The West Wing Quotes
Will: [to Josh] He's smart enough to take your advice... Bob Russell might be the next President of the United States. You get in now, you can make him the candidate you want him to be. After that we make him the President we need him to be.
TV Show: The West Wing
Toby: [on the phone] Are you kidding? Do you know the term "decent interval"? Go away. [hangs up] Magley from the DNC, wants to talk about who to run for the two vacant House seats.
Will: You're joking.
Toby: They're still picking up pieces of these guys over there, he's talking about DeSantos' poachable district.
Will: What's he calling you for?
Toby: He thought Josh'd be upset about Donna being in the car. I guess he figured since my ex-wife was only almost blown up that I'd be only almost upset.
Will: You're joking.
Toby: They're still picking up pieces of these guys over there, he's talking about DeSantos' poachable district.
Will: What's he calling you for?
Toby: He thought Josh'd be upset about Donna being in the car. I guess he figured since my ex-wife was only almost blown up that I'd be only almost upset.
TV Show: The West Wing
Toby: Listen, we need to make a call on Camden Yards.
Josh: Huh?
Toby: It's Memorial Day. He's gonna toss out the first pitch at Camden Yards.
Josh: Cancel it. Eh, can't cancel it; sends the wrong message. Ask for a moment of silence. And Toby, he's gotta, you need to take him out with gloves and a ball.
Toby: It's a six foot toss from the stands. It's Little League.
Josh: FDR threw from the stands; beaned one of his photographers in '37, extended the Depression by four years.
Josh: Huh?
Toby: It's Memorial Day. He's gonna toss out the first pitch at Camden Yards.
Josh: Cancel it. Eh, can't cancel it; sends the wrong message. Ask for a moment of silence. And Toby, he's gotta, you need to take him out with gloves and a ball.
Toby: It's a six foot toss from the stands. It's Little League.
Josh: FDR threw from the stands; beaned one of his photographers in '37, extended the Depression by four years.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Damn it, Shira, if I'm going to find the people behind this, I need access to the bomb site, access to the evidence and the cooperation of the Palestinian Authority, three things I cannot get if you keep firing missiles into Gaza!
TV Show: The West Wing
Reporter: The cuts aren't reflective of the President's attitude on military response in Gaza?
CJ: The cuts are reflective of the fact that Toby Ziegler has never written a five-minute speech in his life.
CJ: The cuts are reflective of the fact that Toby Ziegler has never written a five-minute speech in his life.
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: You know, on May 13th, the day before Israeli Independence Day, the TV stations in Israel screen the names of every soldier who's fallen for the country. A name flashes on the screen for a second or two, then the next name appears, you go to bed, you get up, the names are still flashing. That's how they observe Memorial Day.
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: The country wants action. Bringing Farat back to the table--
Bartlet: I'm not saying it's Camembert and wine, I'm saying it's what we got! Tell Hutchison to find a way to get Nassan without taking out a city block, I'll launch the damn missile myself!
Bartlet: I'm not saying it's Camembert and wine, I'm saying it's what we got! Tell Hutchison to find a way to get Nassan without taking out a city block, I'll launch the damn missile myself!
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: Just skip to the part that's going to piss me off
Toby: That's going to be all of it.
Toby: That's going to be all of it.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: I'm not bombing half the Middle East because it's going to make us all feel better.
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: He doesn't like chaos. We bomb some apartment building in Gaza or a camp in Syria there'll be consequences. And we can't tell him what they're going to be. Will we get drawn into a war in the Middle East? Will suicide bombers be climbing onto buses in Passaic, New Jersey instead on Tel Aviv and Haifa? ...The President is looking for answers and we don't have them.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: They want peace but I have to blow something up first?
Leo: I think they are willing to haggle on the peace part.
Bartlet: That usually work in the past?
Leo: I think they are willing to haggle on the peace part.
Bartlet: That usually work in the past?
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: Sir, the Lincoln Battle Group will be in position sometime tonight; they're awaiting your order to strike Nassan and the Syrian camps in the morning.
Bartlet: What?
Leo: We can't wait for Farrad. The risk of losing Khaleel Nassan is too great. We have intel linking Iran to the martyrs, it's sketchy in spots, but overall it's a compelling case. I'm recommending you include Iran in the attack.
Bartlet: General Alexander went ahead with plans for these bombings?
Leo: At your request.
Bartlet: I said I'd consider it when the time was appropriate! I did not ask-
Leo: He was trying to anticipate your eventual need, sir. At my urging...Mr. President, please, Congress, the Joint Chiefs, the American public, your own staff, everyone disagrees with your assessment of the situation.
Bartlet: Killing Palestinians isn't going to make us feel safer. They'll kill more of us, then we'll have to kill more of them. It's Russian Roulette with a fully-loaded gun!
Leo: We can't allow terrorists to murder our citizens-
Bartlet: Why would they do it? Why would Palestinians murder American government officials? They never have before. They're deliberately provoking us, Leo. They know that we have to retaliate. They've studied us; they want us to overreact-
Leo: This isn't overreacting. It's the appropriate, bala-
Bartlet: Tell me how this ends, Leo! You want me to start something that may have serious repercussions on American foreign policy for decades, but you don't know how it ends!
Leo: We don't always know how it ends!
Leo: ...The Lincoln will be in position in a few hours, and then you are going to have to give the go-ahead for the bombings.
Bartlet: ...Or what?
Bartlet: What?
Leo: We can't wait for Farrad. The risk of losing Khaleel Nassan is too great. We have intel linking Iran to the martyrs, it's sketchy in spots, but overall it's a compelling case. I'm recommending you include Iran in the attack.
Bartlet: General Alexander went ahead with plans for these bombings?
Leo: At your request.
Bartlet: I said I'd consider it when the time was appropriate! I did not ask-
Leo: He was trying to anticipate your eventual need, sir. At my urging...Mr. President, please, Congress, the Joint Chiefs, the American public, your own staff, everyone disagrees with your assessment of the situation.
Bartlet: Killing Palestinians isn't going to make us feel safer. They'll kill more of us, then we'll have to kill more of them. It's Russian Roulette with a fully-loaded gun!
Leo: We can't allow terrorists to murder our citizens-
Bartlet: Why would they do it? Why would Palestinians murder American government officials? They never have before. They're deliberately provoking us, Leo. They know that we have to retaliate. They've studied us; they want us to overreact-
Leo: This isn't overreacting. It's the appropriate, bala-
Bartlet: Tell me how this ends, Leo! You want me to start something that may have serious repercussions on American foreign policy for decades, but you don't know how it ends!
Leo: We don't always know how it ends!
Leo: ...The Lincoln will be in position in a few hours, and then you are going to have to give the go-ahead for the bombings.
Bartlet: ...Or what?
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Whether you choose to do this today or ten years from today, you will face the same geography, the same neighbors, the same ancient animosities. More years of bloodshed and pain will not change those facts. The only path to a real and lasting peace is through negotiation.
TV Show: The West Wing
Mukarat: They've done everything in their power to undermine moderate leadership. Don't they understand when they blow up leaders of Hamas with bombs, all those Palestinian homes, they only make them stronger? Boys and girls, they no longer want to be doctors, teachers, engineers. Now, they all want to be martyrs.
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: I can't support this decision....
Bartlet: We can't keep having this argument.
Leo: No sir, we can't. If my counsel is no longer of use to you, perhaps--
Bartlet: So, if I disagree with your advice, you have to threaten me?
Leo: This is your own League of Nations and it will ruin you like it ruined Wilson.
Bartlet: Okay. I'll need your successor in place before you leave.
Bartlet: We can't keep having this argument.
Leo: No sir, we can't. If my counsel is no longer of use to you, perhaps--
Bartlet: So, if I disagree with your advice, you have to threaten me?
Leo: This is your own League of Nations and it will ruin you like it ruined Wilson.
Bartlet: Okay. I'll need your successor in place before you leave.
TV Show: The West Wing
Kate: The tragedy is that the Palestinians and the Jews are so much alike.
Charlie: How's that?
Kate: All through history no one's wanted either of them.
Charlie: How's that?
Kate: All through history no one's wanted either of them.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Any ideas on how to break the logjam?
Josh: Too bad Congress isn't here. They'd just cook the books and hold a press conference.
Josh: Too bad Congress isn't here. They'd just cook the books and hold a press conference.
TV Show: The West Wing
Abbey: [about Leo's heart attack] Stress actually restricts the flow of blood to the coronary arteries. What I'm saying is it's physiological. Unless you wanted him meditating his way through intelligence briefings and sleeping in a flotation device--- there's nothing you did---
Bartlet: I fired him.
Abbey: What?
Bartlet: Last night at Camp David, I fired him. What does that do to the flow of blood?
Bartlet: I fired him.
Abbey: What?
Bartlet: Last night at Camp David, I fired him. What does that do to the flow of blood?
TV Show: The West Wing
Toby: We're fumbling. Our diplomatic strategy is a game of telephone.
Bartlet: Read the coverage. We're doing fine.
Toby: Today, sure, and the second day's story is how you pulled it off. But the third-day story is that Congress doesn't want to pay, that our coalition's fraying, that the spokes are coming off the wheels---
Bartlet: It's a couple of days. This was totally unexpected.
Toby: No it wasn't. Not with Leo's history with alcohol, with pills. Mr. President, surely you had a process in place.
Bartlet: Not for this. You think we'd even be doing this without him?
Toby: No, sir, but Leo is one person and there are 290 million more and they come first.
Bartlet: Read the coverage. We're doing fine.
Toby: Today, sure, and the second day's story is how you pulled it off. But the third-day story is that Congress doesn't want to pay, that our coalition's fraying, that the spokes are coming off the wheels---
Bartlet: It's a couple of days. This was totally unexpected.
Toby: No it wasn't. Not with Leo's history with alcohol, with pills. Mr. President, surely you had a process in place.
Bartlet: Not for this. You think we'd even be doing this without him?
Toby: No, sir, but Leo is one person and there are 290 million more and they come first.
TV Show: The West Wing
Abbey: You think this is your fault? It's not.
Bartlet: He's my best friend. I'm not the kind of person who has best friends.
Abbey: Because your life is your work, and so is his; your work.
Bartlet: What are you trying to say?
Abbey: You chose this; both of you. You're running a country, for God's sake, not a tree house.
Bartlet: Well, Leo stays in the tree house if he wants to. We'll work around his recovery; half-days, whatever it takes.
Abbey: He's not going to work half days. He's not going to work around his recovery. He's not going to do whatever it takes.
Bartlet: That's his decision.
Abbey: And we know what that decision is going to be.
Bartlet: So I should wake him up and fire him again? Because it worked so well the first time?
Abbey: Let's talk about this time. You've got to keep him out of that job. He'll kill himself for you if you don't.
Bartlet: He's my best friend. I'm not the kind of person who has best friends.
Abbey: Because your life is your work, and so is his; your work.
Bartlet: What are you trying to say?
Abbey: You chose this; both of you. You're running a country, for God's sake, not a tree house.
Bartlet: Well, Leo stays in the tree house if he wants to. We'll work around his recovery; half-days, whatever it takes.
Abbey: He's not going to work half days. He's not going to work around his recovery. He's not going to do whatever it takes.
Bartlet: That's his decision.
Abbey: And we know what that decision is going to be.
Bartlet: So I should wake him up and fire him again? Because it worked so well the first time?
Abbey: Let's talk about this time. You've got to keep him out of that job. He'll kill himself for you if you don't.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: I'd like to know why my Treasury Secretary's on national television denouncing a tax cut I never saw because of an estimate I never asked for.
Josh: We did offer to brief you on the details.
Bartlet: Brief me now.
Josh: We're not quite ready to brief you on the details.
Bartlet: Because you made a complete hash of it; the Leadership's sole request before taking up peacekeeping.
Toby: We're close to 60 Democratic votes.
Josh: It's just that you might face a decision about the fall legislative agenda.
Bartlet: What is that?
Toby: Would you prefer a bill to appoint an American monarch...
Josh: ...or a ban on the institution of marriage, except in casinos and department stores.
Bartlet: You tell the Speaker and the Majority Leader that with my newfound royal authority, with all my free time now that my marriage has been banned, and with the support of every NATO member in my pocket I'm sending those peacekeepers to the Middle East. If Congress wants to feed them, pay them, or ever bring them back, that's entirely up to them.
Toby: I assume we're free to play with the language on that.
Bartlet: We're done here.
Josh: We did offer to brief you on the details.
Bartlet: Brief me now.
Josh: We're not quite ready to brief you on the details.
Bartlet: Because you made a complete hash of it; the Leadership's sole request before taking up peacekeeping.
Toby: We're close to 60 Democratic votes.
Josh: It's just that you might face a decision about the fall legislative agenda.
Bartlet: What is that?
Toby: Would you prefer a bill to appoint an American monarch...
Josh: ...or a ban on the institution of marriage, except in casinos and department stores.
Bartlet: You tell the Speaker and the Majority Leader that with my newfound royal authority, with all my free time now that my marriage has been banned, and with the support of every NATO member in my pocket I'm sending those peacekeepers to the Middle East. If Congress wants to feed them, pay them, or ever bring them back, that's entirely up to them.
Toby: I assume we're free to play with the language on that.
Bartlet: We're done here.
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: Mr. President.
Bartlet: A morphine drip, and we can skip the formalities. I might get one myself... wheel it into meetings with the joint chiefs. You're not fired, Leo. You can delegate, work part-time. Bring the morphine with you for all I care.
Leo: You... You remember... what you told me... when you offered me the job?
Bartlet: "I need you to jump off a cliff."
Leo: And I did. And I'd do it again. But you need a new... chief of staff.
Bartlet: We came here to put the job first. Spend our lives for something that would outlast us. I just thought we'd have a longer line of credit is all. I'm gonna need that list of names.
