Glee Quotes

Brenda Castle: I saw your video (cracking up), and you are an embarrassment. And that's coming from me!

TV Show: Glee
Brittany: I've been here since first period…I had a cold and I took all of my antibiotics at the same time and now, I can't remember how to leave.

TV Show: Glee
[Discussing how to get back at Vocal Adrenaline]
Will: Maybe we should steal their school statue.
Kurt: Their school statue is a giant bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup. It weighs three tons.

TV Show: Glee
Will: Look, I don't like doing this any more than you do. But if I don't find out who made that "Glist" and stop it from being published again, the whole glee club's going down. And I can't let that happen.
Finn: Look, I know I've been kinda angry lately, and sometimes I kick over chairs and stuff, but I didn't do it –
Will: All the pieces fit, Finn. You have a big axe to grind with several people on that "Glist". Quinn broke your heart, Puck betrayed your friendship, you're dealing with Kurt's dad dating your mom, and I happen to know you've had your ups and downs with Santana and Brittany.
Mercedes: I have nothing against Santana. And I like Brittany! Quinn's the one that's got beef with them.
Will: Well, there are an awful lot of Cheerios on that list. Is it true you still feel like an outcast in that group?
Mercedes: I don't know what you're talking about, I like being a Cheerio. And why does everyone assume I'm angry all the time? It's called being sassy, Mr. Schue.
Artie: It's simple math, Mr. Schue; the "Glist" was posted at a height of five and a half feet, comfortably out of my reach; it could not have been me. And, I have it on good word that –
Tina: I saw Puck putting up the "Glist" in the hallway.
Puck: I was moving it! Somebody put it on Rachel's locker, so I moved it. I was being a man, doing the right thing.
Will: Puck, at some point the lies are gonna stop and you're gonna start to sing!
Puck: If I did it, why would I put myself at number three? As far as badasses go, I'm number one! I'll say it again – I didn't do it!
Brittany: I don't know how to turn on a computer.
Quinn: Rachel did it. Think about it, I stole the guy she was in love with, then I stole the guy she dated to get over the guy she was in love with, and I'm kind of a bitch to her.
Will:

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Rachel: OK, Why don't we all take a moment to absorb what we've just watched.
Finn: This is garbage!
Will: Finn!
Puck: No, he's right. First of all, I need to trust my instincts more, because I had a feeling when we were shooting it that it was not going to be good.
Jesse: Why didn't you tell me they were in this, too? I thought you and I were going out! Being triple-cast with two other guys to play opposite your girlfriend - it's mortifying.
Rachel: It was an artistic statement.
Finn: No it wasn't! It was you trying to look like you had a bunch of guys fighting over you, so you could stop looking like some kind of outcast and be seen as some hot, slutty girl singer! (He walks up to her) How could you do this to me? To all us guys? Is your reputation more important than all your relationships? (Finn walks out, followed by Jesse)
Rachel: Jesse, wait!

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Rachel: Hi. Are you still mad at me?
Jesse: Y'know, before I came here so you could be my girlfriend, I asked around about you.
Rachel: What did people say?
Jesse: Well, most people didn't know who you were. The ones that did said that you sneaky hot but that quality was cancelled because of the need to be right. Even so, everyone said you were trustworthy.
Rachel: I still am. I don't know what it is but I have a pathological need to be popular, and sometimes that desire is so great, that it overpowers everything else. As a fellow star in the making, I thought you might understand.
Jesse: On that level, I do. But I can't be with someone who would lie to me.
Rachel: I knew you'd break my heart.
Jesse: Funny. Everyone thinks I'm the big heartbreaker, but the truth is...(whispering) you broke mine first. Oh and if we're on the same bar in ballet, just do your pirhouettes and plies in silence. Don't talk to me. (Jesse walks off)

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Quinn: A bad reputation is better than no reputation at all.

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Quinn: You're a really good teacher, Mr. Schue. Even if everyone is calling you a man-whore.

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Brittany: [seeing Puck without his mohawk for the first time] Who is that guy?

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Jacob: You're like a toddler with a loose lid on his sippy cup. No more juice. Get ready for payback, Puckerman.

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Puck: I'm human garbage. I should just lie here until the truck comes and let it crush me to death. What's the point of living when I suck so bad?

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Puck: Get ready, black girl from Glee Club whose name I can't remember right now; the Puckster is about to make you his.

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Puck: I feel like that guy who lost all his hair and then lost all his strength.
Santana: Samson?
Puck: Agassi.

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Doctor: Rachel, I'm afraid you'll never sing again.
[Rachel gasps]
Doctor: Just kidding.

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Finn: [to Rachel about Jesse] When are you going to realize, that he's not into you like I am.

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Santana: What difference does it make? Everyone knows my role here is to look hot.

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Rachel: I am like Tinker Bell, Finn; I need applause to live.

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Puck: Since I shaved my mohawk, I started seeing things differently. Last week, I joined a black church. And I recently downloaded every song Sammy Davis Junior ever recorded on iTunes; he was a black Jew, you know. And my inspiration.

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Kurt: What do boys taste like?
Brittany: Usually dip…sometimes, it tastes like burgers. Or my armpits – kissing my armpits is a really big turn-on for me.

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Santana: Enjoy it while you can, Weezy. His hair's starting to grow back.

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Finn: I can't believe you narced on us!

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Quinn: My baby hormones are making me moody.

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Quinn: I screwed up by letting Puck get me pregnant. He's an idiot and his mother won't let me eat bacon.

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Kurt: I'm not a box. There are more then four sides to me.

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Brittany: [to Kurt] So you're pretty much the only guy in this school that I haven't made out with yet, because I thought you were capitol G Gay, but now that you're not, having a perfect record would mean a lot to me. So, let me know if you want to tap this.

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Brittany: [when asked why she wasn't singing] There are so many lyrics!

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Burt: And if things get serious, use protection.
Brittany: Does he mean like a burglar alarm?

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Brittany: Now I know what it's like to date a baby!

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Puck: I mean, it’s just a mohawk, right? I’m still Pucksaurus.
Santana: Actually, I don’t know if it’s the missing mohawk or the whining, but I’m totally not turned on by you right now.

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: I came in first place.
Jesse: You were eight months old.
Rachel: I was very musically verbal.

TV Show: Glee