Arrested Development Quotes
George Sr.: I just haven't had sex in a month.
Michael: You know, you've been here two months.
George Sr.: It's hard to gauge time.
Michael: Yeah, I'll bet.
Michael: You know, you've been here two months.
George Sr.: It's hard to gauge time.
Michael: Yeah, I'll bet.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Michael: Come on, face it. You just do all this charity crap just to stroke your ego. You don't even know what the auction's for tonight.
Lindsay: The wetlands.
Michael: To do what with them?
Lindsay: Dry them.
Michael: Save them.
Lindsay: From drying.
Lindsay: The wetlands.
Michael: To do what with them?
Lindsay: Dry them.
Michael: Save them.
Lindsay: From drying.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lindsay: Look, I screwed up, ok? I'm lost, and I hate them. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane, Michael.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[at the prison]
Barry Zuckerkorn: Are all the guys in here... you know? [referencing gay inmates]
George Sr.: Oh, no, no. No, not all of them.
Barry Zuckerkorn: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.
George Sr.: Hope?
Barry Zuckerkorn: Think.
Barry Zuckerkorn: Are all the guys in here... you know? [referencing gay inmates]
George Sr.: Oh, no, no. No, not all of them.
Barry Zuckerkorn: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.
George Sr.: Hope?
Barry Zuckerkorn: Think.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lucille: What'd she do, get you drunk?
Michael: No, we just, uh, well... we — we did drink a little bit. How'd you know that?
Lucille: Because that's what she said she'd do. I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. Oh... her words.
Michael: No, we just, uh, well... we — we did drink a little bit. How'd you know that?
Lucille: Because that's what she said she'd do. I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, "He will if I get him drunk." Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. Oh... her words.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Michael: Hey, Mom. Remember we had that conversation about trying to cut back on things that aren't necessities?
Lucille: Like it was yesterday.
Michael: It was this morning.
Lucille: Like it was yesterday.
Michael: It was this morning.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lucille: You're my third least favorite child.
Michael: I can live with that.
Michael: I can live with that.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Speaking of the surprise party for Lucille.
Maeby: We (George Michael and I) don't have to go, do we?
Michael: This is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children.
Maeby: We (George Michael and I) don't have to go, do we?
Michael: This is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: And I'm going to continue dating, Mom.
Michael: It sounds a little bit like "dating Mom."
Buster: It's starting to feel a little like it.
Michael: It sounds a little bit like "dating Mom."
Buster: It's starting to feel a little like it.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Michael: Since when are you against leather?
Maeby: Yeah, you're not even a vegetarian.
Lindsay: Well, I'm not against the insides. I mean, people need meat to survive.
Michael: You are aware they don't remove it surgically, right?
Maeby: Yeah, you're not even a vegetarian.
Lindsay: Well, I'm not against the insides. I mean, people need meat to survive.
Michael: You are aware they don't remove it surgically, right?
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lucille: [to Lindsay] I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Maeby: [working with Lucille] This is so much fun. I can't believe my mom thought being here would be a punishment.
Lucille: Oh, she thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.
Lucille: Oh, she thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Maeby: [working with Lucille] Well, we can go get some ice cream, Gangee. That would be fun, right?
Lucille: I don’t think so. That chubby little wrist of yours is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.
Lucille: I don’t think so. That chubby little wrist of yours is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Jessie: We need to make Michael the new face of the Bluth company. He's the only likable one in the bunch. No offense.
Michael: None taken.
Michael: None taken.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Jessie: There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town.
Tobias: Well, that certainly leaves me out. [Everyone looks at Tobias] You said "single," right? She said "single."
Tobias: Well, that certainly leaves me out. [Everyone looks at Tobias] You said "single," right? She said "single."
TV Show: Arrested Development
Gob: Oh, I see. She wants to talk to you. For some reason women feel safe around you. Maybe it's because you've only had sex four times.
Michael: Not four times, four women! And they talk to me because I talk to them!
