The Dukes of Hazzard Quotes

Bo Duke: This here is Luke, this here is Cindy Ballou.
Cindy: Hi.
Luke Duke: We've already met.
Bo Duke: What?
Cindy: Sorry, but you must be mistaken. I've never seen you before in my life.
Bo Duke: You mind tellin' me what this is all about?
Luke Duke: Sure, couple o' hours ago, miss wide-eyes here was holding up a jewelry store over in Capitol City.

TV Show: The Dukes of Hazzard
Bo Duke: Daisy Duke, if you wasn't my cousin, I'd marry you!
Daisy Duke: Never stopped anybody in this family before.

TV Show: The Dukes of Hazzard
Daisy Duke: [Boss Hogg has just had Bo and Luke arrested] Wait a minute, the governor has something to say.
Governor Jim Applewhite: What do I have to say?
Daisy Duke: You know, about how these boys are environmentalist heroes for stopping the strip mining of Hazzard County and how in return you're going to pardon them for all of their crimes.
Governor Jim Applewhite: Okay, friends, as you know, I've always been a friend of the environment and since these boys just saved this area from being exploited and strip mined, I've decided to pardon them for any and all crimes they have committed in the great state of Georgia.
Uncle Jesse: Wait a minute; I wanna thank you for pardoning me too.
Governor Jim Applewhite: What am I pardoning you for?
Uncle Jesse: For this! [Uncle Jesse slugs Boss Hogg, knocking him out]

TV Show: The Dukes of Hazzard
Sheev: [Bo, luke, and Sheev are about to blow open a safe, but the fuse goes out] Hmm, must be a wet fuse.
Bo Duke: Maybe its backwards.
Sheev: Of course its supposed to be backwards it's a Chinese fuse.
Bo Duke: No, I mean its backwards from the way it's supposed to be.
Sheev: Have you ever been to China? Have you ever been to China?
Bo Duke: I ate Chinese food once.
Sheev: Yea, well you don't blow up Mu Shu Pork my friend

TV Show: The Dukes of Hazzard
The Balladeer: [final narration] So, you see, that's the way it goes in Hazzard. Where the Dukes will even help out their enemy when the chips are down. That's plum typical of the Dukes of Hazzard. Too bad it ain't the same everywhere else, huh?

TV Show: The Dukes of Hazzard
[Mamma Max and Riker are arguing about the Gallium Arsenide ore, that Daisy found]
Mamma Max: Gallium Arsenide ore. She found it, just like we did.
Riker: What, that hick chick?
Mamma Max: Is studying for her DOCTORATE in ECOLOGY, you chauvinist ass! If you went to the beauty parlor, you'd know the local gossip!

TV Show: The Dukes of Hazzard
Just the good ole boys.
Never meanin' no harm.
Beats all you never saw,
Been in trouble with the law,
Since the day they was born.
Straight'nin' the curve,
Flat'nin' the hills.
Someday the mountain might get 'em, but the law never will.
Makin' their way,
The only way they know how,
That's just a little bit more than the law will allow.
Just the good ol' boys,
Wouldn't change if they could,
Fightin' the system like two modern day Robin Hoods.
  • Written and performed by w: Waylon Jennings

TV Show: The Dukes of Hazzard