Psych Quotes

Hornstock: My firm doesn't really believe in…
Shawn: Winning?
Hornstock: No.
Shawn: Mermaids?
Hornstock: No.
Shawn: The Minotaur?
Hornstock: Me.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Did he just say "absolutely" with a little half-smile? Would you print that out please, I’m thinking of shellacking it on a nice piece of maple. Maybe a little decoupage!

TV Show: Psych
Gus: Don't you watch the news?
Shawn: I can't watch Channel 8 anymore. Lloyd Lansing wears a toupee. It's like every newscast begins with a lie.

TV Show: Psych
Gus: Wait a second! This is my Airwolf windbreaker! I've been looking for this for like five years now! Why did you take this? I never even saw you wear it.
Shawn: Of course I didn't wear it. I took it so you wouldn't. Don't put it on. Gus, nobody had an Airwolf jacket except Jan-Michael Vincent!

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: We find the mystery lover, we find her.
Gus: Dude. Why don’t I ever get to say things like that?

TV Show: Psych
Gus: I need face time with my boss; I already missed the pamper pole trust exercise.
Shawn: I'm uncomfortable with you even saying the words "pamper pole."

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Right, I'd never seen a girl lie about entering the witness protection program.
Gus: She wasn't lying, Shawn.
Shawn: Gus, I saw her at Starbucks.
Gus: You can't be sure of that.
Shawn: She was wearing a name tag, she had a plaque on the wall. Employee of the Month. Her hobbies were hiding, and lying about hiding.

TV Show: Psych
Lassiter: Scratch that, I'm gonna let you guys stick around and see what real detectives do.
Shawn: Sweet. Just let us know when they get here.

TV Show: Psych
[About Shawn's private eye license]
Henry: What about your license?
Shawn: Oh, you mean my pilot's license? That's out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you're refering to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I'd have to kill you, which I can't do because my license to kill has been revoked.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Why you dirty, filthy rascal with the suede, suede head.

TV Show: Psych
Brandon Peterson: I screwed up on my own, I'm going to face him on my own.
Shawn: That's very Cameron Frye of you.
Brandon: Cameron who?
Shawn: Wow, are we that much older than you?

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Pack it in, pull the plug, shut it down, leave the dead meat in the freezer, and put on your Sunday best ‘cause its Arbor Day, baby!

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: The chips say you're a cheater, cheater pumpkin eater!

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: I see a man... He's driving your car... You don't know him... He's a valet, at a mall! Wait, I see a shoe store, your father's gold card, a Jamba Juice may have been involved.
Bianca: Oh, my God, I totally went shopping today! And I passed a Jamba on State Street! You are amazing.

TV Show: Psych
Bianca: Ok, here goes. This is so scary. I was lying in bed watching "One Tree Hill," my favorite show. Chad Michael Murray is so hot. And I had this cute liquid kitty alarm clock, it meows and blinks its eyes every half hour. So, all of a sudden, they just start blinking over and over and over, and then, it just stopped! And then, it let out this half meow: Mmmmraaa--! And then its tail fell off, and then... it exploded!
Shawn: Wow. Uhhh, slow build. Uhh, half meow? Unexpected. Didn't see the end coming at all. How 'bout you, Gus?
Gus: Uh, what? No, I can't say that I did.

TV Show: Psych
Alice Bundy: And so now, on behalf of the entire suit of the broken hearts, Alice will now lop off the queen's head! [She pauses and laughs a bit] That sounded so much better out loud than it did in my head!

TV Show: Psych
Gus: Dude, we actually started an urban legend!
Shawn: That's dope! [they bump fists]

TV Show: Psych
Lassiter: You missed something. We found prints.
Shawn: Was he in a little red corvette?
Gus: Under a cherry moon?
Lassiter: FINGER-prints!

TV Show: Psych
Nigel St. Nigel: I feel like I have been incarcerated in a blueberry. This car makes me want to weep and then die.

TV Show: Psych
Lassiter: I'm gonna crack her like a bad back!
Chief Vick: Please don't.

TV Show: Psych
Nigel St. Nigel: Nose hair trimmer. Invest.
Henry: Can you even remember what it felt like to be able to move the muscles in your face?
Nigel St. Nigel: Who decorated this place? Kris Kristofferson?
Henry: I built that table.
Nigel St. Nigel: Really? I'm pretty sure if I were to build a table, I would start by using wood that had never drifted.
Henry: All right. You know... that's it.
Nigel St. Nigel: Already? I'm just getting started. I've got a sonnet for each piece of fish paraphernalia.
Henry: Oh yeah? Well I've got an ice-cold can of whup-ass just sitting in that fridge!
Shawn: Actually it's diet whup-ass.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: You're mad.
Gus: I'm not mad; I'm happy, I'm thrilled. I love looking like an idiot.
Shawn: That explains your shoes.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Don't panic. Those bites are consistent with a T-Rex bite.
Gus: You know that?
Shawn: I know that the hard way. [shows picture of himself in the mouth of a T-Rex skeleton] I was canned from the Wyoming National Museum for that shot. The bruises didn't go away for a year, but it was totally worth it. It was my best screensaver ever!

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: I can play six degrees of dinosaur with you right now... You've never been in a movie with Kevin Bacon or a dilophosaurus, have you?
Gus: How about you play six degrees of kiss my ass?
Shawn: First of all, that sounds like a totally disturbing game.

TV Show: Psych
Juliet: Detective Lassiter is literally on fire today.
Shawn: "Literally on fire" as in Michael Jackson in the Pepsi commercial, or as in misuse of the word "literally"?

TV Show: Psych
Henry Spencer: Shawn, I've been worried about you since you turned three and started eating your own toenails.

TV Show: Psych
Lindsay Leiken: That's ridiculous.
Shawn: Is it? It's not like I'm wearing a giant moose costume.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: I've heard of this. It's spontaneous psychic krav maga!

TV Show: Psych
Chief Vick: Lassiter, ease up. We're lucky if our psychic doesn't lick the body.

TV Show: Psych
Agent Ewing: If I had learned how to laugh as a child I would right now.

TV Show: Psych