Michael: Not four times, four women! And they talk to me because I talk to them!
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lucille 2: Buster, this is exactly why our relationship does not work.
Buster: Our relationship doesn't work?
Lucille 2: No, not as long as you keep getting me all mixed up with your mother.
Buster: It is exactly the opposite. I'm leaving my mother for you. You're replacing my mother.
Lucille 2: Well, that's healthy.
Buster: Our relationship doesn't work?
Lucille 2: No, not as long as you keep getting me all mixed up with your mother.
Buster: It is exactly the opposite. I'm leaving my mother for you. You're replacing my mother.
Lucille 2: Well, that's healthy.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Barry Zuckerkorn: It would help if you would all show up looking like a loving, supportive family.
Lucille: For how long?
Barry Zuckerkorn: Ten minutes tops.
Lucille: See if you can get it down to five.
Lucille: For how long?
Barry Zuckerkorn: Ten minutes tops.
Lucille: See if you can get it down to five.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Gob: [to Michael] Tell you what. You may not be good with women, but you are great with other people's women. I'll give you that.
TV Show: Arrested Development
George Michael: Was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant?
Gob: Oh yeah. Dozens of times.
Gob: Oh yeah. Dozens of times.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lindsay: It's George Michael, he told me. I think he wants a mother.
Michael: Well that's ridiculous. He's got you, he's got our mother. You'd think that would turn him off to the entire concept.
Michael: Well that's ridiculous. He's got you, he's got our mother. You'd think that would turn him off to the entire concept.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lucille: I don't have the milk of mother's kindness in me anymore.
Michael: Yeah. That udder's been dry for a while though, hasn't it?
Michael: Yeah. That udder's been dry for a while though, hasn't it?
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lindsay: Well, you and I have different management styles. I believe work should be fun, and you try to crush people's spirits. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: I’m a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.
Lucille: Suddenly, playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.
Lucille: Suddenly, playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.
TV Show: Arrested Development
George Sr.: What are you doing firing Kitty? You can't fire Kitty. First of all, you don't have hiring and firing power.
Michael: I do, and I had to — she's crazy.
George Sr.: Well, that's why you don't fire her. You don't fire crazy. You never fire crazy.
Michael: I do, and I had to — she's crazy.
George Sr.: Well, that's why you don't fire her. You don't fire crazy. You never fire crazy.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lindsay: Where's Nana?
Lucille: I sent her on a wonderful cruise. You just missed a wonderful call from her. She just came back from a wonderful costume party that the captain threw. She gained ten pounds, there's so much food on that boat. She's up to 74. She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. It was wonderful. Just wonderful.
Narrator: In fact, Lucille's mother had been dead for six months.
Lucille: I sent her on a wonderful cruise. You just missed a wonderful call from her. She just came back from a wonderful costume party that the captain threw. She gained ten pounds, there's so much food on that boat. She's up to 74. She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. It was wonderful. Just wonderful.
Narrator: In fact, Lucille's mother had been dead for six months.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Michael: I'm not a one-night stand kinda guy, I don't like lying to women.
Gob: These are lawyers. That's Latin for liar.
Gob: These are lawyers. That's Latin for liar.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Michael: Boy, the lengths you'll go to sleep with a woman.
Gob: Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.
Narrator: But he really didn't.
Gob: Yes, I did.
Gob: Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.
Narrator: But he really didn't.
Gob: Yes, I did.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Gob: I just had a major night. With a major blonde. Who just majored in Marine Biology, if you know what I mean.
Michael: I don't know what you mean. I can't imagine what that means.
Michael: I don't know what you mean. I can't imagine what that means.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Gob: And now you love the Ten Commandments. And yet you're the one who so conveniently forgot "Thou shalt protect thy father and honor no one above him unless it be-ith me, thy sweet Lord."
Michael: I'm not sure that one made it down the mountain, Gob.
Michael: I'm not sure that one made it down the mountain, Gob.
TV Show: Arrested Development