Arthur Quotes

Nadine: I don't know anything that you don't know. It's imaginary.

TV Show: Arthur
[At the glass shop, D.W. sees a woman and her teenage son debating]
Boy's Mother: Stop that! You'll break something!
Boy: [sighs heavily] Whatever.
Boy's Mother: That's enough back talk, young man! You can forget about going to that concert tonight!
Boy: WHAT?! You can't do that!
Boy's Mother: I can, and I have!:

TV Show: Arthur
Children: (singing) If you're happy and you know it and your really wanna...

TV Show: Arthur
Catherine: [offscreen, calls Francine] Hey squirt, come here!
[Francine stands up off of the sofa and walks to her and Catherine's room]
Catherine: I was online and found some stuff you might want to use for your paper.
Francine: Oh thanks, but I finished it already. [looks at the printed article in surprise] Hey, this is my paper!
Catherine: You mean, you already used some of this information?
Francine: I used the whole thing. It was perfect for the topic. So I cut and pasted it into a new document and added a title.
Catherine: [disappointed] Francine, you CAN'T do that!
Francine: Why not?
Catherine: Because that's PLAGIARISM, that's why.
Francine: No, it isn't. It's called finishing your work early, so you can enjoy Thanksgiving. [worried] What's "plagiarism"?
Catherine: [picks up the printed article] It's when you take someone else's work and claim it's your own. It's basically STEALING.
Francine: But I already handed it in. So, you think I can get an "F"?
Catherine: Worse! You could be SUSPENDED.
Francine: Huh?
Oliver: [offscreen, from the kitchen] Kids! Dinner's ready!
Catherine: [whispers] You have to tell Ratburn!

TV Show: Arthur
Arthur: D.W. I'm trying to do my homework! And there's no such thing as busalooey! IF YOU DON'T STOP, I'M GONNA WRECK THAT CD!
D.W.: : MOM!
Mr. David Read: (looking for the music for the party) I wouldn't have promised to bring the music to the party if I known I lost it.
Mrs. Jane Read: Found it!
Mr. David Read: Great!
D.W.: : Mom! Arthur's gonna wreck my Crazy Bus!
Mrs. Jane Read: Turn it off! I can't hear you!
(D.W. turns off the radio)
Mr. David Read: Arthur?

TV Show: Arthur
[in Francine and Catherine's room, Catherine is reading a book called Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë, then lowers the book as Francine walks in with the ottoman]
Catherine: Hi Fran-- [screams][Francine sets down the ottoman and plugs it in] WHAT IS THAT??!!
Francine: An ottoman with built-in foot warmer and TV dinner tray! Arthur's parents were having a yard sale and letting me have it for free.
Catherine: [shakes her head in disbelief, lays her book, and stands up off of the bed] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is the LAST STRAW! You are NOT bringing anymore REVOLTING JUNK into this room. [flashback of Francine bringing in an ice cream lamp, volcano alarm clock, and reptile] First, it was that lamp you bought when Tasty Cone went out of business. Then it was that UGLY lava alarm clock. And that reptile! [the flashback wipes out to the current] THIS MADNESS MUST STOP!
Francine: Oh, what about YOUR things?! Lacy curtains, lacy ugly cats, lacy pillows, LACY LACE?!
Catherine': So what if my half is laced-ribbon? It has a UNIFYING theme!
Francine: Yeah, NAUSEATING. That's the theme.
Catherine: You are so ignorant.
Francine: JUST wait until your feet get cold. Then you'll be sorry.

TV Show: Arthur
Hobson: My Name is Lillian and I am an alcoholic. I'm rich, I'm fabulously rich. I'm also generous and kind hearted. My father died when I was young and my mother was absent most of the time. Is this an excuse for making a mockery of my life? Oh it all looks very wild from the outside, I once went to bed with three European Princesses at the same time but A, I cant remember anything about it, and B, apparently I vomited over two of them before losing control of my bladder on the third, oh yes all such fun. Until the fog parts and suddenly there's a hole so big that all the vintage champagne and all the bat mobiles on the world can't fill it. Then I'm all alone on my magnetic bed, wondering what venereal disease I've just caught.
Arthur: Always the quiet ones.

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: We shouldn't get married... we have nothing in common. You love horses. I don't trust them. Their shoes are permanent. Who makes that kind of a commitment to a shoe?

Movie: Arthur
Police Sergeant: You're drunk again Arthur
Arthur: No... I have remained drunk since our last encounter

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: Could I stay for a minute, please?
Naomi Quinn: Why?
Arthur: Because it will reduce the proportion of my life that I spend feeling totally miserable.

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: Why didn't you tell me before?
Hobson: I didn't want you to feel bad.
Arthur: Why are you telling me now?
Hobson: Because I want you to feel bad.

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: Tiffany, this is my nanny Hobson, my best friend in the whole world.
Tiffany: Your nanny?
Hobson: Hes merely shaped like an adult.

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: What was that?
Susan: A French kiss.
Arthur: Really? Because the French always surrender, that was decidedly German.

Movie: Arthur
Susan: You're running from yourself Arthur.
Arthur: I wish I was, because I'd let me get away.

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: Congratulations, you're winning the dead parent game. But it's not too late to run home and butcher my mother.

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: Hello Hobson!
Hobson: Morning Arthur. And Friend.
Arthur: [Points at Tiffany]Tiffany.
Hobson: Ohhh, Points for knowing her name and saying it with confidence.
Arthur: I made a Mental association with my lamp.

Movie: Arthur
Hobson: [Holding up Tiffany's Bra]I wouldn't recommend letting him get used to your breasts dear, hes got an addictive personality. He was at mine till he was six.
Arthur: Hobson!
Hobson: I had to dab tabasco on the nipples to see him off
Arthur: That lady has never once breastfed me
Hobson: Despite his best efforts.

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: I'm going to take a bath.
Hobson: I'll alert the media.

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: Grape shears, what an innovation! You can use them for my castration!

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: First your father and then the horse - when will my testicles get some rest?

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: Could you detach the half-naked business woman from under my bed?

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: I know what a jobs are, Snobson.

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: Who wouldn't want to marry a sexy clown.

Movie: Arthur
Hobson: Evander, if he's not out of this ring in one minute I'll bite your other ear off.

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: I'm talking about Tuscany! White truffle gelato! Have you ever tried white truffle gelato? It makes all other gelato taste like shit.

Movie: Arthur
Tiffany: You guys are weird and racist.

Movie: Arthur
Arthur: Look! It's orphan Annie, but as a man. Orphan Mannie!

Movie: Arthur