Red vs. Blue Quotes
Caboose: Oh. Oh that's not good. Oh my God, that jeep has a really big gun. Hmm. Stay here...tank...stay here...tank....ahh screw it! (Runs towards the tank)
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Church: I guess we'll just sit here. That things gotta run out of bullets sometime.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Church and Tucker are ducked behind rocks to avoid gunfire from the jeep]
Church: My God, doesn't that thing ever run out of bullets?
Tucker: You know, in hind-sight, we should have brought the tank.
Church: (Obviously annoyed) Hey, Tucker, what good is a tank gonna do us if nobody here knows how to drive it?
Tucker: Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock is a much better strategy.
Church: Well... yeah... but... man, I guess I gotta give that one to you.
Church: My God, doesn't that thing ever run out of bullets?
Tucker: You know, in hind-sight, we should have brought the tank.
Church: (Obviously annoyed) Hey, Tucker, what good is a tank gonna do us if nobody here knows how to drive it?
Tucker: Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock is a much better strategy.
Church: Well... yeah... but... man, I guess I gotta give that one to you.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Caboose enters the tank's cockpit, and the engine starts]
Sheila: Hello, and thank you for activating the M8O8V main battle tank. You may call me Sheila.
Caboose: [nervously] Hello... Sheila... big tank lady...
Sheila: Would you like me to run the tutorial program?
Caboose: Oh that be very nice. Thank you.
...
[Caboose, learning how to drive the tank, has rammed it against a rock with most of the treads off the ground]
Sheila Now that you have mastered driving the M8O8V, let's move on to some of the safety features.
Caboose: No! No, wait, go back! Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?
Sheila: Hello, and thank you for activating the M8O8V main battle tank. You may call me Sheila.
Caboose: [nervously] Hello... Sheila... big tank lady...
Sheila: Would you like me to run the tutorial program?
Caboose: Oh that be very nice. Thank you.
...
[Caboose, learning how to drive the tank, has rammed it against a rock with most of the treads off the ground]
Sheila Now that you have mastered driving the M8O8V, let's move on to some of the safety features.
Caboose: No! No, wait, go back! Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Griff and Simmons standing in front of tank.]
Simmons: Lets get back to the jeep. On three. Ready, one..
Griff: Wait! On three? or three and then go?
Simmons: On Three. It's always faster to go on three.
Griff: Ok got it.
Simmons: Ready? One
Sheila: Aquireing target. [Griff turns around and starts running towards the jeep]
Griff: [panting wihle runing]
Sheila: Target locked. [Church is also making a run for the jeep]
Simmons: Two...Three! [Simmons turns around and sees that Griff is already half way to the jeep] Oh you back stabbing cockbite!
Sheila: Firing main cannon [The jeep blows up]
Simmons: Son of a bitch!
Griff: SON OF A BITCH!!!
Church: Son of a bitch!!!
Tucker: [As Church arrives back at rock] Hey, the jeep blew up.
Church: No kidding, thanks for the update, Tucker!
Simmons: Lets get back to the jeep. On three. Ready, one..
Griff: Wait! On three? or three and then go?
Simmons: On Three. It's always faster to go on three.
Griff: Ok got it.
Simmons: Ready? One
Sheila: Aquireing target. [Griff turns around and starts running towards the jeep]
Griff: [panting wihle runing]
Sheila: Target locked. [Church is also making a run for the jeep]
Simmons: Two...Three! [Simmons turns around and sees that Griff is already half way to the jeep] Oh you back stabbing cockbite!
Sheila: Firing main cannon [The jeep blows up]
Simmons: Son of a bitch!
Griff: SON OF A BITCH!!!
Church: Son of a bitch!!!
Tucker: [As Church arrives back at rock] Hey, the jeep blew up.
Church: No kidding, thanks for the update, Tucker!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Church steps out from behind the rock he was hiding behind.]
Church: Hey, Tucker, look at this man, it's the rookie, and he brought the tank out to scare off the reds.
Tucker: What? No way.
Church: [yelling to Caboose] Hey rookie! Good job man! Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank?
Sheila: [main cannon focuses on Church] New target acquired.
Caboose: That's not a target. That's Church!
Church: Yeah that's right, it's me, Church! What's going on man?
Sheila: Target locked.
Caboose: What? No! Target unlock! Unlock! Please help me nice lady!
Sheila: Firing main cannon.
Caboose: Uh-oh...
Tucker: Uh-oh...
Church: What? Oh... son of a--
[Sheila fires and Church goes flying.]
Church: Hey, Tucker, look at this man, it's the rookie, and he brought the tank out to scare off the reds.
Tucker: What? No way.
Church: [yelling to Caboose] Hey rookie! Good job man! Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank?
Sheila: [main cannon focuses on Church] New target acquired.
Caboose: That's not a target. That's Church!
Church: Yeah that's right, it's me, Church! What's going on man?
Sheila: Target locked.
Caboose: What? No! Target unlock! Unlock! Please help me nice lady!
Sheila: Firing main cannon.
Caboose: Uh-oh...
Tucker: Uh-oh...
Church: What? Oh... son of a--
[Sheila fires and Church goes flying.]
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Church: [gasping] Tucker! Tucker!
Tucker: Church! It's going to be okay, man.
Church: No, I, I-I'm not, I'm not going to make it. Tucker, there's something I need to tell you.
Tucker: [increduously] What is it?
Church: I just wanted you to know... I always hated you. I've always hated you the most.
Tucker: [angrily] Yeah, I know you did. Now hurry up and die, you prick.
Church: Okay. Herrkkk... blaahh.
Tucker: Church! It's going to be okay, man.
Church: No, I, I-I'm not, I'm not going to make it. Tucker, there's something I need to tell you.
Tucker: [increduously] What is it?
Church: I just wanted you to know... I always hated you. I've always hated you the most.
Tucker: [angrily] Yeah, I know you did. Now hurry up and die, you prick.
Church: Okay. Herrkkk... blaahh.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Simmons and Grif run back to the base where Donut is standing next to the flag.]
Donut: What happened?
Grif: Big... tank... shooting... Whoo!
Simmons: Damn man, we only ran like 300 feet. You are really out of shape!
Grif: Fuck... you!
Donut: Where's your car?
Simmons: General Patton here had a great strategy to leave it behind.
Grif: Hey, it would've worked if that tank hadn't shown up.
Donut: You lost the jeep? Oh man, Lopez is gonna be pissed. Where is it?
[Sheila's cannon fires, and the Warthog lands next to them on top of the red base.]
Grif: What the hell?
[Shelia fires at the base]
Grif: SON OF A BITCH!
Donut: Oh crap! What the hell is that thing?!
Grif: That's the tank.
Donut: Hey Grif, you wanna hold the flag?
Grif: No! Get that thing away from me!
Donut: What happened?
Grif: Big... tank... shooting... Whoo!
Simmons: Damn man, we only ran like 300 feet. You are really out of shape!
Grif: Fuck... you!
Donut: Where's your car?
Simmons: General Patton here had a great strategy to leave it behind.
Grif: Hey, it would've worked if that tank hadn't shown up.
Donut: You lost the jeep? Oh man, Lopez is gonna be pissed. Where is it?
[Sheila's cannon fires, and the Warthog lands next to them on top of the red base.]
Grif: What the hell?
[Shelia fires at the base]
Grif: SON OF A BITCH!
Donut: Oh crap! What the hell is that thing?!
Grif: That's the tank.
Donut: Hey Grif, you wanna hold the flag?
Grif: No! Get that thing away from me!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tucker: Why do you keep firing at the jeep?
Caboose: Because it's locked on!
Shelia: Target locked.
Tucker: Well, unlock it!
Caboose: Last time I unlocked it, I KILLED CHURCH!
Tucker: Oh, right... keep shooting at the jeep then.
Caboose: Because it's locked on!
Shelia: Target locked.
Tucker: Well, unlock it!
Caboose: Last time I unlocked it, I KILLED CHURCH!
Tucker: Oh, right... keep shooting at the jeep then.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Donut: I hate to be the one to point this out guys, but i think were screwed.
Simmons: Yeah, I have to agree with the rookie on this one.
Sarge: [Radio sounds] Blood Gulch outpost #1, come in blood gulch outpost, come in. Do you read me? This is Sergeant...
Grif: Oh my god, Sarge, is that you?
Sarge: Roger that, private. I am currently inbound to your position from command.
Simmons: Sir, this is Simmons.
Sarge: Hello, Simmons. I hope everything's been good while I'm gone.
Grif: Actually sir things are kind of hectic right now. The new rookie arrived and he managed to infiltrate the blue base. And now we have their flag, the warthog is damaged, one of their guys is dead, and there's this huge fucking tank about to destroy our base.
[Slight Pause]
Sarge: Am I talking to the right base?
Grif: Sarge, we are going to die here.
Sarge: Well then hold tight boys, I think I gotta solution to your little tank problem.
Simmons: Yeah, I have to agree with the rookie on this one.
Sarge: [Radio sounds] Blood Gulch outpost #1, come in blood gulch outpost, come in. Do you read me? This is Sergeant...
Grif: Oh my god, Sarge, is that you?
Sarge: Roger that, private. I am currently inbound to your position from command.
Simmons: Sir, this is Simmons.
Sarge: Hello, Simmons. I hope everything's been good while I'm gone.
Grif: Actually sir things are kind of hectic right now. The new rookie arrived and he managed to infiltrate the blue base. And now we have their flag, the warthog is damaged, one of their guys is dead, and there's this huge fucking tank about to destroy our base.
[Slight Pause]
Sarge: Am I talking to the right base?
Grif: Sarge, we are going to die here.
Sarge: Well then hold tight boys, I think I gotta solution to your little tank problem.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tucker: Uh oh.
[a large shadow flies over the Red Base]
Tucker: : Hey caboose you might wanna get out of the tank like right now!
Caboose: I can't figure out how to GET THIS THING OPEN!
Sheila: Night vision engaged.
Tucker: Rookie! get out now!
Caboose: Ok... open the... ok... Sheila will you please open the door?
Sheila: Driver canopy seat open. Thank you for using the M808V Main Battle...
[Caboose escapes as Sheila is hit by an air strike, blasting her upside down]
Caboose: Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap running running running! Man... That was close.
Tucker: Look at your tank though.
Sheila: [in a fading voice, referencing2001: A Space Odyssey] I'm scared Dave. Will I dream? Daaaivvvvy... Daaaivvvvvy...
Caboose: [screaming] SHEEEEIIIIIILLLLLLLAAAAAAA!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Tucker: What? No! Sheila! Sheila! Wait, who's Sheila?
Caboose: [devastated] shes the lady in the tank
Tucker: aw man i knew you could puk up chicks i a tank
[a large shadow flies over the Red Base]
Tucker: : Hey caboose you might wanna get out of the tank like right now!
Caboose: I can't figure out how to GET THIS THING OPEN!
Sheila: Night vision engaged.
Tucker: Rookie! get out now!
Caboose: Ok... open the... ok... Sheila will you please open the door?
Sheila: Driver canopy seat open. Thank you for using the M808V Main Battle...
[Caboose escapes as Sheila is hit by an air strike, blasting her upside down]
Caboose: Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap running running running! Man... That was close.
Tucker: Look at your tank though.
Sheila: [in a fading voice, referencing2001: A Space Odyssey] I'm scared Dave. Will I dream? Daaaivvvvy... Daaaivvvvvy...
Caboose: [screaming] SHEEEEIIIIIILLLLLLLAAAAAAA!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Tucker: What? No! Sheila! Sheila! Wait, who's Sheila?
Caboose: [devastated] shes the lady in the tank
Tucker: aw man i knew you could puk up chicks i a tank
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Vic: This is Blue Command, come in Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha.
Tucker: Hello! Command! We need help.
Vic: Roger that, Blood Gulch, what is your request?
Tucker: I don't know what the technical military term is for it, but we're pretty fucked up down here. We need men.
Vic: ...Dude, how long have you guys been down there?
Tucker: No not like that! I mean that the red base has five guys, one of our guys is dead.
Vic: Wow.. sucks to be you. Did you get the tank we sent?
Tucker: yeah but it's fucked up too!
Vic: Okay! Okay! well we have two options we can hire a nearby freelancer that will be there within an hour or we can get some troops to you in a week.
Caboose: I like the within in hour one.
Tucker: We prefer the quicker solution sir.
Vic: Okay, we'll have agent texas there within the hour.
Caboose: What is a freelancer.
Tucker: A freelancer is independent they aren't red or blue they just fight for the one who pays the most money.
Caboose: Like a mercinary.
Tucker: Yeah.
Tucker: Hello! Command! We need help.
Vic: Roger that, Blood Gulch, what is your request?
Tucker: I don't know what the technical military term is for it, but we're pretty fucked up down here. We need men.
Vic: ...Dude, how long have you guys been down there?
Tucker: No not like that! I mean that the red base has five guys, one of our guys is dead.
Vic: Wow.. sucks to be you. Did you get the tank we sent?
Tucker: yeah but it's fucked up too!
Vic: Okay! Okay! well we have two options we can hire a nearby freelancer that will be there within an hour or we can get some troops to you in a week.
Caboose: I like the within in hour one.
Tucker: We prefer the quicker solution sir.
Vic: Okay, we'll have agent texas there within the hour.
Caboose: What is a freelancer.
Tucker: A freelancer is independent they aren't red or blue they just fight for the one who pays the most money.
Caboose: Like a mercinary.
Tucker: Yeah.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Grif: and thats pretty much what happend sir.
Sarge: God damnit privite! Do you have any godly idea how much this pice of equpment costs.
Grif: I I don'd know... like two... five dollars...(sigh)your gona kill me now huh?
Sarge: Tell you what im a fair man i'll give you 10 seconds to run be fore i let Lopez here do what ever he wants to you.
Grif: Im not very shure [sarge interupts him]
Sarge: 8 mississippi 7 mississippi.
Grif: Okay then im just gunna go.
Grif: [sarge and lopez look at each other and then start shooting at grif]oww... hey... okay that couls have taken an eye out.
Sarge: God damnit privite! Do you have any godly idea how much this pice of equpment costs.
Grif: I I don'd know... like two... five dollars...(sigh)your gona kill me now huh?
Sarge: Tell you what im a fair man i'll give you 10 seconds to run be fore i let Lopez here do what ever he wants to you.
Grif: Im not very shure [sarge interupts him]
Sarge: 8 mississippi 7 mississippi.
Grif: Okay then im just gunna go.
Grif: [sarge and lopez look at each other and then start shooting at grif]oww... hey... okay that couls have taken an eye out.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Church: Alright, that's it. I swear to God, Caboose... your ass is haunted. When we're done here, I'm gonna haunt you.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Church relates Tex's killing of his old squad via flashback]
Church: The whole thing was over before it even started. Poor Jimmy was the last one to go. Tex walked up to him, pulled Jimmy's skull right out of his head and beat him to death with it.
Tucker: Wait a second... how do you beat someone to death with their own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible.
Church: That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.
[Flasback to Jimmy being beat to death with his own skull]
Jimmy: ' This doesn't seem physically possible!
Church: and as soon as it started is was over.
Tucker: so why didn't tex kill you.
Church: to tell you why i don't know she could have killed me at any time.
Church: The whole thing was over before it even started. Poor Jimmy was the last one to go. Tex walked up to him, pulled Jimmy's skull right out of his head and beat him to death with it.
Tucker: Wait a second... how do you beat someone to death with their own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible.
Church: That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.
[Flasback to Jimmy being beat to death with his own skull]
Jimmy: ' This doesn't seem physically possible!
Church: and as soon as it started is was over.
Tucker: so why didn't tex kill you.
Church: to tell you why i don't know she could have killed me at any time.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tucker: That's basically it sir. They have five guys over there and a big jeep.
Tex: [Speaks through a voice filter] And your flag. [reloads gun]
Tucker: ...Right. That too.
Tex: [Speaks through a voice filter] And your flag. [reloads gun]
Tucker: ...Right. That too.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tucker: Hey, Tex? I don't know what it's been like at your other bases, but we try to not use other soldiers as target practice here.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Caboose: I'm scared...
Tucker: [talking to tex but tex is not listening] So i see you have the special forces black armor, were you in the special forces? [tex reloads somore] yeah i had black armour once but i [tex leaves] hey were are you going?
tex: red base... kill every one... get the flage back.
Tucker: [talking to tex but tex is not listening] So i see you have the special forces black armor, were you in the special forces? [tex reloads somore] yeah i had black armour once but i [tex leaves] hey were are you going?
tex: red base... kill every one... get the flage back.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Donut: hey im tird of holding this flag.
Simmons: throw it our flag.
Donut: well good.
[Tex gets halfway in the canyon and cloaks]
[Tex runs outside red base cloaked]
Grif: What was that. [almost sees tex]
[Tex sticks Donut with a plasma grenade]
Grif: What the fuck?
Donut: What?
Simmons: What is that thing?
Donut: What thing?
Grif: There's something on your head.
Donut: What, is it a spider? Get it off!
Simmons: No, it's not a spider. It's like a blue thing...
Donut: What, like a blue spider? Get it off!!
Grif: It's not a spider! Now calm down! It's some kind of fuzzy, pulsating thing...
Donut: That doesn't sound much better than a spider!
Simmons: Does it hurt?
Donut: No.
Simmons: Maybe we should try to take it off.
Grif: Good idea. Go for it.
Simmons: Me? By "we", I mean you, asshole.
Donut: Well, someone needs to get it off. It might be dangerous.
[The plasma grenade explodes]
Grif and Simmons: SON OF A BITCH!
Simmons: throw it our flag.
Donut: well good.
[Tex gets halfway in the canyon and cloaks]
[Tex runs outside red base cloaked]
Grif: What was that. [almost sees tex]
[Tex sticks Donut with a plasma grenade]
Grif: What the fuck?
Donut: What?
Simmons: What is that thing?
Donut: What thing?
Grif: There's something on your head.
Donut: What, is it a spider? Get it off!
Simmons: No, it's not a spider. It's like a blue thing...
Donut: What, like a blue spider? Get it off!!
Grif: It's not a spider! Now calm down! It's some kind of fuzzy, pulsating thing...
Donut: That doesn't sound much better than a spider!
Simmons: Does it hurt?
Donut: No.
Simmons: Maybe we should try to take it off.
Grif: Good idea. Go for it.
Simmons: Me? By "we", I mean you, asshole.
Donut: Well, someone needs to get it off. It might be dangerous.
[The plasma grenade explodes]
Grif and Simmons: SON OF A BITCH!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Caboose: [Watching Tex through a sniper rifle] Man, he's really kicking their asses.
Tucker: How come I never get the fucking sniper rifle?
Caboose: I'm really glad Tex is on our team and not theirs.
Tucker: Sure makes things a lot easier on us.
Caboose: Yeah... I think switching Tex for Church was a good trade.
Tucker: It definitely seems like your killing Church is working out for us.
Tucker: How come I never get the fucking sniper rifle?
Caboose: I'm really glad Tex is on our team and not theirs.
Tucker: Sure makes things a lot easier on us.
Caboose: Yeah... I think switching Tex for Church was a good trade.
Tucker: It definitely seems like your killing Church is working out for us.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tucker: Let me get this straight... you're telling me that the guy that showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Caboose and beat the hell out of the reds wasn't a guy at all? That he was a chick? And on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?
Church: In a nutshell, yes. That's an excellent summary.
Caboose: I should have known... She didn't like me... Girls, never, like me.
Tucker: Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you.
Caboose: (Dejectedly) I like me...
Church: In a nutshell, yes. That's an excellent summary.
Caboose: I should have known... She didn't like me... Girls, never, like me.
Tucker: Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you.
Caboose: (Dejectedly) I like me...
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Church: Will you shut up with that? She got recruited in to some kind of weird experimental program back during basic where, they infused her armor with this really aggressive A.I. I'm not really sure how it all works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell.
Caboose: A.I. What doses the I stand for[ church interups caboose]
Church: Inteligence.
Caboose: whats [ church interups him agian]
Church: Artificial.
Caboose: oh now i get it what dose the I mean agian?
Church: We need to move on.
...
Tucker: So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer. But underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down-home girl?
Church: Oh hell no. She's always been a rotten bitch, it's just now she's a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements.
Tucker: Wow. Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one. Good catch there buddy, she's a keeper.
Church: So how're you doing, Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?
Caboose: I think so... That guy Tex is really a robot, and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot.
Church: Yeah... that's right... I'm a gay robot.
Caboose: A.I. What doses the I stand for[ church interups caboose]
Church: Inteligence.
Caboose: whats [ church interups him agian]
Church: Artificial.
Caboose: oh now i get it what dose the I mean agian?
Church: We need to move on.
...
Tucker: So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer. But underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down-home girl?
Church: Oh hell no. She's always been a rotten bitch, it's just now she's a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements.
Tucker: Wow. Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one. Good catch there buddy, she's a keeper.
Church: So how're you doing, Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?
Caboose: I think so... That guy Tex is really a robot, and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot.
Church: Yeah... that's right... I'm a gay robot.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sarge: well look whos up did you have a nice nap princes.
Tex: hey you cockbites broke my voice filter.
Grif: i knew it only a chick could give me a headache this big.
Grif: not so tuff now that we unloaded your gun huh?
Tex: hey buddy i dont need a gun to kill you.
Grif: yeah right
[Tex moves forward to make grif flinch: ]
Tex: hey you cockbites broke my voice filter.
Grif: i knew it only a chick could give me a headache this big.
Grif: not so tuff now that we unloaded your gun huh?
Tex: hey buddy i dont need a gun to kill you.
Grif: yeah right
[Tex moves forward to make grif flinch: ]
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Simmons: There's no L in it, it's pronounced 'both.'
Griff: That's what I'm saying, bolth.
Simmons: Both.
Griff: You sound like an ass the way you say it.
Sarge: Griff, quicher yammerin' and get your keester up here. Need some help, got some more of dem spec ops fellas headed toward the base.
Griff: As in, more than one? Uh, maybe we should bolth go, sir.
Simmons: BOTH!
Griff: Seriously dude, like an ass.
Sarge: Well, well. Another brilliant idea from the think tank! Why don't you both come up, leave the prisoner alone? We could just put her on the honour system, have her guard herself.
Griff: Good point, sir.
Sarge: YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT IT IS! Now get your ass up here. We've got just enough time for me to spray paint the bullseye on your back. Ah, by bullseye I of course mean camoflage. Now move it cupcake.
Griff: That's what I'm saying, bolth.
Simmons: Both.
Griff: You sound like an ass the way you say it.
Sarge: Griff, quicher yammerin' and get your keester up here. Need some help, got some more of dem spec ops fellas headed toward the base.
Griff: As in, more than one? Uh, maybe we should bolth go, sir.
Simmons: BOTH!
Griff: Seriously dude, like an ass.
Sarge: Well, well. Another brilliant idea from the think tank! Why don't you both come up, leave the prisoner alone? We could just put her on the honour system, have her guard herself.
Griff: Good point, sir.
Sarge: YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT IT IS! Now get your ass up here. We've got just enough time for me to spray paint the bullseye on your back. Ah, by bullseye I of course mean camoflage. Now move it cupcake.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tucker: (Over Church's radio, fighting with Caboose) I'm not yelling. I'm just telling you to let me finish talking to Church! No! I'll tell him you said "hi" later. No, you can't talk to him! How could you possibly talk to him on my headset?
