Designing Women Quotes
Caller: My children attend school here in Atlanta, and I do not appreciate Commissioner Brickett's lack of support for our extra curricular fine arts programs like dance and ballet.
Brickett: Listen. When the petticoat sports can attract a gate that pays for itself like basketball and football, then I'll get excited. Anyway, I think we should spend less time worrying about the screwball curriculums and get back to the basic three R's.
Julia: Screwball curriculums?! Petticoat sports?! I bet you think Refrigerator Perry is a better athlete than Mikhail Baryshnikov! I mean, I don't know what kind of an ignoramus...
Anthony: (clears his throat)... ahem!!
Julia: (immediately turning to the camera and smiling) I strongly support a more expanded program of liberal arts in the public schools and would do my best to encourage funding.
Brickett: Listen. When the petticoat sports can attract a gate that pays for itself like basketball and football, then I'll get excited. Anyway, I think we should spend less time worrying about the screwball curriculums and get back to the basic three R's.
Julia: Screwball curriculums?! Petticoat sports?! I bet you think Refrigerator Perry is a better athlete than Mikhail Baryshnikov! I mean, I don't know what kind of an ignoramus...
Anthony: (clears his throat)... ahem!!
Julia: (immediately turning to the camera and smiling) I strongly support a more expanded program of liberal arts in the public schools and would do my best to encourage funding.
TV Show: Designing Women
Brickett: And all I can say is Amen to this wonderful caller, because I too would like to hear the Pledge of Allegiance recited in our classrooms again. By the way, you may be interested to know that flag sales in this country are at an all-time high.
Julia: I think the Pledge of Allegiance is wonderful, and so is the flag. You know, it's not an official American document. It was taken from a children's magazine.
Newscaster: Yes, but should reciting it be mandatory?
Julia: No, it should be a privilege.
Julia: I think the Pledge of Allegiance is wonderful, and so is the flag. You know, it's not an official American document. It was taken from a children's magazine.
Newscaster: Yes, but should reciting it be mandatory?
Julia: No, it should be a privilege.
TV Show: Designing Women
[The ladies discuss breast size, making reference to Suzanne.]
Julia: Suzanne's had those as long as I can remember. She was born with them. Mother and Daddy and I used to sit around and just stare at them. It's just the spin of the ole' genetic wheel. I think I've been amply compensated.
Charlene: What's that mean?
Mary Jo: It means Suzanne got the boobs, and she (pointing to Julia) got the brains.
Suzanne: I don't think I like the turn this conversation has taken.
Mary Jo: Oh, c'mon... big boobs/tiny brains... it's a story as old as the hills — I didn't write it.
Charlene: Mary Jo!!! I cannot believe you would even repeat that!!
Mary Jo: Oh, I'm just kidding. It's just the Littlest Angel's way of kind of evening the score.
Suzanne: What's this "Littlest Angel" stuff anyway?
Mary Jo: It's the name of a training bra, Suzanne. I'm sure you wouldn't know anything about that.
Suzanne: A training bra... you little people have to train yours, and you call us dumb.....
Julia: Suzanne's had those as long as I can remember. She was born with them. Mother and Daddy and I used to sit around and just stare at them. It's just the spin of the ole' genetic wheel. I think I've been amply compensated.
Charlene: What's that mean?
Mary Jo: It means Suzanne got the boobs, and she (pointing to Julia) got the brains.
Suzanne: I don't think I like the turn this conversation has taken.
Mary Jo: Oh, c'mon... big boobs/tiny brains... it's a story as old as the hills — I didn't write it.
Charlene: Mary Jo!!! I cannot believe you would even repeat that!!
Mary Jo: Oh, I'm just kidding. It's just the Littlest Angel's way of kind of evening the score.
Suzanne: What's this "Littlest Angel" stuff anyway?
Mary Jo: It's the name of a training bra, Suzanne. I'm sure you wouldn't know anything about that.
Suzanne: A training bra... you little people have to train yours, and you call us dumb.....
TV Show: Designing Women
Julia: I hate to brag, but I've turned a few heads in my time.
Mary Jo: Well ya didn't do it with those(gestures toward Julia's chest).
Mary Jo: Well ya didn't do it with those(gestures toward Julia's chest).
TV Show: Designing Women
[As the debate continues, Julia's impatience begins to show, and she shows signs that she is about to blow!]
Caller: ... and I just don't think I could vote for someone like Mrs. Sugarbaker who is so obviously against school prayer.
Julia: Let me say once again, that I am not against prayer.
Brickett: These people are never against prayer, per say. They're what I call 14% Christian. They go to church one day and week and spend the next six trying to keep morals and decent values out of our schools and government ---- the very two institutions who should be instilling these things into our young people to begin with. Well, I say there's a reason we call it "One nation under God, indivisible" ... maybe Mrs. Sugarbaker has just forgotten what that phrase was all about.
Julia: (irritated) No, Mr. Brickett. I have not forgotten. I was just thinking that you seem to have forgotten the phrase "Separation of church and state", but the one thing I did forget was just how divisive, dishonest, and distasteful someone like you can be. I've sat here today and listened to you pander to these people, but you don't actually care about them, or you wouldn't be sitting here reinforcing their ignorance and prejudices.
Brickett: You heard that, Caller. She just called you ignorant and prejudiced!
Julia: (angrily) I do not think everyone in America is ignorant! Far from it!! But we are today, probably, the most uneducated, under read, and illiterate nation in the western hemisphere. Which makes it all the more puzzling to me why the biggest question on your small mind is whether or not little Johnny is gonna recite the Pledge of Allegiance every morning! I'll tell you something else, Mr. Brickett. I have had it up to here with you and your phony issues and your Yanky Doodle yakking! If you like reciting the Pledge of Allegiance everyday then I think you should do it! In the car! In the showe
Caller: ... and I just don't think I could vote for someone like Mrs. Sugarbaker who is so obviously against school prayer.
Julia: Let me say once again, that I am not against prayer.
Brickett: These people are never against prayer, per say. They're what I call 14% Christian. They go to church one day and week and spend the next six trying to keep morals and decent values out of our schools and government ---- the very two institutions who should be instilling these things into our young people to begin with. Well, I say there's a reason we call it "One nation under God, indivisible" ... maybe Mrs. Sugarbaker has just forgotten what that phrase was all about.
Julia: (irritated) No, Mr. Brickett. I have not forgotten. I was just thinking that you seem to have forgotten the phrase "Separation of church and state", but the one thing I did forget was just how divisive, dishonest, and distasteful someone like you can be. I've sat here today and listened to you pander to these people, but you don't actually care about them, or you wouldn't be sitting here reinforcing their ignorance and prejudices.
Brickett: You heard that, Caller. She just called you ignorant and prejudiced!
Julia: (angrily) I do not think everyone in America is ignorant! Far from it!! But we are today, probably, the most uneducated, under read, and illiterate nation in the western hemisphere. Which makes it all the more puzzling to me why the biggest question on your small mind is whether or not little Johnny is gonna recite the Pledge of Allegiance every morning! I'll tell you something else, Mr. Brickett. I have had it up to here with you and your phony issues and your Yanky Doodle yakking! If you like reciting the Pledge of Allegiance everyday then I think you should do it! In the car! In the showe
TV Show: Designing Women
Julia: Mary Jo, I have never seen one person eat so much in all my life. I mean, the inside of this car looks like we're on some kind of a pig tour.
Mary Jo: Can you believe it? I mean, who would have thought — homemade food in a gas station? I mean, is that just in the South or what? I mean, now you can go in get your tires checked, buy some birth control in the bathroom and have a little turkey and dressing on the way out.
Mary Jo: Can you believe it? I mean, who would have thought — homemade food in a gas station? I mean, is that just in the South or what? I mean, now you can go in get your tires checked, buy some birth control in the bathroom and have a little turkey and dressing on the way out.
TV Show: Designing Women
Charlene: Julia, what did he say to you?
Julia: Charlene, why do you always want to know these things?
Charlene: Oh I'm just curious. Come on, we all told.
Julia: All right Charlene, if you must know he said, "Mmm-mmm. Lookin' good. I want it. I need it. Got to-got to-have it-now."
Julia: Charlene, why do you always want to know these things?
Charlene: Oh I'm just curious. Come on, we all told.
Julia: All right Charlene, if you must know he said, "Mmm-mmm. Lookin' good. I want it. I need it. Got to-got to-have it-now."
TV Show: Designing Women
[Charlene tells Suzanne how Bill never had any women in his life except her and his childhood sweetheart. She responds: ]
Suzanne: My third husband, J. Benton Stonecipher never dated anyone but me. Of course in my case he never wondered if anyone could possibly be any better because of course that would be absurd. But now for me it was just no fun... I mean... I like to hear about how other women fall short.
Suzanne: My third husband, J. Benton Stonecipher never dated anyone but me. Of course in my case he never wondered if anyone could possibly be any better because of course that would be absurd. But now for me it was just no fun... I mean... I like to hear about how other women fall short.
TV Show: Designing Women
[Suzanne tries to get a date for Charlene to make Bill jealous.]
Suzanne: Hello Randy? Suzanne Sugarbaker. Listen, Randy.....Good news.... I found ya a date. Yes I know everyone's tried to help. I bet ya had given up. Well anyway I have somebody. I'll call you later tonight with details. Oh Randy, what movie star are you going as? Mickey Rooney..... uh-huh, very good choice.
Suzanne: Hello Randy? Suzanne Sugarbaker. Listen, Randy.....Good news.... I found ya a date. Yes I know everyone's tried to help. I bet ya had given up. Well anyway I have somebody. I'll call you later tonight with details. Oh Randy, what movie star are you going as? Mickey Rooney..... uh-huh, very good choice.
TV Show: Designing Women
Julia: Suzanne and I once had a mutual friend named Robert. He was having marital difficulties. Suzanne became his coach. After a few months he became....Roberta.
TV Show: Designing Women
Anthony: Excuse me, ladies. I know it's none of my business, but there are two little old vietnamese ladies laying in your driveway.
Suzanne: Oh, they been there all morning. Y'know, they look frail, but when I pulled my Mercedes in at 30 miles an hour, they hopped up right quick.
Suzanne: Oh, they been there all morning. Y'know, they look frail, but when I pulled my Mercedes in at 30 miles an hour, they hopped up right quick.
TV Show: Designing Women
Julia: I myself have been distinctly pro-labor all my life . . . except for a brief period this morning when a cabbage hit my windshield.
TV Show: Designing Women
Suzanne: Well, did you all hear what she said about that flushing? I mean they don't even have port-a-potties. Now I'm serious you all, I think we should just rethink this.
Wilderness Leader Connie: Five minutes, busses are rolling.
Julia: Suzanne!! Bernice has put out twelve hundred, non-refundable dollars. We have all just sat through a four-hour lecture. Now I don't want to go any more than you do, but I'm telling you, I have rolled my sleeping bag, I have backed my pack and I have filled my canteen.
Suzanne: So what are you saying?
Julia: I'm saying, "Get on the bus, Gus."
Wilderness Leader Connie: Five minutes, busses are rolling.
Julia: Suzanne!! Bernice has put out twelve hundred, non-refundable dollars. We have all just sat through a four-hour lecture. Now I don't want to go any more than you do, but I'm telling you, I have rolled my sleeping bag, I have backed my pack and I have filled my canteen.
Suzanne: So what are you saying?
Julia: I'm saying, "Get on the bus, Gus."
TV Show: Designing Women
[Anthony gets caught helping the ladies and pretends to be a woman camper.]
Connie: What's this camper's name?
Anthony: (in a high-pitched voice) Cindy.
Connie: Cindy what?
Anthony: Cindy Birdsong.
Connie: Birdsong — I don't remember that name.(to other leader) Check your list.
Anthony: I was late. I got on the bus at the last minute.
Connie: Who let you on?
Anthony: I don't know. Some white girl.
Connie: Where's your application?
Anthony: I turned it in.
Connie: To who?
Anthony: Some white girl.
Connie: What's this camper's name?
Anthony: (in a high-pitched voice) Cindy.
Connie: Cindy what?
Anthony: Cindy Birdsong.
Connie: Birdsong — I don't remember that name.(to other leader) Check your list.
Anthony: I was late. I got on the bus at the last minute.
Connie: Who let you on?
Anthony: I don't know. Some white girl.
Connie: Where's your application?
Anthony: I turned it in.
Connie: To who?
Anthony: Some white girl.
TV Show: Designing Women
[Suzanne enters, obviously distraught.]
Suzanne: [(whimpers)]
Julia: Something wrong, Suzanne?
Suzanne: Yes, something is wrong. I'm driving down the street this morning, the sun is shining, I'm young, I'm beautiful. I look in the rearview mirror and what do I see? There is a hair growing out of my chin. I mean, have you ever in all your life? I simply could not believe my eyes. Here I am, hardly 30 years old, and there's this hair sticking out right here. It's unbelievable. Obviously, I'm being punished for some heinous sin, like telling Kyle Westheimer's parents that he is, in fact, a bisexual. But all I know is, whatever it is, I did not merit this.
Mary Jo: You told some guy's parents that he's a bisexual?
Suzanne: That's right. I always tell the parents. And I'm not sorry either. I don't believe in bisexuals. I figure the rest of us have to choose, so why shouldn't they?
Suzanne: [(whimpers)]
Julia: Something wrong, Suzanne?
Suzanne: Yes, something is wrong. I'm driving down the street this morning, the sun is shining, I'm young, I'm beautiful. I look in the rearview mirror and what do I see? There is a hair growing out of my chin. I mean, have you ever in all your life? I simply could not believe my eyes. Here I am, hardly 30 years old, and there's this hair sticking out right here. It's unbelievable. Obviously, I'm being punished for some heinous sin, like telling Kyle Westheimer's parents that he is, in fact, a bisexual. But all I know is, whatever it is, I did not merit this.
Mary Jo: You told some guy's parents that he's a bisexual?
Suzanne: That's right. I always tell the parents. And I'm not sorry either. I don't believe in bisexuals. I figure the rest of us have to choose, so why shouldn't they?
TV Show: Designing Women
Suzanne: (leaning her chin in toward Julia) Julia, do you see anything else there?
Julia: No, Suzanne, I don't.
Suzanne: Good. Cause if I get another one, I'm just gonna have to get a gun and shoot myself through the head.
Mary Jo: Why don't you shoot yourself in the chin? Maybe that way you'll hit the root.
Suzanne: I'm glad you all find this so amusing.
Charlene: Oh c'mon, Suzanne. Don't you think you're being just a little bit shallow?
Suzanne: No, I do not Charlene. I don't think it is shallow not to want to go through life wearing a goatee.
Julia: No, Suzanne, I don't.
Suzanne: Good. Cause if I get another one, I'm just gonna have to get a gun and shoot myself through the head.
Mary Jo: Why don't you shoot yourself in the chin? Maybe that way you'll hit the root.
Suzanne: I'm glad you all find this so amusing.
Charlene: Oh c'mon, Suzanne. Don't you think you're being just a little bit shallow?
Suzanne: No, I do not Charlene. I don't think it is shallow not to want to go through life wearing a goatee.
TV Show: Designing Women
[Anthony is going over spelling words with Tyone.]
Anthony: Cantaloupe.
Suzanne: C-A-N-T-A-L-O-U-P-E
Anthony: That's very good, Suzanne.
Suzanne: (beaming) I eat it all the time.
Anthony: Cantaloupe.
Suzanne: C-A-N-T-A-L-O-U-P-E
Anthony: That's very good, Suzanne.
Suzanne: (beaming) I eat it all the time.
TV Show: Designing Women
[Julia accompanies Anthony to juvenile hall to give Tyrone some tough love after his "little brother" gets arrested]
Anthony: I want to know what you're gonna do to compensate Julia and all the others to whom you've brought pain and sorrow.
Tyrone: I guess I don't know yet.
Anthony: Well, you're gonna have plenty of time to think about it. This is your third offense, and they're gonna throw the book at you this time.
Tyrone: I know. I don't even know why I did it.
Anthony: You just wanted to screw up because that's what everybody expects of you. Well I'm gonna surprise you, Tyrone. I'm gonna wait around here for you to get out. I'm gonna come to visit you every week. I'm gonna check on you. I'm gonna hound you like a dog. And when you do get out of here, I'm gonna expect to see something a whole lot better than what I'm looking at now.
Tyrone: You are?
Anthony: Oh, you're damn right.
Tyrone: I can't believe you came. My own sister didn't even come.
Anthony: So what, Tyrone. You think that you're the only kid in the world whose family doesn't care about him? Well let me tell you something. I grew up in a neighborhood where people put cigarettes out on your head. I never met my father, and my mother was an addict who left me behind when I was two weeks old — I didn't see her again 'til I was nine. Then she wrote and said she was coming. One day she showed up at school after I had told everybody how beautiful my mama was and how she was coming just to see me. You know what she did, Tyrone? She got out of her car. She walked across the playground and picked up some other kid and hugged him and starting crying and calling him by my name. She did that right in front of everybody. I was her son and she didn't even know me. So you see... I've been where you are right now. And if it hadn't been for that one person, my grandmama, loving
Anthony: I want to know what you're gonna do to compensate Julia and all the others to whom you've brought pain and sorrow.
Tyrone: I guess I don't know yet.
Anthony: Well, you're gonna have plenty of time to think about it. This is your third offense, and they're gonna throw the book at you this time.
Tyrone: I know. I don't even know why I did it.
Anthony: You just wanted to screw up because that's what everybody expects of you. Well I'm gonna surprise you, Tyrone. I'm gonna wait around here for you to get out. I'm gonna come to visit you every week. I'm gonna check on you. I'm gonna hound you like a dog. And when you do get out of here, I'm gonna expect to see something a whole lot better than what I'm looking at now.
Tyrone: You are?
Anthony: Oh, you're damn right.
Tyrone: I can't believe you came. My own sister didn't even come.
Anthony: So what, Tyrone. You think that you're the only kid in the world whose family doesn't care about him? Well let me tell you something. I grew up in a neighborhood where people put cigarettes out on your head. I never met my father, and my mother was an addict who left me behind when I was two weeks old — I didn't see her again 'til I was nine. Then she wrote and said she was coming. One day she showed up at school after I had told everybody how beautiful my mama was and how she was coming just to see me. You know what she did, Tyrone? She got out of her car. She walked across the playground and picked up some other kid and hugged him and starting crying and calling him by my name. She did that right in front of everybody. I was her son and she didn't even know me. So you see... I've been where you are right now. And if it hadn't been for that one person, my grandmama, loving
TV Show: Designing Women
[Suzanne is forced to drag the luggage in for her spoiled niece, Jennifer — who is just like her.]
Suzanne: Well, I'll go out to the car and get the rest later.
Jennifer: Thanks, Aunt Suzanne... You know I'm sorry I can't help, but this pinched nerve is just giving me fits.
Suzanne: Oh, that's alright. I usually have a pinched nerve myself, I just forgot to mention it before you did.
Suzanne: Well, I'll go out to the car and get the rest later.
Jennifer: Thanks, Aunt Suzanne... You know I'm sorry I can't help, but this pinched nerve is just giving me fits.
Suzanne: Oh, that's alright. I usually have a pinched nerve myself, I just forgot to mention it before you did.
TV Show: Designing Women
[Anthony returns from measuring for carpet at a nudist colony.]
Anthony: Let me tell y'all. If you thought it was tough going standing up, you should try it at knee level — talk about trying to keep your eyes on one place. By the way, they want you to replace those burlap bar stools — it seems a couple of people got rope burn.
Anthony: Let me tell y'all. If you thought it was tough going standing up, you should try it at knee level — talk about trying to keep your eyes on one place. By the way, they want you to replace those burlap bar stools — it seems a couple of people got rope burn.
TV Show: Designing Women
[Anthony prepares to take Julia and Suzanne's nieces — who are just like them — to the airport.]
Jennifer: Anthony, do you suppose we could stop at a drug store on the way? I need to get some blush-on with some little sparkly stuff in it.
Camilla: We are NOT stopping. If you want red cheeks, why don't I just slap them for you?
Jennifer: Anthony, do you suppose we could stop at a drug store on the way? I need to get some blush-on with some little sparkly stuff in it.
Camilla: We are NOT stopping. If you want red cheeks, why don't I just slap them for you?
TV Show: Designing Women
Julia: They've got a hold of Charlene and they're not letting go. This is not a business organization, it's some kind of cult. Some kind of perky cult. Let's face it. Charlene's been kidnapped by the Junies.
TV Show: Designing Women
Suzanne: No offense, Julia, but if this Libby person is as bad as you say, you are way out of your league. I know these kind of women. They'll kiss you and call you honey and slop sugar all over you while all the time they're just thinking about themselves. I mean, that terminator stuff doesn't work with them. You gotta fight sugar with sugar. They'll find that's a job for professionals.
TV Show: Designing Women
Mary Jo: We've been here 15 minutes and they've given out about 50 awards — I've got a spooky feeling I might win one.
TV Show: Designing Women
Julia: No, Suzanne, we do not think that is silly. The idea of a nice college homecoming queen ceremony, where you yourself would be rooting for a 30 year old black man, seems not only logical, but very dignified.
TV Show: Designing Women
[Suzanne says she doesn't want to date a blind man.]
Charlene: We're talkin' about a millionaire who spends his weekends with under-privileged kids. I mean, we're talkin' about a Phi Beta Kappa from Vanderbilt who still knows why Hee-Haw is funny. I mean, men like that are just not walking the streets.
Suzanne: Well, that's good. Because men like that would be bumping into each other.
Charlene: We're talkin' about a millionaire who spends his weekends with under-privileged kids. I mean, we're talkin' about a Phi Beta Kappa from Vanderbilt who still knows why Hee-Haw is funny. I mean, men like that are just not walking the streets.
Suzanne: Well, that's good. Because men like that would be bumping into each other.
TV Show: Designing Women
Suzanne: Oh, it was just one of Charlene's brothers again. What's his name there? Odell. He's probably just wanting to catch her up on the hillbilly news, like they got 'em a new scarecrow or something like that.
Julia: You know, Suzanne, I don't like that word "hillbilly." Just because Charlene comes from a big family and they live on a farm, doesn't mean they sit around like Mammy and Pappy Yokum, smokin' corn cob pipes and drinkin' moonshine.
Suzanne: Well, I'm sorry Julia, but I don't think it's in good taste to have that many children. Unless of course, you're Mormon.
Julia: What does that have to do with it?
Suzanne: I don't know, they just seem to handle it better. They form those singin' groups, stuff like that.
Julia: You know, Suzanne, I don't like that word "hillbilly." Just because Charlene comes from a big family and they live on a farm, doesn't mean they sit around like Mammy and Pappy Yokum, smokin' corn cob pipes and drinkin' moonshine.
Suzanne: Well, I'm sorry Julia, but I don't think it's in good taste to have that many children. Unless of course, you're Mormon.
Julia: What does that have to do with it?
Suzanne: I don't know, they just seem to handle it better. They form those singin' groups, stuff like that.
TV Show: Designing Women
Suzanne: Oh, for Pete's sake. Every time you two get a little cranky, you start going on these man bashing jags, you know? "Men are the cause of all trouble in the world. Men invented high heels and cheap panty hose." I bet you next thing you know, you'll be accusing them of that whatchamacallit, that PMS envy.
Mary Jo: PMS envy? I swear, somebody from the Geraldo Rivera show ought to follow you around with a tape recorder.
Mary Jo: PMS envy? I swear, somebody from the Geraldo Rivera show ought to follow you around with a tape recorder.
TV Show: Designing Women
[Discussing Charlene's little brother: ]
Suzanne: Let me get this straight. He's never had a girlfriend, he knits sweaters and he works at the beauty shop?
Charlene: Well, he goes to Three Rivers Junior College, too. What are you gettin' at?
Suzanne: Well, I don't mean to get personal Charlene, but has it ever occurred to you that maybe Odell is involved in some homosexual activity?
Charlene: Suzanne! I mean, just because a person is sensitive and artistic doesn't mean he's gay. Not that that would matter to me anyway.
Julia: Well I think he sounds like an interesting and talented young man.
Suzanne: I think he sounds like a woman.
Mary Jo: Bear in mind that this comes from the lips of a woman who thought there was a patron saint for homosexuals named, "Saint Francis of a Sissy."
Suzanne: Let me get this straight. He's never had a girlfriend, he knits sweaters and he works at the beauty shop?
Charlene: Well, he goes to Three Rivers Junior College, too. What are you gettin' at?
Suzanne: Well, I don't mean to get personal Charlene, but has it ever occurred to you that maybe Odell is involved in some homosexual activity?
Charlene: Suzanne! I mean, just because a person is sensitive and artistic doesn't mean he's gay. Not that that would matter to me anyway.
Julia: Well I think he sounds like an interesting and talented young man.
Suzanne: I think he sounds like a woman.
Mary Jo: Bear in mind that this comes from the lips of a woman who thought there was a patron saint for homosexuals named, "Saint Francis of a Sissy."
TV Show: Designing Women