King of the Hill Quotes
[Reading letter to Luanne.]
Hank: Hi, my name is Ladybird. I like long walks, my arthritis medication, and two cups of kibble a day. I'll try to outsmart you and get three cups, but I know you're too clever for that, Ms. Platter. (Giggles)
Luanne: I don't know, Uncle Hank. She did write this letter, and everything.
Hank: Trip's off!
Hank: Hi, my name is Ladybird. I like long walks, my arthritis medication, and two cups of kibble a day. I'll try to outsmart you and get three cups, but I know you're too clever for that, Ms. Platter. (Giggles)
Luanne: I don't know, Uncle Hank. She did write this letter, and everything.
Hank: Trip's off!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank's Half Mother: This arrangement offered me many opportunities for difficulty.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: You shut your got-dang mouth or I'll shove that Ditch Witch down your throat and dig a tunnel straight through to sunshine!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Octavio: Gribble, I don't care if he stays or goes. Where's the money you owe me, esse?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Big Jim: Take the first shot, Cochise. I love two things: building doll house furniture and kicking ass. And I don't see any no houses 'round here. You see any doll houses, Hank?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Big Jim: No you don't, that's right! What are you looking at, sport? Don't you eyeball me! Don't you eyeball a JUNKYARD DOG! ARF! ARF! ARF! NOW YOU GOT THE DOG BARKING! YOU GOT IT! YOU GOT IT! ARF! ARF!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bill Dauterive: You cut Dale's finger off for building a tunnel. I once made a vest out of your wife's underpants. I can't imagine what you'd do to me.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Police Office (thinking it's a domestic abuse situation): It always happens to the younger, prettier ones.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: (Yelling at Hank) If it were up to you, you would have filled my buddy tunnel with cement, so no one else could use it! (Note the sexual innuendo/double entendre, based on context of scene).
TV Show: King of the Hill
Didi Hill: Hank has always been angry. When we were in kindergarten, and the other children would use the finger paints, he would pinch them.
Hank Hill: You are a BALD FACED LIAR!
Hank Hill: You are a BALD FACED LIAR!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill(To Dale): It's gonna take a lot of hard work to repair this floor, and since this is all your fault, Mister, I'm not gonna let you help me.
Bobby Hill: Can I help?
Hank Hill: Yes, Bobby.
Bobby Hill: Can I help?
Hank Hill: Yes, Bobby.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: Objection, Conjecture, Objecture!
Hank Hill: That's not even a word!
Hank Hill: That's not even a word!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: I hear Mega Lo Mart is taking bids for a rat problem. Boy, that'd be a sweet gig. I could finally start paying for Nancy's health insurance instead of just telling Nancy I'm paying for it.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: You still think it's rats. Well, don't beat yourself up, Hank, I did too until the evidence pointed to baboon.
Hank Hill: Baboon? Dale, don't tell Glidewell there's a baboon. It's not a baboon.
Dale Gribble: I know that. I won't bore you with the details, but bottom line: it's Chuck Mangione!
Hank Hill: Baboon? Dale, don't tell Glidewell there's a baboon. It's not a baboon.
Dale Gribble: I know that. I won't bore you with the details, but bottom line: it's Chuck Mangione!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Dale's losing it at Mega Lo Mart, Nancy. We need some traps for the rat, and a tranquilizer gun for... uh... also for the rat.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: Well, that's the calculated risk you take when you release a mongoose.
TV Show: King of the Hill
(Dale and Chuck Mangione argue who's crazier)
Chuck Mangione: You let a mongoose out in the store.
Dale Gribble: You're living in a T.P. fort.
Chuck Mangione: Let's agree to disagree.
Chuck Mangione: You let a mongoose out in the store.
Dale Gribble: You're living in a T.P. fort.
Chuck Mangione: Let's agree to disagree.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Boomhauer (In disbelief): Chuck Mangione. He's probably out there in Hollywood, you know, sticking his horn to dang ole Minnie Driver.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Luanne Platter: I closed my eyes and I was thinking of those stupid guys in my math class... oh, and the guy in the parking lot... and that volunteer pool cleaner who always comes by when I'm swimming.
Angela: Tell me about it. I once fell for a free breast examination in a bar.
Angela: Tell me about it. I once fell for a free breast examination in a bar.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Luanne Platter: Yeah, there's nothing worse than people not respecting you. Every time I get hooted at I have to take an hour of Tae Bo.
Hank Hill: Tae Bo, is that that new oriental way of moving your couch around?
Hank Hill: Tae Bo, is that that new oriental way of moving your couch around?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: (after Luanne explains Tae-Bo): Oh, it's dancing.
Bobby Hill: Hmm. That sounds --
Hank Hill: No.
Bobby Hill: Hmm. That sounds --
Hank Hill: No.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Luanne Platter: Guess who I ran into at the gym... Buck Strickland! He watched me do Tae Bo and he thinks I'd be a great boxer!
Hank Hill: Look, Luanne, I fought at the Y and trust me, you are no boxer.
Luanne Platter: Yea-huh. Friday at midnight in the bathroom at Sugarfoots, and I am going to stand up and fight and be respected just like you said.
Hank Hill: Luanne, the kind of women that box don't have 50 stuffed animals on their bed. Why don't you spend Friday night watching one of those movies you like, where the people fall in love and then one of them dies?
Hank Hill: Look, Luanne, I fought at the Y and trust me, you are no boxer.
Luanne Platter: Yea-huh. Friday at midnight in the bathroom at Sugarfoots, and I am going to stand up and fight and be respected just like you said.
Hank Hill: Luanne, the kind of women that box don't have 50 stuffed animals on their bed. Why don't you spend Friday night watching one of those movies you like, where the people fall in love and then one of them dies?
TV Show: King of the Hill