Outnumbered Quotes

Dad - Pete: You could do with Ramadan lasting all year round, couldn't you Kamal?

Movie: Outnumbered
Sue: Oh no, you're not scratching your head again. It's not nits is it? [checks, grimaces]
Sue: God. No you're fine.

Movie: Outnumbered
Sue: Ben and eggs. Why?

Movie: Outnumbered
Pete: Ah, the old "what I did in the holidays" composition. I don't think our English department does that. I don't think Year Sevens know how to spell car-jacking.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Pete: I don't believe it! Melanie Watts has confused Queen Elizabeth I with Queen Elizabeth II. She must have typed the wrong queen number into Google. Hmm. The Virgin Queen now has four children apparently. One of them's a helicopter pilot.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Karen: What's a hypocrite?
Pete: Um. Well, if said to you "You mustn't eat all the cake!" and then I ate all the cake myself I'd be a hypocrite.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Pete: Oh no. You're not checking your email.
Sue: There's one from Veronica.
Pete: Especially not one from Veronica.
Sue: Oh no, Veronica. No. I am not having that.
Pete: No, don't reply. That's fatal because then she'll reply and then you'll be tempted to reply to her reply and then you'll get caught up in that Pandora's... circle.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Sue: You mustn't arm wrestle this little girl cos she only looks about three.
Girl: Four!
Sue: She's four.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Pete: You are not allergic to peas. No one's allergic to peas. No one in the world is allergic to peas!
Karen: How do you know, because you - you haven't asked the people and - even if you did, I know you'd be lying because you can't speak Indian, you can't speak Japanese, you can't speak - you can't speak Australian or any of that!

TV Show: Outnumbered
Karen: (playing with stuffed toys) Taking the beeping beep! I've seen better souffle up your beeping beep BEEP!

TV Show: Outnumbered
Karen: See you next beeping beeping Thursday! Good BEEPING bye!

TV Show: Outnumbered
Karen: Next up is Nigella! Ooo-eee-aaa-eee, slurpy, scurpy, lovely, bubbly, scrummy, tasty, masty, slurpy burpy...

TV Show: Outnumbered
Sue: They didn't say anything on their website about it being flat packed!
Jake: Is some furniture not flat packed, then?

TV Show: Outnumbered
Jake: And anyway, what about those magazines you buy? Those celebrities probably don't want those pictures taken, yet you still go out and buy the magazines.
Sue: Well...I don't BUY them. I occasionally pick them up off trains. And bring them home...to recycle.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Karen: When professional tennis women play tennis, everytime they hit the ball they go UGGHH! And then they sit down and eat a banana.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Karen: I think the world is unfair to women.
Sue: Well, absolutely. I think you're right. Often, it is.
Karen: Because women can't grow moustaches or beards.
Sue: You want to grow a beard?
Karen: Well, I might want to be a tugboat captain, or an ayatollah.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Sue Oh no, you're not scratching your head again. It's not nits is it? (checks, grimaces) God. No you're fine.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Sue: It's my fault, Veronica. I should never have shown Ben how to reply to an email.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Pete: So Ben sent an email pretending to be you?
Karen: Mum!
Sue: Well actually -
Karen: Mum!
Sue: She's got nits. I'm halfway through.
Pete: Oh God, it's these parents isn't it? They know their kids have got them and they just merrily pack them off to school.
Sue: (grimacing guiltily) I know.

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Sue: You can't play with a nit, can you?
Karen: You can. You can play, like, I-Spy.

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Karen: (about fairies) They can fly down your throat and turn your heart into a pumpkin then your blood stops running and then you die.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Sue: I know, lets play fortunately/unfortunately! I'll start. Fortunately, the sun was shining.
Ben: Unfortunately, I don't like burgers.
Sue: You said you liked burgers!
Ben: When did I say that?
Sue: When you wouldn't eat your fish. I mean what do you like?
Ben: Pudding!
Sue: Now, you can't eat just puddings!
Ben: You can if you're a vegetarian.
Sue: Vegetarians eat up all their vegetables. The clue is in the word.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Dion: You're germs from a fly.
Sue: I've never been so insulted.
Karen: You're hair!
Jake: You're stinky brain juice, from a diseased cave troll.
Sue: You are a dead warthog's burp.
Ben: You're elephant poo that's stinky and yucky.
Sue: All right, enough of the poo jokes. Enough of the poo jokes!

TV Show: Outnumbered
Pete: You could do with Ramadan lasting all year round, couldn't you Kamal?

TV Show: Outnumbered
Sue: Is she eating?
Pete: She keeps banging on about how that's not her bowl.
Sue: It's not her bowl, because I broke her bowl this morning and had to drive all the way to Ikea to get her one that's identical but it IS identical.
Pete: Then how does she know it's not her bowl?
Sue: I dunno. She must have powers.

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Ben: (Sue has tried to use the example of the boy who cried wolf to get Ben to stop fibbing) If you're going to talk to me about lying, there are no wolves around here. We're in London, don't forget.

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Pete: What's that down there?
Sue: Where?
Pete: There.
Sue: (sighs) Ben's dinner. Oh, he's good.

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Angela: Karen, this is for you. It's a dream catcher. It's made by the native Americans and it catches all your dreams and keeps them safe forever.
Karen: I had a dream about weasels eating me last night and I don't want that one again.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Karen: I like Auntie Angela.
Sue: That's lovely sweetheart. Erm, anyway, let's get on with the game.
Karen: That was part of the game.

TV Show: Outnumbered
Sue: Can you climb over and help him?
Angela: Help him... how?
Sue: Well, hold it.
Angela: Hold what?
Sue: The box, otherwise it'll go everywhere!
Ben: I'm not weeing in a box!

TV Show: Outnumbered