Law and Order - Criminal Intent Quotes
Ross: How you two making out?
Logan: We're fine. Never had a partner with freckles before.
Ross: 3 years undercover vice, drugs, white collar. No one ever made her.
Logan: I can believe that. She get carded at bars?
Ross: I'll tell you the same thing I told her. Don't jump to conclusions about your new partner. And hey, if it doesn't work out, I can always get you Barek back.
[Logan grimaces.]
Logan: We're fine. Never had a partner with freckles before.
Ross: 3 years undercover vice, drugs, white collar. No one ever made her.
Logan: I can believe that. She get carded at bars?
Ross: I'll tell you the same thing I told her. Don't jump to conclusions about your new partner. And hey, if it doesn't work out, I can always get you Barek back.
[Logan grimaces.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Wheeler discovers a spy camera hidden in the belly of a Buddha statue.]
Logan: Found yourself a Buddhacam.
Logan: Found yourself a Buddhacam.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Talking to the 16 year old son of the dead victim.]
Logan: As long as you're here, maybe you can help us out. We're looking for some of your dad's ... we're looking for, ah... Wheeler?
Wheeler: Do you know where you dad kept his homemade porn tapes?
Logan: As long as you're here, maybe you can help us out. We're looking for some of your dad's ... we're looking for, ah... Wheeler?
Wheeler: Do you know where you dad kept his homemade porn tapes?
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Kent: You know what Mr. Carver's nickname for Major Case was? Major Hunch.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Logan: He thinks he's in love. Can't say as I blame him.
Ross: Let me guess. You don't have kids. I have two boys, 14 and 10. If a teacher ever laid a hand on either one of them, I don't care if that teacher's male or female, I'd break 'em in two.
Logan: Sure, as a parent you would, but how about when you were 16?
Ross: Let me guess. You don't have kids. I have two boys, 14 and 10. If a teacher ever laid a hand on either one of them, I don't care if that teacher's male or female, I'd break 'em in two.
Logan: Sure, as a parent you would, but how about when you were 16?
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Logan: O Canada, where the age of consent is 14.
Wheeler: And you know this because...?
Logan: I'm kind of a Canada buff.
Wheeler: And you know this because...?
Logan: I'm kind of a Canada buff.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Ross: A man marries a model, he's not looking for a soul mate.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Charlie: Screw you.
Logan: I don't know about you, but I don't go that way.
[Charlie punches Logan and a brawl commences.]
Logan: I don't know about you, but I don't go that way.
[Charlie punches Logan and a brawl commences.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[In the hospital, afterwards]
Logan: Hand me my pants, will you?
Wheeler: Logan, I'm really sorry that--
Logan: Wheeler, two things that I don't need right now. Another fight, or an apology.
Logan: Hand me my pants, will you?
Wheeler: Logan, I'm really sorry that--
Logan: Wheeler, two things that I don't need right now. Another fight, or an apology.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Large conference room at One Police Plaza. The camera pans over two file folders, one with Logan's picture pinned to it, one with Wheeler's picture. Logan's file is very very thick. Wheeler's is almost empty. Wheeler is pacing restlessly. Logan is relaxed.]
Logan: Never go on before the commissioner? It's kind of like a departmental hearing, with a few more ribbons.
[Wheeler exhales and pokes at the table. Logan looks at her.]
Logan: Wheeler. Don't tell me you've never had a departmental hearing.
[Wheeler smiles weakly at Logan. The door opens.]
Logan: Never go on before the commissioner? It's kind of like a departmental hearing, with a few more ribbons.
[Wheeler exhales and pokes at the table. Logan looks at her.]
Logan: Wheeler. Don't tell me you've never had a departmental hearing.
[Wheeler smiles weakly at Logan. The door opens.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Logan looks up and finds a suspect perched in a tree.]
Logan: Don't make me climb that tree.
Logan: Don't make me climb that tree.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Wheeler: If he was seeing someone, the nearest donut theory says she lived near the firehouse.
Logan: The what?
Wheeler: Men are lazy. Even if there's a good meal across town, they'll usually just reach for the nearest donut.
Logan: The what?
Wheeler: Men are lazy. Even if there's a good meal across town, they'll usually just reach for the nearest donut.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Ross: "Gay rage." Old-school police term. We don't use it and I don't want to hear it from either of you, but back in the day, that's what everyone called it. "The strength of a man with the hysteria of a woman."
[Logan grins. Ross almost does. Wheeler looks at them.]
Ross: Apologies.
[Logan grins. Ross almost does. Wheeler looks at them.]
Ross: Apologies.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Wheeler: [Reads off the computer] Murdered '94, case cleared two years ago.
Logan: They get a verdict?
Wheeler: No, it's an exceptional clearance. Convict pled out, died last year.
[Ross and Logan look at each other. Wheeler looks between them.]
Wheeler: What?
Logan: They get a verdict?
Wheeler: No, it's an exceptional clearance. Convict pled out, died last year.
[Ross and Logan look at each other. Wheeler looks between them.]
Wheeler: What?
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Ross: Logan, why don't you be his ... old-school buddy.
Logan: Oh yeah, I'm all over this.
