Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes
Drew: Things you shouldn't do after heavy drinking.
Greg: [Staggering around] So, where is this boy we're going to circumsize?
Greg: [Staggering around] So, where is this boy we're going to circumsize?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[High-pitched, squeaky voice]
When I was a young boy, I thought I'd never change
But then as I got older, I started feeling strange
One day I was standing, and then I saw a girl
And when I saw her booty it [Deep, masculine voice] totally rocked my world
When I was a young boy, I thought I'd never change
But then as I got older, I started feeling strange
One day I was standing, and then I saw a girl
And when I saw her booty it [Deep, masculine voice] totally rocked my world
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: The worst thing to find in your parachute pack.
Greg: (pretends to pull the cord) Miniature Snickers?!
Greg: (pretends to pull the cord) Miniature Snickers?!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Improper etiquette when meeting the queen.
Greg: (pretends to grab the queen's crown and put it on his head) Butter!
Greg: (pretends to grab the queen's crown and put it on his head) Butter!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
When I went to med school I was very proud
When I got my diploma I yelled right out loud
I did an operation and I did my part
His name was Newt Gingrich and I removed his heart
When I got my diploma I yelled right out loud
I did an operation and I did my part
His name was Newt Gingrich and I removed his heart
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
My friends threw me a party, I knew that I was sunk
We strip right down, all night long got really drunk
Dancing with my naked friends, boy that's the life
As a matter of fact, to hell with my wife
We strip right down, all night long got really drunk
Dancing with my naked friends, boy that's the life
As a matter of fact, to hell with my wife
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Hey I got a girlfriend you know her name is Ruth.
The reason that I love her is that she always tells the truth.
We have not made love not since our inception.
But now she's pregnant she tells me it's immaculate conception.
The reason that I love her is that she always tells the truth.
We have not made love not since our inception.
But now she's pregnant she tells me it's immaculate conception.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I don't like to study, but I have no fear.
I'd rather just sit in my dorm room and drink lots of beer.
If I fail my tests, I have a special scheme.
It doesn't matter 'bout my grades, I'm on the football team.
I'd rather just sit in my dorm room and drink lots of beer.
If I fail my tests, I have a special scheme.
It doesn't matter 'bout my grades, I'm on the football team.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I work for a mover, right here in Hollywood.
I pull up my truck, and you know it's all good.
I had to move Drew Carey, and it was real queer.
He didn't have no belongings, just a million cans of beer.
I pull up my truck, and you know it's all good.
I had to move Drew Carey, and it was real queer.
He didn't have no belongings, just a million cans of beer.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Got to pay your taxes to the government
Because you know each dollar is so very well spent
You have got to pay them, but here's a little switch
I never pay my taxes, because I am so rich
Because you know each dollar is so very well spent
You have got to pay them, but here's a little switch
I never pay my taxes, because I am so rich
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I'm in advertising, you know my name is Rick
And I am really groovy, 'cause I am not a brick
I sit down and sell you stuff, stuff that you don't need
Because I have one motivation, and that's massive greed
And I am really groovy, 'cause I am not a brick
I sit down and sell you stuff, stuff that you don't need
Because I have one motivation, and that's massive greed
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[A response to the "Horward" piano glitch incident] Watch out for those tempo changes, man, because when we go into the second bridge this shit takes off!
[Ending an "Improbable Mission" intro disguised as a letter] This message will turn into a bird and fly away right now.
[Ending an "Improbable Mission" intro disguised as a letter] This message will turn into a bird and fly away right now.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I wanted surgery but my doc said no
I had to force him cause I had no place to go
I had to threaten him with my big old mouser
Now I look just like a grown up Doogie Howser
I had to force him cause I had no place to go
I had to threaten him with my big old mouser
Now I look just like a grown up Doogie Howser
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin wants to be a magician and I think he should
The only problem is he's not very good
He really sucks, he's the worst in the land
His best trick is pouring hot coffee on his hand
The only problem is he's not very good
He really sucks, he's the worst in the land
His best trick is pouring hot coffee on his hand
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
My brother needed surgery but we both were broke
I took him to a veterinarian as a little joke
He never complained I didn't hear a peep
So I thought "what the hell" and had him put to sleep
I took him to a veterinarian as a little joke
He never complained I didn't hear a peep
So I thought "what the hell" and had him put to sleep
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day
When I open up the door, kids and mothers run away
I have no costume, I don't care in the land
I open up the door, I've got my penis in my hand
When I open up the door, kids and mothers run away
I have no costume, I don't care in the land
I open up the door, I've got my penis in my hand
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I've just heard that Vegas just went broke
Apparently because of one single bloke
They never thought they would ever see this day
But that's what happens when Drew Carey eats buffet
Apparently because of one single bloke
They never thought they would ever see this day
But that's what happens when Drew Carey eats buffet
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I want to see my relative but don't you know it's not right
Every time we get together, all we do is fight
I want to see my family but don't you know i can't
We are from the south and my sister is my aunt
Every time we get together, all we do is fight
I want to see my family but don't you know i can't
We are from the south and my sister is my aunt
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I'll never see my family and that is just a hunch
As it turned out we weren't a very nice bunch
Oh no we're bad, we weren't any Hanson
I'll never see my family cause my name is Charlie Manson
As it turned out we weren't a very nice bunch
Oh no we're bad, we weren't any Hanson
I'll never see my family cause my name is Charlie Manson
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I have the most horrifying costume you've ever seen
When the children see me, they run away and scream
When it comes to costume, there is none more scary
I put on stupid glasses and go out as Drew Carey
When the children see me, they run away and scream
When it comes to costume, there is none more scary
I put on stupid glasses and go out as Drew Carey
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I really hate the guy who lives next door to me
I wish he would move real far so I couldn't see
People running naked it's really really scary
But I guess that's what you get when you live next door to Drew Carey
I wish he would move real far so I couldn't see
People running naked it's really really scary
But I guess that's what you get when you live next door to Drew Carey
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I am so ugly that I'll never have a lover
When I leave the house all the dogs run for cover
I'm big and white and round and my back is really hairy
Yes, you guessed it, my name is Drew Carey
When I leave the house all the dogs run for cover
I'm big and white and round and my back is really hairy
Yes, you guessed it, my name is Drew Carey
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I buys lots of products when I'm at home alone
It's really really easy to order them by phone
Not to order these things is really kind of hard
But I never worry too much, I use Colin's credit card
It's really really easy to order them by phone
Not to order these things is really kind of hard
But I never worry too much, I use Colin's credit card
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Maybe this hoedown, I'll do really good this time
Hey this is easy, I'm really starting to rhyme
It's going great, boy I hope I have some luck
Cause last time I messed up, I said a word that rhymes with duck
Hey this is easy, I'm really starting to rhyme
It's going great, boy I hope I have some luck
Cause last time I messed up, I said a word that rhymes with duck
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Our director, he really is the boss
For yelling and screaming he's never at a loss
He's the meanest guy that you will ever see
He should sprout a mustache and move to Germany
For yelling and screaming he's never at a loss
He's the meanest guy that you will ever see
He should sprout a mustache and move to Germany
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Oh boy this hoedown is taking mighty long
I am so sick of this bloody song
Wayne sits there, he gets to rest
His penis is large that's why he's behind the desk
I am so sick of this bloody song
Wayne sits there, he gets to rest
His penis is large that's why he's behind the desk
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
A lot of people thinks that they're the best in the land
But the Backstreet Boys aren't my kind of band
Many people think that they are heaven's sent
But you're not a band unless you play an instrument
But the Backstreet Boys aren't my kind of band
Many people think that they are heaven's sent
But you're not a band unless you play an instrument
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
As an actor, there's nothing on TV
I think they should have a show about me
I don't think that's odd, I don't think that's real scary
And it'll happen when I murder Drew Carey
I think they should have a show about me
I don't think that's odd, I don't think that's real scary
And it'll happen when I murder Drew Carey
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Oh boy, those cop shows give me such a fright
And it seems like they are on every single night
Sure, you can watch them if you really want a scare
Thursday, at eight, you can see Melissa's underwear
And it seems like they are on every single night
Sure, you can watch them if you really want a scare
Thursday, at eight, you can see Melissa's underwear
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I hate it when they cut it for such a snob
But I guess in the way that is just their job
Faced it backstage that they act all snooty
But I hope they don't cut, Melissa's nice tight booty
But I guess in the way that is just their job
Faced it backstage that they act all snooty
But I hope they don't cut, Melissa's nice tight booty
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?