Leave it to Beaver Quotes


June Cleaver: Dear, do you think all parents have this much trouble?
Ward Cleaver: No, just parents with children.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

June Cleaver: Eddie seems to know a lot about the law.
Wally Cleaver: Yeah, he told his father, in three years he's going over the wall.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

June Cleaver: Eddie, would you care to stay for dinner? We're having roast beef.
Eddie Haskell: No thank you, Mrs. Cleaver. I really must be getting home. We're having squab this evening.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

June Cleaver: Wally, where are you going?
Wally Cleaver: I'm going over to slug Eddie.
June Cleaver: That's no way to talk, this is Sunday.
Wally Cleaver: You're right, I'll wait 'til tomorrow and slug him in the cafeteria.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

June Cleaver: Ward, I'm very worried about the Beaver.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Mrs. Margaret Mondello: Things would be all right if my daughter could just find a husband. Then we'd always have a man around to give it to Larry when his father's out of town.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Fred Rutherford: [Wally and Eddie's prank on Lumpy has backfired] Clarence! Did you wrap this chain around the axle of your car and then try to drive off?
Clarence 'Lumpy' Rutherford: Gosh no, Daddy! Why would I do something like that?
Fred Rutherford: It just seems like something you would do.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Fred Rutherford: Have to keep a firm hand on boys nowadays, Ward. My Clarence answered me back the other day. I smacked him right in the mouth. None of this psychology for me.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Wally Cleaver: [Ward has told the boys how he used to walk to school as a kid] [to Beaver]
Wally Cleaver: Yeah, every year the distance gets longer and the snow gets deeper.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Wally Cleaver: Are you being a wise guy?

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Wally Cleaver: Are you giving me the business?

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Wally Cleaver: Boy, Beaver, wait'll the guys find out you were hanging around with a girl. They'll really give you the business.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: But gee, Wally, you hang around with girls and the guys don't give you the business.
Wally Cleaver: Well, that's because I'm in high school. You can do a lot of stuff in high school without getting the business.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Wally Cleaver: Did Dad hit ya?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: No.
Wally Cleaver: Did he yell at ya?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: No.
Wally Cleaver: Then why ya cryin'?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Sometimes things get so messed up, crying is the only thing you can do.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Wally Cleaver: Dry up, Beaver.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Wally Cleaver: Gee Dad, how come you know so much about buying cars?
Ward Cleaver: Well, Wally, as unbelievable as it may seem they did have cars in my younger days.
Wally Cleaver: Used cars?

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Wally Cleaver: Hi Dad. I didn't do anything.
Ward Cleaver: Why do you say that?
Wally Cleaver: Well, I don't know, but, uh, you have that look on your face like somebody did something.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Wally Cleaver: Just watch what your sayin' Beaver or I'm liable to clop you one.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Wally Cleaver: Where'd you hear all that jazz?

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Mr. Foster: [Mr. Foster is reading out the class grades] Miss Rogers, A, Mr. Haskell, B+, Mr. Cleaver, A-, Mr. Rutherford, F.
Clarence 'Lumpy' Rutherford: An ?F?, Mr. Foster?
Mr. Foster: Yes, Mr. Rutherford. It's the lowest grade they allow me to give.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: [to Lumpy] Lumpy Dumpy Rat Rat.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: [Ward wants to see Beaver in the den] Is Dad mad?
Wally Cleaver: Yeah, but Mom's in there.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Boy, I sure wish there was somebody in the family for me to yell at.
Wally Cleaver: That's your tough luck.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Cross my heart and hope to spit.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Do you really like me, Wally?
Wally Cleaver: I guess so.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Do you like me a whole lot?
Wally Cleaver: Look, don't get sloppy on me. I might just slug you one.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: How come Eddie's such a creepy guy?
Wally Cleaver: He works at it.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: I could use my own money, the twenty-five dollars I got in the bank.
Wally Cleaver: I thought you were saving that to go to college.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Larry says he never heard of a college you could go to for twenty-five dollars.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: I wouldn't wanna do anything to hurt God. He's got enough trouble with the Russians and all.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: If I had my choice between a three pound bass and a girl, I'd take the three pound bass.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Violet Rutherford drinks gutter water.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: We can't just say we're going to be friends. We gotta have an agreement or something.
Larry Mondello: Okay.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: I, Beaver Cleaver, swear to die for Larry Mondello and always stick up for him and never snitch on him and be his friend forever.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver