Friends Quotes
Phoebe: You know ? 9 out of 10 wedding end in divorce.
Ross: That's not true.
Phoebe: Yeah. You're right. where is the missus ?
Ross: That's not true.
Phoebe: Yeah. You're right. where is the missus ?
TV Show: Friends
Ross: How did you write this ?
Chandler: I stole from Monica and changed the name.
Ross: You can't do that.
Joey: If he goes first, he can.
Chandler: I stole from Monica and changed the name.
Ross: You can't do that.
Joey: If he goes first, he can.
TV Show: Friends
Ross: You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
Rachel: Well, in high school, that added up to head cheerleader.
Rachel: Well, in high school, that added up to head cheerleader.
TV Show: Friends
Mr. Bing: (coming on the stage in drag) Hello, darlings.
Chandler: And there's Daddy.
Chandler: And there's Daddy.
TV Show: Friends
Joey: Hey, Pheebs, check it out. (shows Phoebe he's wearing a lacy women's thong)
Phoebe: Hmm, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.
Phoebe: Hmm, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.
TV Show: Friends
[Chandler's parents meet up at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler's father is now a transvestite.]
Charles Bing: Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Nora Bing: Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Charles Bing: Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Nora Bing: Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
TV Show: Friends
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time we're all gonna be here in the coffee house as six single people ?
Phoebe: Why, what's happening to the coffee house ?!
Phoebe: Why, what's happening to the coffee house ?!
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: From now on it's gonna be the four of you guys and me and the Mrs. Little Woman. Wife. The old ball and chain.
Monica: Old ?
Chandler: Young hot ball and chain.
Monica: Old ?
Chandler: Young hot ball and chain.
TV Show: Friends
Ross: I need to talk to you about something.
Chandler: What's up ?
Ross: This may be a little awkward..
Chandler: Listen, if you wanna borrow money it's kind of a bad time. I'm buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Ross: No, it's not that. What I'm gonna say to you I'm not saying it as your friend, I'm saying it as Monica's older brother.
Chandler: But you're still my friend ?
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
Chandler: During this time, are you still my best man ?
Ross: Nope.
Chandler: Can I still call you Ross ?
Ross: Okay. You guys are getting married tomorrow and I couldn't be more thrilled for both of you. But as Monica's older brother I have to tell you this : If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down and kick your ass. [Chandler bursts out laughing] What ? I'm serious [Chandler laughs again] Hey dude ! Stop it okay ? I'm not kidding here !
Chandler: I hear what you're saying and thanks for the warning.
Ross: No problem.
Chandler: So we're friends again ?
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: You won't believe what Monica's older brother just said to me !
Chandler: What's up ?
Ross: This may be a little awkward..
Chandler: Listen, if you wanna borrow money it's kind of a bad time. I'm buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Ross: No, it's not that. What I'm gonna say to you I'm not saying it as your friend, I'm saying it as Monica's older brother.
Chandler: But you're still my friend ?
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
Chandler: During this time, are you still my best man ?
Ross: Nope.
Chandler: Can I still call you Ross ?
Ross: Okay. You guys are getting married tomorrow and I couldn't be more thrilled for both of you. But as Monica's older brother I have to tell you this : If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down and kick your ass. [Chandler bursts out laughing] What ? I'm serious [Chandler laughs again] Hey dude ! Stop it okay ? I'm not kidding here !
Chandler: I hear what you're saying and thanks for the warning.
Ross: No problem.
Chandler: So we're friends again ?
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: You won't believe what Monica's older brother just said to me !
TV Show: Friends
[The future in-laws, including Chandler's cross-dressing father Charles, are chatting.]
Judy Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He can't see the bride in the wedding dress.
Nora Bing: As I recall, when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Charles Bing: But that was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then.
Nora Bing: Honey, it isn't good luck.
Judy Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He can't see the bride in the wedding dress.
Nora Bing: As I recall, when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Charles Bing: But that was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then.
Nora Bing: Honey, it isn't good luck.
TV Show: Friends
[Best man Ross is walking down the aisle with bridesmaids Phoebe and Rachel.]
Ross: This is nice.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce!
Ross: This is nice.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce!
TV Show: Friends
Ross: Monica's pregnant!
Joey: Oh, my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?
Monica: Guys! I'm not pregnant.
Joey: Ah. [to Chandler] Slow swimmers?
Joey: Oh, my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?
Monica: Guys! I'm not pregnant.
Joey: Ah. [to Chandler] Slow swimmers?
TV Show: Friends
Mona: There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.
Joey: Tell me about it. I feel like I’m holding down the fort all by myself.
Joey: Tell me about it. I feel like I’m holding down the fort all by myself.
TV Show: Friends
[Rachel and Phoebe are checking out of a hotel.]
Rachel: Listen — y’know what, sir? For the last time, I don’t care what the computer says. We did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Joey: [arriving] Hey!
Phoebe: Oh! Joey, were you in our room last night?
Joey: No. [Phoebe gives the bill to Joey. Joey turns to the concierge.] I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Rachel: Listen — y’know what, sir? For the last time, I don’t care what the computer says. We did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Joey: [arriving] Hey!
Phoebe: Oh! Joey, were you in our room last night?
Joey: No. [Phoebe gives the bill to Joey. Joey turns to the concierge.] I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but I'm a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won't quit.
TV Show: Friends
Ross: Well, yeah, I think we should get married.
Rachel: Why? Because that's your answer to everything?
Ross: Come on, I mean, you don't even like eating alone. How are you gonna raise a baby on your own?
Rachel: I DO SO eat alone!
Ross: When?
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Ross: I don't know why you don't just admit it.
Rachel: Oh, please! You inhale your food!
Ross: I grew up with Monica! You didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!
Rachel: Why? Because that's your answer to everything?
Ross: Come on, I mean, you don't even like eating alone. How are you gonna raise a baby on your own?
Rachel: I DO SO eat alone!
Ross: When?
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Ross: I don't know why you don't just admit it.
Rachel: Oh, please! You inhale your food!
Ross: I grew up with Monica! You didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!
TV Show: Friends
Joey: [Talking to Monica over the phone because he and Phoebe mistakenly broke down Monica and Chandler's apartment door ] Hey Monica, Phoebe and I smelt gas coming from your apartment.
Monica: Oh my God! You have to get in there.
Joey: Yeah but you took away our keys, would it be okay if we say, broke your door down.
Monica: Yes! Yes! Just get in, break the door down whatever!]
Joey: Okay, we'll do that. [Gives thumbs up sign to Phoebe]
Monica: Oh my God! You have to get in there.
Joey: Yeah but you took away our keys, would it be okay if we say, broke your door down.
Monica: Yes! Yes! Just get in, break the door down whatever!]
Joey: Okay, we'll do that. [Gives thumbs up sign to Phoebe]
TV Show: Friends
Monica: [Arriving to the honeymoon hotel with Chandler and seeing that the honeymoon couple who got first class seats on the plane now get the honeymoon suite] No! No! No! You cannot do this to us again!
Man: Who are you?
Chandler: We're you 10 seconds later!
Monica: Everyone gives you special treatment because your on your honeymoon!The first class tickets, the honeymoon suite! No one cares that we're on our honeymoon!
Girl: Well take the suite if you want. [Hands them the keys] We don't need the stuff.
Man: We just wanna be together, were in love.
Chandler: Awwww... Well we need the stuff!
Man: Who are you?
Chandler: We're you 10 seconds later!
Monica: Everyone gives you special treatment because your on your honeymoon!The first class tickets, the honeymoon suite! No one cares that we're on our honeymoon!
Girl: Well take the suite if you want. [Hands them the keys] We don't need the stuff.
Man: We just wanna be together, were in love.
Chandler: Awwww... Well we need the stuff!
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: So, how was the honeymoon?
Monica: Oh, so much fun. But the best part is we met this incredible couple on the flight back.
Phoebe: That was the best part? [To Chandler] Good honeymooning, Tiger.
Monica: Oh, so much fun. But the best part is we met this incredible couple on the flight back.
Phoebe: That was the best part? [To Chandler] Good honeymooning, Tiger.
TV Show: Friends
Ross: I'm kind of going through a dry spell, sex wise...
Joey: oh, for like , months ?
Ross: Five to be.. Lying.. Six...
Joey: Six ? That's rough..
Ross: It's not all bad, I'm learning to appreciate the small things like the sound of a bird and like the colour of the sky .
Joey: The sky's blue ross and I had sex last night...
Joey: oh, for like , months ?
Ross: Five to be.. Lying.. Six...
Joey: Six ? That's rough..
Ross: It's not all bad, I'm learning to appreciate the small things like the sound of a bird and like the colour of the sky .
Joey: The sky's blue ross and I had sex last night...
TV Show: Friends
Joey: How did the date go ?
Ross: Great ! I'm across the street, having sex right now !!!
Ross: Great ! I'm across the street, having sex right now !!!
TV Show: Friends
Rachel: Monica, we need more candy.
Monica: What? There's only been like 4 kids!
Rachel: Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything.
Phoebe: No wonder you're pregnant.
Monica: What? There's only been like 4 kids!
Rachel: Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything.
Phoebe: No wonder you're pregnant.
TV Show: Friends
Monica: It was a pink bunny or no bunny at all.
Chandler: No bunny at all! ALWAYS NO BUNNY AT ALL!
Chandler: No bunny at all! ALWAYS NO BUNNY AT ALL!
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: Brenda, a bee! Yes! it's flown into your blouse and you'd better undo your buttons lest it sting you!
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but I'm really busy that day. I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun Bar Mitzvah.
TV Show: Friends
Dr. Green: [on the phone, which Rachel left on the counter] You never think of the consequences of your actions!
Joey: [picks up the phone] Hey! I do so think of the consequences of my actions... Yeah? Well... Shut up!
[Joey hangs up the phone angrily]
Joey: Stupid guy on my phone.
Joey: [picks up the phone] Hey! I do so think of the consequences of my actions... Yeah? Well... Shut up!
[Joey hangs up the phone angrily]
Joey: Stupid guy on my phone.
TV Show: Friends
Monica: Just so you know, I'm not gonna make a turkey this year.
Joey: What?
Monica: Phoebe doesn't eat turkey.
Joey: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals!
Joey: No, they're not! They're ugly and stupid and delicious! Besides, eating them is a tradition. It goes back to the very first Thanksgiving when the Indians sat down with the cowboys!
Rachel : Oh, right, that's when they had that big rodeo at Plymouth Rock!
Monica: It's not just Phoebe. Will's still on a diet, Chandler doesn't eat Thanksgiving food and Rachel's having her aversion to poultry!
Joey: She is?
Rachel: Yeah! Don't you remember? I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Yeah, but I thought it was just because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table!
Monica: It just doesn't seem worth it to make an entire turkey for just three people, okay? It's a lot of work!
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving with no turkey is like 4th of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!
Monica: All right, fine, if it means that much to you! But there's gonna be a ton left over!
Joey: No, there won't! I promise, I will finish that turkey!
Monica: Okay, you're telling me that you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?
Joey: That's right! 'Cause I'm a Tribbiani, and this is what we do! We may be not great thinkers, or world leaders, we don't read a lot, or run very fast... but damn it, we can eat!
Joey: What?
Monica: Phoebe doesn't eat turkey.
Joey: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals!
Joey: No, they're not! They're ugly and stupid and delicious! Besides, eating them is a tradition. It goes back to the very first Thanksgiving when the Indians sat down with the cowboys!
Rachel : Oh, right, that's when they had that big rodeo at Plymouth Rock!
Monica: It's not just Phoebe. Will's still on a diet, Chandler doesn't eat Thanksgiving food and Rachel's having her aversion to poultry!
Joey: She is?
Rachel: Yeah! Don't you remember? I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Yeah, but I thought it was just because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table!
Monica: It just doesn't seem worth it to make an entire turkey for just three people, okay? It's a lot of work!
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving with no turkey is like 4th of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!
Monica: All right, fine, if it means that much to you! But there's gonna be a ton left over!
Joey: No, there won't! I promise, I will finish that turkey!
Monica: Okay, you're telling me that you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?
Joey: That's right! 'Cause I'm a Tribbiani, and this is what we do! We may be not great thinkers, or world leaders, we don't read a lot, or run very fast... but damn it, we can eat!
TV Show: Friends