The Closer Quotes
Brenda: So, you both worked for the Pruitts?
Gardener: Yes.
Brenda: And were you working at the Pruitts' house two evenings ago?
Gardener: [Looking at his partner, not really understanding English] Yes.
Brenda: And did you climb Mt. Everest in your undershorts?
Gardener: Yes
Sanchez: Maybe this would go a little quicker if I handled it, Chief.
Brenda: Ya think?
Sanchez: [Imitating a heavy accent] Jes.
Gardener: Yes.
Brenda: And were you working at the Pruitts' house two evenings ago?
Gardener: [Looking at his partner, not really understanding English] Yes.
Brenda: And did you climb Mt. Everest in your undershorts?
Gardener: Yes
Sanchez: Maybe this would go a little quicker if I handled it, Chief.
Brenda: Ya think?
Sanchez: [Imitating a heavy accent] Jes.
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: I speak German, Russian, and am fully conversant in Czech, and I have to move to the one city where half of the people are from Latin America?
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: Did he just say avocado?
Buzz: No. Abogado.
Brenda: What does that mean?
Buzz: Attorney.
Buzz: No. Abogado.
Brenda: What does that mean?
Buzz: Attorney.
TV Show: The Closer
Mrs. Lopez: If you insist on coming back here without our permission, I intend to report you to your superiors for harassment.
Brenda: You might have to take a number.
Brenda: You might have to take a number.
TV Show: The Closer
Gabriel: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Brenda: I don't know. What are you thinking?
Gabriel: I'm thinking that no one could have gotten from here to Pruitt's house and back in under an hour. I mean there were shows at the Greek and Hollywood Bowl. It would have been bumper to bumper for miles. Is that what you were thinking?
Brenda: No. I was thinking about the subway.
Gabriel: Oh, yeah. We got a subway.
Brenda: I don't know. What are you thinking?
Gabriel: I'm thinking that no one could have gotten from here to Pruitt's house and back in under an hour. I mean there were shows at the Greek and Hollywood Bowl. It would have been bumper to bumper for miles. Is that what you were thinking?
Brenda: No. I was thinking about the subway.
Gabriel: Oh, yeah. We got a subway.
TV Show: The Closer
Gabriel: I've never ridden the subway. Something about going underground in a city that shakes. Kinda freaks me out a bit.
TV Show: The Closer
Gabriel: [To Brenda] Look, I know this is a mess now, but you'll find your way through it...eventually. I know you will. I know you will.
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: Lt. Provenza...
Provenza: Flynn and I are going to go back to Sandy.
Brenda: Why, exactly?
Flynn: Tie up loose ends.
Provenza: Girl's loose ends need tying.
Provenza: Flynn and I are going to go back to Sandy.
Brenda: Why, exactly?
Flynn: Tie up loose ends.
Provenza: Girl's loose ends need tying.
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: [To PHD team] I just want to say that there's been a complaint lodged against me - an anonymous complaint with Internal Affairs and there's a meeting about it tomorrow, and I don't know what's going to happen. Interrogating people, getting to the truth and knowing the right thing to do politically are two very different things. In fact, to do either of them very well, you have to pretty much ignore one of them altogether, which is what I've done. So now...I'm in trouble again, and I don't know if I'll even be here tomorrow evening, and if I'm not, I just wanted to tell you all how much I've enjoyed working with you. Y'all are just, just really great people.
TV Show: The Closer
Provenza: Ok. We all know what's going on here. The smart move is to not get involved until the dust settles.
Flynn: Yeah. That's the smart move, alright. What's your idea?
Flynn: Yeah. That's the smart move, alright. What's your idea?
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: I'd like to start with you, Ms. Powell. I'd like to say how sorry I am that I was unable to ignore your general level of incompetence in the wrongly obtained conviction in the case of Bill Croelick. And I'm sorry if you felt hurt and defensive about putting a man on death row for the wrong crime, and I certainly hope that that will never, ever happen again. Agent Jackson, I deeply regret that the FBI handed over two million dollars to a man on a terrorist watch list without the capacity to trace it, or managed to follow him for months without knowing his wife was having an affair with a doctor, and I hope you do much better in the future. Captain Taylor, I suppose I should apologize to you for not having been born in Los Angeles, but having seen you work up close now for several months, I can honestly say that try as I might, I can't think of any fair and reasonable system on earth where I wouldn't outrank you. There. I hope that clears everything up.
TV Show: The Closer
Dennis: Hey, whoa. Why don't you people just wait in the living room?
Gabriel: Hey, first of all we're not "you people", we're Los Angeles police, and when we show up unexpectedly, it's not because we have a problem, it's because you do. Now I suggest you step aside and be quiet.
Gabriel: Hey, first of all we're not "you people", we're Los Angeles police, and when we show up unexpectedly, it's not because we have a problem, it's because you do. Now I suggest you step aside and be quiet.
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: Lieutenant Flynn, your resignation surprised me most of all. The whole time I've been here, you've never said one complimentary thing about or to me.
Flynn: Chief, you have really great legs.
Flynn: Chief, you have really great legs.
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: Are you wearing your gun?
Fritz: [smiles] Yeah.
Brenda: Can I have it?
Fritz: What's wrong with yours?
Brenda: Well, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm off duty. So, would you let me borrow yours? For a minute, please? [Fritz hands her his sidearm] Could it really be that simple? [aims at mirror] Bang.
Fritz: What are you doing?
Brenda: Trust me... Trust me. [crouches down] Now walk towards me like you're trying to find out what I'm doing.
Fritz: [still smiling] I am trying to find out what you're doing.
Brenda: ["aims" hairbrush at Fritz] Bang. See? That's how I shoot Barak with Martin's gun, and then I shoot Martin with Barak's. That's how. 'Cause he knew Barak was coming. That's how. [kisses him] That's how.
Fritz: [smiles] Yeah.
Brenda: Can I have it?
Fritz: What's wrong with yours?
Brenda: Well, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm off duty. So, would you let me borrow yours? For a minute, please? [Fritz hands her his sidearm] Could it really be that simple? [aims at mirror] Bang.
Fritz: What are you doing?
Brenda: Trust me... Trust me. [crouches down] Now walk towards me like you're trying to find out what I'm doing.
Fritz: [still smiling] I am trying to find out what you're doing.
Brenda: ["aims" hairbrush at Fritz] Bang. See? That's how I shoot Barak with Martin's gun, and then I shoot Martin with Barak's. That's how. 'Cause he knew Barak was coming. That's how. [kisses him] That's how.
TV Show: The Closer
Provenza: Gimme $100.
Flynn: I already gave you $100.
Provenza: You're way up.
Flynn: So what? You know where the ATM is. Besides, I say we cash in.
Provenza: Fine, fine, fine, we'll cash in. [grabs Ari] C'mon, Ari. You're cashing in, too.
Ari: Hey, don't touch me. [looking at Provenza's shirt] Who the hell are you, anyway?
Flynn: LAPD. We're here to give you a lift home.
Ari: Put that away, you stupid... look, I'm not leaving. And you can't do anything to me here anyway.
Provenza: Oh really? Hey! Hey everybody! Listen up! I wanna tell you about my friend Ari here.
Ari: Hey! Shut up, you idiot, you're gonna get me killed!
Flynn: Hey moron, now imagine us doing that, only on television, and all your cousin's friends find out that you're a snitch.
Provenza: [shoving all of Ari's chips to the center] And don't forget to tip the dealer.
Flynn: Let's go.
Flynn: I already gave you $100.
Provenza: You're way up.
Flynn: So what? You know where the ATM is. Besides, I say we cash in.
Provenza: Fine, fine, fine, we'll cash in. [grabs Ari] C'mon, Ari. You're cashing in, too.
Ari: Hey, don't touch me. [looking at Provenza's shirt] Who the hell are you, anyway?
Flynn: LAPD. We're here to give you a lift home.
Ari: Put that away, you stupid... look, I'm not leaving. And you can't do anything to me here anyway.
Provenza: Oh really? Hey! Hey everybody! Listen up! I wanna tell you about my friend Ari here.
Ari: Hey! Shut up, you idiot, you're gonna get me killed!
Flynn: Hey moron, now imagine us doing that, only on television, and all your cousin's friends find out that you're a snitch.
Provenza: [shoving all of Ari's chips to the center] And don't forget to tip the dealer.
