Gossip Girl Quotes
Blair: So, I heard on Gossip Girl that you were having sex with Dan out here...in streaming video.
Serena: Oh, God. Kati and Is filmed us?
Blair: Well, it's not very high school musical scandalous. And no, they haven't streamed it...yet. But, I heard it was aggressive.
Serena: I must say, Dan has been surprisingly good at everything we've done.
Blair: Which is? Everything?
Serena: No! But, feel free to ask any personal questions.
Blair: But you've talked about it, right?
Serena: No, mom! We haven't.
Blair: May I remind you that this is your first real boyfriend, S. And in relationships, you talk about stuff.
Serena: I know, but, I don't know. Sometimes talking about it or planning it can ruin a good thing, you know?
Blair: I would know. Well, as long as you're not worried.
Serena: Well, I'm not. But, I don't know, he might be. Is it possible for a guy to want to slow things down?
Blair: Only the guys we like. (they both laugh) But with you, I can't imagine why.
Serena: Oh, God. Kati and Is filmed us?
Blair: Well, it's not very high school musical scandalous. And no, they haven't streamed it...yet. But, I heard it was aggressive.
Serena: I must say, Dan has been surprisingly good at everything we've done.
Blair: Which is? Everything?
Serena: No! But, feel free to ask any personal questions.
Blair: But you've talked about it, right?
Serena: No, mom! We haven't.
Blair: May I remind you that this is your first real boyfriend, S. And in relationships, you talk about stuff.
Serena: I know, but, I don't know. Sometimes talking about it or planning it can ruin a good thing, you know?
Blair: I would know. Well, as long as you're not worried.
Serena: Well, I'm not. But, I don't know, he might be. Is it possible for a guy to want to slow things down?
Blair: Only the guys we like. (they both laugh) But with you, I can't imagine why.
TV Show: Gossip Girl
Blair: (On the phone) Hi, this is Blair Waldorf, I was wondering if any of the pieces I put on hold today were picked up. The diamond necklace. Okay, thank you. (looking up at the ceiling) Thank you, thank you!
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Anne: May I remind you that it was your own rash actions that got us into this predicament.
Nate: We're in this predicament because Dad has a drug problem. I was trying to help him.
Anne: Then help him.
Nate: We're in this predicament because Dad has a drug problem. I was trying to help him.
Anne: Then help him.
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Nate: (about his mom) She wants me to give Blair her ring.
Chuck: What? You guys broke up.
Nate: Yeah, I know. I mean, wait, how did you know?
Chuck: Predictably, your ex ran the old, uh, grill-the-best-friend play.
Chuck: What? You guys broke up.
Nate: Yeah, I know. I mean, wait, how did you know?
Chuck: Predictably, your ex ran the old, uh, grill-the-best-friend play.
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Gossip Girl: Whoever thought monarchy was dead didn't realize it just changed zip codes. So, what will it be, Nate? Blair Waldorf's hand or your father's head?
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Chuck: Something as beautiful deserves to be seen on someone worthy of its beauty.
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Serena: Blair, stop. You can talk to me.
Blair: (crying) We ended it. I wanted to tell you, but a part of me thought that if I didn't say it out loud, then it wouldn't be true. It was my birthday wish for us to get back together, but now, I think it's really over.
Blair: (crying) We ended it. I wanted to tell you, but a part of me thought that if I didn't say it out loud, then it wouldn't be true. It was my birthday wish for us to get back together, but now, I think it's really over.
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Gossip Girl: Speak of the devil and he doth appear -- wearing his trademark scarf. Careful, B, hell hath no fury like a Chuck Bass scorned.
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Blair: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been...awhile since my last confession.
Priest: What troubles you, my child?
Blair: (sighs) After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly twenty minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a Speak-Easy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he's a total pig who'll act like it never happened, thank God.
Priest: Ahem.
Blair: Sorry. Truthfully, I'm not even Catholic.
Priest: (sarcastically) You don't say?
Blair: But losing my virginity to Chuck Bass? None of my friends will ever understand. I'm ready for my punishment. Whatever you and God think is fair. Flogging, fasting, putting that thing with the teeth around my thigh like Silas.
Priest: How about some food for thought instead? Don't drink, keep your clothes on, try avoiding those who might cause you to stray.
Blair: Oh, I plan to. Thank you, Father. That was very good advice. (gets up to leave but comes back) You don't grant birthday wishes, do you?
Priest: I'm a priest, not a genie.
Blair: Well, the next time you talk to Him, would you ask Him to send my boyfriend back to me?
Priest: What troubles you, my child?
Blair: (sighs) After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly twenty minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a Speak-Easy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he's a total pig who'll act like it never happened, thank God.
Priest: Ahem.
Blair: Sorry. Truthfully, I'm not even Catholic.
Priest: (sarcastically) You don't say?
Blair: But losing my virginity to Chuck Bass? None of my friends will ever understand. I'm ready for my punishment. Whatever you and God think is fair. Flogging, fasting, putting that thing with the teeth around my thigh like Silas.
Priest: How about some food for thought instead? Don't drink, keep your clothes on, try avoiding those who might cause you to stray.
Blair: Oh, I plan to. Thank you, Father. That was very good advice. (gets up to leave but comes back) You don't grant birthday wishes, do you?
Priest: I'm a priest, not a genie.
Blair: Well, the next time you talk to Him, would you ask Him to send my boyfriend back to me?
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Serena: Mom is such a hypocrite. And all these years, she's been riding me about my behavior.
Eric: And here, she's just mad at you for being her.
Dan: And all this time my dad has been giving me advice based on a girl he dated...a girl "a lot like Serena".
Jenny: Her mom.
Blair: If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your step dads.
Serena: Blair, can we not talk about my mom's appetite?
Dan: No, or who satisfied her.
Serena: That's just...
Dan, Jenny, Eric, and Serena: Gross!
Eric: And here, she's just mad at you for being her.
Dan: And all this time my dad has been giving me advice based on a girl he dated...a girl "a lot like Serena".
Jenny: Her mom.
Blair: If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your step dads.
Serena: Blair, can we not talk about my mom's appetite?
Dan: No, or who satisfied her.
Serena: That's just...
Dan, Jenny, Eric, and Serena: Gross!
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Rufus: So, you're not overreacting per se. You're just having a reaction that is so above and beyond what is appropriate.
Alison: I have been killing myself, trying to make up for what happened in Hudson.
Rufus: Which is not an overreaction, I might add.
Alison: And then I find out that the two of you are making out at a party.
Lily: Uh, it was hardly making out. And there's an explanation.
Alison: I have been killing myself, trying to make up for what happened in Hudson.
Rufus: Which is not an overreaction, I might add.
Alison: And then I find out that the two of you are making out at a party.
Lily: Uh, it was hardly making out. And there's an explanation.
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Serena: I don't want a bath.
Nate: Aw, too bad, Blair's direct orders.
Serena: Blair's not the boss of me.
Nate: Are you in here? Because Blair is the boss of all of us. Seriously, Serena, you smell like the floor of a brewery.
Serena: I do not!
Nate: Yes, you do.
Serena: Oh, my God. Yes, I do.
Nate: Yeah.
Serena: A brewery floor with a hint of second hand smoke.
Nate: And a pint of Old Spice.
Serena: I totally need a bath.
Nate: Yes, you do.
Serena: Blair's a bossy genius.
Nate: Yeah, she is.
Serena: (using the shower head as a mic) So, what about you?
Nate: What about me? I don't smell like an ashtray.
Serena: But you look like an ass-tray.
Nate: Aw, too bad, Blair's direct orders.
Serena: Blair's not the boss of me.
Nate: Are you in here? Because Blair is the boss of all of us. Seriously, Serena, you smell like the floor of a brewery.
Serena: I do not!
Nate: Yes, you do.
Serena: Oh, my God. Yes, I do.
Nate: Yeah.
