I Love Lucy Quotes
Ricky Ricardo: What do you know about rice?
Fred Mertz: Well, I had it thrown at me on one of the darkest days in my life.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Ricky Ricardo: Why are we whispering?
Lucy Ricardo: If my feet find out this was my idea, they'll kill me.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: [a large woman has just sat on Lucy] Madam, it doesn't seem to be getting through to you, but this seat is taken.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: [at false seance, introducing Ethel in disguise] This is Madam Ethel Mertzola. She'll be our medium tonight. She's psychopathic.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: [in charge of operetta to benefit the club she and Ethel are in, which doesn't know that there is no money in its account because Lucy has been borrowing from it] Well, we could save money by writing the operetta ourselves.
Ethel Mertz: We? Who's we?
Lucy Ricardo: We is Ethel Romberg and Lucy Friml, that's who we is.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: [listening to a doctor's diagnosis] I got the Gobloots from a Blu-Shoo bird?
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: [Lucy does not want to meet William Holden after an embarrassing incident at the Brown Derby] He never did appeal to me.
Ricky Ricardo: What are you talking about? The whole way here I heard nothing but "Bill Holden, Bill Holden."
Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, well... I'm fickle.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: [Lucy gets caught spying on the neighbors] I was, uh... bird-watching!
Ricky Ricardo: Bird-watching?
Lucy Ricardo: Uh, yeah! Do you know that there's a yellow-bellied woodpecker on our lawn?
Ricky Ricardo: No, but I know that there's a red-headed cuckoo in the living room.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: [talking to Ethyl about Ricky] He's put his foot down so many times, I feel like I'm married to a cuban centipede.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: Ah, that must be my good friend Ethel. Don't get up Fredrick, I'll get it.
Fred Mertz: Get it? I was gonna lock it!
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: Did I get any suntan?
Ricky Ricardo: No.
Lucy Ricardo: Oh, darn it.
Ricky Ricardo: [with his thick accent] Honey, why don't you forget about getting a suntan. You always get burned with your fair skin.
Lucy Ricardo: My fur skin?
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: Ethel was just up here and she made me so darn mad.
Ricky Ricardo: What now?
Lucy Ricardo: She said they're going to hold us to our lease. We have to pay them five month's rent before we can leave. I guess we're stuck here.
Ricky Ricardo: Well, now, that all depends.
Lucy Ricardo: On what?
Ricky Ricardo: On whether we can break the lease or not. We are going to become the two most unpleasant, disagreeable nasty people in the whole world.
Lucy Ricardo: How?
Ricky Ricardo: We'll force ourselves.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: Ever since we said "I do", there have been so many things that we don't.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: Hey, Ethel. Guess what Ricky got me!
Ethel Mertz: Um... let's see. A hat? A new dress?
Lucy Ricardo: Oh Ethel better! Think about what every woman wants from her husband!
Ethel Mertz: A divorce?
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: How much do you want to bet?
Fred Mertz: Ten dollars.
Ethel Mertz: Well what's the matter with twenty dollars?
Ricky Ricardo: What's the matter with thirty dollars?
Lucy Ricardo: What's the matter with fifty dollars?
Fred Mertz: What was the matter with ten dollars?
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: How would you feel if Fred was smoldering with jealousy?
Ethel Mertz: Fred wouldn't smolder if he banged into a blowtorch.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: I want the names to be unique and euphonious.
Ricky Ricardo: Okay. Unique if it's a boy, and Euphonious if it's a girl.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: I wish there were a place to sit where we could see both sides.
Bus Driver: There is.
Lucy Ricardo: Where?
Bus Driver: I can strap you to the front of the bus.
Lucy Ricardo: Well.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: I'd just love a Richard Widmark grapefruit to go with my Robert Taylor orange.
Ethel Mertz: What a fruit salad that would make.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: If some other woman were to take Fred away from you, you'd be singing a different tune, too.
Ethel Mertz: Yeah, "Happy Days Are Here Again".
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: It's all your fault.
Ricky Ricardo: My fault?
Lucy Ricardo: Yes. Yelling all those crazy things at me.
Ricky Ricardo: That was diner talk. Like Fred did.
Lucy Ricardo: Yeah well, [about to cry]
Lucy Ricardo: the next time you want hamburgers without onions, ask for hamburgers without onions. Don't stand there and yell, "Bring the bull in the ring and laugh in his face!"
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: It's seventy-nine cents a pound.
Customer: How can you sell meat so cheap?
Lucy Ricardo: I'm glad you asked that. We rope, we brand, we butcher. We do everything but eat it for you. Seventy-nine cents a pound.
TV Show: I Love Lucy
Lucy Ricardo: Lets see, it was either the upstairs maid or the butler
Ricky Ricardo: It was her husband
Lucy Ricardo: Her husband? He didn't have any reason to do it
Ricky Ricardo: He was married wasn't he
TV Show: I Love Lucy