Leave it to Beaver Quotes


Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: You know something, Wally? I'd rather do nothin' with you than somethin' with anybody else.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: You wanna' mess around later?
Larry Mondello: I can't, I'm grounded.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: How come?
Larry Mondello: My father caught me eating pie in bed.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Eddie Haskell: [Beaver thinks he isn't going to graduate from 8th grade] Hey, that's tough, kid. Let me think. Maybe I can help you figure a way out of this.
Wally Cleaver: Listen, Beav. At this point, I don't think you want to be taking advice from Eddie.
Eddie Haskell: Are you kidding? I've been in an out of every kind of trouble there is in school.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Eddie Haskell: Gee, your kitchen always looks so clean.
June Cleaver: Why, thank you, Eddie.
Eddie Haskell: My mother says it looks as though you never do any work in here.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Eddie Haskell: Hey, guys, like my new vest? I think it brings out the Peter Lawford in me.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Eddie Haskell: Look Sam, if you can make the other guy feel like a goon first, then you don't feel like so much of a goon.
Wally Cleaver: I don't get that.
Eddie Haskell: Of course you don't. That's because you never went to kindergarten with a home permanent.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Eddie Haskell: Not me! Your father doesn't like me.
Wally Cleaver: Why would you say that?
Eddie Haskell: On account of the way he looks at me when he opens the door. Sometimes I think he'd be happier to see Kruschev standing there.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Eddie Haskell: Wally, if your dumb brother tags along, I'm gonna - oh, good afternoon, Mrs. Cleaver. I was just telling Wallace how pleasant it would be for Theodore to accompany us to the movies.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Cornelia Rayburn: [reading the poem Ward wrote for the Beaver to recite at school] The Bear: I would like to be a bear, gay and happy free from care / That's the life like no other, climbing trees with my mother / Though they call me beast of rage, I've never put things in a cage / Or set a trap since time's begun, or shot a human with a gun.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Larry Mondello: Beaver punched me in the stomach, right where I almost had my operation.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver

Larry Mondello: That was a great jungle movie, huh Beav?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Yeah, but there was too much kissin' and not enough apes.

TV Show: Leave It to Beaver