Serena: A brewery floor with a hint of second hand smoke.
Nate: And a pint of Old Spice.
Serena: I totally need a bath.
Nate: Yes, you do.
Serena: Blair's a bossy genius.
Nate: Yeah, she is.
Serena: (using the shower head as a mic) So, what about you?
Nate: What about me? I don't smell like an ashtray.
Serena: But you look like an ass-tray.
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Lily: There's nothing wrong with having Chinese food on Thanksgiving.
Serena: What?!
Lily: Jews have been doing it on Christmas since forever. Look, a pumpkin! It's festive, yes?
Serena: We're gonna eat a pumpkin?
Serena: What?!
Lily: Jews have been doing it on Christmas since forever. Look, a pumpkin! It's festive, yes?
Serena: We're gonna eat a pumpkin?
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Gossip Girl: As per Gossip Girl Thanksgiving tradition, I'm trading my laptop for stove-top. And for the next sixteen hours, the only thing I'm dishing is seconds. When the cat's away, the mice will play. Have fun, little rodents!
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Gossip Girl: Spotted -- Chuck Bass losing something no one knew he had to begin with...his heart.
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Blair: What was that?
Chuck: I should ask you the same question. Perfect gentleman? Perfect date? That broken record was a hit last year. Get with the times, he bores you.
Blair: You almost made a fool of me in front of the New York Times. Which proves my very point: you can't be trusted. Nate is a gentleman. He would never cause a scene.
Chuck: Never get your blood going, either.
Blair: Speaking of going, that's what you should do. Carter Baizen is on his way here, right now.
Chuck: What? What the hell are you doing with Carter Baizen?
Blair: He left his jacket here yesterday and I'd rather you be gone when he got here. There have been enough scenes for today.
Chuck: I should ask you the same question. Perfect gentleman? Perfect date? That broken record was a hit last year. Get with the times, he bores you.
Blair: You almost made a fool of me in front of the New York Times. Which proves my very point: you can't be trusted. Nate is a gentleman. He would never cause a scene.
Chuck: Never get your blood going, either.
Blair: Speaking of going, that's what you should do. Carter Baizen is on his way here, right now.
Chuck: What? What the hell are you doing with Carter Baizen?
Blair: He left his jacket here yesterday and I'd rather you be gone when he got here. There have been enough scenes for today.
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Gossip Girl: This just in -- we hear there's a cold war brewing between Lonely Boy and a certain blue blood. We never thought we'd say this ourselves...
Serena: There you are. What's going on?
Dan: I'll tell you what's going on. I just became your escort to the ball.
Gossip Girl: But our money's on Brooklyn for the win.
Serena: There you are. What's going on?
Dan: I'll tell you what's going on. I just became your escort to the ball.
Gossip Girl: But our money's on Brooklyn for the win.
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Nate: I just don't get it. I organized everything the way she likes it. I mean, I even made sure my bow tie matched her dress.
Chuck: Like the book says, "She's just not that into you."
Chuck: Like the book says, "She's just not that into you."
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Gossip Girl: Serena van der Woodsen, looks like your invitation just arrived...with strings attached. Come out, come out wherever you are.
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Blair: What are you doing here, Nate?
Nate: Well, I, um... Look, you know, after rehearsal I just, uh, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I mean, the ball's something we've talked about doing together since we were, like ten years old. And I've given you every reason to hate me.
Blair: True. Keep going.
Nate: And the Prince, he's a great dancer and all. But, is there any chance you'd go with me instead? For old times' sake.
Blair: Nate, after what you pulled on my birthday, the only thing we should be doing together is moving on.
Nate: Yeah, I know. (pause) Look, I haven't worn this sweater since forever. I just pulled it off, and I found this. (shows Blair the heart pin)
Blair: It's my pin. I sewed it there so you would always have my heart on your sleeve.
Nate: I know. I figured you might want it back or something.
Blair: No! It was a gift. (considers Nate's offer) The Prince will understand. Maybe we should go to the ball together... as friends.
Nate: Absolutely.
Blair: But only as friends.
Nate: Just friends.
Nate: Well, I, um... Look, you know, after rehearsal I just, uh, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I mean, the ball's something we've talked about doing together since we were, like ten years old. And I've given you every reason to hate me.
Blair: True. Keep going.
Nate: And the Prince, he's a great dancer and all. But, is there any chance you'd go with me instead? For old times' sake.
Blair: Nate, after what you pulled on my birthday, the only thing we should be doing together is moving on.
Nate: Yeah, I know. (pause) Look, I haven't worn this sweater since forever. I just pulled it off, and I found this. (shows Blair the heart pin)
Blair: It's my pin. I sewed it there so you would always have my heart on your sleeve.
Nate: I know. I figured you might want it back or something.
Blair: No! It was a gift. (considers Nate's offer) The Prince will understand. Maybe we should go to the ball together... as friends.
Nate: Absolutely.
Blair: But only as friends.
Nate: Just friends.
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Gossip Girl: (about Blair) Looks like Daddy's girl isn't sugar and spice and everything nice after all.
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Dan: The arts and crafts were impressive, but how did you manage the real snow?
Serena: (laughs) I'm well connected.
Dan: This is, without question, the best Christmas ever.
Serena: Ever. In the history of Christmas.
Serena: (laughs) I'm well connected.
Dan: This is, without question, the best Christmas ever.
Serena: Ever. In the history of Christmas.
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Roman: Eleanor, we've been friends for a long time. Since before Marc Jacobs went into rehab.
Eleanor: Friends don't steal other friends' husbands.
Eleanor: Friends don't steal other friends' husbands.
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Blair: You know, I called you about an hour ago, BTW. You're late.
Serena: Um, you're lucky I'm even here at all. It's Christmas Eve and I still haven't found a gift for Dan. Now, all the stores are closing and I'm totally screwed. Do you have any idea what you can buy for under fifty dollars these days?
Blair: I don't know. A single entrée in a mid-price restaurant? Three-quarters of a DVD box set? Maybe a pair of Wilfrid stockings?
Serena: Oh, stockings! Yes! Great idea for Dan! Blair, please, this is serious.
Blair: I don't know, why don't you buy him a gold money clip for forty-nine, ninety-nine. He won't know the difference.
Serena: Um, you're lucky I'm even here at all. It's Christmas Eve and I still haven't found a gift for Dan. Now, all the stores are closing and I'm totally screwed. Do you have any idea what you can buy for under fifty dollars these days?
Blair: I don't know. A single entrée in a mid-price restaurant? Three-quarters of a DVD box set? Maybe a pair of Wilfrid stockings?
Serena: Oh, stockings! Yes! Great idea for Dan! Blair, please, this is serious.
Blair: I don't know, why don't you buy him a gold money clip for forty-nine, ninety-nine. He won't know the difference.
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Gossip Girl: Some families actually do make the Yuletide gay, managing to leave their troubles far away. (scene cuts to the Humphreys) Other families have a merry little Christmas even when their troubles aren't so far away. (scene cuts to the van der Woodsens) Some presents might end up getting returned. Some gifts are for keeps. (scene cuts to Rufus standing outside the Palace) Other presents come when you least expect them. (scene cuts back to Bart Bass down on one knee) And everyone knows the biggest present comes in the smallest box. (scene cuts to Blair picking up her phone to read Chuck's text message) Then there are those boxes you wish you had never opened. Have a holly, jolly Christmas! XOXO Gossip Girl.
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Chuck: How glad are you that our two families are merging together, sis?
Serena: So glad that if you ever call me that again it will be the last thing you ever say, Chuck!
Serena: So glad that if you ever call me that again it will be the last thing you ever say, Chuck!
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Gossip Girl: Who knew B and C were such patrons of the arts? Call it philanthropy or bribery, it looks like everyone has their price...
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Gossip Girl: Spotted -- Lonely Boy learning that when the punishment fits the crime, there's no reason you can't serve your sentence in style...
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