Psych Quotes
[Shawn, Gus and Lassiter find one of the Civil War re-enactors with a very real bullet wound]
Shawn: Either that guy is a phenomenal actor... or he's dead.
Shawn: Either that guy is a phenomenal actor... or he's dead.
TV Show: Psych
Sally: [Gus is wearing his Civil War uniform and plume] I think you look dashing. Personally I always loved the marching band.
TV Show: Psych
Receptionist: There is a Lt. Crunch here to see you.
Gus: Crunch?
[Shawn enters dressed in Civil War uniform]
Shawn: Actually I've been promoted. It's Captain Crunch.
Gus: Crunch?
[Shawn enters dressed in Civil War uniform]
Shawn: Actually I've been promoted. It's Captain Crunch.
TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Good morning, detectives! Are we collecting donations for the policeman's ball?
Lassiter: We don't have balls.
Shawn: I honestly have no response to that.
Lassiter: Need I remind you, Mr. Spencer, what happens when you interfere with a police investigation?
Shawn: Uhh... the case gets solved?
Lassiter: We don't have balls.
Shawn: I honestly have no response to that.
Lassiter: Need I remind you, Mr. Spencer, what happens when you interfere with a police investigation?
Shawn: Uhh... the case gets solved?
TV Show: Psych
Gus: When I asked her her name, Shawn, she said, "My name—"
[Shawn cuts in with a high pitched voice]
Shawn: "My name is Wilting Flower, I died without knowing love. Will you be my friend?"
Gus: H-how did you know that? I never told that to anyone before!
Shawn: I was Wilting Flower! Gus! I can't believe you fell for that!
[Shawn cuts in with a high pitched voice]
Shawn: "My name is Wilting Flower, I died without knowing love. Will you be my friend?"
Gus: H-how did you know that? I never told that to anyone before!
Shawn: I was Wilting Flower! Gus! I can't believe you fell for that!
TV Show: Psych
Amy Kessler: He was drunk and pretended that she had him confused with someone else. He said his name was—get this—Martin Brody.
Shawn: Martin Brody? [Pause]Roy Scheider's character from Jaws?
Amy Kessler: Yes. How did you know?
Shawn: ...I've seen Jaws.
Shawn: Martin Brody? [Pause]Roy Scheider's character from Jaws?
Amy Kessler: Yes. How did you know?
Shawn: ...I've seen Jaws.
TV Show: Psych
Gus: I have to get back to work.
Shawn: Gus? The plot is thickening!
Gus: Shawn, I've already missed two days this week.
Shawn: Oh, fine, fine, fine. I respect your wishes. Jerk chicken.
Gus: You know that's right.
[Shawn is now driving, and Gus is just waking up]
Shawn: There he is.
Gus: What time is it?
Shawn: Day time.
Gus: What happened?
Shawn: Uh... I might have dropped six allergy pills in your Frosty while you were peeing.
Shawn: Gus? The plot is thickening!
Gus: Shawn, I've already missed two days this week.
Shawn: Oh, fine, fine, fine. I respect your wishes. Jerk chicken.
Gus: You know that's right.
[Shawn is now driving, and Gus is just waking up]
Shawn: There he is.
Gus: What time is it?
Shawn: Day time.
Gus: What happened?
Shawn: Uh... I might have dropped six allergy pills in your Frosty while you were peeing.
TV Show: Psych
Juliet: You're not hired. I can't pay you. If it turns out there's something to it, I'll make sure you get put on the case. That's all I can do.
Shawn: Juliet, I'm quite sure we could work out some kind of services exchange. You see I like to do some sketching myself and sometimes I need a model.
Juliet: Huh! [gets up and walks from the room]
Shawn: Was that inappropriate? ...Felt ok.
Shawn: Juliet, I'm quite sure we could work out some kind of services exchange. You see I like to do some sketching myself and sometimes I need a model.
Juliet: Huh! [gets up and walks from the room]
Shawn: Was that inappropriate? ...Felt ok.
TV Show: Psych
Shawn: This place is trashed.
Gus: Maybe Johnny Depp stopped by.
Shawn: I'm sorry, did that joke just arrive in a time machine from 1992?
Gus: Maybe Johnny Depp stopped by.
Shawn: I'm sorry, did that joke just arrive in a time machine from 1992?
TV Show: Psych
Juliet: I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answers to.
Shawn: Then never ask your boyfriend if he thinks your sister's hot.
Juliet: I don't have a sister.
Shawn: How about a boyfriend?
Shawn: Then never ask your boyfriend if he thinks your sister's hot.
Juliet: I don't have a sister.
Shawn: How about a boyfriend?
TV Show: Psych
Vick: My water just broke.
Lassiter: Are you sure?
Vick: No, Carlton, there's water spilling out of me for some other reason!
Lassiter: Oh no... Oh, can you move my briefcase?
Lassiter: Are you sure?
Vick: No, Carlton, there's water spilling out of me for some other reason!
Lassiter: Oh no... Oh, can you move my briefcase?
TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Wait, was this the movie you dragged me to where the hero had big nipples on the outside of his costume?
Hiltz Kooler: [quietly] Damn those nipples!
Shawn: [chuckles] They were like big, angry marshmallows!
Hiltz Kooler: [quietly] Damn those nipples!
Shawn: [chuckles] They were like big, angry marshmallows!
TV Show: Psych
Gus: What are you doing? We don't know anything about delivering warthog babies.
Shawn: Ah, babies are babies. You just pull it out at the right time. The real question is, are you allergic to placenta?
[cut to another part of the zoo; Gus is running away from the warthog pen, hand over his face]
Gus: Oh God, my eyes!
Shawn: Ah, babies are babies. You just pull it out at the right time. The real question is, are you allergic to placenta?
[cut to another part of the zoo; Gus is running away from the warthog pen, hand over his face]
Gus: Oh God, my eyes!
TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Captain Conners, how are you sir?
Conners: [He has memory problems] Look at you fellas, all grown up. How long's it been?
Shawn: About a day.
Gus: Less, actually.
Conners: [He has memory problems] Look at you fellas, all grown up. How long's it been?
Shawn: About a day.
Gus: Less, actually.
TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Simba, I am your father.
Gus: Mufasa never said that
Shawn: Mufasa, Vader, I'm Not Rappaport, it's all James Earl Jones.
Gus: Mufasa never said that
Shawn: Mufasa, Vader, I'm Not Rappaport, it's all James Earl Jones.
TV Show: Psych
Shawn: [in a fake Swedish accent] Maybe it's because all of California is on the diet. Yes? All the surfing boys and the model girls.
TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Hello Ladies and Gentleman, [dramatic music] I will be your narrator. My name is Aurora... Borealis! There are over four... hundred stars in our galaxy, maybe more. No one knows for sure. Many have said the universe is even larger than the Indian ocean, that is why it is called Infinitum Staroctopussium. [constellations come up] Ah yes, our glorious constellations, take a look. Over here we have... one with a guy... holding some sort of... thing. Over here, our beloved Olympic rings, all seven of them. And here, here's one with a fish.
Vernon: You gotta name them.
Shawn: Notice straight, straight above you, the Hammer of Jeff. And over there to the south—
Vernon: North.
Shawn: —North, you will see Monkey with Rash. The Egyptians used to set their clocks by it. [comet crosses the sky] Oh look, there goes an asteroid.
Vernon: Comet.
Shawn: Comet. It's what they named that cleaning solution after. I know it may stink if you leave it in the sink, but boy, oh boy, does it clean.
Vernon: You gotta name them.
Shawn: Notice straight, straight above you, the Hammer of Jeff. And over there to the south—
Vernon: North.
Shawn: —North, you will see Monkey with Rash. The Egyptians used to set their clocks by it. [comet crosses the sky] Oh look, there goes an asteroid.
Vernon: Comet.
Shawn: Comet. It's what they named that cleaning solution after. I know it may stink if you leave it in the sink, but boy, oh boy, does it clean.
TV Show: Psych
Lassiter: There is something I've got to get off my chest.
Shawn: Is it your shirt? Please say no.
Shawn: Is it your shirt? Please say no.
TV Show: Psych
Lorraine: This is a speed dating first! [to Shawn and Juliet] You and you are a 100 percent match from your personality questionnaires. I smell love!
Juliet: I need a drink.
Shawn: I gotta pee.
Juliet: I need a drink.
Shawn: I gotta pee.
TV Show: Psych
Shawn: What is that?
Henry: What?
Shawn: Exfoliating scrub, with pumice!
Henry: Whatever, Shawn. All I know is when I varnish my boat and I don't want it to streak, I sand off a layer first. Same thing goes with tanning.
Shawn: That is the single most disturbing analogy I've ever heard in my entire life.
Henry: What?
Shawn: Exfoliating scrub, with pumice!
Henry: Whatever, Shawn. All I know is when I varnish my boat and I don't want it to streak, I sand off a layer first. Same thing goes with tanning.
Shawn: That is the single most disturbing analogy I've ever heard in my entire life.
TV Show: Psych
Juliet: I had no idea you were so serious about bowling.
Shawn: Quite serious, quite serious. Matter of fact, LEGO wants to sponsor me this year.
Juliet: Oh my God, that's great.
Shawn: They also want me to wear shoes made out of LEGOs, so I'm torn.
Shawn: Quite serious, quite serious. Matter of fact, LEGO wants to sponsor me this year.
Juliet: Oh my God, that's great.
Shawn: They also want me to wear shoes made out of LEGOs, so I'm torn.
TV Show: Psych
Shawn: Come on, Lassie. Show some chest hair. Chicks dig the sternum bush. Come on! Go Simon Cowell! You've got the salt and pepper! IT'S NICE!
TV Show: Psych