Stargate SG-1 Quotes

Capt. Carter: Do you know anything about quantum gravity?
Teal'c: No.
Capt. Carter: Apparently, neither do I.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Watching the video feed from the doomed men and women of SG-10, slowed by the time dilation effects of the black hole's gravity]
General Hammond: There's nothing we can do to save them?
Col. O'Neill: They've had it, sir.
General Hammond: You know that for a fact, Colonel?
Col. O'Neill: No, sir, I don't. But have a look at Major Boyd's face. What does that tell you?
General Hammond: Very well. Disengage the Stargate.
Capt. Carter: Sir, by some fluke of Stargate technology, we are witnessing something that the laws of physics say we can't possibly witness.
Col. O'Neill: (angrily) We are witnessing good men dying in slow motion, Captain.
Capt. Carter: (embarrassed) You're right, sir.
General Hammond: Shut it down.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Colonel Cromwell: Man, she is--
Jack O'Neill: Way smarter than we are. I know.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Jack O'Neill: Oh, yeah. Yeah. We're pulling some major gees now.
Colonel Cromwell: I feel like I put on a couple hundred pounds.
Jack O'Neill: I wasn't going to say anything.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: What do you want?
Apophis: To live.
Col. O'Neill: Can't help you there. That's between you and your god. Oh, wait a minute! You are your god! That's a problem.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Apophis: I am worth far more to you than you will admit.
Col. O'Neill: You tell me what are you worth?
Apophis: Your people, they are still primitive. They will be destroyed.
Col. O'Neill: You don't look like you're up to it.
Apophis: Not me. There is another.
Col. O'Neill: Yeah? Who?
Apophis: There is much you would learn from me, Tau'ri. [breathes heavily] But for that knowledge there is a price.
[Col. O'Neill rolls his eyes.]
Apophis: A new host.
Col. O'Neill: [raises his eyebrows] A host?
Apophis: So that I may live. In exchange for all the knowledge of the Goa'uld. The secrets of star travel, our weapons, our power.
Col. O'Neill: All that…
Apophis: In time, more.
Col. O'Neill: [leans down] Go to hell.
Apophis: A single human life is worth so much you would risk a world?
Col. O'Neill: That's right. That's why they call us the good guys.
[Apophis lies back and exhales.]
Col. O'Neill: Doc, let me know when he dies.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[SG-1 is discussing Sokar]
Col. O'Neill: Which is he?
Dr. Jackson: I don't know, but his portion of Tuat, or the otherworld, was filled with lakes of fire, where the wicked were thrown into as punishment after torture and mutilation.
Col. O'Neill: Hell.
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, basically, he was the original Satan.
Col. O'Neill: Well, isn't that special?

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Apophis: Teal'c, there was once a time you would have died for me.
Teal'c: That time is no more.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Holy...buckets.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Teal'c and Col. O'Neill have just returned to the SGC through the stargate]
Gen. Hammond: How did it go?
Teal'c: [in Col. O'Neill's body] It did not go well, Gen. Hammond.
Col. O'Neill: [in Teal'c's body, sarcastically] Ya think?

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Describe for me... the dress your sister wore last week when I took her out.
Dr. Jackson: [In Ma'Chello's body] I don't have a sister Jack, and even if I did, I wouldn't let you near her.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Ma'chello: [in Daniel's body, speaking to people who ignore him] Hello, friend. I am new to this area. I would like to learn about your culture and customs. Will you teach me? Do you not understand me?
Fred: Spare any change, please?
Ma'chello: Why does no one answer me?
Fred: 'Cause you're strange.
Ma'chello: Am I? Tell me how I am strange.
Fred: Man, you can't be just walking up to people you don't know on the street and talking all weird like that, asking for stuff.
Ma'chello: Isn't that what you are doing?
Fred: Well, yeah, but--
Ma'chello: Then you must be strange as well.
Fred: I been called worse. Sure, I'm strange, too.
Ma'chello: I am called Ma'chello.
Fred: I'm Fred.
Ma'chello: Let us feast together, Fred, and celebrate our strangeness and... new-found friendship.
Fred: On you?
Ma'chello: If that is the custom, we will feast [indicates himself] on me.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Ma'chello: [in Dr. Jackson's body] I do not wish to fight any longer. From now on I only want to eat hamburgers and french fries and ice cream sundaes and I want to be with good people like you, Fred.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Jack O'Neill: [In Teal'c's body] Teal'c, what are you doing?
Teal'c: [In Jack's body] If I am to remain in this body, I must shave my head
Jack O'Neill: [In Teal'c's body] You're making a joke, right?
Teal'c: [In Jack's body] I am not joking.
Jack O'Neill: [In Teal'c's body] Teal'c, you will not shave my head!
Teal'c: [In Jack's body] It is presently my head, O'Neill.
Jack O'Neill: [In Teal'c's body] Teal'c, this is only temporary!
Teal'c: [In Jack's body] And if it is not?
Jack O'Neill: [In Teal'c's body] Just give them a chance to find Daniel, okay? Teal'c, I'm going to see General Hammond. Promise me, you won't touch, the head, until I get back.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: Déjà vu.
Teal'c: I am unfamiliar with that term.
Dr. Jackson: It means, "I feel like I've been here before."
Teal'c: That is correct, Daniel Jackson. Yesterday, when we first arrived on this planet.
Dr. Jackson: [Pause] Right. What was I thinking?


Dr. Jackson: Well, I have to admit this is one of the stranger cultures I've ever seen. As far as I can tell, they're communal, but there's very little sign of actual social communication. I haven't seen any tools or signs of a functional civilization.
Col. O'Neill: So they're a little less evolved than we are.
Dr. Jackson: Well, we don't wanna jump to any conclusions. Remember the Nox.
Capt. Carter: And they did build these...homes.
Col. O'Neill: That's a kind appraisal. What about the UAV?
Dr. Jackson: Well, I've tried everything I know about rudimentary communication, and to be honest, I've had more successful conversations with dogs.
Col. O'Neill: So...
Dr. Jackson: So they're probably a little less evolved than we are.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: Can you do me a favor? Could you keep an eye on this plant thing for me?
Teal'c: I will keep both of my eyes on it, Daniel Jackson.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Witness if you will: Squat.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: So what's the plan?
Col. O'Neill: Find the Stargate.
Dr. Jackson: Find the Stargate? That's the plan?
Col. O'Neill: Elegant in its simplicity, don't you think?

TV Show: Stargate SG-1