Flynn: Let's go.
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: [handing the bride her cake topper] I'm sorry. I almost forgot. You know, giving this back to you, is almost as sweet as... the icing on your cake.
TV Show: The Closer
Michelle Morgan: [the body blocking the church stairs leading to her wedding] Excuse me! I don't know what is going on here, but I want that body moved this instant!
Brenda: Do you think he... might have been involved with her? [about the dead girl]
Maggie Hodge: With Ray's heart, he couldn't raise a flag...and viagra would have been suicide.
Brenda: Do you think he... might have been involved with her? [about the dead girl]
Maggie Hodge: With Ray's heart, he couldn't raise a flag...and viagra would have been suicide.
TV Show: The Closer
Hubbard: [agitated]I'm his father! Charlie's my son! I taught him how to walk! And I taught him how to read! And I taught him... I've been with him through seven surgeries and 38 procedures! And where was the great Tim Martin when it mattered, huh? Huh? Where was he? When Charlie's life was on the line? Where was he? Where was Tim Martin?
Brenda: I don't know, Det. Hubbard. But I know where he is now. I saw his brains splattered all over the floor of an abandoned warehouse while his body was being eaten by flies, and I can't help but think you may have overreacted.
Hubbard: You can't. You can't tell Charlie about him, this, you won't do that.
Brenda: I can and I will.
Taylor: Hey, hey, hey. Write it all down and we'll get you a deal from the D.A.
Brenda: You can wear a bracelet and stay with Charlie until his illness...resolves itself.
Brenda: I don't know, Det. Hubbard. But I know where he is now. I saw his brains splattered all over the floor of an abandoned warehouse while his body was being eaten by flies, and I can't help but think you may have overreacted.
Hubbard: You can't. You can't tell Charlie about him, this, you won't do that.
Brenda: I can and I will.
Taylor: Hey, hey, hey. Write it all down and we'll get you a deal from the D.A.
Brenda: You can wear a bracelet and stay with Charlie until his illness...resolves itself.
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: Good morning, Det. Xavier, and the elusive Mr. Cohen. Here you are! So kind of you to join us.
Ari: I was dragged here against my will, and all I'm going to do is plead the Fifth.
Brenda: You can't plead the Fifth.
Ari: I can't?
Brenda: It would be a violation of the agreement you made with the D.A. to be a cooperating witness. So if you plead the Fifth, I'll arrest you as an accomplice in a double-homicide. So please, Mr. Cohen, do take a seat.
Ari: I was dragged here against my will, and all I'm going to do is plead the Fifth.
Brenda: You can't plead the Fifth.
Ari: I can't?
Brenda: It would be a violation of the agreement you made with the D.A. to be a cooperating witness. So if you plead the Fifth, I'll arrest you as an accomplice in a double-homicide. So please, Mr. Cohen, do take a seat.
TV Show: The Closer
Capt. Leahy: Ma'am, I want to note you've used your investigation to smear Tim Martin's reputation and in this department that's just not the way we play ball.
Brenda: Well, Captain, if you don't like the way I'm doing things, you're free to take your balls and go straight home.
Brenda: Well, Captain, if you don't like the way I'm doing things, you're free to take your balls and go straight home.
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: Did you make the match?
Tao: Any minute.
Brenda: You don't have it?
Tao: It's coming.
Brenda: Lt. Tao, I need to start this interview, and if you don't finish I could be up a nasty-smelling creek without a paddle!
Tao: Just go slow. As soon as the match comes through I'll bring it directly to Gabriel. [Hands her two small chocolate-covered eclairs] Here. For all our sakes. Please.
Brenda: [accepts them] Thank you.
Tao: Any minute.
Brenda: You don't have it?
Tao: It's coming.
Brenda: Lt. Tao, I need to start this interview, and if you don't finish I could be up a nasty-smelling creek without a paddle!
Tao: Just go slow. As soon as the match comes through I'll bring it directly to Gabriel. [Hands her two small chocolate-covered eclairs] Here. For all our sakes. Please.
Brenda: [accepts them] Thank you.
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: [looks at phone as it's ringing, sighs] How do they always know? [answers it] Hi Mama. How are you?...I'm good. I'm at work, but I have a minute. Is everything all right?... [Fritz enters] Great Aunt Who? Mama, is this someone I've even met?...No, I just ran upstairs and I'm out of breath. ... I don't know where Santa Clarita is.
Fritz: It's just north of here.
Brenda: [shushes him] Alright, I'll send her a get well card or something. Can you spell the last name? E-U-L-E-S-S...Mama, I have never met this woman before in my life, I swear...Well, what's wrong with her?...Oh for heaven's sake. If she's been in a coma for two years, how much worse can she get?...Look, I can't talk about this right now because I'm about to, um, interview a serial killer who just stabbed 30 people to death. Alright, alright. OK. Bye!
Fritz: It's just north of here.
Brenda: [shushes him] Alright, I'll send her a get well card or something. Can you spell the last name? E-U-L-E-S-S...Mama, I have never met this woman before in my life, I swear...Well, what's wrong with her?...Oh for heaven's sake. If she's been in a coma for two years, how much worse can she get?...Look, I can't talk about this right now because I'm about to, um, interview a serial killer who just stabbed 30 people to death. Alright, alright. OK. Bye!
TV Show: The Closer
Flynn: So, he's not in his room. [Provenza keeps playing] And I think we've pretty well determined he's not over here. And where'd you get that shirt anyway? The '80s?
Provenza: Your ex-wife loved it. Said it was easier to unbutton than anything you ever wore. Put your glasses on, old man; turn around and take a gander. Ari's right over there playing blackjack. And there's two open seats next to him. Now I say that we put him under tight surveillance for an hour or so.
Flynn: You're kidding me, right? That's a $25 table.
Provenza: There's an ATM next to the cashier, and I am feeling luck-eeeee.
Provenza: Your ex-wife loved it. Said it was easier to unbutton than anything you ever wore. Put your glasses on, old man; turn around and take a gander. Ari's right over there playing blackjack. And there's two open seats next to him. Now I say that we put him under tight surveillance for an hour or so.
Flynn: You're kidding me, right? That's a $25 table.
Provenza: There's an ATM next to the cashier, and I am feeling luck-eeeee.
TV Show: The Closer
Taylor: Chief Johnson?
Brenda: Yes?
Taylor: I just want to make sure I understand why you're bringing Det. Xavier back in?
Brenda: I want to question him.
Taylor: Why?
Brenda: Because I need more answers.
Taylor: Did you ever ask him where he was last Saturday morning when the murders were committed? Because I looked into it, and he was at home, on the phone for two hours.
Brenda: Well, his line was busy. That doesn't mean he was on it.
Taylor: I'm trying to help you here, Chief. Xavier has an excellent record, and yes, Tim Martin, he might have been a womanizer, but if you can't tell how much people respected him around here, you're not looking.
Brenda: Trust me. I see it.
Taylor: If you end up smearing a man who gave his life to the badge ...
Brenda: I have factored your concerns into how I'm dealing with this case. Anything else commander?
Taylor: No ma'am. Just trying to be of assistance.
Brenda: Yes?
Taylor: I just want to make sure I understand why you're bringing Det. Xavier back in?
Brenda: I want to question him.
Taylor: Why?
Brenda: Because I need more answers.
Taylor: Did you ever ask him where he was last Saturday morning when the murders were committed? Because I looked into it, and he was at home, on the phone for two hours.
Brenda: Well, his line was busy. That doesn't mean he was on it.
Taylor: I'm trying to help you here, Chief. Xavier has an excellent record, and yes, Tim Martin, he might have been a womanizer, but if you can't tell how much people respected him around here, you're not looking.
Brenda: Trust me. I see it.
Taylor: If you end up smearing a man who gave his life to the badge ...
Brenda: I have factored your concerns into how I'm dealing with this case. Anything else commander?
Taylor: No ma'am. Just trying to be of assistance.
TV Show: The Closer
Linda: If you're gonna treat me like a criminal, shouldn't I have an attorney?
Brenda: Oh, we'd get in such trouble if we gave legal advice. I was trying to get you in and out, but if having a lawyer would make you feel more comfortable, you just call one, and we'll wait. That's the nice thing about working for the government. You get paid for just being here.
Linda: That's how you're treating Tim's death? As an overtime opportunity?
Brenda: Well, I was going to ask you some questions ...
Linda: What do you think I could know?
Brenda: Well, I'm not sure, ma'am. But there was a third person in that warehouse and we're trying to figure out who that could've been. I'm only bringing it up because you were the first person to report him missing, and you are licensed to carry a handgun.
Linda: And I carry a handgun because it is my constitutional right to do so. And I have an ex who is also a cop and likes to drive by my house sometimes at night and flash his brights in my window. He even knocked on the door at Tim's one night. Drunk.
Brenda: Are you talking about Lawrence Xavier?
Linda: I am.
Gabriel: If he intimidated you, why didn't you report him?
Linda: Because Tim talked me out of it. He said he'd put a stop to it, and he did. And I only got one more call from Lawrence complaining about how much money he had wasted on our dates. So I sent him a check for $1,000 by messenger and y'know what? He cashed it, too. A------.
Brenda: Oh, we'd get in such trouble if we gave legal advice. I was trying to get you in and out, but if having a lawyer would make you feel more comfortable, you just call one, and we'll wait. That's the nice thing about working for the government. You get paid for just being here.
Linda: That's how you're treating Tim's death? As an overtime opportunity?
Brenda: Well, I was going to ask you some questions ...
Linda: What do you think I could know?
Brenda: Well, I'm not sure, ma'am. But there was a third person in that warehouse and we're trying to figure out who that could've been. I'm only bringing it up because you were the first person to report him missing, and you are licensed to carry a handgun.
Linda: And I carry a handgun because it is my constitutional right to do so. And I have an ex who is also a cop and likes to drive by my house sometimes at night and flash his brights in my window. He even knocked on the door at Tim's one night. Drunk.
Brenda: Are you talking about Lawrence Xavier?
Linda: I am.
Gabriel: If he intimidated you, why didn't you report him?
Linda: Because Tim talked me out of it. He said he'd put a stop to it, and he did. And I only got one more call from Lawrence complaining about how much money he had wasted on our dates. So I sent him a check for $1,000 by messenger and y'know what? He cashed it, too. A------.
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: We'll talk about this...all this...later...this evening or something...
Fritz: This reluctance of yours, it has nothing to do with what's going on with Pope, does it?
Brenda: What's going on with Pope?
Fritz: His wife served him with divorce papers last Friday. You didn't know?
Brenda: No.
Fritz: What do you do for a living again?
Fritz: This reluctance of yours, it has nothing to do with what's going on with Pope, does it?
Brenda: What's going on with Pope?
Fritz: His wife served him with divorce papers last Friday. You didn't know?
Brenda: No.
Fritz: What do you do for a living again?
TV Show: The Closer
Buzz: [Cleaning up his workstation, handing the snack wrappers to Sanchez] Guys, this is a surveillance center, not a concession stand. And I'm not your maid, ok?!
Sanchez: Why don't you calm down, Buzz?
Sanchez: Why don't you calm down, Buzz?
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: Detective, what do you think of my lipstick?
Daniels: Uh, you asking me as a friend or the Chief?
Daniels: Uh, you asking me as a friend or the Chief?
TV Show: The Closer
Brenda: I can manage this. You look tired. Why don't you head on home?
Pope: [Rolls eyes] Please don't use the techniques you employ in there [pointing to the Interrogation Room] on me. Something you'd like to know, ask me.
Brenda: Well, I didn't think it was any of my business. I just...I heard you were getting a divorce, that's all.
Pope: I'm not getting a divorce. Estelle's getting a divorce. The job, the hours. She's seeing someone else. They're getting married. So no alimony. She doesn't want our kids because he doesn't want them. So there's that. And y'know, at some point it will...stop hurting and I'll just...hate her and go on with my life.
Pope: [Rolls eyes] Please don't use the techniques you employ in there [pointing to the Interrogation Room] on me. Something you'd like to know, ask me.
Brenda: Well, I didn't think it was any of my business. I just...I heard you were getting a divorce, that's all.
Pope: I'm not getting a divorce. Estelle's getting a divorce. The job, the hours. She's seeing someone else. They're getting married. So no alimony. She doesn't want our kids because he doesn't want them. So there's that. And y'know, at some point it will...stop hurting and I'll just...hate her and go on with my life.
TV Show: The Closer