Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes
(As Tony approaches the bar)Josie: (Sarcastically) Oh this'll be a clean one!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Clive: Angry about his middle name, that's a very good suggestion for this game...
Tony: I am actually, it's Declan!
Clive: Well you can bring some of that into the song if you want...
Tony: I am actually, it's Declan!
Clive: Well you can bring some of that into the song if you want...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie: Come on, drink that, calm down!
Tony: I can't calm down, I'm too angry!
Josie: What about?
Tony: I can't calm down, I'm too angry!
Josie: What about?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony Slattery:
I've got a middle name and I feel malicious! Yeah!
'Cos my parents called me Patricious!
This middle name, it's such a heavy load
But when I say it I feel my testicles explode!
I've got a middle name and I feel malicious! Yeah!
'Cos my parents called me Patricious!
This middle name, it's such a heavy load
But when I say it I feel my testicles explode!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence:
You've been drinking far too much, make sure you don't get in a car
And remember it's not the name your mum and daddy gave you that matters, it's the person inside who you are!
So be proud Patricious! Come on, take my flattery!
It's much better than being called Tony Slattery! (Tony spits his drink across the bar)
You've been drinking far too much, make sure you don't get in a car
And remember it's not the name your mum and daddy gave you that matters, it's the person inside who you are!
So be proud Patricious! Come on, take my flattery!
It's much better than being called Tony Slattery! (Tony spits his drink across the bar)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Greg: Hi, Chip!
Chip: Hey, what's the matter, huh?
Greg: Well, I... my mind is all full of things
Chip: Tell me one.
Chip: Hey, what's the matter, huh?
Greg: Well, I... my mind is all full of things
Chip: Tell me one.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Greg Proops:
I made a lot of cash this year, you could say that I am rich.
But now they want all my money 'cause the government is a bitch.
I wish I'd paid as I went along, I guess that I'm just a nut, but,
Now they want it all, I guess they're gonna bite me in the butt.
I made a lot of cash this year, you could say that I am rich.
But now they want all my money 'cause the government is a bitch.
I wish I'd paid as I went along, I guess that I'm just a nut, but,
Now they want it all, I guess they're gonna bite me in the butt.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Chip Esten:
Ohh... that's kinda sad, (Greg: Yeah!) they should carry you out on a gurney,
When you get so reamed by that old tax attorney,
But what you can do, if I can be so bold to guess,
Is drive a car bomb into the IRS!
Ohh... that's kinda sad, (Greg: Yeah!) they should carry you out on a gurney,
When you get so reamed by that old tax attorney,
But what you can do, if I can be so bold to guess,
Is drive a car bomb into the IRS!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
You know lately, life really stinks.
Open up that bottle and keep pouring the drinks.
My wife died about an hour ago,
Didn't want her to but that's the way it is you know.
But I figured, hey, why sit around and grieve her?
I've got a dog at home, I'm in love with my retriever.
You know lately, life really stinks.
Open up that bottle and keep pouring the drinks.
My wife died about an hour ago,
Didn't want her to but that's the way it is you know.
But I figured, hey, why sit around and grieve her?
I've got a dog at home, I'm in love with my retriever.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Chip Esten:
That's kind of funny, on valentines,
You send a card to your canine.
And then when you're in your house, you're not there all alone,
'Cause your girlfriend can fetch a bone!
That's kind of funny, on valentines,
You send a card to your canine.
And then when you're in your house, you're not there all alone,
'Cause your girlfriend can fetch a bone!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony: Look at my face! Is this an angry face?
Chip: That's an angry face!
Tony: Shall I tell you why?
Chip: Tell me!
Chip: That's an angry face!
Tony: Shall I tell you why?
Chip: Tell me!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony Slattery:
I went to a store, I spent a lot of bucks! (Chip: Bucks!)
I came out with this, and boy does it suck! (Chip: Suck!)
But the most important thing, and this is what I'd like to share,
I hate this jacket 'cause it's made of bits of Lionel Blair.
I went to a store, I spent a lot of bucks! (Chip: Bucks!)
I came out with this, and boy does it suck! (Chip: Suck!)
But the most important thing, and this is what I'd like to share,
I hate this jacket 'cause it's made of bits of Lionel Blair.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Chip Esten:
Man you got reamed, when you went into that store,
They said it was velvet, but it's only cheap velour.
That salesman's good, that boy he is no slouch,
He ripped that sucker right off his old couch.
Man you got reamed, when you went into that store,
They said it was velvet, but it's only cheap velour.
That salesman's good, that boy he is no slouch,
He ripped that sucker right off his old couch.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike: That's the fifth one.
Colin: Oh, I'm annoyed.
Mike: You're annoyed, huh? What're you annoyed about?
Colin: Oh, I'm annoyed.
Mike: You're annoyed, huh? What're you annoyed about?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie:
Let me tell you what happened to me,
As I entered matrimony,
It didn't happen,
The girl that I loved, just left.
It wouldn't bother me ordinarily,
But... la la la lee lee,
What can I do, I'm so annoyed, oh-oyed, oh-oyed.
Let me tell you what happened to me,
As I entered matrimony,
It didn't happen,
The girl that I loved, just left.
It wouldn't bother me ordinarily,
But... la la la lee lee,
What can I do, I'm so annoyed, oh-oyed, oh-oyed.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
You know sometimes words won't do,
Instead you gotta say habadascabwoob wabada woo,
You've gotta move on to greener pastures some day. (Colin: Whoah ho, like a cow!)
It's greener on the other side,
And listen buddy, I'm a bartender, I'd never lie,
So get out and find another fish in the sea today. (Colin: Hey hey!)
Hey hey! (Colin walks back to his seat)
Hey, pay for your fucking drink!
You know sometimes words won't do,
Instead you gotta say habadascabwoob wabada woo,
You've gotta move on to greener pastures some day. (Colin: Whoah ho, like a cow!)
It's greener on the other side,
And listen buddy, I'm a bartender, I'd never lie,
So get out and find another fish in the sea today. (Colin: Hey hey!)
Hey hey! (Colin walks back to his seat)
Hey, pay for your fucking drink!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony Slattery:
I've got a passion, from which I will not be swerved. Aha.
I'm like Mrs Slocombe from 'Are You Being Served?'. Wha ha.
You may think that I'm some kind of wussy,
But I can't get enough of daily pussy.
I'm in love, in love with my feline friends. Wha ha ha.
I've got a passion, from which I will not be swerved. Aha.
I'm like Mrs Slocombe from 'Are You Being Served?'. Wha ha.
You may think that I'm some kind of wussy,
But I can't get enough of daily pussy.
I'm in love, in love with my feline friends. Wha ha ha.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
You've got a problem, a problem on your hands.
I can smell it, it's those kitty love glands.
You've been working overtime in the bowl,
Doing the fur jelly roll.
You gotta knock off, knock off the stray pussy.
You've got a problem, a problem on your hands.
I can smell it, it's those kitty love glands.
You've been working overtime in the bowl,
Doing the fur jelly roll.
You gotta knock off, knock off the stray pussy.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike: A nice summery day, huh?
Ryan: (Depressed) Yeah.
Mike: Hey, what's got you down? You should be the happiest guy in the world!
Ryan: (Depressed) Yeah.
Mike: Hey, what's got you down? You should be the happiest guy in the world!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
I got some kind of extraordinary news today.
A special person's called me over, for a little play.
She's the best one that I've ever seen,
Unfortunately it's not that same queen,
That you're thinking 'bout... this girl's name is Roy.
I got some kind of extraordinary news today.
A special person's called me over, for a little play.
She's the best one that I've ever seen,
Unfortunately it's not that same queen,
That you're thinking 'bout... this girl's name is Roy.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
Queen Roy is quite a queen. (Ryan: Aha!)
The toughest queen that you've ever seen. (Ryan: Whoah ho ha!)
But her parties are legendary. (Ryan: Really?)
There's naked men on a trapeze,
Nicholas Parsons covered in cheddar cheese,
Swingin' from the balcony chandeliers. (Ryan: Sounds like it's great!)
You're just in time for the vomit fountain of beer! (Ryan runs off to be sick)
Queen Roy is quite a queen. (Ryan: Aha!)
The toughest queen that you've ever seen. (Ryan: Whoah ho ha!)
But her parties are legendary. (Ryan: Really?)
There's naked men on a trapeze,
Nicholas Parsons covered in cheddar cheese,
Swingin' from the balcony chandeliers. (Ryan: Sounds like it's great!)
You're just in time for the vomit fountain of beer! (Ryan runs off to be sick)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
I'm afraid I've got a little bit of trouble, I've caught VD
I had unprotected sex with my TV
He swooned me, talked to me, told me his love fable
Before I knew it I was yanking on his big TV love cable!
I'm afraid I've got a little bit of trouble, I've caught VD
I had unprotected sex with my TV
He swooned me, talked to me, told me his love fable
Before I knew it I was yanking on his big TV love cable!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
Too many channels, so little time
Love for TV surely must not be a crime
When you're surfing with a wand in your hand
You're riding on the waves and baby, don't you feel grand?
But you'd better back off, that much more
Or your thumb will get flicking sores!
You won't be able to keep it up
Your fervent wish
Is use safe sex when you use the dish!
Too many channels, so little time
Love for TV surely must not be a crime
When you're surfing with a wand in your hand
You're riding on the waves and baby, don't you feel grand?
But you'd better back off, that much more
Or your thumb will get flicking sores!
You won't be able to keep it up
Your fervent wish
Is use safe sex when you use the dish!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Greg: Buenos nachos!
Niall: Hey, welcome to the bar, would you like some tortillas? Oh no, that's Mexico, who cares. I've been around you know.
Greg: You certainly have. I'm in a good mood tonight.
Niall: Oh yeah?
Greg: I have much to celebrate! (bangs chair on floor)
Niall: Watch the floorboards, buster!
Niall: Hey, welcome to the bar, would you like some tortillas? Oh no, that's Mexico, who cares. I've been around you know.
Greg: You certainly have. I'm in a good mood tonight.
Niall: Oh yeah?
Greg: I have much to celebrate! (bangs chair on floor)
Niall: Watch the floorboards, buster!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Greg Proops:
Late last night I had a plan.
I would go home with my first woman.
I got her home, she was beguiling.
And when I was done, she was smiling.
I took off her capa, and revealed, (Niall: Hai yai yai yai yai yai!)
A secret so surprising that I squealed. (Niall: {Clap clap clap clap clap})
The senorita was no woman:
But, was TV presenter Clive Anderson!
Late last night I had a plan.
I would go home with my first woman.
I got her home, she was beguiling.
And when I was done, she was smiling.
I took off her capa, and revealed, (Niall: Hai yai yai yai yai yai!)
A secret so surprising that I squealed. (Niall: {Clap clap clap clap clap})
The senorita was no woman:
But, was TV presenter Clive Anderson!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Clive: I remember it well.
Greg: He was so, so gentle, so nice.
Niall: You're sure it was Clive Anderson?
Greg: I can't be mistaken. His head glowed!
Greg: He was so, so gentle, so nice.
Niall: You're sure it was Clive Anderson?
Greg: I can't be mistaken. His head glowed!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?