Law and Order - Criminal Intent Quotes

[Goren is prevented for the third time from trying to enter Mrs. Gruenwald's apartment.]
Goren: You are tough, Mrs. Gruenwald, 'cause normally Detective Eames and I, we'd be in the living room by now.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: [Coming from a bail hearing] Now I know what a cattle auction feels like.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[At a rehearsal for Mrs. Whitney's one-woman show.]
Mrs. Whitney: Larry, I think I should be nearer to the edge of the stage. I want to fix them with my eyes. I want to frighten them.
Bradley: Take my word for it, Marion. If they're here tonight, they'll be frightened.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Mrs. Whitney: [As she is being arrested] You can't do this to me. This can't be happening to me.
Eames: Sorry. Looks like you forgot your ruby slippers.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: I think Harvey will like jail. Well, it's where all the famous people are these days.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren and Eames find a black briefcase in a garbage can after looking over a victim who was killed by a bomb.]
Eames: [Turns away] I'm going to get the bomb guys.
Goren: [Reaches in to grab a tag off the briefcase.] There's an ID tag on the briefcase.
[Eames attempts to stop him, then closes her eyes and puts her head in her hand.]
Goren: [Reading] It's B&C Copier Systems. Ernie Dominguez. [He turns it to show Eames.]
Eames: It's so nice to be back.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Going through the victim's closet.]
Eames: Three ties-- clip-ons.
Goren: In case they get caught in the rollers of the copier. He's careful.
Eames: He should've worn a clip-on bomb.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: She worshipped a saint and raised a sinner.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren and Eames investigate a serial killer who kills to create a perfect, submissive partner]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: Tagman volunteered for an experiment on the criminal mind.
Carver: They should do tests on how one man can shed so many crocodile tears.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: [after learning that Tagman has been murdered in prison] Well, at least now we all have what we want.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren's nemesis, Nicole Wallace, resurfaces as the brains behind a diamond theft ring]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Nicole Wallace: [reading a plaque on the station wall] "The Greatest Detectives in the World". You have to wonder about people who need such positive reinforcement.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Nicole Wallace: I came here for a truce, Bobby.
Goren: A truce?
Nicole Wallace: Notwithstanding your "unrelenting pursuit of evil".
Goren: Evil, Nicole, is also unrelenting in its pursuits.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Nicole Wallace: [to Eames] We can't all be blessed with eggs ripe and ready for hire. Tell me, detective, did your sister at least let you keep the sonogram to cuddle up with at night?
Eames: [angry but controlled] I see my nephew at least three times a week. Being pregnant was a great experience. Consider yourself robbed.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[A head donated to medical science has a bullet in it, and the trail of investigation leads Goren and Eames to the steam tunnels under the city and a scam involving homeless men being murdered for money.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Harassing an employee at a body donation department of a university to try and get information. Goren starts poking into morgue coolers and opening up containers.]
Goren: Look at that. It's a heart, from a--
[He looks at the label on the container.]
Goren: --Mr. Hoss. It hardly looks used.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Employee: I should talk to an attorney.
Eames: Better make it a good one, with experience in murder cases. That lady's head had a bullet in it.
[Employee gapes. Goren looks at him.]
Goren: Cat got your tongue?
[He points down at one of the containers containing body parts.]
Goren: 'cuz there's an extra one in here.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Body snatcher: Better I take them than leave them for Donald.
Goren: Who's Donald?
Body snatcher: A demon, of course.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Rodgers wheels in a cart containing disassembled body parts.]
Rodgers: Metcalf still had his hands and feet. His head was up in San Francisco. The rest of him is at a research lab in Maui. Some people have all the luck.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Deakins watches Goren toying with a piece of leather, angling it up to the light.]
Deakins: Beaming signals to the mother ship?

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Deakins walks into an office and sees a line of files of victims Goren and Eames have found.]
Deakins: So this is it. The rest of the iceberg.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: They're an interesting couple.
Eames: The killer and Mrs. Magoo.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Dinnertime. I wonder what alibi they're serving.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: The dark ages. Sometimes I think we're still living in them.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[A series of bloody jewelry store robberies teams new Major Case Squad member Mike Logan with his new partner, Carolyn Barek.]

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Logan turns away from harrying another detective to find Barek staring at him.]
Logan: What?
Barek: Relax. You got the job.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Logan and Barek watch a security tape. Barek mumbles to herself.]
Logan: You know, you might want to get a cell phone. That way people won't think you're talking to yourself.
Barek: Been working alone too long.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Barek: [To wife] Was something else stolen that didn't make the report?
Logan: [To husband] Alright, look, pal, this busted look on your face, I've been there. So either she can tell us, or you can save us a step.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Barek: Cherry tomato? They're from my garden.
Logan: What else you grow?
Barek: Cabbage.
Logan: Polish food. I love pierogis. Are your mother's any good?
Barek: Nah. Wasn't her thing. So what did Mrs. Logan make her boy?
Logan: Rum punch. [He smiles to himself. Barek looks inquiring.] Private joke.

TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent