The West Wing Quotes
Josh: I'm just trying to see around the corner so I don't get bit in the ass.
Donna: Are you going around the corner ass-first?
Donna: Are you going around the corner ass-first?
TV Show: The West Wing
Josh: Vast and violent vacuum cleaner, uprooting everything in its path.
Toby: It's a funnel cloud.
Josh: Vast and violent vacuum cleaner.
CJ: It's a vacuum cleaner and a funnel cloud. See, men? Peace on earth.
Toby: It's a funnel cloud.
Josh: Vast and violent vacuum cleaner.
CJ: It's a vacuum cleaner and a funnel cloud. See, men? Peace on earth.
TV Show: The West Wing
Ashland: It's all compromises, now. The ones who have no record of scholarship; no body of opinions, nothing you can hold them to. That's who they'll confirm. Raging mediocrities...I have good days and bad. But on my worst days, I am better than the amped-up ambulance chasers you could get confirmed by this Senate. You can't do it, Jed. You're not strong enough. The Speaker's running the table and I can't take a chance.
TV Show: The West Wing
CJ: Okay, but I've got to be careful about saying "man."
Toby: Why, because--? Oh, c'mon!
CJ: You'd be surprised. I get letters.
Toby: Fine, "human being," then, or do the other mammals complain?
Toby: Why, because--? Oh, c'mon!
CJ: You'd be surprised. I get letters.
Toby: Fine, "human being," then, or do the other mammals complain?
TV Show: The West Wing
Josh: No, Leo, how is this acceptable? Haffley's not the prime minister, you take this to the president, you'll know what he'll say?
Leo: He'll say yes.
Josh: How can you say that?
Leo: To keep the lights on! To make sure a couple of million government employees keep getting paid. It's two more months...
Josh: This isn't governing, it's duck and cover.
Leo: He'll say that too.
Leo: He'll say yes.
Josh: How can you say that?
Leo: To keep the lights on! To make sure a couple of million government employees keep getting paid. It's two more months...
Josh: This isn't governing, it's duck and cover.
Leo: He'll say that too.
TV Show: The West Wing
Donna: There's no agreement.
Josh: How far apart are we?
Donna: They're leaving the building.
Josh: How far apart are we?
Donna: They're leaving the building.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Well, I'm not going to negotiate with anyone who holds a gun to my head. We had a deal. I don't care if my approval ratings drop into single digits. I am the President of the United States, and I will leave the government shut down until we come to an equitable agreement.
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: Don't go out there again until morning.
CJ: Okay, but the enemy's advancing and you had better give me more than a squirt gun before the sun comes up.
CJ: Okay, but the enemy's advancing and you had better give me more than a squirt gun before the sun comes up.
TV Show: The West Wing
CJ: That's one way to make the shutdown seem real to the country -- don't mail eleven million checks.
Will: It'd be catastrophic if we don't fix this.
Toby: FDR will rise from the dead?
Will: Millions of angry grandparents are going to march on Washington, burn us in effigy.
Will: It'd be catastrophic if we don't fix this.
Toby: FDR will rise from the dead?
Will: Millions of angry grandparents are going to march on Washington, burn us in effigy.
TV Show: The West Wing
Toby: Sell me.
CJ: We had agreed to a one percent cut on a thirty-day continuing resolution, but the Speaker pulled a bait-and-switch.
Toby: One percent, two percent -- what's so unreasonable about three percent?
CJ: Three percent equals X dollars, which is Y flu vaccinations, Z school lunches...It's more convincing with numbers.
CJ: We had agreed to a one percent cut on a thirty-day continuing resolution, but the Speaker pulled a bait-and-switch.
Toby: One percent, two percent -- what's so unreasonable about three percent?
CJ: Three percent equals X dollars, which is Y flu vaccinations, Z school lunches...It's more convincing with numbers.
TV Show: The West Wing
Donna: There are pages turned down with Post-its to tell you which of your relatives the gifts are for. If you're happy with the choices you should initial at the X. If you're not happy with the choices, you should remember how this goes when you try to do this yourself.
Josh: I like the polar fleece stuff.
Donna: Who's in charge of shopping?
Josh: You are.
Josh: I like the polar fleece stuff.
Donna: Who's in charge of shopping?
Josh: You are.
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: [to Josh] You have to go back and tell him no. In no uncertain terms. Draw a picture if you need it. A ballot in a circle with a line through it.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: She dumped a Rhodes Scholar for this guy. Zoey left Charlie for the frog. Ellie and the guitar player with the purple van. My children choose morons, every one.
Debbie: They say daughters look for their fathers.
Debbie: They say daughters look for their fathers.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: You know, 15 years ago, we took a trip to Egypt, all five of us, saw the pyramids and Luxor, then headed up into the Sinai. We had a guide, a Bedouin man, who called me "Abu el Banat." Whenever we'd meet another Bedouin, he'd introduce me as "Abu el Banat." The Bedouin would laugh and laugh and then offer me a cup of tea. And I'd go and pay them for the tea, and they wouldn't let me. "Abu el Banat" means "father of daughters." They thought the tea was the least they could do.
TV Show: The West Wing
CJ: Toby.
Toby: Yeah.
CJ: Is there something you wanted?
Toby: World peace?
CJ: Toby, I'm not protecting you. Go hide from the President somewhere else.
Toby: Yeah.
CJ: Is there something you wanted?
Toby: World peace?
CJ: Toby, I'm not protecting you. Go hide from the President somewhere else.
TV Show: The West Wing
President Newman: You start saddling up camels in every country in the Middle East then you better be prepared to spend the next 50 years sifting through sand because this isn't a quick run on the beach, Jed. This is the new world order.
TV Show: The West Wing
Donna: A lot of them, their judges spoke at their sentencing about the harshness of what they had to impose.... Scrutinize away. You tell me? Do we toss out Daisy Aimes, mother of three... had a boyfriend who stored a kilo in her closet. She's done eight years and is facing eleven more. That's longer than rapists and child molesters get.... I don't see a list anymore. These are people.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: I will never surrender in the War on Drugs, but if you are consistently getting slaughtered on the battlefield, you've probably misjudged your enemy.
TV Show: The West Wing
Charlie: CJ, with the press -- could you ever trust a reporter?
CJ: Is this the beginning of a joke?
CJ: Is this the beginning of a joke?
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: If it was you whispering pardons in his ear, it was the right thing.
Abbey: I don't whisper, Leo. That's not how it works between us. My job is to help Jed be as good a President as he is a man.
Abbey: I don't whisper, Leo. That's not how it works between us. My job is to help Jed be as good a President as he is a man.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: I can't dress for this thing without you. Which one screams "dominance"?
Abbey: Do I get to wear it afterwards?
Bartlet: No Comment
Abbey: Do I get to wear it afterwards?
Bartlet: No Comment
TV Show: The West Wing
Toby: More college kids think they'll see UFOs than Social Security checks.
Bartlet: But they don't tell you how many believe in UFOs; that's the number we ought to be worried about.
Bartlet: But they don't tell you how many believe in UFOs; that's the number we ought to be worried about.
TV Show: The West Wing
CJ: If we're not running offense, we're running defense, and if we're playing defense, then there's some clever sports analogy that explains what happens then....
Josh: We're screwed.
CJ: That'll do...
Josh: We're screwed.
CJ: That'll do...
TV Show: The West Wing
CJ: A little tough love's what these people need. If that doesn't work, I'm moving on to Molotov cocktails.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Social Security is the third rail of American politics. Touch it, and you die.
Toby: That's 'cause the third rail's where all the power is.
Toby: That's 'cause the third rail's where all the power is.
TV Show: The West Wing
CJ: We've been over this. We need a hard news announcement each and every day or the press runs amok!
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: My generation never got the future it was promised... Thirty-five years later, cars, air travel is exactly the same. We don't even have the Concorde anymore. Technology stopped.
Josh: The personal computer...
Leo: A more efficient delivery system for gossip and pornography? Where's my jet pack, my colonies on the Moon?
Josh: The personal computer...
Leo: A more efficient delivery system for gossip and pornography? Where's my jet pack, my colonies on the Moon?
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: I thought when the Soviet Union fell, we could actually have disarmament. You go from trying to get rid of these weapons altogether to holding your breath that one doesn't go off on your watch. Strike another goal off the list.
TV Show: The West Wing
Josh: What I know is politics, public perception. And the image of NASA is not good. Telescopes launched that can't focus, planetary probes that crashed because engineers mixed up meters and feet. The only time NASA makes the front page anymore is when something goes wrong. You need to get off the front page. This administration only has one space priority: that you guys stop screwing up.
TV Show: The West Wing