Psych Quotes

Shawn: My name is Shawn Spencer; this is my partner... I can't believe I'm blanking, I've done this a million times.

TV Show: Psych
Chief Vick: Oh, and this is a typo, right? $800 for skates?
Juliet: Would it help if I told you the other pairs weren't cute at all?

TV Show: Psych
[Shawn and Gus find a wrapped up body that turns out to be Westwood]
Shawn: Oh thank God!
Gus: Thank God? It's a dead person!
Shawn: Yeah, but it's not Juliet.
Gus: It's still a human being, Shawn; it's Westwood. What's the matter with you?
Shawn: You're saying you'd rather it be someone we knew and care about? Fine, next time I see Jules I'll just tell her you wish she was dead.

TV Show: Psych
Gus: I never thought I would hear you say that.
Shawn: Even more than "sinkhole sissy-feet flapjack go-go boots"?

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: And... cut! Great, dripping with swagger! Let's go again though, and maybe ease up on the cocksure smile just a bit.

TV Show: Psych
Gus: Your not coming in? Your gonna make me stand in that deposit line all by myself?
Shawn: Nope buddy I will be with you in spirit like a tiny wood nymph. Besides what's your glitch with the ATM machine anyway?
Gus: its a people thing Shawn business should always be done face to face.
Shawn: Well if you remember I'm holding a bit of a grudge against this particular banking institution.
Gus: Why because they turned you down for a small business loan last year?
Shawn: Yes because they turned me down for a small business loan that was completely legitimate Gus.
Gus: Shawn it was for a zip line pulley system to transport snacks from the kitchen to your desk.
Shawn: Or the reception area. What's your point?
Gus: Part of a running a business together Shawn is sharing in the responsibilities of the business side of the business like making deposits.
Shawn: What about the bidness side because I feel like I'm more of a bidness man. Who's covering that?
Gus: You know what? Fine I'll do it myself.

TV Show: Psych
Gus: We're in a hostage situation, Shawn. You don't get that?
Shawn: I do get it. What I don't get is the bulletproof vest over the shirt. What is that?

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: You know I'm not really a regular person, right Phil?
Phil: What does that mean?
Shawn: 'Cause I tried once and failed. I'm just too unique and interesting.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Gus, don't be exactly half of an eleven-pound Black Forest ham!

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Hi, I'm Shawn Spencer. This is my friend, Hummingbird Saltalamacchia.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: [spelling] T-H-E-S-E-A-L-I-O-N.
Lassiter: Thesealion? Is that French?

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: You wanna be hawk-eye or crow's nest?

TV Show: Psych
[Henry wraps a tie around Shawn's eyes]
Young Shawn: Did you get me a pinata?
Henry: Nope.
Young Shawn: Pepsi challenge?
Henry: Nope.
Young Shawn: Am I being executed?

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: It's just stupid, thats all. I mean, if he didnt have any hair the no one had any business calling him Fuzzy Wuzzy."
Gus: They were being ironic, Shawn.
Shawn: Yeah, but he wasnt fuzzy, was he?!
Gus: No, he wasnt! irony, Shawn!
Shawn: My point precisely!

TV Show: Psych
Gus: I'm still not convinced, Shawn. How can you be absolutely certain that Lassiter didn't shoot Chavez?
Shawn: It's relatively easy, Gus. I decided to be and therefore I am. Socrates said that.
Gus: No, that was Descartes.
Shawn: That was the cologne we wore in high school.
Gus: That was Drakkar Noir.
Shawn: No, that's a wine.
Gus: That's pinot noir.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: It's time to go into stealth mode.
Gus: Stealth mode? Hit The Jackal switch!

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: I can't believe you actually thought that text was from me. It lacked all nuance, my signature mocking tone, and was utterly devoid of emoticons.

TV Show: Psych
Gus: Before we get started we always like to ask a few preliminary questions. Standard stuff.
Lassiter: Ok, fire away.
Gus: Ok, umm. Let's see: one, did you kill that guy?

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: What are you, the Great Gatsby? Going to do a little swan-watching with Daisy Buchanan later?
Gus: Wow, how did you come up with that one?
Shawn: Eighth grade summer reading, whaaaat.

TV Show: Psych
Lassiter: A dead body changes things.
Shawn: That's his email signature.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Independent contractor, does that mean she was a...
Gus: A hit woman? Yes.
Shawn: So I probably shouldn't...
Gus: Yes, don't even think about it.

TV Show: Psych
Lassiter: I want our killer—
Shawn: Arsassin! Or karsonist?
Gus: Arsassin.
. . .
Lassiter: This could be our killer.
Shawn: Furderer.
Lassiter: What?
Shawn: Fire murderer... furderer.
. . .
Shawn: We have found our arsonurderer.
Gus: What?
Shawn: Firearsman.
Gus: Uh-uh.
Shawn: Señor pantalones del fuego?

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: So, kiddies, always remember to put out your cigarettes when you are finished smoking them.
Teacher: Excuse me!
Shawn: Uh, I mean don't smoke in bed... Or in restaurants... Or in caves.
Teacher: No smoking, absolutely no smoking.
Gus: And don't listen to anyone who says that a pipe is cool, because I'm telling it is not.
Fire Chief Dan: Get out, get out, get out!

TV Show: Psych
Gus: I plead the Fifth.
Shawn: Mmm, element, dimension, Beatle?
Gus: You can't plead Billy Preston.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: How do I look, Jules?
Juliet: Like my 11-year-old nephew in his Peyton Manning pajamas.
Shawn: Your 11-year-old nephew is ruggedly sexy? That's weird.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: How do I look?
Gus: Like an idiot.
Shawn: Sweet.

TV Show: Psych
Gus: I am not massaging those guys. I only use these hands to touch myself. ...Let me rephrase that.
Shawn: Please stop speaking. And no more fist bumps for the rest of the day.

TV Show: Psych
Ryan: The night before I went to this restaurant to get a basket of these things called "fries quatro quesos dos fritos"; you know, the ones where they inject potatoes with a four-cheese mixture, fry them three quarters of the way, pull them out, batter them, fry them again, and then serve them with bacon and a nacho chili sour cream? Anyway, as I was sitting there, a car speeds right through the storefront across the street. It makes such a loud noise I had to turn my head and look and that is when I overheard the guys with the curlicues on his face tell the other guy in the corner table about the assassination plot.
Shawn: Can that be true?
Gus: No way.
Shawn: I mean, is that even possible?
Gus: I couldn't imagine it!
Shawn: There's no way they could prepare a fry like that; that'd be way too much for the... for the human palate to manage!
Gus: It would be a flavor seizure.
Chief Vick: Gentlemen, please, don't be ridiculous.
Shawn: The Chief's right; let's just, just take a minute here to think this through. [pauses] They must be parboiling the potato first.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: How can you tell that someone's a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming their pants aren't on fire.

TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Gus, don't be this crevice in my arm.

TV Show: Psych