iCarly Quotes

Freddie: Oh my--
Freddie's mom: [sternly] You better end that with gosh.
Freddie: Dear Gosh, please make her leave.

TV Show: iCarly
[while Freddie is removing asparagus from his locker]
Gibby: Hey, Freddie, guess what they're serving in the cafeteria tomorrow?
Freddie: [angrily sarcastic] Oh, is it asparagus? 'Cause that would be so hilarious!
Gibby: No...it's fish sticks. What's your problem? [walks away]
Freddie: Hey...hey, I'm sorry
Gibby: [mad] No, I'M sorry!
[Carly approaches]
Carly: Hi Gibby.
Gibby: Freddie hurt my feelings. [keeps going]

TV Show: iCarly
[after Sam's devised a plan to destroy the Petographers]
Freddie: So, you mean we trash their studio?
Sam: No, Freddie, I mean we rub ourselves with sweet mustard and sing show tunes.

TV Show: iCarly
[while Sam is screaming and punching on the couch because Carly won't enter the beauty pageant]
Spencer: What happened, did we run out of bacon?

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: You know you're gonna give in.
Carly: Not this time. [Sam continues screaming]
Freddie: In five, four, three, two...
Carly: OKAY! I'LL BE IN THE STUPID PAGEANT!
Sam: YAY!!!!!!!

TV Show: iCarly
[Spencer is screaming because Freddie won't go on a double date with him]
Freddie: Spencer, I'm not gonna...
Carly: In five, four, three, two...
Freddie: OKAY!
Spencer: YAY!!!!!!!

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: I look hot.
Carly: I feel violated.

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: [as introduction to the audience] My name is Samantha Puckett, I'm from Seattle, and I love fried chicken!
Carly: [backstage, to a random person] It's true she really does.

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: HEY, I won first place!
Carly: Can you guys pay a little attention to us?
Spencer: NO. We have five hours invested in this game!
Freddie: We are not stopping until we guess what we are!
Sam: (to Spencer) You're cheese.
Carly: (to Freddie) You're a big toe.
Freddie: OH!
Spencer: DANG IT! (Carly and Sam walk away, as he and Freddie put on new cards)
Freddie: AM I A SQUIRREL?!?!?!
Spencer: NOOOOOOOOOOO.

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Holy chiz on a chizzle!
Carly: What?
Sam: Spencer Shay of Seattle died of natural causes last Saturday.
Carly: It doesn't say that! (takes the paper from Sam) ...It says that!
Spencer: (takes the paper) NICE! First they insult my art, and THEN they call me dead! Which incidentally, i'm not!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: What's wrong?
Freddie: Gibby texted me ten times today. (he shows Carly and Sam his PearPhone)
Sam: What'd he text you?
Carly: "I'm going to make you bleed."
Sam: "On Friday."
Carly: "At 3: 02."
Sam: "I love you, Mom."
Carly: "Wait, that last text wasn't for you, it was for my mom." ...Well, that's what you get for macking on his girlfriend!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: (while Veronica sees that Spencer is still alive) Why am I enjoying this?

TV Show: iCarly
(after Gibby and Tasha leave)
Freddie: HOW...does HE get HER?
Sam: There's gotta be something wrong with that chick.
Carly: Oh, come on. Gibby's sweet, and cute, and fun, and-there's gotta be something wrong with that chick!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: (talking very fast) Freddie says "In five four three two", then points at us, then we introduce the show. Then after that we go to that wheel over there and do a bit called "Put that in your man purse", which you don't know about but just play along and you'll figure it out as we go.
Spencer: Why doesn't Freddie say "in five, four, three, two, one"?
Carly: No one knows!
Freddie: I know.
Carly: No one cares! Now hurry, take your jacket and glasses off!
Spencer: But I look so sophisticated.
Carly: This is iCarly! We don't do sophisticated! (slaps Spencer lightly)

TV Show: iCarly
Mrs. Briggs: So...YOU took my bullhorn!
Freddie: No...no! See, Sam was the one who-
Mrs. Briggs: (grabs Freddie, drags him and yells into her bullhorn) COME WITH ME!
Freddie: LOUD!

TV Show: iCarly
Freddie: Do you see anything?
Carly: Just trees. And some bushes... and two squirrels wrestling!
Freddie: ... Carly...
Carly: Yeah?
Freddie: They're not wrestling...
Carly: ... Oh...

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: I don't think a 7-foot beastman is gonna be afraid of a 160-pound spazzy artist.

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: At least the fall made the water come out off my ear... and some blood.

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Ohhhhhhh, it hurts!
Carly: What?
Sam: The sound of him talking!

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: *pulls off Dr. Van Gurbin's Bigfoot mask*
Dr. Van Gurbin: Hey!
Carly: Dr. Van Gurbin?
Freddie: Well, this is a Scooby Doo moment.
Dr. Van Gurbin: I'm so sorry. See, my book wasn't selling well, and my dad always told me I would be a failure.
Sam: Your dad was right.
Freddie: So you dressed up like Bigfoot just to create hype?
Dr. Van Gurbin: Yes. So people would buy my new book *takes out his book*: Bigfoot-
Sam: *smacks the book out off his hands*
Dr. Van Gurbin: I had that coming.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: What are you doing?
Freddie: She's either cooling herself, or eating your frozen pizzas. Probably both.
Carly: [she walks up to the freezer, turns Sam to her and sees a slice of frozen pizza in her mouth] Oh my god! You are eating my frozen pizza!

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: It is a 15-kilowatt liquid propane generator with a 990 cc Pro-Guard 35 horsepower V-V twin engine, yeah I said all that.

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: So what is it i'm supposed to do, which we all know i'm not gonna?

TV Show: iCarly
Sam: Carly, come rub my neck.
Carly: I have to go work on my project.
Sam: Freddie, come rub my neck.
Freddie: Yeah, that'll happen.

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: (after Sabrina accidentally destroys her Utopian society) ...And now, I have angina!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: You promised you'd stop drinking milk in the shower.
Spencer: STOP TRYING TO CHANGE ME!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Aw, you guys didn't have to make a big fuss over my birthday.
Freddie: You want us to leave?
Carly: No! Fuss on!

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: Hey, kiddo. (yawns)
Carly: "Hey kiddo, urrrrrr?" That's all I get on this, most special of days?
Spencer: Is it Yom Kippur already?

TV Show: iCarly
Spencer: It wasn't the worst.
Carly: Yes it was; he took me to a petting zoo.
Spencer: How was I supposed to know the goat would do that?
Carly: Don't talk about what the goat did!

TV Show: iCarly
Carly: Please get a haircut.
Spencer: No! It took me over a year to get it this long and voluminous.
Sam: Makes you look like a girl.
Spencer: Does not!

TV Show: iCarly