Laverne and Shirley Quotes
Edna: Well, where you're going is nice too.
Shirley: Yes... Detroit is lovely this time of year.
Shirley: Yes... Detroit is lovely this time of year.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: If you ever lay your hands on our money again, I'll tell everyone you never vo-de-oh-doh-doh-ed!
Lenny: Oh yeah? I got witnesses!
Lenny: Oh yeah? I got witnesses!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: Uniforms? To sell shoes?
Laverne: Well, I love uniforms!
Shirley: You're thinking of sailors.
Laverne: I'm always thinking of sailors.
Laverne: Well, I love uniforms!
Shirley: You're thinking of sailors.
Laverne: I'm always thinking of sailors.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Ensign Benson: Is anybody sitting here?
Shirley: Nobody but you, mister.
Shirley: Nobody but you, mister.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Lenny: Shirl, you are a saint.
Squiggy: She's better than a saint, she's a... pope.
Squiggy: She's better than a saint, she's a... pope.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: Go get some blankets from the bedroom.
Lenny & Squiggy: [Excitedly] Bedroom!!
Lenny & Squiggy: [Excitedly] Bedroom!!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: C'mon guys, I gotta get her out of these wet clothes.
Squiggy: Okay, start with the shirt and do it slow...
Squiggy: Okay, start with the shirt and do it slow...
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Rosie: What do you know about fixing Cadillacs?
Lenny: Listen, what I don't know about cars you could fit in a manual.
Lenny: Listen, what I don't know about cars you could fit in a manual.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Rosie: Come off of it, Shirley. Famous people do not dine with bimbos.
Laverne: Why not? You told me the mayor dined with you.
Laverne: Why not? You told me the mayor dined with you.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: The mad hatter did not wear fishnet stockings!
Laverne: Well, that's why he didn't get any action!
Laverne: Well, that's why he didn't get any action!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Edna: [To Frank] Quit complaining, you could look a lot worse.
Squiggy: Hello!
Squiggy: Hello!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: [After learning that she might be having her appendix removed] I promised myself I'd remain intact until my wedding night, if you know what I mean...
Laverne: Shirl, guys don't care if you lose your appendix!
Laverne: Shirl, guys don't care if you lose your appendix!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Doctor: I need to get something before I can leave here.
Laverne: You got it!
[Laverne plants a big kiss on his lips.]
Doctor: Wow, that was nice. But what I really needed was...
Laverne: [Interrupting] Now? In front of these people?
Laverne: You got it!
[Laverne plants a big kiss on his lips.]
Doctor: Wow, that was nice. But what I really needed was...
Laverne: [Interrupting] Now? In front of these people?
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: [Explaining why the Braves' losing streak led to them being laid off] Let me explain it to you again. If the Braves don't play so good, then people don't go to games. If people don't go to games, then Shotz can't sell them beer. Do you got that?
Shirley: Then why don't they just lay off the Braves?
Shirley: Then why don't they just lay off the Braves?
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: I hate to go down to unemployment. It's embarrassing down there. Everybody down there knows you don't have a job.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: We'll have fun down at unemployment. We'll meet guys.
Shirley: Unemployed guys.
Laverne: I happened to meet a doctor there once.
Shirley: I want you to think about that for a minute, Laverne. Why would a doctor be unemployed, hmmm?
Laverne: He was so good... he cured everybody.
Shirley: Unemployed guys.
Laverne: I happened to meet a doctor there once.
Shirley: I want you to think about that for a minute, Laverne. Why would a doctor be unemployed, hmmm?
Laverne: He was so good... he cured everybody.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: There is nothing more despicable to me than this place.
Squiggy: Hello!
Squiggy: Hello!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: Lenny and me is working on the world's first combination electric toothbrush and radio. We call it the radio-brush. You'll be able to dance away your tooth decay!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Lenny: People are going to finally start brushing their teeth once a week like they ought to!
Shirley: This may come as a shock to you, but I brush my teeth after every meal.
Lenny: That's poor oral hygiene, Shirl. You're gonna wear them right down to the nub.
Shirley: This may come as a shock to you, but I brush my teeth after every meal.
Lenny: That's poor oral hygiene, Shirl. You're gonna wear them right down to the nub.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: Go ahead and laugh. Just like they laughed at Columbus right before he discovered Ohio.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: Those boys have got the right idea. We should try making money at what we really love to do.
Laverne: I think we'd get arrested for that, Shirl.
Laverne: I think we'd get arrested for that, Shirl.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: What's with all the tropical flora?
Lenny: Didn't you used to go out with her?
Squiggy: No, that was Theresa DeFluca
Lenny: Didn't you used to go out with her?
Squiggy: No, that was Theresa DeFluca
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: Do you know what? Girls love plants.
Squiggy: What do you do, you wait for them to lie down, and then kind of rub it all over their bodies?
Squiggy: What do you do, you wait for them to lie down, and then kind of rub it all over their bodies?
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: How about you, Len? You like girls, too, huh?
Lenny: Sure. Hey, if I get a bigger plant then him, will I get bigger women?
Lenny: Sure. Hey, if I get a bigger plant then him, will I get bigger women?
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: I'll be the foreigner. Herbie Shoole once said I looked French.
Shirley: Herbie Shoole said you kissed French.
Shirley: Herbie Shoole said you kissed French.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: What'd you have to do to him? [Carmine]
Shirley: Nothin'. Some guys are just natural gentlemen.
[Lenny and Squiggy burst through the door.]
Shirley: Nothin'. Some guys are just natural gentlemen.
[Lenny and Squiggy burst through the door.]
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: Alright, I'll just have to figure out some other way to keep people warm during the party, let me see... blankets, blankets would be good...
Laverne: Oh, I like blankets, then we can all get under 'em!
Laverne: Oh, I like blankets, then we can all get under 'em!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Lenny: [After he and Amy kiss] I liked the part when you said 'whisper'!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley