Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes
Drew: When it's unwise to say "I don't care" to her.
Wayne: (sitting in a chair in front of the TV) Yeah, I love you, too.
'Drew: Scenes from Wayne's real life.
(laughter)
Drew: People you wish would just shut up.
Wayne: (pantomimes pulling a suggestion out of the hat) "People you wish would just shut up."
(audience cracks up and applauds as Wayne goes and high-fives Drew)
Wayne: (sitting in a chair in front of the TV) Yeah, I love you, too.
'Drew: Scenes from Wayne's real life.
(laughter)
Drew: People you wish would just shut up.
Wayne: (pantomimes pulling a suggestion out of the hat) "People you wish would just shut up."
(audience cracks up and applauds as Wayne goes and high-fives Drew)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Things you shouldn't do when confronted by a street gang.
Wayne: Okay, okay, wait. Don't- don't hit me. Look, here, I've got money. Wait, that's a hundred, that's a fifty - wait, wait, hold on - I've got... here's two bucks.
Wayne: Okay, okay, wait. Don't- don't hit me. Look, here, I've got money. Wait, that's a hundred, that's a fifty - wait, wait, hold on - I've got... here's two bucks.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: If Celebrities were the first to walk on the moon.
Wayne: (Pretending to walk in low gravity) Whoooooooooooo! (Moonwalks)
Wayne: (Pretending to walk in low gravity) Whoooooooooooo! (Moonwalks)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Outtakes from the Hillbilly National Theater's Shakespeare Festival.
Wayne: (hillbilly accent) Yea, the two revenuers from Verona approacheth! (no audience response) Read a book, people!
Wayne: (hillbilly accent) Yea, the two revenuers from Verona approacheth! (no audience response) Read a book, people!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Sayings on hillbilly fortune cookies.
Wayne: (pretends to crack open a fortune cookie) Hell, I can't read!
Wayne: (pretends to crack open a fortune cookie) Hell, I can't read!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Rejected "Jeopardy" categories.
Wayne: I'll take Famous Klansmen for 200.
Wayne: I'll take Famous Klansmen for 200.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Things you don't want to be shouting at a party when the loud music suddenly stops.
Wayne: NO! I got a sex change!
Wayne: NO! I got a sex change!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Foreign remakes of American TV shows.
Wayne: Hey, hey, hey! Esta Alberto Grande!
Wayne: Hey, hey, hey! Esta Alberto Grande!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Ads where the product and the style don't match.
Wayne: (singing) Do do do do do do, do do do do, capital punishment.
Wayne: (singing) Do do do do do do, do do do do, capital punishment.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
D-I-V-O-R-C-E I-R-S
[piano starts]
Get out! (2x)
Listen to me, here's a fact you will believe
You cheated on me, now I'm asking you to leave
That is right, none of this is funny
Just pack your bags, and give me all your money
I said, D-I-V-O-R-C-E I-R-S!
Yeah, I said, D-I-V-O-R-C-E I-R-S!
[strikes disco pose]
[piano starts]
Get out! (2x)
Listen to me, here's a fact you will believe
You cheated on me, now I'm asking you to leave
That is right, none of this is funny
Just pack your bags, and give me all your money
I said, D-I-V-O-R-C-E I-R-S!
Yeah, I said, D-I-V-O-R-C-E I-R-S!
[strikes disco pose]
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mail
[imitates whooshing]
Because you see me when I go
I deliver through the sleet and the snow
I get this package there without fail
Thank God they came up with this word, it's called "Mail"
It's for me
[imitates whooshing]
Because you see me when I go
I deliver through the sleet and the snow
I get this package there without fail
Thank God they came up with this word, it's called "Mail"
It's for me
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: What Robin Williams is really thinking right now.
Robin Williams: I have a career! What the hell am I doing here?
Robin Williams: I have a career! What the hell am I doing here?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: Hollywood roles as played by Carol Channing.
Robin Williams: [Mimicking Carol Channing] Surely you must be the son of God!
Robin Williams: [Mimicking Carol Channing] Surely you must be the son of God!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: Things you wouldn't expect to hear from a seashell.
Robin Williams: Who's yer daddy?
Robin Williams: Who's yer daddy?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: If entertainers worked at funeral homes.
Robin Williams: [In Australian accent] Is this the loved one? [Pretends to place two things on the body] All right, start the truck, Johhny. Wow! Look at him move! Isn't it amazing, ladies and gentlement? With just six volts, you can make your relatives dance again!
Robin Williams: [In Australian accent] Is this the loved one? [Pretends to place two things on the body] All right, start the truck, Johhny. Wow! Look at him move! Isn't it amazing, ladies and gentlement? With just six volts, you can make your relatives dance again!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: Worlds worst subjects for an interpretive dance.
Robin Williams: [Crouches on the floor] Impotence... is a horrifying thing. [Stands with Wayne behind him, then hops off-stage]
Robin Williams: [Crouches on the floor] Impotence... is a horrifying thing. [Stands with Wayne behind him, then hops off-stage]
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: Bad things to yell during sex.
Kathy Griffin: YOUR NAME! I CAN'T REMEMBER YOUR NAME!
Kathy Griffin: YOUR NAME! I CAN'T REMEMBER YOUR NAME!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: If Famous Movie Lines Included Product Plugs.
Jeff Davis: Frankly my dear, I don't give a Spam. [Smiles and pretends to hold out a can]
Jeff Davis: Frankly my dear, I don't give a Spam. [Smiles and pretends to hold out a can]
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: Ads where the product and style don't match.
Jeff Davis: Say Mazel Tov to Bacon!
Jeff Davis: Say Mazel Tov to Bacon!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: Things that would make the audience boo.
Jeff Davis: Okay, so we have our potatoes simmering, now after we filet the baby seal...[Audience boos]
Jeff Davis: Okay, so we have our potatoes simmering, now after we filet the baby seal...[Audience boos]
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: What Kathy Greenwood is thinking right now.
Kathy Greenwood: Oh, god, I love this game!
Kathy Greenwood: Oh, god, I love this game!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Richard Simmons: I love this game how about you all?
Drew Carey: Suddenly it's my favorite game too.
Drew Carey: Suddenly it's my favorite game too.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Richard Simmons: I'll be the prop! I'll be all the props for these men!
Drew Carey: If I had a nickel for every time I heard that...
Drew Carey: If I had a nickel for every time I heard that...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Richard Simmons: Where's Wayne?
Drew Carey: Wayne's the winner. So he doesn't have to play this game.
Richard Simmons: But whose gonna move Wayne?
Drew Carey: He won so...
Ryan: (cuts Drew off) Wayne's already be moved
Drew Carey: Wayne's the winner. So he doesn't have to play this game.
Richard Simmons: But whose gonna move Wayne?
Drew Carey: He won so...
Ryan: (cuts Drew off) Wayne's already be moved
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Wayne:
Everyday I walk by of your place of work
And I see your bronze physique and hair and it makes my heart hurt
In my head if I could bite you I would take a little nip
Because I'm the chocolate and you're the chip!
Everyday I walk by of your place of work
And I see your bronze physique and hair and it makes my heart hurt
In my head if I could bite you I would take a little nip
Because I'm the chocolate and you're the chip!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Chip:
Oh Wayne I think you're sweet, I really feel ya
I can tell right now you've got Chip-o-phelia
But there's one thing I'm saying to you boy
Right now Wayne, CHIPS AHOY! (runs away)
Oh Wayne I think you're sweet, I really feel ya
I can tell right now you've got Chip-o-phelia
But there's one thing I'm saying to you boy
Right now Wayne, CHIPS AHOY! (runs away)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: Hey Colin!
Colin: What, Ryan?
Ryan: How much money would you pay for a two-CD set like this?
Colin: Well I don't know, 39 dollars?
Ryan: ... Unfortunately it's $69.95.
Colin: Well, I was talking 39 dollars in a foreign currency which doesn't quite...
Both: ...add up to more than that!
Ryan: All because the hits keep on coming. Who could forget that early rock and roll favorite, "Deduct This?"
Colin: What, Ryan?
Ryan: How much money would you pay for a two-CD set like this?
Colin: Well I don't know, 39 dollars?
Ryan: ... Unfortunately it's $69.95.
Colin: Well, I was talking 39 dollars in a foreign currency which doesn't quite...
Both: ...add up to more than that!
Ryan: All because the hits keep on coming. Who could forget that early rock and roll favorite, "Deduct This?"
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: Hi. Sorry to interrupt. We'll get you back to the 24-hour Drew Carey network in just a moment......but first we've got a special deal for you.
Colin: Everybody thinks accountants are boring.
Ryan: Are they?
Colin: They are! But out of great boredom comes great songs and that's why we've come up with a 25,000 hour CD filled with songs of accouting.
Ryan: That's right, we have, Colin. Many different songs. Who could forget that disco favorite, D-I-V-O-R-C-E IRS?
Colin: Everybody thinks accountants are boring.
Ryan: Are they?
Colin: They are! But out of great boredom comes great songs and that's why we've come up with a 25,000 hour CD filled with songs of accouting.
Ryan: That's right, we have, Colin. Many different songs. Who could forget that disco favorite, D-I-V-O-R-C-E IRS?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?