CSI - Crime Scene Investigation Quotes
Doc Robbins: Dismembering an adult male with this much precision and without cutting through the bone. 12 hours minimum.
Catherine: Half of a day. That's patience.
Doc Robbins: The, uh, patella was cleanly removed. And with one slice, the femur was separated from the tibia and the fibula. There's a perverse elegance to this butchery.
Catherine: Well, I'm not so sure I see it that way. A killer with knowledge of anatomy whose tool is a scalpel. I think that the butcher was a doctor.
Catherine: Half of a day. That's patience.
Doc Robbins: The, uh, patella was cleanly removed. And with one slice, the femur was separated from the tibia and the fibula. There's a perverse elegance to this butchery.
Catherine: Well, I'm not so sure I see it that way. A killer with knowledge of anatomy whose tool is a scalpel. I think that the butcher was a doctor.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: Sara?
Sara: Hmm?
Grissom: Do you have any duct tape in your kit?
Sara: Yeah, that's what I use to keep it together.
Sara: Hmm?
Grissom: Do you have any duct tape in your kit?
Sara: Yeah, that's what I use to keep it together.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Officer Formansky: Before this goes any deeper I wanna hear it from you, are you gonna try and screw me on this? [Grissom doesn't say anything] Well?
Grissom: Well, I guess that depends on whether or not I get stuck in traffic on the way to your hearing.
Grissom: Well, I guess that depends on whether or not I get stuck in traffic on the way to your hearing.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: We're mid-case. Why do we have to do this now?
Grissom: Well, unless I get this evaluation in, I'm gonna get written up.
Catherine: Okay. My goals...Oh, all right, okay, for starters, I'd like two consecutive nights off. I would like to cut my triples down to 10 instead of the usual 20, and I would love to find a reliable babysitter so I could have myself some kind of a personal life.
Grissom: You don't have a personal life?
Catherine: Write this down: I haven't had sex in six - no, seven months!
[Grissom stops writing on the evaluation and he looks at her]
Grissom: How can I help?
[Catherine's eyes widen]
Grissom: You... Advance, I mean. You... have any interest in changing sections in the lab? For instance.
Catherine: Gil, how do you do this? Honestly, how do you juggle scheduling and vacations and time...
Grissom: The goal of any supervisor is to teach someone to take his place someday.
Catherine: Are you goin' some place?
Grissom: You never know.
Catherine: Are you considering me?
Grissom: Why not? You're certainly qualified. [She gets up to leave] But a CSI who uses the DNA lab to establish her own paternity calls into question her judgement. Don't you think?
[He hands her the evaluation to sign and she thumbs through it]
Catherine: You left that out. Ar-are you covering for me?
Grissom: I believe that we dealt with this issue, handled it internally. As far as I'm concerned it's dead. And besides you'll never do it again. So, just sign your name by the red X.
Catherine: Before I sign, um... since we're putting all of our cards on the table there's something you should know, Sam Braun wrote me a check and I cashed it.
Grissom: For how much?<
Grissom: Well, unless I get this evaluation in, I'm gonna get written up.
Catherine: Okay. My goals...Oh, all right, okay, for starters, I'd like two consecutive nights off. I would like to cut my triples down to 10 instead of the usual 20, and I would love to find a reliable babysitter so I could have myself some kind of a personal life.
Grissom: You don't have a personal life?
Catherine: Write this down: I haven't had sex in six - no, seven months!
[Grissom stops writing on the evaluation and he looks at her]
Grissom: How can I help?
[Catherine's eyes widen]
Grissom: You... Advance, I mean. You... have any interest in changing sections in the lab? For instance.
Catherine: Gil, how do you do this? Honestly, how do you juggle scheduling and vacations and time...
Grissom: The goal of any supervisor is to teach someone to take his place someday.
Catherine: Are you goin' some place?
Grissom: You never know.
Catherine: Are you considering me?
Grissom: Why not? You're certainly qualified. [She gets up to leave] But a CSI who uses the DNA lab to establish her own paternity calls into question her judgement. Don't you think?
[He hands her the evaluation to sign and she thumbs through it]
Catherine: You left that out. Ar-are you covering for me?
Grissom: I believe that we dealt with this issue, handled it internally. As far as I'm concerned it's dead. And besides you'll never do it again. So, just sign your name by the red X.
Catherine: Before I sign, um... since we're putting all of our cards on the table there's something you should know, Sam Braun wrote me a check and I cashed it.
Grissom: For how much?<
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Analyzing the boxers found on the victim]
Catherine: Alright, what do those look like to you?
Greg: Semen stains.
Catherine: : Yeah.
Greg: Which on a man's underwear aren't exactly probative.
Catherine: No.
Greg: I can't tell you how long they've been there or how often the guy changes his shorts. You know, I knew guys who could go up to four days on one single pair of tighty whities.
Catherine: Thanks for puttin' that picture in my brain.
Catherine: Alright, what do those look like to you?
Greg: Semen stains.
Catherine: : Yeah.
Greg: Which on a man's underwear aren't exactly probative.
Catherine: No.
Greg: I can't tell you how long they've been there or how often the guy changes his shorts. You know, I knew guys who could go up to four days on one single pair of tighty whities.
Catherine: Thanks for puttin' that picture in my brain.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Drawing a sample from a cadaver's bladder]
Doc Robbins: Urine... you're out.
Catherine: Home pregnancy test, huh?
Doc Robbins: It's about 10 times cheaper than the brand sold by our medicial supply company. But just as accurate.
Catherine: Eye on the bottom line. I find that very---
Doc Robbins: Sexy?
Catherine: Prudent. But that was a good try.
Doc Robbins: Ah, plus sign. You know what that means.
Catherine: Who's yo daddy?
Doc Robbins: Urine... you're out.
Catherine: Home pregnancy test, huh?
Doc Robbins: It's about 10 times cheaper than the brand sold by our medicial supply company. But just as accurate.
Catherine: Eye on the bottom line. I find that very---
Doc Robbins: Sexy?
Catherine: Prudent. But that was a good try.
Doc Robbins: Ah, plus sign. You know what that means.
Catherine: Who's yo daddy?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: It's not as bad as it looks.
Sheriff Atwater: It never looks good when a suspect dies in custody.
Sheriff Atwater: It never looks good when a suspect dies in custody.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
(A little after Grissom was attacked by a suspect)
Catherine: You okay?
Grissom: : I'm fine. (she turns his head to the right to see his neck injury)
Catherine: Nasty. Kinda looks like a hickey. (Grissom makes a face and pushes her hand away) You wanna tell me what got this party started?
Grissom: I scraped his nails.
Catherine: That's it?
Catherine: You okay?
Grissom: : I'm fine. (she turns his head to the right to see his neck injury)
Catherine: Nasty. Kinda looks like a hickey. (Grissom makes a face and pushes her hand away) You wanna tell me what got this party started?
Grissom: I scraped his nails.
Catherine: That's it?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
(After finding a body in the ground)
Warrick: What do you think, Grissom? Been down here at least 3 years? (Grissom sniffs, around it)
Grissom: It's probably more than 3 years.
Brass: You're kiddin' me, right?
Grissom: Rule of thumb is if the skull smells bad it's usually under 3 years. But this one smells like dirt.
Warrick: What do you think, Grissom? Been down here at least 3 years? (Grissom sniffs, around it)
Grissom: It's probably more than 3 years.
Brass: You're kiddin' me, right?
Grissom: Rule of thumb is if the skull smells bad it's usually under 3 years. But this one smells like dirt.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Reading the high school newspaper and a column by the victim]
Nick: The lead story by editor and chief Sabrina Abernathy, entitled: "Varsity Hazing Ritual". Now listen to this: "The question is not whether the so called student athletes should be expelled, but whether or not they should be arrested."
Warrick: Why, what'd they do?
Nick: Apparently something with several hookers and alot of testosterone.
Greg: Whatever happened to toliet paper and trees?
Nick: The lead story by editor and chief Sabrina Abernathy, entitled: "Varsity Hazing Ritual". Now listen to this: "The question is not whether the so called student athletes should be expelled, but whether or not they should be arrested."
Warrick: Why, what'd they do?
Nick: Apparently something with several hookers and alot of testosterone.
Greg: Whatever happened to toliet paper and trees?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Grissom and Sara search suspect Craig Kaufman's room for evidence for something connecting to the false word EXVINS]
Craig: What are you looking for?
Sara: A six-letter word.
[Grissom finds a replica Tokarev gun among Craig's things]
Grissom: P-I-S-T-O-L? It's not the word we were looking for, but it's interesting.
Craig: What are you looking for?
Sara: A six-letter word.
[Grissom finds a replica Tokarev gun among Craig's things]
Grissom: P-I-S-T-O-L? It's not the word we were looking for, but it's interesting.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg: Everyone but the little guy was gettin' high and gettin' by. Daughter was on uppers, Mom's on downers and Grandma was on the cancer stick.
Catherine: Ritalin, Valium and Grandma's a liar.
Greg: Pants on fire.
Catherine: Ritalin, Valium and Grandma's a liar.
Greg: Pants on fire.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara (talking to a suspect about a broken mirror at the crime scene): You know that's seven years bad luck.
Brass: More like seven to ten.
Brass: More like seven to ten.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: So, it's gone from intentional to accidental to personal. Who have we got?
Warrick: Nick's girlfriend (Nick laughs)
Warrick: Nick's girlfriend (Nick laughs)
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
(About trace evidence)
Grissom: What's it used for?
Hodges: Mostly Greg-Sanders-Wear. Um, names, airband logos, inane sayings, anything that could be put on a t-shirt.
Grissom: What's it used for?
Hodges: Mostly Greg-Sanders-Wear. Um, names, airband logos, inane sayings, anything that could be put on a t-shirt.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom (to Craig after he doesn't say anything about letting Adam choke): Out of words?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Well, Rick Chilson did call Sabrina a "bitch" while we were talking.
Catherine: Charming.
Nick: Yeah, he's an ass, but his alibi checks out.
Catherine: Charming.
Nick: Yeah, he's an ass, but his alibi checks out.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: You know, Sam ... that word that you wrote on the floor ... you know, that's a really bad word.
Sam Abernathy: I hear it all the time. My grandma says it. (strikes a match and puts it out in the mug.) My mom says it. (strikes another match and puts it out in the mug.) And my sister says it. (strikes another match.) Well... she used to say it. (blows the match out and watches the smoke rise up from the burned match. He drops it into the mug)
Sam Abernathy: I hear it all the time. My grandma says it. (strikes a match and puts it out in the mug.) My mom says it. (strikes another match and puts it out in the mug.) And my sister says it. (strikes another match.) Well... she used to say it. (blows the match out and watches the smoke rise up from the burned match. He drops it into the mug)
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Grissom is driving next to Catherine who's running. The title theme from Chariots of Fire is playing from the SUV]
Catherine: [out of breath] What the hell kind of music is that?
Grissom: Inspiration.
Catherine: Sedative!
Grissom: Okay. [Grissom changes the song to a country one.] How's this?
Catherine: How 'bout something that doesn't twang?
[Grissoms changes it to "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" by Jet]
Catherine: [out of breath] What the hell kind of music is that?
Grissom: Inspiration.
Catherine: Sedative!
Grissom: Okay. [Grissom changes the song to a country one.] How's this?
Catherine: How 'bout something that doesn't twang?
[Grissoms changes it to "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" by Jet]
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Lieutenant Mendez: I just made Lieutenant. I've got nothing to prove.
Catherine: A man with nothing to prove. Now that would be a first.
Catherine: A man with nothing to prove. Now that would be a first.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Lieutenant Mendez: Those the best you got? [He points over to Grissom and Catherine]
Brass: Yeah, yeah, you got lucky.
Lt. Mendez: Well, if they're not I'll fly mine in.
Brass: Let me put it to you this way - I'd want them investigating my murder.
Brass: Yeah, yeah, you got lucky.
Lt. Mendez: Well, if they're not I'll fly mine in.
Brass: Let me put it to you this way - I'd want them investigating my murder.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: This is, like, a two- $300 la Perla Nightie, ripped to shreds.
Sara: Oh, looks comfortable.
Warrick: It's not designed to stay on that long.
Sara: Oh, looks comfortable.
Warrick: It's not designed to stay on that long.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
David [to Greg]: So, how was your run?
Greg: I'm still alive.
Greg: I'm still alive.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
(When a corpse found on the roadside turns out to be a LAPD SES officer)
Catherine: So much for the race.
Grissom: At least we didn't come last.
Catherine: So much for the race.
Grissom: At least we didn't come last.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
(After Grissom pulls the SUV off of the road during her run)
Catherine: What are you taking a leak? The follow car is supposed to stay with the runner! We've been training for months, man. 20 C.S.I.s, 120 miles.
Grissom: Don't blame me. Blame him. (shines his flashlight on a corpse)
Catherine: What are you taking a leak? The follow car is supposed to stay with the runner! We've been training for months, man. 20 C.S.I.s, 120 miles.
Grissom: Don't blame me. Blame him. (shines his flashlight on a corpse)
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: Sooner or later, everybody gets replaced.
Mendez: Talk to me when it happens to you.
Mendez: Talk to me when it happens to you.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: How many cops are in town this weekend?
Grissom: Twenty thousand. And the road is closed to civilians.
Catherine: Spring break with a badge. Well, this ought to be fun. Every suspect's in law enforcement.
Grissom: Twenty thousand. And the road is closed to civilians.
Catherine: Spring break with a badge. Well, this ought to be fun. Every suspect's in law enforcement.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Doc Robbins: Well, the race isn't the only reason these guys come to town. It's a good party.
Grissom: Too much running, too much partying?
Doc Robbins: L.A. S-E-S. They go all out.
Grissom: Work hard, play hard, die young, leave a good-looking corpse.
Grissom: Too much running, too much partying?
Doc Robbins: L.A. S-E-S. They go all out.
Grissom: Work hard, play hard, die young, leave a good-looking corpse.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Will Warshall: If I'm going to kill a guy, I'm not going to do it with twenty thousand cops around.
Catherine: Well ... sounds like you've been giving it some serious thought.
Will Warshall: Well, every cop does. My way? A sniper shot ... two hundred meters out. Coleman'd never even hear the "am" in "blam."
Catherine: Well ... sounds like you've been giving it some serious thought.
Will Warshall: Well, every cop does. My way? A sniper shot ... two hundred meters out. Coleman'd never even hear the "am" in "blam."
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation