Gin Tama Quotes

Kagura: What are you doing in front of my shop, you little brats? Did someone drop some porn over there or something?
Kid: It’s the sukonbu girl!
Kid 2: Run! We’ll all start smelling like sukonbu!
Kagura: Go home and suck on your Mom’s teat.

TV Show: Gin Tama
Shinpachi: Did you buy the toilet paper?
Kagura: Here you go. [hands him one roll]
Shinpachi: Kagura-chan, don’t you usually buy a pack with a bunch of rolls in it? This won’t be enough if someone eats something disagreeable.
Kagura: Don’t complain. I’m doing you a favor. Who are you, my Mother-in-law? Once, a lonely samurai lived in the woods, and he didn’t have any toilet paper, so he…
Shinpachi: There’s no fable like that! Whom did you hear that from?
Kagura: Gin-chan told me.
Shinpachi: Don’t listen to what he says.
Gintoki: Shut up, all of you.

TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki: I thought I’d come pay this month’s rent…[camera pans to Sadaharu]
Otose: Yes, it’s certainly hot out today.
Gintoki: Please, I’m begging you! Surely this is worth a month’s rent!
Otose: I don’t need any Dog of Flanders!

TV Show: Gin Tama
Kagura: I’m not going to take that from some wet behind the ears brat!
Shinpachi: What’s that? You’re younger than me, aren’t you? [holds up the toilet paper roll for emphasis]
Gintoki: [staring at Sadaharu] Shinpachi, what’s that white thing?
Shinpachi: What does it look like? Toilet paper!
Gintoki: No, I meant that huge white thing.
Shinpachi: Huge or small, there's just one of it, so cut that... [turns to finally notice Sadaharu] Waaah! Where did this thing come from?!

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Kagura: Oh, I picked it up around back. Cute, isn’t it?
Gintoki: What do you mean, “picked it up”? If you’re going to get a pet, get one we can identify!
Kagura: Sadaharu.
Shinpachi: You just made that up! I can tell you just made that up!

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Gintoki: He’ll be fine. A sadaharu can make it just fine.
Shinpachi: Why are you calling it Sadaharu now?!
Gintoki: You understand why, Sadaha—[gets his head bitten by Sadaharu]

TV Show: Gin Tama
Assistant: First discovered in the M-78 galaxy, this is the ultra-giraffe. [camera shows giraffes styled after tokusatsu hero Ultra Seven]
Prince: Wow, it’s so tall! [gets picked up by it]
Assistant: But it eats people. [the Prince's bodyguards point their guns at the giraffes]
Assistant: This is the Iscandar Elephant, from the Diamond Nebula.
Prince: This one’s neat, too! [gets sucked into its trunk]
Assistant: Its trunk can stretch long distances, and it eats people. [the Prince's bodyguards point their guns at the elephant]
Assistant: This is the petit penguin, first discovered in the Lilliput Star System.
Prince: [staring at the penguin suspiciously] This one’s safe, isn’t it?
Assistant: That one does not eat people. [The prince gets attacked by a bear] But the bear that lives with it does.
Prince: Tell me that beforehand! [the Prince's bodyguards point their guns at the bear]

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Okita: Hijikata-san, why do we have to go looking for some animal?
Hijikata: I don’t really know, but I hear it’s an order from all the way up top.
Okita: We don’t even know what it looks like, so how are we supposed to find it?
Hijikata: Well, we have to be thorough…[is suddenly wearing a dog collar and leash] what the hell are you doing Sougou?!
Okita: Presenting you to one of the top men.
Hijikata: What kind of shit are you spouting, man?!!
Okita: End your sentences with “woof” if you would.
Hijikata: Fuck you!

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Gintoki: At any rate, I suppose I’ll let Shigeho stay here until we find him a new home.
Shinpachi: It’s Sadaharu, isn’t it?

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Gintoki: When a woman says something’s cute, a man just can’t trust it.

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Kagura: [picks up Sadaharu] What do I have to do? If you’ll only trust him as far as I can throw him, I can throw him as far as you want!

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[Kagura has thrown Sadaharu on Shinpachi and Gintoki]
Shinpachi: Move him, Kagura-chan.
Gintoki: I feel like I’m going to burst.
Kagura: So now you know how I feel…
Shinpachi: No, not that kind of feeling…

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Gintoki: It hurts! It feels like the chocolate I just ate is gonna make it’s debut on the puking circuit!

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Gintoki: That damn Sadaharu slobbered all over my Jump!
Kagura: He’s so cute, slobber and all!
Shinpachi: He peed all over Otsuu-chan’s debut CD!
Kagura: Sadaharu’s cuter than that Otsuu anyway!

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Gintoki: I’ve come to pay the rent.
Otose: What’s all this? There’s probably a camera around here somewhere, isn’t there?

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Gintoki: By learning a painful truth, a girl takes the first step towards womanhood, and a geeky fanboy will become a man.
Shinpachi: Are you talking about me?! Are you calling me a geeky fanboy?! I’ll never change!

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Shinpachi: Are you trying to stick me with him?
Gintoki: Well, your sister does have a stalker on her tail, right?
Shinpachi: You took care of that, Gin-san!
Gintoki: So I scratch your back, you scratch mine. This’ll work, as far as payment.
Shinpachi: Listen to me, dumbass!
Gintoki: [to Sadaharu] Don’t bite me.

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Otae: We already have one useless, pubescent boy living here, so taking on another would be…
Shinpachi: What do you mean, “useless”? And this is a dog!

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Shinpachi: He certainly looks cute, doesn’t he…
Gintoki: He must be a bio-weapon in the shape of a dog.

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Hijikata: So here you are.
Gintoki: What do you want? Shouldn’t you be at work? Trying to find someone to play with?
Hijikata: I’d never ask you to play with me, ever!

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Gintoki: I thought we settled our differences when we fought the other day.
Hijikata: Fine! Then we’ll just fight for fun this time!

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Gintoki: No way. I’m not giving him to you. Don’t forget that I don’t bend to the will of the Shinsengumi.
Hijikata: Fine, then I’ll bend you to my will, you troglodyte!

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Hijikata: Not good. What should we do, Sougou?
Okita: Well, Hijikata-san, if you’d just end your sentences with “woof”, then…
Hijikata: No way!

TV Show: Gin Tama
[Gintoki and Shinpachi have been hit by the Assistant driving Prince Hata around.]
Prince: What have you done?
Assistant: Calm down, prince. At any rate, [he jumps into the car's trunk] I have to find a time machine, and…
Prince: Hey, you’re the one who has to calm down! Wow, what’s this? [looking at Sadaharu]
Assistant: What is it, my prince?
Prince: Look at this!
Assistant: Did you find a time machine?

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Okita: [presents the dog collar] End your sentences with “woof”, Kondo-san.

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Gintoki: Thanks everyone, for supporting me all this time, but our fight will continue unto eternity!

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[After the previews and credits]
Gintoki as Ginpachi Sensei: Don’t think there’s gonna be an extra bit after every show!

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Gintoki: Wow, Bankai sure is nice. Maybe I’ll try it.
Ichigo Kurosaki: Wanna have a go, Gin-san?
Gintoki: Fine. I’ll take you up on that! Uwah! Uh, that’s not right.
Ichigo: Bwah!
Gintoki: Awah!
Ichigo: Dwah! EH??

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Shinpachi: [voiceover] Gin-san, Gin-san, did you see the game the other day?
Gintoki: [voiceover] Uh, yeah, I saw it.
Shinpachi: It sure was great, wasn’t it?
Gintoki: Yeah. I never thought we’d win.
Shinpachi: Win?
Gintoki: Yeah, the World Baseball Classic.
Shinpachi: No, I’m talking about the World Cup!
Gintoki: Oh, that.
Shinpachi: What do you mean, “oh that”? It’s all anyone’s talking about!
Gintoki: Never mind that. Why’re we airing an anime special when the whole world’s gaga about soccer? An hour long special at that!
Shinpachi: Don’t complain. Let’s just get started.

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Gintoki: Eh? Who cares if we try to mix things up some? You know what they say, all things change…being the only competitor means being the victor! Don’t get pissed off at me! If you think you can blame me and avoid responsibility, you’re way off! The night is crawling with demons! Listen up! What we need is this! [holds up strawberry milk] Yes, calcium. If we have enough calcium, we can do anything! Trouble with tests? Fighting with your parents? Some girl you like? Odiferous nethers? If you have enough calcium, all of these can be solved!

TV Show: Gin Tama