Wizards of Waverly Place Quotes

Alex: Wow. Dad is mad inside and out.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Kelbo: Okay, let's talk about it. (disappears with the kids)

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Jerry: Very good, Justin. Alex, you're up.
Alex: Oh, okay. This guinea pig is now not, a dove with wings shall fill its slot. [a brick appears] Oh! It's a pretty dove!
Jerry: No. Oh! It's a pretty brick. You weren't concentrating. Max, you're up.
Max: This guinea pig is now not, a dove with wings shall fill with snot. [dove sneezes] I said snot, didn't I?

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: Got it.
Alex: Does he have to say, "Got it" after every question? It's throwing me off on my exam.
Max: [surprised] We're taking an exam?

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Max: Why doesn't Dad just grade our papers?
Professor Crumbs: So that no one will get better grades just by batting their eyes and trying to look cute.
Alex : [batting her eyes and looking cute] Are you talking about me?
Justin: [mocking Alex's expression] Alex, you're doing it right now.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Jerry: Hey, what's that?
Alex: [hastily] Uh...

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: These parents are now not...
Jerry: What're you doing?
Alex: ...two guinea pigs should fill their slot.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: What did I just do? I panicked! I needed to buy myself more time.
Report Card: To do what?
Alex: To panic!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: I don't know why you guys even bothered taking that test. We all know that I'm the one that's gonna win the family wizard contest and keep my powers.
Jerry: That's not for a long while, Justin.
Alex: And what if they change the rules so only girls keep their powers? Oh, wait, you still might win.
Justin: Oh, Alex, you're so transparent. You know that I'm better than you at magic, so you have to lash out and make fun of me. And, you don't take any of this magic seriously.
Alex: I can't take *you* seriously. You use big words like "transparent". What are you, British?
Professor Crumbs: No, but I am.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: [Professor Crumbs, who was about to take Alex's powers, is turned into guinea pig] Don't look at me, I don't have my powers!
Jerry: [shocked] Justin?
Justin: ...I panicked!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Report Card: Hey kid, I can tell you how to get rid of a bad report card.
Alex: Really? How?
Report Card: Get good grades.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: I hate you.
Justin: Hate you too. (they look at eachother for a bit, then hug)
Alex: ...And if it means that much to you, i'll sign your tortilla petition.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: I quit. [Grabs Harper's arm] And we're going to the kitchen...[Everyone gasps] to eat...[more gasps] And we don't care who watches!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: [Talking on the phone] Mom, Dad, Can I be in charge? What if there was a tidal wave, THEN can I be in charge? YES!! [Hangs up phone and blows a whistle] Okay, I'm in charge.
Alex: [Throws a water balloon at Justin] Hey, look, a tidal wave, now you're in charge!
Justin: Alex, you just ruined my new clothes.
Alex: Justin, when you wear something for a week, it's not new anymore. It just needs a wash.
Max: [Throws a water balloon at Justin] Hey, look, I just washed it. You're welcome!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Grandma: I TALKED TO YOUR MOM. SHE THINKS YOUR DAD COULD DROP 5 POUNDS TOO.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Richard in Justin's body: What am I doing here?
Candace in Max's body: I dunno. But like all the trouble spots I've been into all my life. I'm gonna dance my way out.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Candace in Max's body: Arms out, hold it girl, youre a swan

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: C'mon Alex, you got a D in lunch.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Theresa: [walks into the Wizard Lair] Ooh, yay! I'm in the Wizard Lair. Or as I like to call, "The Garage Sale That Never Happened".

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: [holds up the Speed Shirt] This is a Speed Shirt, it gives you supersonic speed.
Max: Ah, does it grow your hair really long?
Justin: Speed...shirt...
[Max, confused]

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: Don't forget your collars, its flea season. [laughs] Man, I am on fire!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Isebella: (Chews Alex's sweater) Now that was fun!
Alex: Really? Becuase my word was weird

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Jerry: Justin, get in the kitchen right now!
Justin: OK, Come on Isabella we're going in the kitchen...
Theresa: No No, Isabella has to stay here because, of, the, the thing
Justin: What thing?
Jerry: Justin, you come in the kitchen, Isebella, you stay there

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Justin: If one person in the family hates someone then the others have to hate them, too.
Max: So, that means if I hate pumpkin pie, you hate pumpkin pie, too?
Justin: You know I love pumpkin pie!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Dean-Hey Salad, Just like my mama make it.

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Max: No, wait, well..yes. But I'm MAXIMAN!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Alex: I mean you stop here so often I belive they call it "Dean's Corner"

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Annoucer: 3,2,1. Evil.
Alex: (turns around and looks evil)
Justin: Yeah, it's too late.
Alex: (looks at Ronald) I don't look like him, do I? (takes off Justin's glasses and looks at her reflection and gasps)

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Max: I love tether ball! It's the only ball you can never lose!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place
Max: Oh I heard him! He said that you and him are going to start your evil lives together! Congratulations!

TV Show: Wizards of Waverly Place