Leo: Only one name.
Bartlet: A morphine drip, and we can skip the formalities. I might get one myself... wheel it into meetings with the joint chiefs. You're not fired, Leo. You can delegate, work part-time. Bring the morphine with you for all I care.
Leo: You... You remember... what you told me... when you offered me the job?
Bartlet: "I need you to jump off a cliff."
Leo: And I did. And I'd do it again. But you need a new... chief of staff.
Bartlet: We came here to put the job first. Spend our lives for something that would outlast us. I just thought we'd have a longer line of credit is all. I'm gonna need that list of names.
Leo: Only one name.
TV Show: The West Wing
CJ: [to Margaret] You're an odd woman and I've never quite understood you. But you are extremely capable and you run this office like a Swiss watch. And you're tall, which is reassuring. Leo may need you and if he does, that's okay. But if he's willing to part with you, I hope you'll stay.
TV Show: The West Wing
[After Toby and Josh have both "resigned" after CJ's promotion]
Bartlet: I'll make this quick. I don't know if I'm comfortable working this closely with a woman. Maybe it's time for me to call it a day, give the VP a chance to steer the ship.
[CJ looks confused; after a moment, Toby starts giggling, which sets everyone off, and CJ realizes the prank]
Bartlet: [to Toby] You're weak. You have a weak will. You should have held it. See if she pulled out the Continuity of Government plan.
Will: He cracked up at the mere suggestion of the VP...
Toby: [Still giggling uncontrollably] I had a whole thing on spending time with my kids, I went up.
CJ: You are bad, bad men.
Bartlet: In the service of a vengeful god.
Will: On behalf of the Vice President and myself and every man who's ever had a Wonder Woman fantasy, it's a bright day.
CJ: Get out.
Bartlet: I'll make this quick. I don't know if I'm comfortable working this closely with a woman. Maybe it's time for me to call it a day, give the VP a chance to steer the ship.
[CJ looks confused; after a moment, Toby starts giggling, which sets everyone off, and CJ realizes the prank]
Bartlet: [to Toby] You're weak. You have a weak will. You should have held it. See if she pulled out the Continuity of Government plan.
Will: He cracked up at the mere suggestion of the VP...
Toby: [Still giggling uncontrollably] I had a whole thing on spending time with my kids, I went up.
CJ: You are bad, bad men.
Bartlet: In the service of a vengeful god.
Will: On behalf of the Vice President and myself and every man who's ever had a Wonder Woman fantasy, it's a bright day.
CJ: Get out.
TV Show: The West Wing
CJ: You got the energy quarterly?
Bartlet: I got it right here, thank you.
CJ: I'd like it back.
Bartlet: How about you get your own copy?
CJ: We're not ready to assess domestic nuclear storage facilities, sir. The team hasn't evaluated all the options and I haven't presented you with complete information.
Bartlet: You don't think this is a good start?
CJ: I think it's you doing my job for me. You're looking at this based on DOD's call. Their perspective is valid, but it's only one perspective, and until we've gathered all the others, if you need something to read, I recommend the new Benjamin Franklin bio. It's a real page turner. [Grabs papers and begins to exit] Thank you, Mr. President.
Debbie: What was that?
Bartlet: I just got spanked.
Debbie: Hmm... Sorry I missed it. She still nervous?
Bartlet: I don't think so, no.
Bartlet: I got it right here, thank you.
CJ: I'd like it back.
Bartlet: How about you get your own copy?
CJ: We're not ready to assess domestic nuclear storage facilities, sir. The team hasn't evaluated all the options and I haven't presented you with complete information.
Bartlet: You don't think this is a good start?
CJ: I think it's you doing my job for me. You're looking at this based on DOD's call. Their perspective is valid, but it's only one perspective, and until we've gathered all the others, if you need something to read, I recommend the new Benjamin Franklin bio. It's a real page turner. [Grabs papers and begins to exit] Thank you, Mr. President.
Debbie: What was that?
Bartlet: I just got spanked.
Debbie: Hmm... Sorry I missed it. She still nervous?
Bartlet: I don't think so, no.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: [to CJ] I'm noticing a distinct slackening of awe, a certain lack of trembling in my presence.
TV Show: The West Wing
Toby: On a scale of 1 to 10 - 10 being CJ and 1 being a chimp throwing feces - where do I rank?
TV Show: The West Wing
Annabeth: How do you get women? Briefing the press is a seduction.
Toby: Briefing the press isn't a seduction. It's war!
Toby: Briefing the press isn't a seduction. It's war!
TV Show: The West Wing
Annabeth: [about Josh] He totaled a hybrid with an SUV. He's like an eco-terrorist in reverse.
TV Show: The West Wing