I Love Lucy Quotes

Ethel Mertz: I refuse to go anywhere with someone who thinks I am a hippopotamus.
Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, is this true?
Lucy Ricardo: No, I just implied that she was a little hippy... though she has got the biggest potamus I've ever seen.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: [in charge of operetta to benefit the club she and Ethel are in, which doesn't know that there is no money in its account because Lucy has been borrowing from it] Well, we could save money by writing the operetta ourselves.
Ethel Mertz: We? Who's we?
Lucy Ricardo: We is Ethel Romberg and Lucy Friml, that's who we is.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ricky Ricardo: I don't like that tone. You are thinking again.
Lucy Ricardo: There's no law about me going to Romanov's. Perhaps maybe stopping by your table and...
Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, if I so much as see your face at Romanov's, I'm gonna wrap you up in brown paper and mail you back to New York. And that's an ultimatum.
Ethel Mertz: An ultimatum? I'm not surprised.
Lucy Ricardo: I am. I didn't think he knew how to pronounce it.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ricky Ricardo: Look, all I know is that Columbus discovered Ohio in 1776.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ricky Ricardo: Lucy's actin' crazy.
Fred Mertz: Crazy for Lucy, or crazy for ordinary people?

TV Show: I Love Lucy
[Ricky and Lucy are doing a show together]
Ricky Ricardo: Hey, Lucy, did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Lucy Ricardo: I'll bet some heel started it.
Ricky Ricardo: You're supposed to say, What happened?
Lucy Ricardo: What's that?
Ricky Ricardo: What happened?
Lucy Ricardo: 200 soles were lost.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
  • Lucy, you've got some 'splainin to do!
  • Ai-yai-yai-yai-yai!
  • Lucy, what do you have to say for yourself?
  • And as I recall, it was till death do us part. That event is about to take place right now!!
  • Mira que tiene cosa la mujer esta... (Look what this woman has done...)
  • Mira que tiene cosa la loco mujer esta... (Look what this crazy woman has done...)

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ethel: Sing something.
Ricky: I couldn't.
Lucy: Let's neck.
Ricky: Wait a minute, I'll sing.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ethel: We can always call the zoo and order a couple of dancing bears.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Fred: Yeah with all that champagne, even Ethel might look good.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy: We must know two men who are single and attractive. [Lucy and Ethel pause to think] Two men who are single. [pause] Two men. [pause] A boy and a dog.
Ethel: Maybe we should settle for Little Boy Blue and Peter Cottontail.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy: Ethel and I are going dancing at the Copa.
Ricky: I hope one of you knows how to lead.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ethel: I think a tuxedo is the best looking thing a man can wear.
Fred: Unless he's wearing boxing trunks.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ricky: Everybody knows you can get around a lady with a little sweet talk.
Fred: That's alright for Lucy, but it's a little longer trip around Ethel.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Fred: I'd like you to join me in commemoration of an eighteen year-old tragedy.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy[to Ethel about her marriage] Ever since we said "I do," there are so many things we don't.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ethel: Here, you missed something on this one.
Lucy: That's the design.
Ethel: It is?
Lucy: Sure, can't you see. Flowers against a background of (scratches plate with nail) gravy.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ricky: That's the reason I married you - because you're so different than anyone I've known in Cuba.
Lucy: Who'd you know in Cuba?

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy[looks at cards]: My, this is a problem.
Ricky: Honey, please, you're holding up the game.
Lucy: Well, I can't decide whether to throw away my two queens or my three kings.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ethel[explaining poker to Lucy]: It's a lot like hearts, only you bet, and there isn't any old maid.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ethel[reading from 'Dr. Spoc's' book]: If he hunts, take up hunting. If he fishes, take up fishing. If he golfs, take up golfing.
Lucy: Ricky plays poker. I'll have to take up poking.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Announcer: (during the credits) The part of Harold was played by Mr. John Emery. Freddie Fillmore was played by Mr. Frank Nelson.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy: Mr. Maryweather, I'd like to present Madame Ethel Mertzola. She's going to be our medium tonight. She's psychopathic!

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ethel: I shall now contact Tilly! [in a monotone voice] Ethel to Tilly, Ethel to Tilly. Come in, Tilly. Over.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
[Lucy accidentally sneezes]
Mr. Maryweather: Tilly! Tilly, is that you?
Lucy: Yes, it's me Tilly.
Mr. Maryweather: But Tilly, that sneeze. Are you sick?
Lucy: Sick? I'm dead!
Mr. Maryweather: Oh, that's right.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
[Lucy gets too close to the fireplace]
Lucy: Ow!
Mr. Maryweather: What's the matter?
Lucy: I burned myself. It's awfully hot here.
Mr. Maryweather: Oh, that's where you are! Oh Tilly, I'm so disappointed in you.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ethel: My trance is wearing off, I think you better hang up now.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy: Ethel, you underestimate your transmitter!

TV Show: I Love Lucy
[after many takes - and many spoonfuls of Vitameatavegamin (containing alcohol)]
Lucy Ricardo: Well, I'm your Vitavigavegivat Girl. Are you tired, run down, listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? [pause]
Lucy Ricardo: Well, are you? The answer to all your problems is in this little ol' bottle, Vitameatavegamin. [Checks the bottle label]
Lucy Ricardo: That's it. Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, megetables and vinerals. So why don't you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitaveatyvemeanyminimoe. I'll tell you what you have to do. You have to take a whole tablespoonful after every meal. It's so tasty too. It's just like candy. [Takes a bit of time, if not too much, trying to sample the liquid. Finally... ]
Lucy Ricardo: So everybody get a bottle of... [pointing at the bottle]
Lucy Ricardo: this stuff.

TV Show: I Love Lucy
[after seeing Ethel in a tight leopard print dress]
Fred Mertz: I was waiting for Ethel to say Trick or Treat!

TV Show: I Love Lucy