The Shield Quotes
Vic: We're trying to prevent a war, not start one!
Shane: The guy was being a pain in the ass!
Vic: You've been a pain in the ass lately! Should I take a piss on you?
Shane: The guy was being a pain in the ass!
Vic: You've been a pain in the ass lately! Should I take a piss on you?
TV Show: The Shield
Glenda: I need someone to listen to me.
Dutch: I'm busy at the moment, but maybe one of the uniforms--
Glenda: I said I need someone to listen to me!
Dutch: ...Okay. Did you want to report a crime?
Glenda: I've lost track of all the crimes.
Dutch: I don't underst--
Glenda: I've lived in this neighborhood all my life keeping my complaints to myself. But no more. My apartment has been broken into seven time in the last four years. SEVEN TIMES! And you never catch anyone! You have got graffiti and cuss words on every single wall that you see. I've got needles on my sidewalk, beer cans on my lawn, and I stopped ducking at the sound of gunshots years ago. We can drop smart bombs down chimneys half a world away, but some sicko gets released from jail because of a computer screwup and rapes my niece! How does this make sense? I see that yellow police tape everywhere that I go. And it's all sirens and helicopters and search lights... You got mothers killing their children, children killing strangers, and maniacs flying airplanes into buildings -- and I just want life to go back to the way it should have been! [Pause] What are you doing to make us feel safe?
Dutch: I'm busy at the moment, but maybe one of the uniforms--
Glenda: I said I need someone to listen to me!
Dutch: ...Okay. Did you want to report a crime?
Glenda: I've lost track of all the crimes.
Dutch: I don't underst--
Glenda: I've lived in this neighborhood all my life keeping my complaints to myself. But no more. My apartment has been broken into seven time in the last four years. SEVEN TIMES! And you never catch anyone! You have got graffiti and cuss words on every single wall that you see. I've got needles on my sidewalk, beer cans on my lawn, and I stopped ducking at the sound of gunshots years ago. We can drop smart bombs down chimneys half a world away, but some sicko gets released from jail because of a computer screwup and rapes my niece! How does this make sense? I see that yellow police tape everywhere that I go. And it's all sirens and helicopters and search lights... You got mothers killing their children, children killing strangers, and maniacs flying airplanes into buildings -- and I just want life to go back to the way it should have been! [Pause] What are you doing to make us feel safe?
TV Show: The Shield
Vic: Police. You knew the OD victim?
Sammy: He was rushing my frat. I'm the Pledge Master.
Vic: This part of rush week? [shows him the drugs]
Sammy: My father's a lawyer.
Vic: Mine was a bricklayer. So, what?
Sammy: He was rushing my frat. I'm the Pledge Master.
Vic: This part of rush week? [shows him the drugs]
Sammy: My father's a lawyer.
Vic: Mine was a bricklayer. So, what?
TV Show: The Shield
Dutch: What the hell am I supposed to talk to Shane Vendrell about all day?
Claudette: It's good to shake things up once in a while.
Dutch: I don't want to shake things up, I want my partner back.
Claudette': Aren't you sweet. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Dutch: You're gonna miss me too, right?
[Claudette smiles]
Claudette: It's good to shake things up once in a while.
Dutch: I don't want to shake things up, I want my partner back.
Claudette': Aren't you sweet. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Dutch: You're gonna miss me too, right?
[Claudette smiles]
TV Show: The Shield
Vic: [Shoving a guy's face into his dead brother's face] Here, you wanna see your brother? Here, kiss your brother.
TV Show: The Shield
Dutch: You want me to fly solo?
Shane: Nah, man, looks like this is the only action I'm gonna get today.
Dutch: Excuse me?
Shane: You know the "I lost my husband tragically but I'm still young and hot and in need of an emotional release" kind of sex. Whoo!
Dutch: You're kidding, right?
Shane: What? Oh, you never covered some accident or homicide and gone back a month later for a "statement"? [laughs] This one's been hanging on the vine for a year, man--she is ripe!
Shane: Nah, man, looks like this is the only action I'm gonna get today.
Dutch: Excuse me?
Shane: You know the "I lost my husband tragically but I'm still young and hot and in need of an emotional release" kind of sex. Whoo!
Dutch: You're kidding, right?
Shane: What? Oh, you never covered some accident or homicide and gone back a month later for a "statement"? [laughs] This one's been hanging on the vine for a year, man--she is ripe!
TV Show: The Shield
Cacuzza: You guys aren't trying to pull one of your pranks, are you?
Ronnie: No no no, I really want to move.
Cacuzza: Right, and a man is just as good as a vibrator. What are you up to?
Ronnie: No no no, I really want to move.
Cacuzza: Right, and a man is just as good as a vibrator. What are you up to?
TV Show: The Shield
Claudette: I learned some interesting things.
Dutch: So did I. You were a classical dancer when you were a teenager?
Claudette: Okay, my father is now off-limits to you. Where is he?
Dutch: How could you not share that?
Claudette: I only studied nine months.
Dutch: In Paris!
Claudette: Here, do your thing with these and stop stalking me.
Dutch: So did I. You were a classical dancer when you were a teenager?
Claudette: Okay, my father is now off-limits to you. Where is he?
Dutch: How could you not share that?
Claudette: I only studied nine months.
Dutch: In Paris!
Claudette: Here, do your thing with these and stop stalking me.
TV Show: The Shield
Dutch: If you're so special, how come a lowly civil servant like me just caught you?
TV Show: The Shield
Dutch: [reading what Sean wrote on the board] Detective Wagenbach craves respect, fantasizes about being well liked, yet shows no outward manifestation of his low self-esteem. Feels ignored, unappreciated, inadequate with women.
Sean: Ah, it's just off some first impressions, but I'll stand by it.
Claudette: Maybe you'd like to read my palms too.
Sean: Ah, it's just off some first impressions, but I'll stand by it.
Claudette: Maybe you'd like to read my palms too.
TV Show: The Shield
Vic: [Confronting Shane about an ill-advised sexual tryst he had with a suspect] I was doing a little channel surfing up in observation. I didn't know we got The Spice Network!
TV Show: The Shield
Corrine: [as Vic arrives with Brian] Some husbands just bring home flowers.
Vic: Yeah, I didn't have time to wrap him up.
Vic: Yeah, I didn't have time to wrap him up.
TV Show: The Shield
Vic: Why are you a better deal for me than Rondell?
Tio: I don't use my own product. Rondell does. More and more.
Tio: This whole Nation of Islam thing came on when he was high.
Vic: How would you have handled it?
Tio: Let them have the corner, move three blocks over. Dopers follow the dope. Pissing off the beanpie crowd just gives them a reason to live.
Vic: Throw a little bit of that peaceful resistance right back at 'em, huh?
Tio: Mmm-hmm. Now, if I'm done filling out the job application, let's talk about how much rent's gonna be.
Vic: Actually, fifty grand lets you move in right away.
Tio: Good thing I've been saving. [Shake hands]
Vic: It's a good thing.
Tio: I don't use my own product. Rondell does. More and more.
Tio: This whole Nation of Islam thing came on when he was high.
Vic: How would you have handled it?
Tio: Let them have the corner, move three blocks over. Dopers follow the dope. Pissing off the beanpie crowd just gives them a reason to live.
Vic: Throw a little bit of that peaceful resistance right back at 'em, huh?
Tio: Mmm-hmm. Now, if I'm done filling out the job application, let's talk about how much rent's gonna be.
Vic: Actually, fifty grand lets you move in right away.
Tio: Good thing I've been saving. [Shake hands]
Vic: It's a good thing.
TV Show: The Shield
Vic: What'd you get on Gilroy?
Shane: Checked out that hideaway in the hills...
Vic: And?
Lem: Mistress never checked in to those bungalows.
Vic: Another lie. What the hell is he doing?
Lem: Maybe he stashed her someplace else.
Shane: Or slashed her someplace else.
Vic: Oh, Jesus Christ!
Lem: I always took Gilroy for a quiet drunk.
Shane: It's the quiet ones you gotta worry about. [edit]
Shane: Checked out that hideaway in the hills...
Vic: And?
Lem: Mistress never checked in to those bungalows.
Vic: Another lie. What the hell is he doing?
Lem: Maybe he stashed her someplace else.
Shane: Or slashed her someplace else.
Vic: Oh, Jesus Christ!
Lem: I always took Gilroy for a quiet drunk.
Shane: It's the quiet ones you gotta worry about. [edit]
TV Show: The Shield
Aceveda: Come with me.
Claudette: What's the matter?
Aceveda: Someone leaked the 911 tapes.
Claudette: Shit!
Aceveda: It's all over the press. We got a situation brewing.
Claudette: Bad?
Aceveda: When we get there you should do all the talking. Coming from you, a plea for peace will sound more...
Claudette: Black?
Claudette: What's the matter?
Aceveda: Someone leaked the 911 tapes.
Claudette: Shit!
Aceveda: It's all over the press. We got a situation brewing.
Claudette: Bad?
Aceveda: When we get there you should do all the talking. Coming from you, a plea for peace will sound more...
Claudette: Black?
TV Show: The Shield
Dutch: That was some slide. Impact dragged him 75 feet.
Claudette: Maybe you wanna call Guiness.
Dutch: Nah. Record's something like over 30 miles. This isn't even a footnote.
Claudette: Maybe you wanna call Guiness.
Dutch: Nah. Record's something like over 30 miles. This isn't even a footnote.
TV Show: The Shield
Gabo: [about a rooster] Hey, man, where they taking him?
Shane: Three little letters... KFC.
Shane: Three little letters... KFC.
TV Show: The Shield
Jojo Rizal: [to Shane] Hey man, your cock's out!
[Shane looks down at his pants, then realizes his rooster is heading out the door]
[Shane looks down at his pants, then realizes his rooster is heading out the door]
TV Show: The Shield
Danny: [knocking on door] You called the police?
Betty: In here.
Danny: Police in the house.
Betty: You got here.
Julien: What's wrong ma'am?
Betty: Well, my daughter left, and I need my medicine.
Julien: What medicine?
Betty: For my arthritis. It's over there.
Danny: You called us for your arthritis medicine?
Betty: In the brown bottle over there. hand it to me.
Danny: Ma'am, 911 is for emergencies.
Betty: Well, this is an emergency to me.
Danny: [opens the pill bottle] How many?
Betty: Two. [stares at Danny]
Danny: What?
Betty: Well, would it kill you to get me a glass of water?
Betty: In here.
Danny: Police in the house.
Betty: You got here.
Julien: What's wrong ma'am?
Betty: Well, my daughter left, and I need my medicine.
Julien: What medicine?
Betty: For my arthritis. It's over there.
Danny: You called us for your arthritis medicine?
Betty: In the brown bottle over there. hand it to me.
Danny: Ma'am, 911 is for emergencies.
Betty: Well, this is an emergency to me.
Danny: [opens the pill bottle] How many?
Betty: Two. [stares at Danny]
Danny: What?
Betty: Well, would it kill you to get me a glass of water?
TV Show: The Shield
Gilroy: Wagenbach, what the hell are you doing just sitting at your desk?
Dutch: I'm... I'm working a hit and run.
Gilroy: Well, stop. We got cops bleeding out in the streets. Half the district's on fire. There is no other case.
Dutch: I'm... I'm working a hit and run.
Gilroy: Well, stop. We got cops bleeding out in the streets. Half the district's on fire. There is no other case.
TV Show: The Shield
Vic: [after busting through a fence and catching a runner] Alright slappy, you start talking!
Witness: 'Sup, man, I didn't do nothin'!
Vic: All right. Fine. You're not a witness... [pulls crack out of pocket and plants it on witness] You're an arrest! This here's just enough to make you a trafficker.
Witness: Hey, you can't do that, man!
Vic: What? Bust drug dealers? You just made my quota for the week!
Witness: 'Sup, man, I didn't do nothin'!
Vic: All right. Fine. You're not a witness... [pulls crack out of pocket and plants it on witness] You're an arrest! This here's just enough to make you a trafficker.
Witness: Hey, you can't do that, man!
Vic: What? Bust drug dealers? You just made my quota for the week!
TV Show: The Shield
Vic: What the hell are you doing?
Shane: I'm not doing anything that we weren't doing before. I'm just pumping things up a level.
Vic: And what level is that? Prison?
[Shane doesn't answer]
Vic: All right, where's my investment now?
Shane: It's all tied up in the coke shipment.
Vic: That coke that had Tio's guy bleeding from every orifice?
Shane: I'm not doing anything that we weren't doing before. I'm just pumping things up a level.
Vic: And what level is that? Prison?
[Shane doesn't answer]
Vic: All right, where's my investment now?
Shane: It's all tied up in the coke shipment.
Vic: That coke that had Tio's guy bleeding from every orifice?
TV Show: The Shield
Vic: How do I know I can trust you?
Aceveda: How do I know I can trust you?
Vic: I guess we have a deal then.
[Aceveda walks to the door then turns and looks at Vic]
Aceveda: This doesn't mean I like you.... Try screwing me on this, I'll bury you!
Aceveda: How do I know I can trust you?
Vic: I guess we have a deal then.
[Aceveda walks to the door then turns and looks at Vic]
Aceveda: This doesn't mean I like you.... Try screwing me on this, I'll bury you!
TV Show: The Shield
Kellis: Do you have that file for me?
Dutch: [while on the phone, in a dismissive tone] I'll get it to you soon.
Kellis: When I ask for something I ask politely because that's my nature, but when you make me ask a second time I loose my patience. This squad has been the epicenter of police corruption, civil law suites, and, most recently, a riot. The people I work for want answers. They expect me to get them. [Dutch hangs up the phone] I have the power to recommend changes, get people fired, even shut down this entire building if it's warranted! Do you understand what I'm saying detective!?
Dutch: Yes Ma'am.
Kellis: [calms down] Good. Uhmm... [laughs] if you could get me the Gilroy file, I would really appreciate it.
Dutch: Sure.
Kellis: Thank you.
Dutch: [while on the phone, in a dismissive tone] I'll get it to you soon.
Kellis: When I ask for something I ask politely because that's my nature, but when you make me ask a second time I loose my patience. This squad has been the epicenter of police corruption, civil law suites, and, most recently, a riot. The people I work for want answers. They expect me to get them. [Dutch hangs up the phone] I have the power to recommend changes, get people fired, even shut down this entire building if it's warranted! Do you understand what I'm saying detective!?
Dutch: Yes Ma'am.
Kellis: [calms down] Good. Uhmm... [laughs] if you could get me the Gilroy file, I would really appreciate it.
Dutch: Sure.
Kellis: Thank you.
TV Show: The Shield
U.S. Customs Officer: Do you have anything to declare?
Vic: Only that it's good to be back in the States.
Vic: Only that it's good to be back in the States.
TV Show: The Shield
Vic: I need that money!
Shane: Yeah! Well, we all do.
Vic: No, I need it now to get back my kids!
Shane: What are you talking about?
Vic: THEY'RE GONE SHANE! Corrine took them, they disappeared.
Shane: Yeah! Well, we all do.
Vic: No, I need it now to get back my kids!
Shane: What are you talking about?
Vic: THEY'RE GONE SHANE! Corrine took them, they disappeared.
TV Show: The Shield
Arab man: So I'm a suspect just because I'm Arab?
Danny: No, sir, you're a suspect because 19 guys who look like your twin brother killed 3,000 Americans.
Danny: No, sir, you're a suspect because 19 guys who look like your twin brother killed 3,000 Americans.
TV Show: The Shield
Dutch: You failed the GSR, Barney.
Barney: Oh, really? Can I take it again?
Dutch: [incredulous] No!
Barney: Oh, really? Can I take it again?
Dutch: [incredulous] No!
TV Show: The Shield
Dutch: If you knew you shot her, why did you agree to the residue test?
Barney: Well, if I didn't take it, I'd look guilty. And, you said it was a government test, so I figured, how reliable could it be?
Barney: Well, if I didn't take it, I'd look guilty. And, you said it was a government test, so I figured, how reliable could it be?
TV Show: The Shield