Saved by the Bell Quotes

Mr. Dewey: [telling grades for a quiz] Kelly B+, Lisa B+, Jessie C.
Jessie: C, C?
Mr Dewey: Sí, señorita, but this is geometry, not Spanish.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Belding: Class, this is my brother... Rod Belding.
Screech: Wow. A building with two Beldings, one of whom is balding.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
[Zack meets a college girl and lies about his age]
Slater: [smiling] So what happened, Preppie? Did she turn you down?
Zack: Guess again, my high school friend. She and I just agreed to get together and meet at "The Attic".
Screech: Wow, the attic. That is cool. There could be bats up there.
Slater: YOU'RE bats, Screech. "The Attic" is an 'over 18' club, and Zack's only 16.
Zack: That may be true, Slater. But by tomorrow morning, we'll all be 18.
Screech: Oh no. Mom said I have to move out at 18. I gotta look for a place.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Screech: [to Zack's pet duck] So long, Becky. And remember... [makes quack sounds]
Screech: [to Zack] I heard Donald say that to Huey, Dewey, and Louie.
Zack: And you're screwy.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: Hey, Mr. Belding. What brings you to study hall?
Mr. Belding Don't get cocky, Morris. I've got my eye on you.
Zack': Sorry, sir. You're not my type.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Ms. Simpson: To be or not to be. That is the question. Who said that?
Zack: You just did, Ma'am
Ms. Simpson: Right! Hamlet.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zachto Mr. Belding after he gave him some 'candy' . "The crunchy part's the thorax."

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Becky Belding: Why don't you get me ginger ale, with a big scoop of peanut butter?
Screech: Ah, that's my favorite combination too.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Lisa: Well, Screech, maybe you're pregnant.
Screech: Oh, don't be ridiculous, Lisa. I'm not even married.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
[the gang rewrites the words to Screech's corny school song before they decide to sing]
Screech: You hooligans. You demolished my song.
Lisa: No we didn't, Screech. It still says "Bayside".
Slater: Yeah, and we even left the words you put in: "it", "and", "the", "Bayside".
Screech: Oh... well in that case, it's ok then.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Alma Mater: "Bayside is the school that's cool and you know that it's true. The girls are the cutest and the guys are the hippest too. Ooh ooh ooh."

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Belding: Hey, hey, hey. *What* is going *on* here?

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: I like school... it's a good way to kill time between weekends.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: You know, I've finally found out the best thing about high school, once you graduate you don't have to come back.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Slater: What, no rose for me, preppie? And I thought we were real close.
Zack: Slater, face it. It's over.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Lisa: If you don't get rid of Linda, I'm gonna throw her out the winda.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie: I have had it with Eric. He took my TV, my hairdryer and my room. I am in crisis.
Kelly: You sound like you're on 'Thirtysomething.'

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Lisa: Yeah, 'I have all these problems and there's no-one ever there for me. I talk and talk and talk but no-one ever listens.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie: If any of you sweeties dares bid on my Slater I'll hunt you down in the street like a rabid dog.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie: Your understanding of politics is limited to who won the election on 'Sesame Street'.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Lisa: Girl, if I were Leslie I woulda slapped you until my hand hurt, and then I woulda slapped you for making it hurt.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Kelly: Who are you?
Screech: Oh, I'm, uh, I'm- Sinead O'Connor.
Kelly: That's a very famous name. You have a hit song in the charts, you know...?
Screech: Oh, uh, that's the other O'Connor. She's my niece. She learned from me.
Lisa: You taught her everything she knows?
Screech: Oh, that I did. Now she can clean toilets with the best of 'em.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie: Slater, since we're together, I think we should share the household chores.
Slater: Sure, you cook and I'll eat.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Belding: Zack, just because you always park your car in that same spot, does not mean it's official.
Zack: Then make it official, just like my seat in detention.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie: You macho pig.
Slater: Oink oink, baby.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Slater: You are a very strange person.
Screech: [flattered] Well, thanks for noticing.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
[Jessie and Slater are at war with each other]
Mr. Belding: I wanna know what's going on right now.
Jessie: [pointing to Slater] Ask brillo-head, he started it.
Mr. Belding: Well, Brillo-He - I mean, Slater...

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Slater: Ok, Preppie. While you're treading cola, Kelly and I are going to the beach.
Zack: Kelly, this news disappoints me verily! I thought you and I could go over some more lines from "Romeo and Juliet".
Kelly: Oh that's a good idea, Zack. Sorry, Slater.
Slater: What? I don't believe this. You'd rather study than go to the beach?
Zack: Parting is such sweet sorrow... chump.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Slater: Hey, mama, wanna have a burger with a real man?
Jessie: Sure, I'll go find one.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Slater: What's the matter, Dad?
Slater: My C.O. went A.W.O.L. with a G.L. from the P.X. I gotta go A.S.A.P. C U, A.C.
Zack: You guys sound like an eye chart.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell