Gin Tama Quotes

[About Catherine]
Gintoki: Quite impressive. She doesn’t have our perverse sense of humor.

TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki: It may be tough now, but the worst is surely yet to come. Keep that in mind, and you’ll be fine.

TV Show: Gin Tama
Shinpachi: When my sister makes fried eggs, you see and taste things you can’t even imagine. Gin-san, did you know? There are some canned goods that smell so bad, even a cat wouldn’t go near them. They say that smelly things often taste good. Gin-san, did you know? When the Inuit catch a reindeer, they eat all the intestines and everything. I’ll bet it’s so soft and warm and delicious. And Gin-san, did you know? When a hawk catches a rat, it only eats it after taking it apart in its nest! I’ll be it’s soooo…there’s so many good things on this earth!

TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki: Well, it’s something like a big trash bin here. What I mean is, we’re really both like trash, you see…No, I suppose even trash is a little strong…More like, we’re snot of the same nostril…no, pots from the same mould…

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Shinpachi: There’s your culprit! What the hell’s with that glazed over sugar coma?!

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Gintoki: I know who did it. This is the culprit! [points to Kagura, and Kagura breaks his finger] What the hell was that for?
Kagura: People who tell unfunny jokes get their fingers broken.
Gintoki: Wrong! And I was going to show you a way to get back home free too!
Police: Well, deportation isn’t exactly free…

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Gintoki: She’d be fine, even if we threw her into space.
Kagura: I’m not a cockroach!
Gintoki: Watch your tone! Apologize to the poor cockroaches! They’re the most durable beings on the planet! Apologize to the cockroaches!

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Gintoki: [going down the stairs] My mouth tastes terrible! I guess you really shouldn’t drink anything sweet before going to bed…All right, I’ve finally climbed up the stairs to manhood! Wait, or did I climb down?! Eh? What am I talking about, all alone?

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[Shinpachi sees Gintoki and Catherine together]
Shinpachi: S-s-s-s-orry! I didn’t mean to interrupt your pleasurable night time encounter! Please, enjoy the concealment of the darkness to its fullest!
Gintoki: Oi.
Kagura: Ignorant mortals. Tremble before my power! Uwahahahaha!
Shinpachi: Are you sleepwalking? What kind of dream are you having? A shot glass and a cat?!
Kagura: Men’s lives are so puny…
Gintoki: Oi.
Shinpachi: [to Kagura] Where did this menacing tone come from?

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[3-Z, Ginpachi Sensei]
Gintoki: All right, listen up you guys. The story of sugar is that a lot of people got together, and went to the land of sugar! It was a long, long time ago.
Student: Sensei, that’s just a fairy tale!

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[Katsura rings the Yorozuya doorbell.]
Katsura: Excuse me? It's me, Katsura. [silence] No one home... And it's an emergency...
[Sadaharu opens the door. He and Katsura stare at each other for a second.]
Katsura: Uh... Excuse me, is Gintoki-kun home? I, uh, brought some bread rolls, so if you'd like to--
[Sadaharu bites Katsura's head.]

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Parent: I’m afraid she got mixed up in something terrible!
Gintoki: Yeah…there’s a chance…she could be mixed up in some giant…ham processing machine…

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Parent: I was thinking she got caught up in some kind of trouble…
Gintoki: Trouble? Oh, like ham trouble?

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[Looking for the missing girl, Kagura asks a bar owner if he’s seen her.]
Guy: Is there a name?
Kagura: Em…Hammy.
Guy: Don’t make stuff up! What kind of parents would name their kid that?
Kagura: I forgot, but no big deal…

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Gintoki: I can’t be bothered doing this. Let’s just buy some ham and pass it off as her.
Shinpachi: Who’re you trying to fool?! How long do you intend to use the ham joke?!

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Shinpachi: Hey! Pointless characters shouldn’t take up the whole scene!

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Gintoki: By whom should I swear? I’ll swear by the weather girl…

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Daraku: If there’s something in your way, kill it. Kill it and get outta here! There’s a drama on tonight that I have to watch.
Gintoki: Me too.

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Daraku: I’m not typically a guy who just hates people. But there are 3 types of people I can’t stand: The first is the guy who gets in the way of work; the second is a guy who doesn’t wash his hands in the restroom; the third is a dirty looking guy with a natural perm. You fit all the categories!

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Gintoki: Do you want me to tell you the three kinds of people I hate? First! Girls who fool around during preparations for a school festival! Second! Foolish boys who tag along with them, unnecessarily aroused! Third! Teachers who just go along with it, smiling serenely!
Daraku: Geez. All you’re saying is you hate school festivals. I bet you had a gloomy youth…
Gintoki: Not as bad as yours. Fooling around in a restroom at your age…still, what I like about you is that you look like a leaf that can’t dress right.

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Gintoki: I’m sorry that my stupid daughter caused you problems. I’ll just take her home and scold her. [he steps out of the bathroom to see a whole group of evil looking guys] Oi, oi, is everyone happily using the restroom together? There aren’t enough stalls.

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Katsura: Speaking of which, why were you there?
Gintoki: Speaking of which, who the hell were those guys?

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Gintoki: 'A person’s life is like carrying a heavy burden while walking a long road.' A long time ago, a guy named Tokugawa Nobuhide said that.
Katsura: What’s with the mixed names? It’s Lord Ieyasu, Lord Ieyasu!

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Gintoki: When I first heard it, I thought it sounded so lame. But I guess you can’t dismiss what old people say. It wasn’t a burden. It was something important that you held with both hands. But you didn’t realize it was there when you held it. I only realized its true weight after it slipped from my hands. I don’t know how often I thought, ‘I’ll never carry this again.’ But, all of a sudden, I’m feeling that weight again…If I really threw it all away, it’d be easier. But, regardless, I don’t feel like it. It would be too boring to keep walking without them.

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Katsura: Your right hand can’t carry the entire burden. From now on, I’m your left arm.

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Guy: Look, we don’t need guys like you.
Gintoki: [dressed in a space pirate outfit] How rude. We want to be pirates too! Take us with you! Right, Zura?
Katsura: It’s not Zura; it’s Captain Katsura.
Gintoki: We’re mischievous guys who’ve dreamt of becoming pirates ever since we were little. We’re looking for the secret treasure called ‘One Park’. Right, Zura?
Katsura: It’s not Zura; it’s Captain Katsura.
Guy: Whatever. Go find it yourselves.
Gintoki: Don’t say that. Look, my hand’s a hook. I can only be a pirate or a coat hanger now.

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Gintoki: [pointing his bokuto at the guy] At least give us an interview.
Katsura: [pointing his sword at the guy] Look, we even have resumes.

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[After saving Kagura]
Gintoki: Shit, the wound opened up. Um, excuse me, is this where the interview is being held? Good afternoon, my name is Sakata Gintoki. I want to apply for captain. My hobby is eating sweets. My skills include being able to sleep with my eyes open…

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Daraku: You’re Katsura!
Katsura: Wrong! I’m Captain Katsura!

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Gintoki: Listen, I don’t care what you guys do around the universe. This is my sword, and anywhere it can reach is my country! Bastards who come in and try to mess with my things…whether it be a general, whether it be space pirates, whether it be a meteorite…I’ll destroy them!

TV Show: Gin Tama