Robot Chicken Quotes
Red Shirt Crewman: I'm Toby the Red Shirt. You need a red shirt, you just do.
Mr. Spock: Quite logical.
Scotty: Sure.
Mr. Spock: Quite logical.
Scotty: Sure.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Red Shirt Crewman: Aww, fuck all you all!
Mr. Spock: It is your duty as a crewman.
Red Shirt Crewman: Screw that. On behalf of all the red shirts who fell before me, it makes me proud to speak the following sentence. [long pause] I'm the only one who brought a gun.
Kirk: Ohhh....
Mr. Spock: It is your duty as a crewman.
Red Shirt Crewman: Screw that. On behalf of all the red shirts who fell before me, it makes me proud to speak the following sentence. [long pause] I'm the only one who brought a gun.
Kirk: Ohhh....
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Snow Job: Hey guys, going on a mission? Can I come?
Flint: Sorry Snow Job, this mission doesn't require ski's.
Gung-Ho: Wearin' a blindingly white outfit in the middle of jungle warfare makes you a very shootable target, man!
Snow Job: Bunch of G.I. Jerks!
Flint: Sorry Snow Job, this mission doesn't require ski's.
Gung-Ho: Wearin' a blindingly white outfit in the middle of jungle warfare makes you a very shootable target, man!
Snow Job: Bunch of G.I. Jerks!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Calvin: Native Americans would be more plentiful if they hadn't traded their land for casinos!
Hobbes: Well, cowboys never even existed! They're just a masculine image campaign purported by Marlboro!
Calvin's Dad: I think something's wrong with our son.
Hobbes: Well, cowboys never even existed! They're just a masculine image campaign purported by Marlboro!
Calvin's Dad: I think something's wrong with our son.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Hobbes: Calvin, your parents don't believe [that Hobbes is alive]. We have to kill them. [gets out a chainsaw.]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[A man is standing next to another man. The first man takes out a cell phone and takes a picture of his penis. Then he sends it to someone who he thinks is the other man. Then, the phone rings.]
Man: Hello? Grandma! Oh G-I'm sorry! No, I-I must've misdialed.
Man: Hello? Grandma! Oh G-I'm sorry! No, I-I must've misdialed.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Cameron Diaz: [Hits Bill Murray with a baseball bat.] That's for making Lucy Liu cry on the set of Charlie's Angels, Bill Murray! [Then goes to another house and hits Ben Stiller with the bat.] That's for giving me cancer with your fake semen, Ben Stiller!
Ben Stiller: I was just an actor! That stuff gave me cancer too!
Cameron Diaz: Well--[hits him again.] That's for having cancer!
Ben Stiller: I was just an actor! That stuff gave me cancer too!
Cameron Diaz: Well--[hits him again.] That's for having cancer!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[Mario & Luigi have driven their go-kart into an auto-repair garage and come out with a customized car.]
Mario: Mamma Mia! Luigi, we got-a pimped-out-a ride!
Mario: Mamma Mia! Luigi, we got-a pimped-out-a ride!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[after evading the police, Mario & Luigi drive up to a prostitute.]
Mario: Look, Luigi! It's the princess! [to prostitute] Princess, you must-a come with us!
Prostitute: I'll suck your cock for fifty bucks!
Mario: Princess!
Luigi: Do you accept-a coins?
Mario: Look, Luigi! It's the princess! [to prostitute] Princess, you must-a come with us!
Prostitute: I'll suck your cock for fifty bucks!
Mario: Princess!
Luigi: Do you accept-a coins?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Mushroom Seller: [giving Mario one] This is some really good shit, man.
[Mario eats it and gets high to heal his wounded shoulder.]
Mario: Ah-ha-hi! Oo-hoo! Wow! I feel-a really good! Look at the pretty colors. Ha-hi! Hoo-hoo! Hee-hee!
[Police sirens. The Mushroom Seller and Prostitute flee from the scene.]
Luigi: Oh, Jesus! It's-a the fuzz!
Mario: [thinks he see coins on the road] Ah-ha-ha! I-a feel so funny! Look, There's-a coins everywhere! Ha-ha! I'm-a rich!
Luigi: Mario, no!
[the coins are actually pedestrians as Mario hits them with the car.]
Luigi: I think I should-a drive!
[they crash and fly out of the car.]
Officer 1: Freeze! Put your hands in the air!
Officer 2: Hey, he's [Luigi] got a wrench!
Officer 1: Take him down!
[Officers shoot Luigi.]
Mario: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! He's-a marinating in his own Ragù! You killed-a my brother! You sons of-a bitches! [grabs a machine gun and shoots everything in his way.]
[The army and SWAT show up.]
Mario: You'll never take me alive, you mother f--[everyone shoots him.]
[Mario eats it and gets high to heal his wounded shoulder.]
Mario: Ah-ha-hi! Oo-hoo! Wow! I feel-a really good! Look at the pretty colors. Ha-hi! Hoo-hoo! Hee-hee!
[Police sirens. The Mushroom Seller and Prostitute flee from the scene.]
Luigi: Oh, Jesus! It's-a the fuzz!
Mario: [thinks he see coins on the road] Ah-ha-ha! I-a feel so funny! Look, There's-a coins everywhere! Ha-ha! I'm-a rich!
Luigi: Mario, no!
[the coins are actually pedestrians as Mario hits them with the car.]
Luigi: I think I should-a drive!
[they crash and fly out of the car.]
Officer 1: Freeze! Put your hands in the air!
Officer 2: Hey, he's [Luigi] got a wrench!
Officer 1: Take him down!
[Officers shoot Luigi.]
Mario: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! He's-a marinating in his own Ragù! You killed-a my brother! You sons of-a bitches! [grabs a machine gun and shoots everything in his way.]
[The army and SWAT show up.]
Mario: You'll never take me alive, you mother f--[everyone shoots him.]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Yoshi: [on go-kart; looks at the two roads and goes right; sign says "Raccoon City] Hmmm...Raccoon City sounds lovely! [in the city; looks like a warzone; zombies appear and eat Yoshi]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Recording Producer: Okay, lets take it from the top.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: [singing in comically deep "terrible" voices] Christmas, Christmas time is hereTime for nuts and time for beer
David Seville: [Still hearing their "terrible" voices] Aw, they're just so terrible! They've eaten me out of house and home! They've got to go!
[David throws a canister of deadly helium into the recording booth, which causes the Chipmunks' voices to become extremely high and much better.]
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Christmas, Christmas, poop-de-poopDon't buy me a hula hoop
David: They're fantastic!
Recording Producer: This could sell thousands of albums.
David: [noticing that the Chipmunks have collapsed from inhaling too much helium] Oh right... the deadly helium.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: [singing in comically deep "terrible" voices] Christmas, Christmas time is hereTime for nuts and time for beer
David Seville: [Still hearing their "terrible" voices] Aw, they're just so terrible! They've eaten me out of house and home! They've got to go!
[David throws a canister of deadly helium into the recording booth, which causes the Chipmunks' voices to become extremely high and much better.]
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Christmas, Christmas, poop-de-poopDon't buy me a hula hoop
David: They're fantastic!
Recording Producer: This could sell thousands of albums.
David: [noticing that the Chipmunks have collapsed from inhaling too much helium] Oh right... the deadly helium.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Man: She'll have the chef salad and I'll have... I'll have the steak.
Lobster: Yeah, yeah you better order the steak punk, don't want none o' this bitch, take these rubberbands off an' I'ma go clack-clack all up in your face mother--
Lobster: Yeah, yeah you better order the steak punk, don't want none o' this bitch, take these rubberbands off an' I'ma go clack-clack all up in your face mother--
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Big Bird: Uugh! I feel like I'm gonna blow up the chunks on bird seed. [vomits, then falls down.]
Elmo: Oh no, Big Bird has the bird flu!
Grover: The Word of the Day is Quarantine! Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E, Quarantine!
Elmo: Oh no, Big Bird has the bird flu!
Grover: The Word of the Day is Quarantine! Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E, Quarantine!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Big Bird; Snuffelupagus... is that you?
Doctor: Oh, he must be hallucinating.
Snuffy: Hi, Bird, I'm so sorry you're sick.
Big Bird: I'm scared, Snuffy, thank God you can't get it, since you're not real. [Big Bird then dies]
Snuffy: Yeah, thank G-- [disappears]
Count von Count: [Handing out vaccines to Bert and crew of Sesame Street] One vaccine, a-hah-hah, Two vaccines, a-hah-hah!
Doctor: Oh, he must be hallucinating.
Snuffy: Hi, Bird, I'm so sorry you're sick.
Big Bird: I'm scared, Snuffy, thank God you can't get it, since you're not real. [Big Bird then dies]
Snuffy: Yeah, thank G-- [disappears]
Count von Count: [Handing out vaccines to Bert and crew of Sesame Street] One vaccine, a-hah-hah, Two vaccines, a-hah-hah!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Three Kids: One of these kids is not like the other, one of these kids is dead!
Announcer: Today's episode brought to you by the letters C.D.C.
Announcer: Today's episode brought to you by the letters C.D.C.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Bee: Hey, boys and girls, remember to bee yourself. [pauses] And don't fuck with us or we'll sting you all at once and kill you.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Sock Puppet #1: Boy, being a sock puppet really sucks, huh?
Sock Puppet #2: Yeah, especially when your puppet master is a 14-year old boy who whacks off in your face every night.[The puppet master chuckles]
Sock Puppet #2: Yeah, especially when your puppet master is a 14-year old boy who whacks off in your face every night.[The puppet master chuckles]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Police Snail: [extremely slowly] You are going too fast! Pull over immediately!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Professor: [Laughing] Ah Projaq, you're a gift of former mad scientists everywhere; with your help I'll use my inventions for good, right boys?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Robot: Aw, being alive holds such amazing wonders!
Police Men: Freeze, uh hands a-above your head sir!
Robot: I love you all!
Police Men: Freeze, uh hands a-above your head sir!
Robot: I love you all!
TV Show: Robot Chicken