Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes
Josie Lawrence:
Well baby (Caroline: Baby!), baby (Caroline: Yeah baby!)
I like your sexy kid of manner (Caroline: Mmm baby!)
I'd like to unscrew your nuts (Caroline: Yeah baby!)
With my great big spanner (Caroline: Ohhh....)
Baby baby baby, can't you see? (Caroline: Mmmm yeah...)
I've got a big spanner so unscrew me! (Caroline: Yeah!)
Well baby (Caroline: Baby!), baby (Caroline: Yeah baby!)
I like your sexy kid of manner (Caroline: Mmm baby!)
I'd like to unscrew your nuts (Caroline: Yeah baby!)
With my great big spanner (Caroline: Ohhh....)
Baby baby baby, can't you see? (Caroline: Mmmm yeah...)
I've got a big spanner so unscrew me! (Caroline: Yeah!)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Niall Ashdown(Love song...!)
Oh yeah!
Well my statement came through the door, and I just laughed
I had a five-thousand pound overdraft
I couldn't believe that amount
I'd wasted all my money in the current account!
So I went straight down to the bank
Saw a guy called Mark who was mysterious and dank
But his eyes looked at me, he said "That's fine,
My telephone number's 3-4-5-1-9!"
And we've been going out together since!
And the way he makes love, it really makes me wince!
Yeah!
Oh yeah!
Well my statement came through the door, and I just laughed
I had a five-thousand pound overdraft
I couldn't believe that amount
I'd wasted all my money in the current account!
So I went straight down to the bank
Saw a guy called Mark who was mysterious and dank
But his eyes looked at me, he said "That's fine,
My telephone number's 3-4-5-1-9!"
And we've been going out together since!
And the way he makes love, it really makes me wince!
Yeah!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Niall Ashdown(Love song)
Oh yeah! Mm-hmm
Oh Catherine you're the best girl in the land
Even though you've only got a short hand
Yeah Catherine you're the best girl in the nation
I love it when you take my dictation.
When I kiss you it's like chewing toffee
I feel so good when you bring in my coffee
Some look at you and they say "she's a dead loss"
But I know you're different and I'm your boss
Come over here and give me one now!
I wanna do it to you, again again and again
Come on and squeeze all the ink out of my fountain pen!
Oh Catherine! I want you now!
Oh yeah! Mm-hmm
Oh Catherine you're the best girl in the land
Even though you've only got a short hand
Yeah Catherine you're the best girl in the nation
I love it when you take my dictation.
When I kiss you it's like chewing toffee
I feel so good when you bring in my coffee
Some look at you and they say "she's a dead loss"
But I know you're different and I'm your boss
Come over here and give me one now!
I wanna do it to you, again again and again
Come on and squeeze all the ink out of my fountain pen!
Oh Catherine! I want you now!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Brad Sherwood(Love song)
Anna, would you be my nurse?
I feel that I'm getting much worse!
Anna, I will be your man
If you just do my prostate exam!
You touch me in places where no-one dares to touch
It is so kinky that people are starting to think we are Dutch
'Cos we're strange, you changed my blood pressure
And I'm smiling just like a cat whose name is Cheshire
Oh, Anna, help me please!
'Cos I'm dying of this disease
It's called love
Wrap your rubber glove!
Give your thumb a shove!
Anna, would you be my nurse?
I feel that I'm getting much worse!
Anna, I will be your man
If you just do my prostate exam!
You touch me in places where no-one dares to touch
It is so kinky that people are starting to think we are Dutch
'Cos we're strange, you changed my blood pressure
And I'm smiling just like a cat whose name is Cheshire
Oh, Anna, help me please!
'Cos I'm dying of this disease
It's called love
Wrap your rubber glove!
Give your thumb a shove!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Brad Sherwood(End-of-musical love song)
I went to the video store to meet Angie
We were gonna go on a rafting trip down the Gangee!
I started singing this little song
And she said "Why don't we bring some porno videos along?"
I said "Hey, there Angie, that would be kind of callous!"
She said "Let's bring some naked Spice Girls and Debbie Does Dallas!"
I said "No, I'm sorry, I'm not that kind of guy!"
She said "Well I also have some gay videos to give those a try!"
I went to the video store to meet Angie
We were gonna go on a rafting trip down the Gangee!
I started singing this little song
And she said "Why don't we bring some porno videos along?"
I said "Hey, there Angie, that would be kind of callous!"
She said "Let's bring some naked Spice Girls and Debbie Does Dallas!"
I said "No, I'm sorry, I'm not that kind of guy!"
She said "Well I also have some gay videos to give those a try!"
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence(Noel Coward)
You know I've got a terribly amazing story to tell you, you're not going to believe it!
I went out onto the green one day
About to play a little game of croquet
I saw a man, he said "Eh, OK,
Now what do you think of that?"
I said it looked very good
It was quite long and made out of wood
I said "Tell me about it if you could"
He said "This is a baseball bat!"
There's lots of things that you can do with just a piece of wood
It's oh so long and very strong, it makes you feel so good
Come on everybody, get your bat one and all
And let's - all - hit - the - ball!
You know I've got a terribly amazing story to tell you, you're not going to believe it!
I went out onto the green one day
About to play a little game of croquet
I saw a man, he said "Eh, OK,
Now what do you think of that?"
I said it looked very good
It was quite long and made out of wood
I said "Tell me about it if you could"
He said "This is a baseball bat!"
There's lots of things that you can do with just a piece of wood
It's oh so long and very strong, it makes you feel so good
Come on everybody, get your bat one and all
And let's - all - hit - the - ball!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence(American teen musical, "a bit like Glee")
I'm so happy, hear me scream
Hear me jump and rant
I've just found something, it's my dream,
A place to put my plant!
I've been looking far and wide
Couldn't find a thing anywhere
Then I walked into an antiques shop
And there it stood - the jardiniere!
I'm so happy, hear me scream
Hear me jump and rant
I've just found something, it's my dream,
A place to put my plant!
I've been looking far and wide
Couldn't find a thing anywhere
Then I walked into an antiques shop
And there it stood - the jardiniere!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
The First Man In Space is a wonderful movie. It begins with a meteorite shower that splashes all the way through the spaceship, and turns the man inside into a singing, whirling dervish...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I'll go and check out the front of the cockpit guys...
(Richard starts playing a dramatic tune on the piano)
My God! Visor down! Safety visors down! Shields up! We have a meteor shower coming in quick!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
They're coming, millions of meteors!
They're coming, so fast and furious!
They're coming, some are green,
Some are yellow, some are simply curious.
They're ripping through the spaceship one-two-three,
They're breaking apart!
And now, they've hit me! I'm changing!
I feel something strange happening in my heart!
(Richard starts playing a dramatic tune on the piano)
My God! Visor down! Safety visors down! Shields up! We have a meteor shower coming in quick!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
They're coming, millions of meteors!
They're coming, so fast and furious!
They're coming, some are green,
Some are yellow, some are simply curious.
They're ripping through the spaceship one-two-three,
They're breaking apart!
And now, they've hit me! I'm changing!
I feel something strange happening in my heart!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Meanwhile back at Earth Control, the two scientists whose idea it was to send this man into space, are rather worried about the messages they're getting over the radio, and decide to sing their thoughts to each other...
(Richard plays a quiet doo-wop tune on the guitar)
(Steve and Jim hum in harmony)
(Richard plays a quiet doo-wop tune on the guitar)
(Steve and Jim hum in harmony)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Let me tell you, I'm kinda worried (Jim: Ba-bub-a-de-duum!)
About ol' George Bury (Jim: Ba-bub-a-de-duum!)
He's up there, among those rocks
Hey did you know, he was wearing odd socks?
You know that, if he gets those strange hunger pangs, (Jim: Ba-dub-a-de-duum!)
I'm kinda worried that he might grow fangs (Jim: Ba-dub-a-de-duum!)
And some poor guy's gonna get it in the neck...
About ol' George Bury (Jim: Ba-bub-a-de-duum!)
He's up there, among those rocks
Hey did you know, he was wearing odd socks?
You know that, if he gets those strange hunger pangs, (Jim: Ba-dub-a-de-duum!)
I'm kinda worried that he might grow fangs (Jim: Ba-dub-a-de-duum!)
And some poor guy's gonna get it in the neck...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
He arrives back on Earth, and as he emerges from the spaceship, he bites each one of them in the neck. They sing a song before they die. And the vampire realises he cannot breathe the oxygen Earth, and he dies after he's killed them as well, but not before he finishes the big finale of the musical, which is a wonderful song to behold! (Clive: Yes... dead simple, that, Paul!)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Jim: Look the door's opening, he's coming out!
(Richard plays a dramatic intro on the piano as Mike reveals fangs he made from tissue!)
Jim: Oh my God!
(Richard plays a dramatic intro on the piano as Mike reveals fangs he made from tissue!)
Jim: Oh my God!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Now now, George!
(Mike bites Steve in the neck)
Ohhhh...
I'm going fast, I'm going now,
And please say goodbye to my old cow!
You know I really love that heifer,
Please... tell me she'll get better!
Lick her, George, look after him
I know it isn't a terrible sin
You've drained me now of all my blood,
And I'm gonna fall face down in the mud. (dies)
(Mike bites Steve in the neck)
Ohhhh...
I'm going fast, I'm going now,
And please say goodbye to my old cow!
You know I really love that heifer,
Please... tell me she'll get better!
Lick her, George, look after him
I know it isn't a terrible sin
You've drained me now of all my blood,
And I'm gonna fall face down in the mud. (dies)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(Mike bites Jim in the neck)
Oh!
Oh George, George, that was so nice
Don't do it once, why don't you do it twice! (Mike obliges)
When you bite me in the neck it makes me feel so fine!
Time for me to die, time for me to die,
Time for me to die, time for me to die... (dies)
Oh!
Oh George, George, that was so nice
Don't do it once, why don't you do it twice! (Mike obliges)
When you bite me in the neck it makes me feel so fine!
Time for me to die, time for me to die,
Time for me to die, time for me to die... (dies)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I killed them all, they are dead.
And I've got a funny feeling in my head, (Steve and Jim dance on the ground)
I can't stand it here,
This really sucks, this atmosphere,
So I'll die, goodbye!
Goodbye, bye, bye! (jumps to the ground and dies)
And I've got a funny feeling in my head, (Steve and Jim dance on the ground)
I can't stand it here,
This really sucks, this atmosphere,
So I'll die, goodbye!
Goodbye, bye, bye! (jumps to the ground and dies)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I've been looking through the film archives and what a jolly lot of dusty old films I've found. But here, a fabulous B-movie, a dusky maiden sits alone on a Mediterranean island and croons about her long lost love...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Sometimes I dream of a sailor,
Sometimes I dream of an obelisk!
I shouldn't eat the mushrooms I find
Because the local flora blows my mind!
Oh, if only someone would come by rescue me!
Sometimes I dream of an obelisk!
I shouldn't eat the mushrooms I find
Because the local flora blows my mind!
Oh, if only someone would come by rescue me!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
The dusky maiden went off for a bathe. Just then... Two hunky Spanish bandits - Xhorico and Xolinxo - arrived upon the island...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike: I am hungry for the love that dare not squeak his name!
Greg: Indeed! Boy if we could find ourselves a lusty maiden!
Mike: A lusty, dusky maiden! I know what I would do!
(Richard plays a Spanish-sounding tune on the guitar)
Greg: Indeed! Boy if we could find ourselves a lusty maiden!
Mike: A lusty, dusky maiden! I know what I would do!
(Richard plays a Spanish-sounding tune on the guitar)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Me too!
I'm so horny! So very, very horny!
When I woke up this morning,
I knew I was horny!
I'm so horny! So very, very horny!
When I woke up this morning,
I knew I was horny!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
My cajones (Greg: Cajones!) are swollen with pride (Greg: Like melon-es!)
Like a bull I'm... inside! (Greg: Do not gore me!)
We'll find ourselves a señorita (Greg: Ah-ha!)
And have her eat her way (Greg: Oh-ho!)
We'll plunder and loot and hloch...
Like a bull I'm... inside! (Greg: Do not gore me!)
We'll find ourselves a señorita (Greg: Ah-ha!)
And have her eat her way (Greg: Oh-ho!)
We'll plunder and loot and hloch...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
And they do. They hloch the day away. They have their way with the poor girl. But then, three midshipmen arrive on a 1790s ship - Midshipman Easy, Midshipman I'll-Be-Lucky, and Midshipman There's-Gotta-Be-A-First-Time-For-Everyone. The three men rescue the girl and sing of their success in a traditional 1790s rock-and-roll number...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Well we rescued a maiden one more time! (Tony: One more time!)(Mike: You did all, baby!)
We rescued them from that Spanish swine
Now we're off the island this very day
Now let's take her downstairs and have our way!
We're gonna go, go, go-go!
We rescued them from that Spanish swine
Now we're off the island this very day
Now let's take her downstairs and have our way!
We're gonna go, go, go-go!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
We're gonna roll her, open that five-dog road
We're gonna work her up and down all over the town
And when we're done with her, rip off the fur
And we'll have a beer and down with her!
We're gonna work her up and down all over the town
And when we're done with her, rip off the fur
And we'll have a beer and down with her!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?