Church: [Radio clicks] Oh my God... I can't believe I actually died for this war.
Church: [Radio clicks] Oh my God... I can't believe I actually died for this war.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sarge: They're definitely special-ops. I haven't seen troop movements this coordinated since my days on Sidewi- [Sarge gets possessed by Church] Wakeegeeheerager!
Grif: Sir, are you OK?
Church: Uhh... who ya talking to red? Me?
Grif: No, I'm talking to Lopez, because, you know, that's real rewarding [Lopez swipes at Grif] Hey, what'd I tell you about that?
Church: I..uh..I'm fine! That's...I'm just so mad about, these..uh..goddamn blues out here! They got me so goddamn mad, I could spit! [Church(Sarge) spits in his helmet]
Grif: Um...sir? Did you just spit inside your own helmet?
Church: Uh...yeah. I guess did.
Grif: Permission to speak freely sir?
Church: Go ahead.
Grif: That's really fucking gross.
Grif: Sir, are you OK?
Church: Uhh... who ya talking to red? Me?
Grif: No, I'm talking to Lopez, because, you know, that's real rewarding [Lopez swipes at Grif] Hey, what'd I tell you about that?
Church: I..uh..I'm fine! That's...I'm just so mad about, these..uh..goddamn blues out here! They got me so goddamn mad, I could spit! [Church(Sarge) spits in his helmet]
Grif: Um...sir? Did you just spit inside your own helmet?
Church: Uh...yeah. I guess did.
Grif: Permission to speak freely sir?
Church: Go ahead.
Grif: That's really fucking gross.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Church: hey other red guy get up top side now ill watch the prisoner.
Simmons: your acting a little suspicuos sarge are you shure you okay?
Church: im fine but your acting kindda suspicous your self"
Simmons: yeah right sarge [ church huts simmons in the back of the head ] oww the back of my head.
Tex: what the hell are you doing?!
Church: tex its me church im here to bust you out.
Tex: no offense but your a little short to be church.
Church: oh right [church leavs sarge's body] okay im a ghost because caboose killed me with the tank so i took over this guys body to break you out.
Tex: okay.
Church: what thats it no questons?
Tex: yep it all makes sense.
Sarge: ow hey why do do i feel funny and who spit on my visor?
[ Church re enters sarges body: ]
Simmons: oww why did you do that sarge?: [ in regard to tex hiting him in the face] oww the fron of my face!
Simmons: your acting a little suspicuos sarge are you shure you okay?
Church: im fine but your acting kindda suspicous your self"
Simmons: yeah right sarge [ church huts simmons in the back of the head ] oww the back of my head.
Tex: what the hell are you doing?!
Church: tex its me church im here to bust you out.
Tex: no offense but your a little short to be church.
Church: oh right [church leavs sarge's body] okay im a ghost because caboose killed me with the tank so i took over this guys body to break you out.
Tex: okay.
Church: what thats it no questons?
Tex: yep it all makes sense.
Sarge: ow hey why do do i feel funny and who spit on my visor?
[ Church re enters sarges body: ]
Simmons: oww why did you do that sarge?: [ in regard to tex hiting him in the face] oww the fron of my face!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Church has broken Tex out of the brig]
Church: Alright, I'll make one more distraction, and then you run up to the teleporter and escape. Ready? One...two...thr- [Caboose fires the sniper rifle, killing Sarge] What the... where did my body go?! Oh you've gotta be kidding me! [Looks around]
Caboose: Tucker did it!
Church: Alright, I'll make one more distraction, and then you run up to the teleporter and escape. Ready? One...two...thr- [Caboose fires the sniper rifle, killing Sarge] What the... where did my body go?! Oh you've gotta be kidding me! [Looks around]
Caboose: Tucker did it!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Just before Sarge returns to the real world from the afterlife]:
Sarge: Will I remember any of this?
Church: Yes, but only if you give me two dollars!
Sarge: Will I remember any of this?
Church: Yes, but only if you give me two dollars!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue