Laverne and Shirley Quotes
Lenny: So, me and Squiggy flipped a coin to see which one of us was gonna volunteer to be your husband.
Laverne: Awwww, and you lost, huh?
Lenny: No, I won.
Laverne: Awwww, and you lost, huh?
Lenny: No, I won.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Lenny: Now, Kosnowski's a pretty good last name Laverne. I had it practically all my life. My grandfather told me it means 'Help, there's a hog in my kitchen!'.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Lenny: I'm gonna make a good living. Plus, I'll practically never hit you or nothin'...
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: No thank you. I'd rather sell my body to science.
Rosie: Who else would buy it, DeFazio?
Rosie: Who else would buy it, DeFazio?
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: What kind of guys give girls dimes to dance?
Laverne: Guys with small change.
Laverne: Guys with small change.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: [To Shirley, after seeing her stuffed chest] Look at you! You're all... swelled up! What do you, got the mumps?
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: I'm shaving my legs. This ugly stubble is showing through my nylons.
Laverne: Ugly stubble, huh? That's what holds my nylons up!
Laverne: Ugly stubble, huh? That's what holds my nylons up!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: You got nylons? All I got was a glow-in-the-dark snow scraper.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: Hair all grungy, full of goo, shake and brush out, Quicky Poo!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: We're suing! We're suing Quicky Poo, we're suing that TV station, and we're suing Kukla, Fran and Ollie !
Laverne: Sue Kukla and Fran, but not Ollie, I like Ollie.
Laverne: Sue Kukla and Fran, but not Ollie, I like Ollie.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: Where am I going to get water?
Shirley: I don't know, just get me some water from SOME place!
[Laverne looks towards the toilet and smiles]
Shirley: Don't even think about it.
Shirley: I don't know, just get me some water from SOME place!
[Laverne looks towards the toilet and smiles]
Shirley: Don't even think about it.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Lenny and Squiggy: [In unison] Fire, fire, fire, someone get the net! Here come the firemen, to get the fire wet!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: We won't go out with just any old creep!
Laverne: Yeah, only those who ask us!
Laverne: Yeah, only those who ask us!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: Excuse me. But how do you say meatloaf in french?
Waiter: (rolling eyes) You Don't.
The gang searches for it on the menu: Youdon't...Youdon't.
Waiter: (rolling eyes) You Don't.
The gang searches for it on the menu: Youdon't...Youdon't.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: Hey, Len, I'll trade you a brain for a chop.
Lenny: Now what am I going to do with a brain?
Lenny: Now what am I going to do with a brain?
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: Charles Pfister Krane has a reputation!
Squiggy: So does my sister.
Squiggy: So does my sister.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: Laverne, I'm telling you, flying is safer than driving! Nobody has ever crashed into a cloud!
Laverne: Yeah, well nobody ever fell 40,000 feet from a DeSoto either.
Laverne: Yeah, well nobody ever fell 40,000 feet from a DeSoto either.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: Does anybody have any hobbies they'd like to share with us? stamp collecting? coin collecting? Flying large aircraft?
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Lenny: Boy, am I going to dream about her tonight!
Squiggy: Just don't make those gurgley sounds...
Squiggy: Just don't make those gurgley sounds...
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: My neck moved!!
Lenny: No, it didn't, it's right under your head.
Lenny: No, it didn't, it's right under your head.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Judge: This is the third time they've been in this week!
Lenny: This is really good though! He's got internal bleeding, check his pockets!
Lenny: This is really good though! He's got internal bleeding, check his pockets!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: You marry a man with a square head, no neck, and hair on his thumbs, you know what your kids are gonna turn out like?
Squiggy: Hello!
Squiggy: Hello!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley