Arrested Development Quotes


Lucille: She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB.
Michael: I think that makes the joke on GOB.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Lucille: Start the bidding at $10,000. If the bidding increases, shout out something like "I get her 364 days a year for free.".
Michael: I'm not going to say that.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Lucille: The company is in danger.
Michael: What tipped you off? The falling profit margins or the fact that we're a regular feature on Bill O'Reilly's most ridiculous item of the day?

TV Show: Arrested Development

Lucille: What's a Forget-Me-Now?
Gob: They're pills that create a sort of temporary forgettingness. So if somebody finds out how you do a trick, you just give 'em one of these, and they forget the whole thing. It's a mainstay of the magician's toolkit, like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether.
Tobias Fünke: Gob, this is Flunitrazepam. It's a roofie.
Lucille: Those are illegal.
Gob: Shut up, Mom. Don't make me give you another one of these.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Lucille: You idiots. If your father sees me here with Wayne...
Michael: ...we'll be stuck with Barry.
Wayne Jarvis: I shall hide behind that garbage car. [and does just that]
Michael: Guy's a pro.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Lucille: You tricked me.
Michael: I *deceived* you. "Tricked" makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Ann Veal: You must teach me, George Michael. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Annyong: Okay, Mom want someone to come with her to my soccar game. She don't want other soccar moms think she single. She old school.
Michael: I liked it better when he just said Annyong.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Steve Holt: [reading the cast list for Tobais's play] STEVE HOLT.
Maebe: STEVE HOLT.
George Michael Bluth: I'm a stand-in for...
Steve Holt: [interrupting] STEVE HOLT.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Steve Holt: [Tobias casts Steve in a female role in the school play] BEATRIX.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Steve Holt: Beatrice.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Steve Holt: I've made a huge mistake.
Gob: I know the feeling. I had you. I'm your father, Steve Holt. I can't hide from it any more.
Steve Holt: I won't forget this... Dad.
Gob: [swallows roofie] I will. I will.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Steve Holt: Your mom seems pretty cool.
Maebe: That's not my mom.
Steve Holt: ...but she said you were her daughter.
Maebe: His daughter. It's my dad.
Steve Holt: That's a dude?
Maebe: And the worst part is? He thinks he's passing.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Armless man: And that's why you always leave a note.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Armless man: And that's why you don't yell.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Armless man: Oh, my God. My arm.
Michael: Oh, my God, this guy's arm.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Man at Bar: You're married to Carl Weathers? Shit.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Tobias Funke: Where the fuck are my hard-boiled eggs?

TV Show: Arrested Development

Transvestite Store Clerk: Are you going to actually buy something this time, or are you just curious?
Tobias Fünke: Well, let's just say that I'm buy-curious.

TV Show: Arrested Development

Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it.

TV Show: Arrested Development