Glee Quotes

Kurt: I'm so depressed, I wore the same outfit twice this week.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: [Writing in her journal] Dear Journal, something strange happened yesterday. I felt something below the neck. Dare I admit it? I have feelings for one Will Schuester. Sexy, non-murdering feelings. True love always springs from true hate. I'll admit in the past I've fantasized about waking up with Will's head on the pillow next to me, except now I picture it attached to the rest of his body.

TV Show: Glee
Puck: [In voiceover] Everyone knows this is going to come down to me. Revenge, fear, the merciless infliction of pain-these are my kingdoms. First time I gave a wedgie to a kid, I was four years old. Finn and I may still hate each other for some reason, but we both know that defending the honor of New Directions is going to be our dirty job.

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: [As Jesse stands in front of her with an egg in his hand] Do it. Break it like you broke my heart.
Jesse: I loved you [breaks the egg in Rachel's hair].

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Now I just keep having nightmares of all of the mother's of the little baby chicks coming at me for revenge.

TV Show: Glee
Will: Hey, what's going on?
Finn: We're on our way to go all Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline.
Will: Guys, violence is never the answer.
Puck: It is when the question is, "What's the best way to mess up that Jesse kid's face?"
Kurt: Mr. Schue, Rachel is one of us. We're the only ones who get to humiliate her.
Will: Stop! Get back here and sit down! Look, I know from experience that making someone else suffer doesn't make your pain go away. You're all amazing, no matter what Vocal Adrenaline says or does. We just need to find a way to remind ourselves of that.
Finn: We can't just let Vocal Adrenaline get away with turning Rachel into an omelette.
Will: We're not. Rachel, dial Jesse's number on your phone.
Santana: You still have his number?
Will: Jesse St. James? Will Schuester here. You and Vocal Adrenaline need to meet at our auditorium Friday, 3: 00 sharp. [hangs up]

TV Show: Glee
Will: Look, nobody got hurt, it was a harmless prank.
Sue: That's what they said about a boy in Chicago, in 1871, who thought he'd play a harmless prank on the dairy cow of one Mrs. O'Leary. He successfully ignited its flatulence and a city burned, William. That terrorist went on to become the first gay President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln.

TV Show: Glee
[After the performance of "Give Up the Funk" by New Directions]
Puck: See you punks at Regionals. [He leaves the stage.]
Jesse: [Shocked] They did a funk number. [To Giselle who's sitting next to him] We've never been able to pull off a funk number.
Giselle: Well, that's because we're soulless automatons.
Jesse: I'm so depressed.

TV Show: Glee
Terri: I have compulsive need to crush other people's dreams.
Finn: Yeah, that's what Mr. Schue said.

TV Show: Glee
Quinn: Thinking 'trust me' was a sensible birth control option.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: [to Will] I’m having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today because your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about living on the bayou!

TV Show: Glee
Quinn: I'm the president of the celibacy club. I took a vow.
Puck: So did Santana and Brittany. And I did them.

TV Show: Glee
Will: Thank you for coming to the first annual New Directions' Regionals nominations party.
Artie: What's the point, Mr. Schue? Coach Sylvester's one of the judges. She's going to crush us.
Will: Artie, you don't know that.
Santana: Yes, we do, she told us at Cheerios practice.
Brittany: Yeah, she said, "I'm going to crush Glee Club".
Puck: A whole freaking year. All that hard work for nothing.
Tina: [Crying] I'm sorry. I just really love you guys. You know how many Facebook friends I had before I joined Glee Club? Two. My parents. Rachel was right. Being a part of something special-it made me special. I just can't believe it's going to be over in a week.
Finn: Wait, who says it's going to be over?
Mercedes: Please. You think Puck and Santana are going to even acknowledge my existence once we're not in Glee Club together anymore?
Puck: She has a point.
Rachel: Mr. Schuester? Do you think instead of nominating songs, we can just...all go around the room and talk about things we loved about Glee Club this year? [has tears going down her face]

TV Show: Glee
Will: [to Emma] It took everything I had not to cry. It's like they've all walked a thousand miles just to get punched in the stomach.

TV Show: Glee
Finn: [To Rachel] Hey! We need to talk. We had a chance of getting things back together at Mr. Schue's until you bailed. You're our leader, Rachel. I mean, the way you're on at everyone all the time is annoying, but it's also what keeps the club motivated. You and I are going to fix this. We are going to Regionals and we're going to win this thing.
[Rachel kisses Finn, and smiles.]

TV Show: Glee
Will: Life only really has one beginning and one end, and the rest is just a whole lot of middle.

TV Show: Glee
Will: Who cares what happens when we get there, when the getting-there has been so much fun?

TV Show: Glee
Puck: Life's just a bunch of experiences, you know? You don't get a medal at the finish line for being good. You just get dead.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: [Announcing] From Fort Wayne, Indiana, the not-at-all stupidly named, Aural Intensity!

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Break a leg.
Finn: I love you.

TV Show: Glee
Finn: That was awesome!
Tina: I think we got second place in the bag!
Rachel: Screw that! We're gonna win this!

TV Show: Glee
Quinn: [to Puck, while giving birth] It's never coming out! You suck! You suck! You suck!

TV Show: Glee
Olivia Newton-John: Brunettes have no place in show business.

TV Show: Glee
Artie: We didn't even place.

TV Show: Glee
Rachel: [to Will] So, we have something we need to say to you.
Matt: In the beginning of this year I was just another football player.
Tina: I had a stutter.
Mercedes: I was a closeted diva.
Quinn: I used to be captain of the Cheerios.
Mike: I was afraid to dance outside my room.
Santana: I hated everyone in this club.
Brittany: So did I.
Kurt: I wasn't honest about who I was.
Puck: I was tossing guys into dumpsters.
Artie: I had never kissed a girl before
Rachel: And I was getting slushied.
Finn: I didn't—I didn't have a father. Someone I could look up to. Model myself after. Someone who could show me what it really meant to be a man.
Rachel: We don't care what the judges say. We won. Because we had you as a teacher.
Mercedes: And Glee Club will never end, Mr. Schue, because you are Glee Club. And you're in all of us now.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: Glee Club stays for another year. I get what I want. Don't you get how sexual blackmail works?

TV Show: Glee
Sue: I realize my cultural ascendance only serves to illuminate your own banality. But face it, I'm legend. It's happened.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: [to Will] I spent large segments of each day picturing you choking on food, and I recently contacted an exotic animal dealer because I had a very satisfying dream that I once shoved your face into one of those pink-inflamed monkey butts that weep lymph.

TV Show: Glee
Sue: Make sure you use hand sanitizer; I've seen that car you drive. I don't want to catch poor.

TV Show: Glee
Will: Inside, you're a really good person. I appreciate what you're doing for these kids. I won't forget it.
Sue: I'm seriously gonna puke in your mouth.

TV Show: Glee