Ashes to Ashes Quotes
Alex Drake: You still owe me dinner.
Gene Hunt: What?
Alex Drake: Tonight's my last night. So, that's it then. It's a date. Our last supper.
Gene Hunt: Can I be Jesus?
Gene Hunt: What?
Alex Drake: Tonight's my last night. So, that's it then. It's a date. Our last supper.
Gene Hunt: Can I be Jesus?
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Alex Drake: [to Tom Robinson] I know you. You end up on Radio 6. You fall in love with a woman and have two kids.
Ray Carling: Don't worry mate. She says stuff like that all the time.
Ray Carling: Don't worry mate. She says stuff like that all the time.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Lord Scarman: I've seen plenty, thank you! I've spent the night with a mentally ill man who thinks he's a police officer, who you now seem to be entrusting with actual police work. I've seen two of our most brilliant barristers treated with appalling disdain!
Gene Hunt: I'm sure we can arrange a car to take Lord Scarman home.
Lord Scarman: I've talked to several young, homosexual men, and heard their despair, their dreadful tales of police harassment.
Gene Hunt: Put it all in your report, your Lordship!
Lord Scarman: The police harassment of sexual and racial minorities is an endemic, ineradicable disease threatening the very survival of our society!
Gene Hunt: [coldly] Catchy title. Got "Bestseller" written all over it. Now if you'll excuse me...! [turns away]
Lord Scarman: I'll be keeping a beady eye on you, DCI Hunt! [Gene turns back to face him]
Gene Hunt: Is that right!? Well you can take this home in your Harrods pipe and smoke it! In twenty years time, when the streets are awash with filth, and you're too frightened to leave your big, posh Belsize Park house after dark, don't come running to me, mate! Because I'll be in Alicante, oiled up, skin sizzling in the midday sun like a burnt sausage!
Lord Scarman: If you're quite finished... ?
Gene Hunt: No, not quite. You can despise us, you can disown us, you can even try and close us down, but you will never break us! We are police officers! We are brothers! We are UN-BLOODY-BREAKABLE! [all of CID cheers and applauds his words]
Gene Hunt: I'm sure we can arrange a car to take Lord Scarman home.
Lord Scarman: I've talked to several young, homosexual men, and heard their despair, their dreadful tales of police harassment.
Gene Hunt: Put it all in your report, your Lordship!
Lord Scarman: The police harassment of sexual and racial minorities is an endemic, ineradicable disease threatening the very survival of our society!
Gene Hunt: [coldly] Catchy title. Got "Bestseller" written all over it. Now if you'll excuse me...! [turns away]
Lord Scarman: I'll be keeping a beady eye on you, DCI Hunt! [Gene turns back to face him]
Gene Hunt: Is that right!? Well you can take this home in your Harrods pipe and smoke it! In twenty years time, when the streets are awash with filth, and you're too frightened to leave your big, posh Belsize Park house after dark, don't come running to me, mate! Because I'll be in Alicante, oiled up, skin sizzling in the midday sun like a burnt sausage!
Lord Scarman: If you're quite finished... ?
Gene Hunt: No, not quite. You can despise us, you can disown us, you can even try and close us down, but you will never break us! We are police officers! We are brothers! We are UN-BLOODY-BREAKABLE! [all of CID cheers and applauds his words]
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Gene Hunt: How would you like to grow up knowing your daddy tried to blow you to kingdom come?
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Gene Hunt: [to a young Alex Drake] Bye, little lady. Any problems, you just call the Gene Genie.
Alex Drake: How come you were there, taking the little girl's hand? That couldn't have happened. You weren't there. You're not real.
Gene Hunt: I'm everywhere, Bolly. I was needed and I was there.
Alex Drake: How come you were there, taking the little girl's hand? That couldn't have happened. You weren't there. You're not real.
Gene Hunt: I'm everywhere, Bolly. I was needed and I was there.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Gene Hunt: Unbreakable, Bolly. Unbreakable. Unlike this bottle of wine which is undrinkable.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Alex Drake: [on Gene's cursory questioning of a suspect] Well, was that it? I've seen bacon grilled for longer than that.Oh great, I'm even beginning to sound like you.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Alex Drake: [in the quattro stuck in traffic as a man walks across the road holding a sign shaped as a large penis] There's a man with a giant penis.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Alex Drake: Auto-erotic asphyxiation.
Gene Hunt: What?
Alex Drake: By strangling himself like that his dying brain cells released glutamate. To prevent glutamate overload the brain releases a receptor. It's these receptors that give rise to the feelings of euphoria.
Gene Hunt: I didn't know you had a PhD in masturbation, DI Drake.
Gene Hunt: What?
Alex Drake: By strangling himself like that his dying brain cells released glutamate. To prevent glutamate overload the brain releases a receptor. It's these receptors that give rise to the feelings of euphoria.
Gene Hunt: I didn't know you had a PhD in masturbation, DI Drake.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Alex Drake: You're not drunk.
PC Kevin Hales: I'm just a pebble on the beach, Ma'am. I'm nothing. We are everywhere. Everywhere.
PC Kevin Hales: I'm just a pebble on the beach, Ma'am. I'm nothing. We are everywhere. Everywhere.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Gene Hunt: [to Alex Drake] You've got a very pretty face but you go on longer than the Eurovision Song Contest.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Gene Hunt: You talk to me, Alex. If I mean anything to you at all.
Alex Drake: I'm from the future. I was shot. And I woke up here, with you. Just like Sam Tyler, only this is my reality. And I'm fighting not to die because if I die, I will never get home, and it's insane but there it is. And I trust you, which is why I'm telling you the truth.
Alex Drake: I'm from the future. I was shot. And I woke up here, with you. Just like Sam Tyler, only this is my reality. And I'm fighting not to die because if I die, I will never get home, and it's insane but there it is. And I trust you, which is why I'm telling you the truth.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
[In her 1982 coma world Alex sees each member of the team in turn on a TV while in a electricals store]
Ray Carling: Come on, wake up! The doctor stopped the bleeding in your gut months ago. I wasn't gonna come here, but we've got this missing girl and what with the guv in hiding I'm on my own. Wake up! Come on, wake up! Help me!
Chris Skelton: I couldn't get grapes so I got a melon [Alex laughs at the Chris' comment on the display] I'll leave it here for you. This Dorethy stuff, Dorethy Blond, we're all at sea on it boss, ma'am, what with the guv on the run, it's been three months now... Oh, Shaz is coming in later. We're not together anymore, but that's cool... It's not the same without you ma'am. Can't you wake up and...
Shaz Granger: There's some melon on the floor ma'am, do you want me to clean it up? It's not fair, you made things better and then you left us. I went back to making bloody tea and biscuits. I should have got a job at Peak Freans. If you came back, I know you'd help me...
Jim Keats: Alex? Look at what he has done to you. You don't know me, but I read all about you, you're the best of them Alex, it's not fair. He did this to you and I don't want history to repeat itself. I don't want you to end up like...
[The image cuts to flashes of all the characters who have talked yo Alex while she has been in her coma, until finally Gene appears]
Gene Hunt: Wakey, wakey Drakey. Oh come on, you weren't that shot.
Ray Carling: Come on, wake up! The doctor stopped the bleeding in your gut months ago. I wasn't gonna come here, but we've got this missing girl and what with the guv in hiding I'm on my own. Wake up! Come on, wake up! Help me!
Chris Skelton: I couldn't get grapes so I got a melon [Alex laughs at the Chris' comment on the display] I'll leave it here for you. This Dorethy stuff, Dorethy Blond, we're all at sea on it boss, ma'am, what with the guv on the run, it's been three months now... Oh, Shaz is coming in later. We're not together anymore, but that's cool... It's not the same without you ma'am. Can't you wake up and...
Shaz Granger: There's some melon on the floor ma'am, do you want me to clean it up? It's not fair, you made things better and then you left us. I went back to making bloody tea and biscuits. I should have got a job at Peak Freans. If you came back, I know you'd help me...
Jim Keats: Alex? Look at what he has done to you. You don't know me, but I read all about you, you're the best of them Alex, it's not fair. He did this to you and I don't want history to repeat itself. I don't want you to end up like...
[The image cuts to flashes of all the characters who have talked yo Alex while she has been in her coma, until finally Gene appears]
Gene Hunt: Wakey, wakey Drakey. Oh come on, you weren't that shot.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
[After waking from her coma in 1983, Alex is met by Gene]
Gene Hunt: What's the matter with you, you dozy mare, you walked right into the path of my shooter, I don't fire magic bullets, you know, they don't go bending in the air. They said I tried to kill you Bolls, but I knew you would not let me down, we're a team, Bodie and Doyle. I'm the one in the SAS and you can be the one with the girl's hair. Now get your knickers on, we're leaving.
Gene Hunt: What's the matter with you, you dozy mare, you walked right into the path of my shooter, I don't fire magic bullets, you know, they don't go bending in the air. They said I tried to kill you Bolls, but I knew you would not let me down, we're a team, Bodie and Doyle. I'm the one in the SAS and you can be the one with the girl's hair. Now get your knickers on, we're leaving.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
[After leaving the hospital Gene and Alex stand in an alley talking. Gene drinks from a whiskey bottle]
Alex Drake: Where did you go?
Gene Hunt: Abroad. The Isle Of Wight. That was shit, so I tried the Costa Brava. It was the best Full English I've ever had. Then I thought, "Why am I running? Gene Hunt doesn't run". I'm in a mess, Bolls.
Alex Drake: So am I.
Gene Hunt: I'm fighting for my future.
Alex Drake: Me too.
Gene Hunt: Get up. Come here.
[Alex stands and Gene examines the gunshot wound on her stomach]
Gene Hunt: I'm sorry. I could have hit my target but you fell all wrong.
Alex Drake: Sometimes in life you can't help which way you fall.
Gene Hunt: You do know that when I walk through those doors they're gonna come for me?
Alex Drake: Yeah... Well, there's only one thing for it. Let's fire up the Quattro.
Alex Drake: Where did you go?
Gene Hunt: Abroad. The Isle Of Wight. That was shit, so I tried the Costa Brava. It was the best Full English I've ever had. Then I thought, "Why am I running? Gene Hunt doesn't run". I'm in a mess, Bolls.
Alex Drake: So am I.
Gene Hunt: I'm fighting for my future.
Alex Drake: Me too.
Gene Hunt: Get up. Come here.
[Alex stands and Gene examines the gunshot wound on her stomach]
Gene Hunt: I'm sorry. I could have hit my target but you fell all wrong.
Alex Drake: Sometimes in life you can't help which way you fall.
Gene Hunt: You do know that when I walk through those doors they're gonna come for me?
Alex Drake: Yeah... Well, there's only one thing for it. Let's fire up the Quattro.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
[Viv stands in custody talking to a elderly woman, Gene walks in escorting Alex]
Viv: Don't worry I'm sure we'll find Tinkerbell as soon as we have... [notices Alex and Gene] Bugger me sideways.
Viv: Don't worry I'm sure we'll find Tinkerbell as soon as we have... [notices Alex and Gene] Bugger me sideways.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
[Gene and Alex enter the CID office; Gene eyes the information on a display board]
Gene Hunt: What's this? Dorothy Blonde, kidnapped yesterday morning.
Ray Carling: 8: 21. The parents are on their way in. There's been a ransom demand.
Gene Hunt: Well, we better get her back then, hadn't we? Who's in charge of this shambles?
Ray Carling: I am. I'm a DI now.
Gene Hunt: A DI?!
Ray Carling: It's not that incredible. [Gene walks to the door of his office where his name has been replaced with Ray's] DCI Timmons wanted to keep hold of his office so I thought I would...
Chris Skelton: We didn't think you were coming back, guv.
Gene Hunt: Nor did I after the report you gave the enquiry.
Chris Skelton: They asked all sorts of questions they already knew the answers to.
Alex Drake: Rhetorical.
Chris Skelton: Nah, it was definitely English.
Gene Hunt: What's this? Dorothy Blonde, kidnapped yesterday morning.
Ray Carling: 8: 21. The parents are on their way in. There's been a ransom demand.
Gene Hunt: Well, we better get her back then, hadn't we? Who's in charge of this shambles?
Ray Carling: I am. I'm a DI now.
Gene Hunt: A DI?!
Ray Carling: It's not that incredible. [Gene walks to the door of his office where his name has been replaced with Ray's] DCI Timmons wanted to keep hold of his office so I thought I would...
Chris Skelton: We didn't think you were coming back, guv.
Gene Hunt: Nor did I after the report you gave the enquiry.
Chris Skelton: They asked all sorts of questions they already knew the answers to.
Alex Drake: Rhetorical.
Chris Skelton: Nah, it was definitely English.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Ray Carling: You can't just come back in here and pick up where you left off, what about the enquiry?
Gene Hunt: Ray, if you ever come into this office again dressed like a maths teacher, I'll paint your balls the colour of hazelnuts and inform a bunch of squirrels that winter's coming.
Gene Hunt: Ray, if you ever come into this office again dressed like a maths teacher, I'll paint your balls the colour of hazelnuts and inform a bunch of squirrels that winter's coming.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Gene Hunt: [extremely annoyed] Right, you lot, sit down and do some bloody work! I've got D&C coming down on me like a ton of bricks, and all you bastards can do is bicker like girls! It ends now! Right, can we just have five minutes peace and quiet, while I feed my hangover a small Scotch, thank you?
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Ray Carling: [After Chris finds a severed hand in the mail] Looks like you got your hand-job after all, mate.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
[Keats brings Ray to his office to interview him as part of his evaluation of CID]
Jim Keats: Take a seat Ray.
Ray Carling: Blimey. It's hotter than a Majorcan minge in 'ere!
Jim Keats: Sorry. Poor bloody circulation.
Jim Keats: Take a seat Ray.
Ray Carling: Blimey. It's hotter than a Majorcan minge in 'ere!
Jim Keats: Sorry. Poor bloody circulation.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
[A concerned Gene bursts into the dating agency after Alex has been absent for some time]
Gene Hunt: [To desk clerk] I'm lookin' for love. You got any?
Gene Hunt: [To desk clerk] I'm lookin' for love. You got any?
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
[Comparing their false dating forms]
Gene Hunt: You know what!? You'll get every soppy, pustular virgin this side of the Blackwall Tunnel!
Alex Drake: [smugly] At least I'll get some replies.
Gene Hunt: You know what!? You'll get every soppy, pustular virgin this side of the Blackwall Tunnel!
Alex Drake: [smugly] At least I'll get some replies.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
[Having apprehended a potential murder suspect]
Gene Hunt: Are you a killer, Harris?
Harris: No, Mr Hunt!
Gene Hunt: Are you a dishonest little scrotum who's been buying shit lager with somebody else's chequebook?
Harris: Yes, Mr Hunt!
[Gene grabs Harris in a headlock]
Alex Drake: [exasperated] Is this strictly necessary?
Gene Hunt: No, but it's bloody good fun!
Gene Hunt: Are you a killer, Harris?
Harris: No, Mr Hunt!
Gene Hunt: Are you a dishonest little scrotum who's been buying shit lager with somebody else's chequebook?
Harris: Yes, Mr Hunt!
[Gene grabs Harris in a headlock]
Alex Drake: [exasperated] Is this strictly necessary?
Gene Hunt: No, but it's bloody good fun!
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
[After Drake learns she was lied to at a speed-dating event]
Ray Carling: [chuckling] The oldest trick in the book. "Oh, the wife's just died. I'm bringing up two kids on me own". Next thing you know, your ankles are right behind your ears!
Gene Hunt: Looks like you've been stitched up like a kipper, Bolly!
Alex Drake: [furious] Little shit! Let's get him!
Gene Hunt: I know your professional pride is...
Alex Drake: Piqued?
Gene Hunt: Trampled on like a dead rat.
Ray Carling: [chuckling] The oldest trick in the book. "Oh, the wife's just died. I'm bringing up two kids on me own". Next thing you know, your ankles are right behind your ears!
Gene Hunt: Looks like you've been stitched up like a kipper, Bolly!
Alex Drake: [furious] Little shit! Let's get him!
Gene Hunt: I know your professional pride is...
Alex Drake: Piqued?
Gene Hunt: Trampled on like a dead rat.
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
[After Shaz has played an instrumental part in bringing down a killer]
Ray Carling: Can I just say, that I might not have been the biggest supporter of women in the police force. [the rest of CID laugh] Hey, it's not my fault I've got an illness with a posh name! What's it called?
Alex Drake: Misogyny.
Ray Carling: But what Shaz did tonight was incredible. [the others applaud] And I for one am very proud to have been a colleague of yours. [the others applaud and cheer]
Ray Carling: Can I just say, that I might not have been the biggest supporter of women in the police force. [the rest of CID laugh] Hey, it's not my fault I've got an illness with a posh name! What's it called?
Alex Drake: Misogyny.
Ray Carling: But what Shaz did tonight was incredible. [the others applaud] And I for one am very proud to have been a colleague of yours. [the others applaud and cheer]
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes
Gene Hunt: Right Shaz, let's put an end to this leaving nonsense!
Shaz: Guv, I thought you said you wouldn't mention it!
Gene Hunt: I lied. It's long been an ambition of mine to see you out of your uniform -- [the rest of CID laugh]
Shaz: GUV!
Gene Hunt: No, I mean out of THE uniform. What I'm trying to say is you keep up this quality of work, you'll be in CID by Christmas!
Shaz: Guv, I thought you said you wouldn't mention it!
Gene Hunt: I lied. It's long been an ambition of mine to see you out of your uniform -- [the rest of CID laugh]
Shaz: GUV!
Gene Hunt: No, I mean out of THE uniform. What I'm trying to say is you keep up this quality of work, you'll be in CID by Christmas!
TV Show: Ashes to Ashes