JAG Quotes

Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Would you be saying this if I were a man?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yes. But if you were a man, you'd have some explaining to do about the way you fill out that uniform.

TV Show: JAG
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Looked more like intimidation.
Gunnery Sgt. Granger: Well, the enemy can be pretty damed intimidating.

TV Show: JAG
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I'm a lawyer, Cortez. No one is ever glad to see me.

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Ambassador Bartlett: Is this vest thick enough, Gunney?
Gunnery Sgt. Granger: Oh, it's top of the line, all-spectra Guardian vest, ma'am. It will stop a 9mm round at point-blank range.
Ambassador Bartlett: What if someone aims at my head?
Gunnery Sgt. Granger: Duck, ma'am.

TV Show: JAG
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Our first priority is the safety of the hostage.
Major Aspinal: My first priority is to bring escaped prisoners under control. For all I know, that hostage is dead!
Lt. Kate Pike: He's right, sir!
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb & Major Aspinal: Who's right?!?!

TV Show: JAG
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You give me one good reason why two of us should be doing this?
Lt. Kate Pike: They might not shoot a woman as quickly as a man.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Ok, you negotiate. (Hands over the white flag, turns to leave.)
Lt. Kate Pike: (stops him) I'm not that big a feminist.

TV Show: JAG
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: You're bleeding to death! (Removes his belt to use as a tourniquet)
Petty Officer Peter Quinn: Lieutenant, we barely know each other.

TV Show: JAG
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: We're looking for a 5 digit code with a 7.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How much time?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: 7 minutes. Funny, huh?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb & Lt. Kate Pike: No!

TV Show: JAG
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Who was right?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: I don't think the wrong one would want you to know that, sir.

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Lt. Dumai: Do you respect no man?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Respect, yes. Fear, no.

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Colonel Ahmad Al-Barzan: How can work compare to the caresses of a man you love?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: I wasn't comparing them, Colonel. You were.
Colonel Ahmad Al-Barzan: A woman like you needs a strong hand.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: I already have a strong hand. My own.

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Lt. Dumai: You think that you are superior to me because men treat you as an equal.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: No. And not all men treat me as an equal. I just don't accept the behavior of those who don't as correct.

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Lt. Dumai: Have you ever heard of Babylon?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Of course. Everyone's heard of ancient Babylon. The Tower, and the Hanging Gardens….
Lt. Dumai: It is 3000 years old and we have other cities even older, and how old is America?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: A little over 200 years.
Lt. Dumai: Your country is like a child who has learned nothing yet thinks it knows everything. Let your civilization survive its first thousand years; then perhaps we'll begin to listen.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Even the young have something of value to offer.
Lt. Dumai: But is it not for the old to decide if they want accept it?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Yes.
Lt. Dumai: Then why do you try so hard to push your ways on me?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Because I can't stand to see anyone denied their human right.

TV Show: JAG
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Are you comparing me to a prostitute?
Corporal David Anderson: Uh, no ma'am, I didn't say that!
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I did! And I meant she was spunky.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: 'Spunky' doesn't cut it, sir.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How about pretty?

TV Show: JAG
Cmdr. Ted Lindsey: That's what I told them. That occasionally circumstances dictate that we have to act beyond the courtroom. Then State wanted to look at your cases for the past few months, and wanted to know if staging jailbreaks in Iraq, flying missions in F-14s, and recovering stolen nuclear weapons qualified as "occasionally."
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, they say the Navy is not just a job, it's an adventure.

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Sergeant Carrington: You must satisfy me, or you will never leave this island. And don't get any bright ideas. Because we have a swamp so deep, it will take you down quicker than your boyfriend.
Private Johnson: My man's out there, ain't no swamp gonna stop me.

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Private Johnson: Next time you screw up, you and I are gonna have a little night visit.
Private Whitley: Leave her alone.
Private Johnson: You want some of me? (Silence) That's what I thought. (to Meg) You straight?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Uh-huh. Are you?

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Sergeant Carrington: A Marine should always be alert. I will demonstrate why. (Pushes Meg into a mud pit)

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Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Staff Sergeant Carrington, I'd like you to meet Lieutenant JG Austin,
Sergeant Carrington: (Surprised look) Ma'am.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: I know it wasn't personal. You were just doing your job.
Sergeant Carrington: Yes ma'am, that's because I thought Private McEntire had a future in the military. I just didn't realize how right I was. Ma'am.

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Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: My four bits.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: I never understood bits.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: It comes from the old Spanish dollar, pieces of eight. Two bits to a quarter, four bits, fifty cents, my fifty cents which is in your pocket.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: I bet you go Dutch on dates.

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Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You expect the spaceships to be lined up along the tarmac?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Very funny.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Seriously. If there was a race advanced enough to travel millions of light-years to Earth, I truly doubt we could catch them, no matter how much we wanted to.

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Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I counted the beams. There are at least five of them out there.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Five what?
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Men. Those are targeting beams.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Targeting beams are red.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, maybe they don't like red
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Or can't see red.

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Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Cathy, did they come in a, uh…
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: You can't even say it. A spaceship.
Cathy Gold: If they did that, they wouldn't be ghosts, they'd be aliens!

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Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How do I write this up, Meg?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: By the book.
Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You really want me to enter that you first thought we were dealing with a UFO full of little green men?
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Shut up and drive. Sir.

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Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: That's a little crazy even for a Marine.
Lt. J.G. Meg Austin: Nothing's too crazy for Marines.

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Captain Overton: That piece of crap will blow your hand off if you pop it, the barrel's full of dirt.
(Tyler goes to check it.)
Captain Overton: Oh, that's smart, look down the barrel of a loaded pistol.

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Reaper: Top Gun and Snowflake have arrived.

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Reaper: 'Be all that you can be.'
(Shoots Tyler's gun, it explodes in his hand.)
Captain Overton: That's the Army slogan, Lefty.

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Tyler Hanson: Call me T.
Gunnery Sergeant Cane: I will call you a lot of names, boy, but it will not be 'T'.

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CPO Ned Bannon: (of carrier aviation) You still miss it don't you, sir?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Only when I'm back onboard. Or see a jet. Shaving in the morning, in my dreams, eating a pizza, watching a movie…

TV Show: JAG