Wizards of Waverly Place Quotes

Max: And then, I *trip out* from behind you, "HA!" with fake blood dripping down my pumpkin head.
Alex: Ugh. Everybody knows that pumpkins don't have blood, Max.
Max: Yes, they do, Alex. Where do you think they make the pies out of?
Alex: The inside stuff--
Justin: HALLOWEEN IS NOT ABOUT PUMPKINS or BLOOD or PIES. It's about life lessons.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: (singing) I am singing this whole song to learn a spell.
Harper: Learn a spell.
Alex: This is the thing that Justin does so well.
Harper: Does so well.
Alex: When I'm in a gym and need to scram I cast spell called Jackie Chan I'm singing this whole song and I learn spells. When I need something that's far away I cast a spell called (pauses and reads) "Grow legs and come my way."
Harper: It comes in handy if your lazy. Which you are and sometimes means your best friend you don't even care or thank me for the things like-
Alex: Harper!
Harper: (stops singing)
Alex: Is everything okay?
Harper: You mean because it didn't rhyme? I'll work on that.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: I can't believe you would something this stupid.
Max: Alex, I think we all believe I can do something this stupid.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Juliet: (licking a red substance that looks like blood from her hand)
Alex: Oh my gosh, she did it.
Harper: (gets a empty doughnut) The vampire took all of the jelly out of this doughnut!
Alex: And no weight gain because you're dead!
Harper: The jelly does kinda of look like blood.
Juliet: Yeah, that's why vampires carry jelly doughnuts.
Alex: (laughs) You're awesome.
Juliet: I know.
Alex: And I don't say that to any of my brother's girlfriends because they're all monsters. I mean there was a centaur, a werewolf.
Juliet: Well I'm a vampire.
Alex: Yeah but you have normal feet.
Juliet: That's true.
Alex: Okay, I have to ask you something. Why would somebody cool as you would be dating my brother?
Juliet: Well I find that if you're a little cooler than your boyfriend, he'll never dump you!
Alex and Harper: Ohhhh!
Harper: Okay, now I gotta ask you something. When you turn into a bat where do your clothes go?
Juliet: Well you're not really thinking about that when you're going (waves her arms) WHOOO! WHOO! WHOO!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: You turned in your girlfriend into the Monster Hunter Council!
Justin: What? (laughs)
Juliet: (walks in)

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: Oh no.
Juliet: Hey! Who wants to see me empty a calzone?

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: You finally get a girlfriend with normal feet and you reported her to the Monster Hunter Council?!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Harper: You smell like vanilla.
Juliet: Thanks! I use it to disguise the smell of death and decay!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Harper: Wait, what?! What happens when they catch me?
Alex: Oh don't worry. They'll find out that you're a human impersonating a monster and they'll release you like a little fish....I think.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Harper: I was gonna be a lady about this but now I want my dress back! STRIP IT DOWN, SISTER!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: We are in deep guano.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: : Well, you know what they say. When you love somebody, set them free. And if they really love you, they’ll come back.
Justin: Not unless they're a mind slave to a mummy.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Harper: (calls her mom) Mom, you were right! They did ask! Okay, bye! (hangs up) She said yes! Group hug!
Russo Family: (shocked that Harper manipulated them)
Justin: You and your mom manipulated us! Looks like you are part of this family. (Everyone leaves except Alex.)

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
[At the recreation of Harper's 5th grade spelling bee]:
Jerry: Okay, are you ready for your word, Max-
Max: [interrupts] Max! M-A-C-K-S. Max.
Jerry: Th-that isn't your word that's your name...and you mispelled it!
Max: [shakes head] I should've asked for a definition.
Jerry: Your word is.....hippopotomonstrosesquip­pedalio­phobia.
Carol: Could you use it in a sentence?
Jerry: Hippopotomonstrosesquippedali­o­phobia is an? annoying word, and I'm not gonna say it again.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Jerry: THAT'S the sentence.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Harper: I learned one thing.
Alex: (smiling) When did you become the most amazing person in my life?
Harper: The first day we met in kindergarten. We had to sleep in different rooms 'cause we snored.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Mason: Sorry, I think you dropped this.
Alex: No, that's not mine.
Mason: Yeah I know. I needed an excuse to come talk to you.
Alex: (stares at him for a few seconds and takes the paintbrush)
Mason: It's quite lovely...what you're working on there.
Alex: (smiles) So new British guy, how close are the countries British and England?
Mason: They're the same country. Kinda of and it's Britain not British.
Alex: I know. I just think it's ridiculous when people explain ridiculous things.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: And speaking of ridiculous things.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: Art Off is stupid. Just because Mr. Laritate picks a painting doesn't mean it's good. I mean look at him. He picks out those clothes.
Mason: He doesn't pick those. His mum lays them out for him.
Alex: I like you new British guy. You're on my team.
Mason: (offers to shake hand) My name is Mason Greyback.
Alex: "Mason Greyback" That sounds like the name of a game show host.. like, "Mason Greyback, I'll take British for a thousand, please."
Mason: (pretends a paintbrush is a microphone and a piece of newspaper is a card with a question) Your question is, "I think you're cute, what do you think of me?"
Alex: (makes a buzzing noise) We're out of time.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Harper: Sailboat plus moon equals loser! Heh heh heh heh. (makes an L with her hand)

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Mason: You know since I got here last Thursday, I noticed that he talks like a cowboy. Oh, and he likes cats.
Alex: Nah. In America we call them kitty cats.
Mason: Okay, kitty cats.
Alex: Hahaha! I made you say kitty cats.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Mason: How would you feel about maybe going for some tea later?
Alex: Okay. But if 'go for tea' doesn't mean a date then I'm gonna be really embarrassed. And that whole accent thing, girls see right through it... no they don't.
Harper: Oh. Kittens never lose. Next time I'm gonna paint Macgruder being eaten by a kitten. Yeah he's gonna drop this class.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Mason: (picks up a water balloon) These are water balloons.
Alex: Ah, so you've heard of them.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: Mason, thanks. I owe you one.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: That would explain why she's scratching him behind the ear.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: Mason, you haven't stopped staring at Juliet since we found her.
Mason: Juliet, I didn't know we were looking for you. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU!
Alex: (gasps) Oh my gosh! What are you doing?!
Mason: I don't know!
Alex: Can't you see the way I feel about you?
Mason: Alex, I'm sorry! Something just came over me!
Alex: (takes off the necklace) I never want to see you again! (throws the necklace, waves her wand and disappears)
Max: Dude, I don't know what you just did but she seems pretty hurt. I'm gonna let it slide so you and I are still good.
Justin: (pushes Max away) No!
Mason: Justin please! Let me explain this!
Justin: There's nothing to explain. You broke Alex's heart. (to Max) He's not good with any of us.
Max: I figured. I tried but it was totally hard to misread the situation.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Theresa: But on the bright side, we're all really glad that you have feelings!
Alex: (crying) Mason told Juliet he loved her....right in front of me.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Harper: La la la la la la. (screams) HEY YOU!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: Mason. Alex doesn't want to see you, and not to gloat, but I know Juliet doesn't.
Mason: I came to fix things.
Theresa: (whispers to Justin) Make him write down what he wants to say to her. That accent of him gives him an unfair advantage.
Mason: Alex. I didn't mean what I said earlier. I was in shock from seeing Juliet but I wanna be with you.
Alex: Really?
Mason: Yes, I do.
Alex: Mason, look. I've been in shock before, too.. like, when I accidentally made my brother disappear.. or I accidentally made my parents not know who I was.. or I accidentally got trapped in a horror film.. or I accidentally-
Theresa: Honey.. honey, we know.. you've messed up a a lot.
Alex: Yes. But still, I've never accidentally told someone I love them, when I didn't.
Mason: Alex, I know it's hard to believe, but if you just let me explain-
Alex: I think you've said enough.
Jerry: You have to go now, Mister.
Mason: Yes, sir. I'll, be on my way, then. And I'll regret my mistake, for the rest of my life..

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Mason: Alex, I'm over Juliet you've got to believe me.
Alex: Well, I don't. Just because she didn't want you, Mason, I'm your second choice.
Harper: Things are going well on my shift.
Mason: Listen to me, Alex. I can prove it. All we have to do is go back to Transylvania and find the true love necklace. If you put it on me and it glows, then you'll know how I truly feel about you.
Alex: No. I'm never going back there. You can go get it.
Mason: No. You have to go with me.. 'cause that's where all went bad, and that's where I'm gonna make it all go good.
Alex: [thinks] Okay.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place