Ross: And Wheeler, play young.
Logan: Oh yeah, I'm all over this.
Ross: And Wheeler, play young.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Logan: Looks like they took stuff off the wall just to smash it. 'Give me all your money or I'll bust up your Grammy.'
Wheeler: You'd think they'd take the $4000 microphone.
[Logan looks at her.]
Wheeler: I dated a recording engineer.
Logan: At least he wasn't a drummer.
Wheeler: You'd think they'd take the $4000 microphone.
[Logan looks at her.]
Wheeler: I dated a recording engineer.
Logan: At least he wasn't a drummer.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Logan: Oh, look. Cocaine. In a recording studio. I'm shocked. Shocked.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Logan: You telling me someone killed him with two punches?
Rodgers: Exsanguination.
Logan: I love it when you talk Latin, Rodgers.
Rodgers: Exsanguination.
Logan: I love it when you talk Latin, Rodgers.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Wheeler: You're a glass half empty kind of guy, aren't you?
Logan: Depends what's in it, Wheeler.
Logan: Depends what's in it, Wheeler.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Flaherty: Logan. How come I never see you with the same partner twice?
Logan: Flaherty and I go way back. To one of the first murders in one of his many bars. Been so many, he probably can't keep track.
Flaherty: We're unlucky.
Logan: Kennedys are unlucky.
Flaherty: He tell you about the cop he shot?
Logan: Flaherty and I go way back. To one of the first murders in one of his many bars. Been so many, he probably can't keep track.
Flaherty: We're unlucky.
Logan: Kennedys are unlucky.
Flaherty: He tell you about the cop he shot?
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Discussing a bouncer named Goro.]
Wheeler: He didn't make an explicit threat we can hold him on.
Logan: You heard him, Wheeler. 'Curtis's death shall be avenged.' You don't call that a threat?
Ross: Could be, or could be the plot of one of the Mortal Kombat video games he got his name from.
Wheeler: He didn't make an explicit threat we can hold him on.
Logan: You heard him, Wheeler. 'Curtis's death shall be avenged.' You don't call that a threat?
Ross: Could be, or could be the plot of one of the Mortal Kombat video games he got his name from.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Ross: Detective, what do you want me to do? Have the DA hold him on suspicion of being a large, scary black man?
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Wheeler: You think all white guys who chew tobacco are buddies?
Logan: In Chelsea? Yeah.
Logan: In Chelsea? Yeah.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Discussing a victim whose illness contributed to his death, and whether his mistress knew his weakness.]
Kent: What did the ME say?
Wheeler: Any blow to the spleen would do it.
Kant: He was that sick? And she didn't know about it?
Logan: She knew it. Curtis told her. Guys use whatever they have to get over. They have a tragic story, a sickness -- even if they have a dead cat, they'll work it into their rap.
Wheeler: Heartwarming.
[Logan shrugs.]
Kent: What did the ME say?
Wheeler: Any blow to the spleen would do it.
Kant: He was that sick? And she didn't know about it?
Logan: She knew it. Curtis told her. Guys use whatever they have to get over. They have a tragic story, a sickness -- even if they have a dead cat, they'll work it into their rap.
Wheeler: Heartwarming.
[Logan shrugs.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Ross: [Giving a toast at a family dinner] I know some of you have two Thanksgiving dinners today, so I want to thank everyone for being here. My children, the mother of my children... [Glances sourly at ex-wife's boyfriend] ...Todd.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Mrs. Goren is being wheeled on a gurney down a hospital hallway while Goren attempts to talk about the case on his cell.]
Mrs. Goren: Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. I don't trust these people.
Goren: No, no, look. You've got the head radiation technician coming in to-- she'll give you the test you need--
Mrs. Goren: [interrupting] Oh, please. Head technician? Do you really think they're going to bring in the head person? On, on, on Thanksgiving Day? No. No no. They'd never. They'll get some lackey they can push around.
Mrs. Goren: Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. I don't trust these people.
Goren: No, no, look. You've got the head radiation technician coming in to-- she'll give you the test you need--
Mrs. Goren: [interrupting] Oh, please. Head technician? Do you really think they're going to bring in the head person? On, on, on Thanksgiving Day? No. No no. They'd never. They'll get some lackey they can push around.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: So. Ashton. The women soldiers in Iraq. Treated as equals?
Ashton: Truth is, sir, in Iraq the guys put the female soldiers into two categories. Sluts if they slept around, and bitches if they didn't.
Goren: Amanda. Which category did you put her in?
Ashton: I say this with respect, sir. Amanda was a bitch.
Ashton: Truth is, sir, in Iraq the guys put the female soldiers into two categories. Sluts if they slept around, and bitches if they didn't.
Goren: Amanda. Which category did you put her in?
Ashton: I say this with respect, sir. Amanda was a bitch.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Deputy Commissioner: [To Ross, regarding Goren]This is your top man?
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carlo: Back home in our civvies? I wouldn't tolerate an affair. But when Amanda's in uniform, she's a soldier first.
Eames: And soldiers have sex with each other.
Carlo: It has nothing to do with the real world.
Eames: And soldiers have sex with each other.
Carlo: It has nothing to do with the real world.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent