Doug Quotes

Brewmeister Smith: [shadowing Bob and Doug, and waiting outside their house for what seems like hours] What the *stink* are they *doing* in there?

TV Show: Doug
Doug: Good luck, Bebe.
Beebe Bluff: Thanks, but I won't be needing it.
Doug: Yeah, I know...

TV Show: Doug
Doug McKenzie: Don't make me steamroll you. Steamroller!

TV Show: Doug
Doug: It's not fair, Pork Chop. Patti's a way better dancer than Bebe.

TV Show: Doug
Judy: [Watching Doug go through her private stuff] Oh no I don't mind. go through all my dresser drawers if you want
Doug: I knew you would understand
Judy: Stay away from my dresser
Doug: But you said...
Judy: I was being sarcastic

TV Show: Doug
Skeeter: [every time Skeeter says hi to Doug] Yo Doug! [makes nasal noise]
Skeeter: Ha ha.

TV Show: Doug
'Mr. Funnie: "Look out, Bluffington, the Funnie family has arrived!"
(The population sign changes to 20,001 people.)
Doug: "Population 20,001. I guess the one is... me!"

TV Show: Doug
Doug: "I met someone - Skeeter - I hope he becomes my best friend - (Porkchop begins growling) - best human friend!"

TV Show: Doug
Roger: "I'll catch one that'll make that 'neematoad' look like a 'neematadpole'!"

TV Show: Doug
Mr. Dink: "So, Douglas, did you find the Honker Burger? Or did you just starve to death?"

TV Show: Doug
Doug: "My name's Doug. I guess I didn't catch yours."
Roger: "That's because I didn't throw it!"

TV Show: Doug
(Approaches Honker Burger Register)
Doug: "Hi, I'd like three double cheeseburgers, one all the way, one no pickles, one no onions, a fish sandwish, four large fries and four grape sodas."
Honker Burger Lady: "What on Earth are you trying to say?"
Doug: "What do you mean?"
Honker Burger Lady: "I can't understand you."

TV Show: Doug
Doug: "Listen, my family is starving...."
(Skeeter arrives)
Skeeter: "Yo, man, let me take care of this. The new kid wants three moo cows, one no qukes, one no stinkers, one wet one, four cubers, and four from the vine. Want anything else?"
Doug: "Well, how do you order a salad from the salad bar?"
Skeeter: "One salad from the salad bar."

TV Show: Doug
Skeeter: "Wow, I've never seen a vegetarian dog before!"
Doug: "It's just a phase."

TV Show: Doug
Mr. Dink: "This is my wife, Tippy. Most people call her Mrs. Dink. I usually call her on a telephone!"
Mrs. Dink: "Who writes your material, dear?"

TV Show: Doug
Judy: "The air is electric with fragrance of this new venture. What's that smell? Ooh, gives me strength."

TV Show: Doug
Doug: "Dad, can you try to dodge the bumps? I'm getting ink blots on my journal."
Dad: "That's a big ten-four, buddy!"

TV Show: Doug
Mr. Dink: "Say, Tippy. Wanna shag some balls?"

TV Show: Doug
(Doug is writing in his journal.)
Doug: "Dear Diary, it's me... Doug. The school dance felt like it happened a long time ago, but I remember it like it was only yesterday. It all began... Well, this afternoon!"

TV Show: Doug
Roger: "Trying on your costume for the big dance tonight? What are you? A pile of manure?!"

TV Show: Doug
'Mr. Dink: "Do you remember the first time I asked you to dance?"
Mrs. Dink: "Yes."
Mr. Dink: "And do you remember what you said?"
Mrs. Dink: "Yes. 'Go away and leave me alone.'"
Mr. Dink: "Oh, you do remember! But you finally said 'yes' at our senior prom! As I recall, I swept you right off your feet."
Mrs. Dink: "And into the refreshment table."
Mr. Dink: "Still, wasn't that hospital really nice?"

TV Show: Doug
Patti: "Great costume. You make a wonderful slug."

TV Show: Doug