Arrested Development Quotes
Lucille: And that goes into storage, right? Not into your apartment.
Painter: Que?
Lucille: [to Michael] What's Spanish for "I know you speak English"?
Painter: Que?
Lucille: [to Michael] What's Spanish for "I know you speak English"?
TV Show: Arrested Development
Gob: I've got this Christian girlfriend now and she's trying to get me to be a better man and reconnect with my son and I'm trying to get her to renounce God and [bleep] me and I just want to prove to her that I'm worth it.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Michael: That’s the point, Dad. Mr. Loblaw no longer works for us because someone wanted a boyfriend.
Tobias: Well, don’t blame me!
Michael: I was talking to Lindsay, actually, but he was clearly turned off to the both of you.
Tobias: Well, don’t blame me!
Michael: I was talking to Lindsay, actually, but he was clearly turned off to the both of you.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lindsay: You know, Mom, I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died.
Buster: You gave us cereal in an ashtray.
Buster: You gave us cereal in an ashtray.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lucille: I just pray it's one of those things where he's unconscious through the whole trial and when he wakes up he gets BIG toy!
Michael: Did you do this, Mom? Did you put one of your own sons in a coma so he wouldn't testify?
Lucille: Michael, how dare you! Although the thought did cross my mind.
Michael: Did you do this, Mom? Did you put one of your own sons in a coma so he wouldn't testify?
Lucille: Michael, how dare you! Although the thought did cross my mind.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Gob is using a "My name is Judge" magazine insert inside his ventriloquist dummy]
Gob: They'll call me up on the stand, say something like "who is this little friend?", and he'll say...
Franklin/Judge: My name is Judge.
Gob: Whose name is Judge?
Franklin/Judge: My name is...
Gob: That's a silly name!
Michael: That's enough!
Franklin/Judge: ...Judge. My name...
Gob: Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly!
Franklin/Judge: ...Is...
Gob: Oh, now you're correcting my grammar?
Michael: Gob, not going to put Franklin on the stand. And your lips are moving just a little bit.
Franklin/Judge: ...Judge.
Gob: He's right, his name is Judge now.
Gob: They'll call me up on the stand, say something like "who is this little friend?", and he'll say...
Franklin/Judge: My name is Judge.
Gob: Whose name is Judge?
Franklin/Judge: My name is...
Gob: That's a silly name!
Michael: That's enough!
Franklin/Judge: ...Judge. My name...
Gob: Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly!
Franklin/Judge: ...Is...
Gob: Oh, now you're correcting my grammar?
Michael: Gob, not going to put Franklin on the stand. And your lips are moving just a little bit.
Franklin/Judge: ...Judge.
Gob: He's right, his name is Judge now.
TV Show: Arrested Development
George, Sr.: I just want my brother to envy my money, but he’s got that hair. Why can’t I have hair and money and him nothing?
TV Show: Arrested Development
Gob: The real problem is that she keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The... something of my ways. Wisdom?
Michael: It's probably wisdom.
Michael: It's probably wisdom.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Michael: I can't stand to hear one more lie out of this family.
Tobias: [entering](to Lindsay) There's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.
Michael Okay, but that's the last one.
Tobias: [entering](to Lindsay) There's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.
Michael Okay, but that's the last one.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Richard Shaw: I’m sorry it took so long, but the Cheney Expressway was backed up all the way to Halliburton Road.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: Let me go with you. I was trained by Army. I speak the language.
Michael: You speak Arabic?
Buster: La-ach-ha-tem.
Michael: What’s that mean?
Buster: No, I was just clearing my throat... but I think it actually does mean "laundry," but like a child’s laundry. We don’t really have a word for it.
Michael: You speak Arabic?
Buster: La-ach-ha-tem.
Michael: What’s that mean?
Buster: No, I was just clearing my throat... but I think it actually does mean "laundry," but like a child’s laundry. We don’t really have a word for it.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Tobias: I should call the Hot Cops and tell them to dress up as something more nautically themed. Hot sailors, maybe. Or better yet, hot sea—
Michael: I like hot sailors.
Tobias: Mmmm. Me too.
Michael: I like hot sailors.
Tobias: Mmmm. Me too.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Narrator: Although George Michael had only got to second base, he’d gone in head first, like Pete Rose.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[after being declined entrance in to a high end restaurant]
Lindsay Funke: Let's just go, I've suddenly lost my appetite.
Lucille Bluth: Oh, who's gonna believe that?
Lindsay Funke: Let's just go, I've suddenly lost my appetite.
Lucille Bluth: Oh, who's gonna believe that?
TV Show: Arrested Development
[after Lucille gives Maeby a jeweled elephant brooch that Lindsay was supposed to inherit]
Lindsay Funke: That was supposed to be for me. She was my au pair. I'm the one who cleared my throat and pointed to the laundry room. Ma. You know I wanted that.
Lucille Bluth: I know. But it's an elephant and I didn't want to invite the comparison.
Lindsay Funke: That was supposed to be for me. She was my au pair. I'm the one who cleared my throat and pointed to the laundry room. Ma. You know I wanted that.
Lucille Bluth: I know. But it's an elephant and I didn't want to invite the comparison.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[after the publicist has just told the family that Michael is the most likeable member of the family]
Publicist: There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town.
Tobias Fünke: Well, that leaves me out. [silence, everyone stares]
Tobias Fünke: She did say single, right? I-I-I thought she said single.
Publicist: There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town.
Tobias Fünke: Well, that leaves me out. [silence, everyone stares]
Tobias Fünke: She did say single, right? I-I-I thought she said single.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[after watching Rita walk across the pool]
Michael: Gob, was that your trick?
Gob: No, Michael, that's not my trick.
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development:
Gob: [shouts] It's my illusion.
Michael: Gob, was that your trick?
Gob: No, Michael, that's not my trick.
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development:
Gob: [shouts] It's my illusion.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[answering the phone]
George Michael: [very quickly] Bluth-Company-George-Michael-speaking-not-Kitty.
George Michael: [very quickly] Bluth-Company-George-Michael-speaking-not-Kitty.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[as cops surround the docks and start shooting at drug dealers while fake stripper cops cower nearby]
Drug Dealer: You set us up.
Gob: No. These are the strippers. Look how hot they are.
Drug Dealer: You set us up.
Gob: No. These are the strippers. Look how hot they are.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Buster has shown up at his father's hearing with a mariachi band]
Lucille: Oh, for God's sake. He's out of the house for two days and he joins a gang.
Lucille: Oh, for God's sake. He's out of the house for two days and he joins a gang.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Buster reveals that he made George Michael get pot from Gob for him]
Buster: It-it's for my girlfriend. She's sick.
Gob: Why don't you just wait it out? She's gonna be gone soon.
Buster: Oh, that's it. [starts hitting Gob]
Buster: Why are YOU hitting yourself? Why are YOU hitting yourself? Why are YOU hitting yourself?
Buster: It-it's for my girlfriend. She's sick.
Gob: Why don't you just wait it out? She's gonna be gone soon.
Buster: Oh, that's it. [starts hitting Gob]
Buster: Why are YOU hitting yourself? Why are YOU hitting yourself? Why are YOU hitting yourself?
TV Show: Arrested Development
[flashback to George Sr. driving a younger Michael, Gob, and Buster]
George Sr.: We're out of milk. I could have got it earlier if someone would have left a note. [suddenly he runs down J. Walter Weatherman and his fake arm comes off]
George Sr.: [poorly acting] Why? If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm. Why? [the kids scream as Weatherman comes up to them]
J. Walter Weatherman: And that's why you always leave a note.
George Sr.: We're out of milk. I could have got it earlier if someone would have left a note. [suddenly he runs down J. Walter Weatherman and his fake arm comes off]
George Sr.: [poorly acting] Why? If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm. Why? [the kids scream as Weatherman comes up to them]
J. Walter Weatherman: And that's why you always leave a note.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[George Michael and Maeby are searching through the Bluth company files illegally]
George Michael: Fingerprints? You said they wouldn't be taking fingerprints.
Maebe: No, I said don't wear your mittens.
George Michael: Fingerprints? You said they wouldn't be taking fingerprints.
Maebe: No, I said don't wear your mittens.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[getting off the phone with George Sr]
Michael: What'd he say?
George Michael: Well, if I clean it up, it really isn't a sentence.
Michael: What'd he say?
George Michael: Well, if I clean it up, it really isn't a sentence.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[giving a toast]
Michael: To Buster and Lucille...
Buster: Don't forget my girlfriend.
Michael: That's who I meant.
Michael: To Buster and Lucille...
Buster: Don't forget my girlfriend.
Michael: That's who I meant.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Gob has gotten George Michael to break in and steal company records]
George Sr.: You got my 14-year-old grandson do this?
Gob: Under 18 walks out clean.
George Sr.: Listen, um... there's a very strict "no touching policy" here. But, um... oh, what the hell, it's worth a week in the hot box. [Hits Gob]
Prison guard: No touching.
George Sr.: You stupid ass.
George Sr.: You got my 14-year-old grandson do this?
Gob: Under 18 walks out clean.
George Sr.: Listen, um... there's a very strict "no touching policy" here. But, um... oh, what the hell, it's worth a week in the hot box. [Hits Gob]
Prison guard: No touching.
George Sr.: You stupid ass.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Gob has slept with a teacher he thought Michael liked]
Michael: Gob, Ms. Whitehead was the civics teacher. We both had her.
Gob: Yes we did, and now we're even.
Michael: Gob, Ms. Whitehead was the civics teacher. We both had her.
Gob: Yes we did, and now we're even.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Gob is leaving his and Marta's house]
Marta: Te Quiero.
Gob: English, please.
Marta: I love you.
Gob: Great, now I'm late.
Marta: Te Quiero.
Gob: English, please.
Marta: I love you.
Gob: Great, now I'm late.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Lindsay commenting on her stance against circumcision]
Lindsay Funke: I think it's frightening when it's cut off. It's like a Doberman - let it have its ears.
Lindsay Funke: I think it's frightening when it's cut off. It's like a Doberman - let it have its ears.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Lindsay is trying to get rid of a replica of the Ten Commandments from the front of a courthouse]
Lindsay: I've always been passionate about the separation of church and state.
Michael: Oh, really? What are you going to do with them?
Lindsay: I don't know. Give 'em to a school.
Lindsay: I've always been passionate about the separation of church and state.
Michael: Oh, really? What are you going to do with them?
Lindsay: I don't know. Give 'em to a school.
TV Show: Arrested Development