Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes
Drew: Things you don't want to hear you grandmother singing about.
Ryan: (humming) I put rat poison in the Christmas dinner...
Ryan: (humming) I put rat poison in the Christmas dinner...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Phrases that just don't sound right when a cheesy announcer says them.
Ryan: That's right, I'll respect you in the morning!
Ryan: That's right, I'll respect you in the morning!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Circus acts that didn't last long.
Ryan: (hums fanfare while hanging himself)
Ryan: (hums fanfare while hanging himself)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Celebrity endorsements doomed to fail.
Ryan: (as Reverend Jim from "Taxi"): I forgot what the hell I was selling!
Ryan: (as Reverend Jim from "Taxi"): I forgot what the hell I was selling!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Things you can say about the food you eat, but not your girlfriend.
Ryan: Sure, I'll have seconds.
Ryan: Sure, I'll have seconds.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Jeopardy questions where the "Whose Line" castmembers are the answers.
Ryan: I'll take "People Who Sit Behind A Desk And Do Nothing" for $500, please.
Ryan: I'll take "People Who Sit Behind A Desk And Do Nothing" for $500, please.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Like Oklahoma, musicals about different U.S. States.
Ryan: [singing] Alaska, where it stays light all of the year!
Ryan: [singing] Alaska, where it stays light all of the year!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: Who is this?
Ryan: It's your Dad.
Colin: Oh, Dad, hi.
Ryan: How's school?
Colin: Fine.
Ryan: Have you been studying your Math? And your...letters?
Colin: For God's sake, Dad, I'm thirty-four.
Ryan: It's your Dad.
Colin: Oh, Dad, hi.
Ryan: How's school?
Colin: Fine.
Ryan: Have you been studying your Math? And your...letters?
Colin: For God's sake, Dad, I'm thirty-four.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Brad: Can Wayne and I play that game now? [audience laughter]
Drew: No.
Ryan: I don't think I could lift you.
Drew: No.
Ryan: I don't think I could lift you.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Kathy: Can I help you at all? (Ryan's head stuck on carpet.)
Ryan: Is this shag? It's just gorgeous.
Kathy: Listen. I, I....
Ryan: What a wonderful floor.
Kathy: Listen, Is there something worse than having a depressed Carol Channing at your party?
Drew: Not quite.
Ryan: Oh mighty lord...(Head flies over to Drew's desk as the glass neon light decoration on the desk shatters on his head. Kathy and audience gasp in shock.)
Kathy: Are you OK?
Ryan: I'm fine.
Drew: (looks over his desk) Oh my God! Are you OK?
Ryan: Yes. (Drew buzzes, Wayne gets up and looks away)
Kathy: Oh, my god.
Ryan: I'm fine; it's okay...(as Drew bends down at Ryan's head, laughing hysterically) I'm good.
Kathy: Carol.
Ryan: What?
Kathy: Carol.
Ryan: I'm afraid...you wouldn't have a suture around the house would you?
Kathy: Yes I actually do right here.
Ryan: (To Drew) Stop picking the glass in my hair!
Kathy: Carol, It is Carol?
Ryan: I used to be. I can't remember anymore. Tell me am I bleeding?
Drew: No, no your OK, you're not bleeding.
Ryan: I can't get off this because my....
Drew: Because his what keeps sticking to things.
Kathy: Because....
Ryan: Don't make me run into anything else!
Drew: Carol Channing who is what?
Kathy: Who is drunk as a skunk?
Ryan: No!
Drew: His blank keeps sticking to blank.
Kathy: Your head is velcro?
Ryan: No.
Drew: (Buzzes). Close enough. (Ryan and Cathy go back to their chairs respectively). Hey it's always funny when it happens to somebody else. (Ryan gives him a look.) Wow man, you went all
Ryan: Is this shag? It's just gorgeous.
Kathy: Listen. I, I....
Ryan: What a wonderful floor.
Kathy: Listen, Is there something worse than having a depressed Carol Channing at your party?
Drew: Not quite.
Ryan: Oh mighty lord...(Head flies over to Drew's desk as the glass neon light decoration on the desk shatters on his head. Kathy and audience gasp in shock.)
Kathy: Are you OK?
Ryan: I'm fine.
Drew: (looks over his desk) Oh my God! Are you OK?
Ryan: Yes. (Drew buzzes, Wayne gets up and looks away)
Kathy: Oh, my god.
Ryan: I'm fine; it's okay...(as Drew bends down at Ryan's head, laughing hysterically) I'm good.
Kathy: Carol.
Ryan: What?
Kathy: Carol.
Ryan: I'm afraid...you wouldn't have a suture around the house would you?
Kathy: Yes I actually do right here.
Ryan: (To Drew) Stop picking the glass in my hair!
Kathy: Carol, It is Carol?
Ryan: I used to be. I can't remember anymore. Tell me am I bleeding?
Drew: No, no your OK, you're not bleeding.
Ryan: I can't get off this because my....
Drew: Because his what keeps sticking to things.
Kathy: Because....
Ryan: Don't make me run into anything else!
Drew: Carol Channing who is what?
Kathy: Who is drunk as a skunk?
Ryan: No!
Drew: His blank keeps sticking to blank.
Kathy: Your head is velcro?
Ryan: No.
Drew: (Buzzes). Close enough. (Ryan and Cathy go back to their chairs respectively). Hey it's always funny when it happens to somebody else. (Ryan gives him a look.) Wow man, you went all
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[during Questions Only]
Wayne: Ecuador.
Brad: What? [buzzes after a short pause]
Ryan: [takes Wayne's place] Ecuador?
