Saved by the Bell Quotes

Kelly: Okay, so when do we start?
Screech: Well, tonight, but it has to be at my place. I'm not allowed out after ALF.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Max: How about four friends, with a Screech on the side?

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Tuttle: You gave away your inventory? The goal of this project is to run a successful business.
Zack: We'd rather be friends.
Mr. Tuttle: I see.
Lisa: So, we're ready for whatever grades you wanna give us.
Jessie: But please don't make it too low. I hyperventilate.
Mr. Tuttle: Spano, raise that chin. [as the students hum "Glory, Glory Hallelujah" before the song itself is heard in the background] If you learn that it was a mistake for a company to be cold, calculating, and cutthroat, if you learned that it's better to be happy, healthful, and humane, why, then you've learned the best business lesson of all. You all get an A!
[Zack and his friends all cheer and hi-5]

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: So I can watch The Young and the Restless.
Jessie: It's more the Blonde and the Useless.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Screech: You homewrecker stay away from my mommy!
Slater: She's not your mommy!
Screech: Is that true, daddy?
Zack: I'm not your daddy!
Screech: I'm an orphan.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie: Slater, haven't you heard of the Women's Movement?
Slater: Sure...Put on something cute and MOVE it into the kitchen.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Lisa: Lisa no en casa.
Screech: I love it when you speak German!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie: Slater, since we're together, I think we should share the household chores.
Slater: Sure, you cook and I'll eat

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie: You macho pig.
Slater: Oink Oink baby

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Belding: Do you boys take these girls to be your school wives?
Zack: Oh, you bet!
Slater: I guess.
Screech: WHA-HOO!
Mr. Belding: That's what Mrs. Belding said when we got married. Girls?
Kelly: I do.
Jesse: I do.
Lisa: I don't.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Dewey: You make light of algebra now, but when you're all grown up and your friends are making logarithm jokes at cocktail parties, you won't have a clue as to what everybody's laughing at.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Lisa: On behalf of the new student body president: Jessica Myrtle Spano!
Class: Myrtle???

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie: I'm interested in the student body.
Zack: I'm interested in a student body... (looks at Kelly) Hers.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie (on Zack's propaganda video): That made a mocracy of demockery!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Lisa (on Jessie's campaign for school president): I'm going to tell you this as gently as I can - you're going down the toilet.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Kelly: He is the kind of boy every girl dreams of.
Kelly and Jessie: Great Looking, smart and funny. Yes, that's Zack Morris.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack (on tape): Zack Morris is a ten.
Kelly: Ha! Two fives is more like it!
Lisa (subliminally tricked into falling for Screech): I'm stuck with three and seven left.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack (on tape): Zack Morris is a blonde Tom Cruise.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Belding: [while putting on buttoned sweater] I'm taking a different approach with you, Zack.
Zack: [Observes Belding's sweater] So you're gonna be "Mr. Rogers"?
Mr. Belding: You're in the neighborhood.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: Alright, maybe the first day didn't turn out as I planned, but hey I'm just warming up. I love school. Too bad classes get in the way.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Dewey: O.K. settle down everyone, I'm Mr. Dewey how was everyone's summer, mine stunk let's get started.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: We weren't arguing.
Slater: We were doing a math problem, how two and one won't go.
Mr. Dewey: I don't believe it and I don't care, I'm tired, I have a toothache and I have to go home and pump iron.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: Hi, you're new here. I'm Zack Morris.
Slater: And I'm Roger Rabbit, so what?

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Slater: (to Kelly) (putting onion ring on her finger) I think we're engaged.
Kelly: I think I'm gonna cry.
Zack: That makes two of us.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Belding: I didn't start it, you started when you planted poison ivy on our football field.
Mr. Stingwell: That was kind of rash, wasn't it?

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Zack: Every time I call her she's washing her hair! Who washes their hair six times a day?
Slater: You do!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Mr. Belding: Now Zack, I know that you and Lisa are in charge of decorations, but this year's theme is not going to be (holds up a banner) Zack and Kelly's Prom!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Jessie: I think it's reverse macho pigism and I don't like it.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Kelly: (sadly) This is the first time I ever lied to my father.

TV Show: Saved by the Bell
Screech: Forget going to the prom! We're through!
Lisa: Wait a minute. You're not supposed to dump me. I'M supposed to dump YOU!

TV Show: Saved by the Bell