Press Gang Quotes

Kenny: Why, it’s Cinderella back from the ball. So how was Prince Charming?
Lynda: Stow it, Buttons!
Kenny: Fair enough, boss. Actually, I’ve always thought of you more as the wicked queen from Snow White.

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: This is lying, Kenny. I haven't dropped dead, either.
Kenny: Well, it could take you this long to stop talking.

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: It's you and me, Kenny. The wicked queen and Jiminy Cricket.

TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny: Highest IQ in the room, and I stay friends with her.

TV Show: Press Gang
Spike: Know what that woman's done to me?
Frazz: Dated you, dumped you, broken your heart, driven you back to America, and given you a serious hang-up about all other women because you know you're basically still crazy about her and always will be.
Spike: Lucky guess.
Frazz: Did I miss anything?
Spike: She stole my passport.

TV Show: Press Gang
Spike [answering the phone]: Spike Thomson, advice line for the love-lorn.
Kenny: I’ve just met someone I really like. Is it too soon to steal her passport?
Spike: You know about that?
Kenny: Spike, it’s Kenny.

TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny [on the newsagent]: Just a plain and ordinary guy I wouldn't mind seeing dead.

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: Dear diary, it's that cute American again, and he's searching my desk. Does this mean he fancies me? It's so difficult to know what to say in these situations. One wants to be firm with him, but just a little seductive. Find out what the hell he's doing, but maybe encourage him a little. I need style, authority, and sex appeal. [pause, and, to Spike] Something of interest in my drawers?

TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: Spike, baby. I didn't know you were back from Birmingham!
Spike: America, Colin. I went home to America.
Colin: No kidding - I thought you were from Birmingham.

TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: And put in loads of adjectives. I love those.

TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: I'm not really following all this, am I?

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: This is life. No guaranteed happy endings.

TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny: Do you realise, if it wasn’t for a coincidence of floorboard repair and post fifty odd years ago, I wouldn’t exist? I just find that weird. Scary. My whole life is the result of some dumb mistake. I feel like I’m not supposed to be here. Is that sounding, like, really dumb and stupid?
Lynda: Yes. Come on, let’s get some more coffees and see who we can fire from graphics.
Kenny: Well, I’m sorry if my problems are not providing enough entertainment for you, Lynda!
Lynda: Oh, don’t be like that, Kenny. They usually do.
Kenny: I want to discuss this.
Lynda: Kenny, what's the point? You'll only start going on about philosophy and destiny and the meaning of life. I hate those. [To the waitress] Actually, forget the biscuits, he's putting on weight.
Kenny : Try and understand. I want to discuss a problem I am having with my closest friend.
Lynda: Haven't you got any other problems?
Kenny : Specifically, the problem I have concerning the letter.
Lynda: But I don't like that one!
Kenny [to the waitress]: I am not putting on weight, I will have those biscuits, thank you.
Lynda [to the waitress]: Just the one, though.
Kenny: Look, let me put it another way -.
Lynda: A really different way?
Kenny: Remember that time I kept getting a wrong number? I was trying to phone my aunt.
Lynda: Oh, right, yeah. The girl in Dublin.” [To the waitress] He fell in love with a wrong number!
Kenny: Look, I really clicked with that girl. Now, suppose I had actually found out her number, and we’d met up? It’s possible, I’m only saying possible, that we could have ended up some day together. Married, with kids, or whatever.
Lynda: Some people get over a wrong number faster th

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda [to Kenny, on the other side of the door]: I'm making a few concessions here - just a few conditions under which I'm prepared to discuss your problem.
Kenny: Okay, let's hear them.
Lynda: I can't come in?
Kenny: Conditions?
Lynda: I got them typed up. [She passes paper through the letter-box]
Kenny: Fifteen, Lynda? What I had in mind was a more personal, sincere apology.
Lynda: I told you. It’s in your in-tray.
Kenny [opening the door]: Why do you have absolutely no conception of the responsibilities of friendship?
Lynda: Oh, that's nice, the same day I send you a memo.
Kenny: I just don’t understand why it’s so difficult to discuss a problem with my best friend.
Lynda: And I don’t see why it has to be that particular problem. You’ve got hundreds.
Kenny: What do you mean, I've got hundreds?
Lynda: Oh, come on, Kenny, you're a complete neurotic!
Kenny: I'm a complete neurotic? Well, let's just take a little look at who's talking here!
Lynda: What do you mean by that?
Kenny: Well, no offence, Lynda, but let's be honest. You're a selfish, paranoic, maladjusted, psychotic, complete bitch!

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda [on Kenny's new theory of destiny]: Don't talk so wet, Kenny, there's no such thing.

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: What came after maladjusted? I'm considering a tattoo.
Kenny: I'm sorry, too, boss.

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: Who was it?
Kenny: Oh, just a wrong number.

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: You and me Spike, we're held together by a force even stronger than true love.
Spike: Which is?
Lynda: We both want the last word.

TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny: I hate to interrupt this, but you've got a budget meeting with Kerr.
Lynda: This is flirt time with Spike - top of the page.
Kenny [checking the diary]: I stand corrected.

TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny [being held at gunpoint]: Is this a burglary? Not that I'm trying to rush you or anything.

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda [on the broken mirror]: It's the kind of thing that could make a girl insecure about her looks.

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: Wrong day to power dress.

TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny: Coffee-making. That's something I always wanted to have a shot at.

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda: I think you're getting your biology a little confused.

TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: Do you have to keep pointing at me gun-wise? It's just that I've got a naturally high fear level. Probably if you were just a bit cross with me, that would do it.

TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: Those guys out there haven't quite made up their minds about you. I mean, maybe you're just one of these wacky kids who likes to tease his friends with a loaded firearm. We all know one.

TV Show: Press Gang
Spike: What do you know? Twelve o'clock and we've had a gun siege already.

TV Show: Press Gang
Colin: Can I just say, on behalf on everyone, I'm glad you didn't kill Kenny. That would have been one serious bummer. I'm sorry if I'm sounding emotional.

TV Show: Press Gang
Lynda [on being held hostage by a gunman]: Kenny, I want you to get up and walk out of here.
Gunman: Don't.
Kenny: Well, look, can you two maybe come to some kind of agreement on this?

TV Show: Press Gang
Kenny: If I get killed doing this, you're going to feel really guilty.
Lynda: Why would I? You won't be there to tell me to.

TV Show: Press Gang