Wayne: Ecuador.
Brad: What? [buzzes after a short pause]
Ryan: [takes Wayne's place] Ecuador?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[during Helping Hands with Whoopi Goldberg]
Ryan: Let me play a little song to you to describe what bein' a pirate's like.
Whoopi: Aye.
Ryan: [Colin picks up an accordian, and Ryan hums a few notes as if he's tuning] (singing, while Colin plays accordian furiously) We sail the sea at night, we sail upon the dark, we (babbles incoherently) upon the dark, I see the one above me, I sail along the sea, I work-a-work-a-work-a-blank-a, hey, go look, it's me!
Ryan: Let me play a little song to you to describe what bein' a pirate's like.
Whoopi: Aye.
Ryan: [Colin picks up an accordian, and Ryan hums a few notes as if he's tuning] (singing, while Colin plays accordian furiously) We sail the sea at night, we sail upon the dark, we (babbles incoherently) upon the dark, I see the one above me, I sail along the sea, I work-a-work-a-work-a-blank-a, hey, go look, it's me!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: You know, Colin.
Colin: Yeah, Ryan.
Ryan: When I'm feeling romantic to the--with the wife, or to the wife...Sometimes she's sleeping.
Colin: Yeah, Ryan.
Ryan: When I'm feeling romantic to the--with the wife, or to the wife...Sometimes she's sleeping.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: I think one of my favorite singers of all time was Liberace. He didn't sing a lot. He played, but sometimes he sang as well.
Colin: You knew him better than I did.
Ryan: I think...
[extended audience laughter and applause]
Ryan: But I think a style I like even more is done by his sister Mary. Mariachi music is one of my favorites.
Colin: You knew him better than I did.
Ryan: I think...
[extended audience laughter and applause]
Ryan: But I think a style I like even more is done by his sister Mary. Mariachi music is one of my favorites.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: Ryan "Anything for a laugh" Styles.
Ryan: That's how I got the job on the other show, remember?
Ryan: That's how I got the job on the other show, remember?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
If I had money, here's what I'd do, ya see
I'd make it my mission to help celebrities
I'd even help one guy, who I consider my friend
I'd spend all of my money to make Michael Jackson black again.
I'd make it my mission to help celebrities
I'd even help one guy, who I consider my friend
I'd spend all of my money to make Michael Jackson black again.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
100 episodes of Whose Line?, Lord, it changed my life
It gave me financial security, for myself and my wife
So, thank you ABC and Warner Bros., you're my friend
'Cause if it wasn't for Whose Line?, I'd be on UPN
It gave me financial security, for myself and my wife
So, thank you ABC and Warner Bros., you're my friend
'Cause if it wasn't for Whose Line?, I'd be on UPN
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I'm going to tell you folks a little tale
About how I won the battle of the scale
See my weight won't hurt me, my heart, it would break it
How I lost weight, I picture Drew standing naked
About how I won the battle of the scale
See my weight won't hurt me, my heart, it would break it
How I lost weight, I picture Drew standing naked
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Thank goodness for my mom, that I was made
It was 27 years ago that my dad got laid
But, so you see, upon closer inspection
I'm standing here 'cause he didn't use protection
It was 27 years ago that my dad got laid
But, so you see, upon closer inspection
I'm standing here 'cause he didn't use protection
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I met my girl at the zoo when that's no junk
I'm dating an elephant that she has a trunk
And I love her I give her my allegence
Why she dosn't want money she just works for peanuts
I'm dating an elephant that she has a trunk
And I love her I give her my allegence
Why she dosn't want money she just works for peanuts
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
If I won the lottery I would do lots of good
I would do exactly what a friend should
Because you see I love you guys let me explain
I take all my money and buy Colin some rogain
I would do exactly what a friend should
Because you see I love you guys let me explain
I take all my money and buy Colin some rogain
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I consider myself quite a fugal frella... [Brad starts to laugh] Shut up! Keep it going!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I'm a professor, I've got a Ph. D.,
I am so smart, no one is smarter than me,
I'm a professor, I've been one all night,
I'm a professor, I hope Chip guesses right.
I am so smart, no one is smarter than me,
I'm a professor, I've been one all night,
I'm a professor, I hope Chip guesses right.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I had this girly, yes, she was the best,
Because she caused me, yes, alot of stress,
She drove me crazy and drove me insane,
She showed me a little strip and said, [Pats tummy] "Here's a little Wayne."
Because she caused me, yes, alot of stress,
She drove me crazy and drove me insane,
She showed me a little strip and said, [Pats tummy] "Here's a little Wayne."
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
When I was growing up, my life was really fun
I was a latchkey kid, I was raised by reruns
All that was deep in me was Daphne S. to Phyllis
The thing I loved to say was "What you talkin' about, Willis?"
I was a latchkey kid, I was raised by reruns
All that was deep in me was Daphne S. to Phyllis
The thing I loved to say was "What you talkin' about, Willis?"
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Celebrity endorsements doomed to fail.
Wayne: [with a lisp] I'm Mike Tyson for Encyclopedia Britannica.
Wayne: [with a lisp] I'm Mike Tyson for Encyclopedia Britannica.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Things you shouldn't joke about with your girlfriend's father.
Wayne: (To Greg) No, really, Mr. Proops. She is like a banshee! (Audiences laughs) Really. (Howls) I'm like, "Ow, baby"! (Greg pretends to strangle Wayne)
Wayne: (To Greg) No, really, Mr. Proops. She is like a banshee! (Audiences laughs) Really. (Howls) I'm like, "Ow, baby"! (Greg pretends to strangle Wayne)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?