Jersey Shore Quotes
Vinny: [to Mike] How do I taste, bro? How does my dick taste, bro? Congratulations on my sloppy seconds.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Snooki: Can I have a roll please?
Mike "The Situation": Don't worry, you got a couple.
Mike "The Situation": Don't worry, you got a couple.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Mike "The Situation": I like my clothes like my women...options.
Pauly D: You like your girls like your underwear...dirty.
Pauly D: You like your girls like your underwear...dirty.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Snooki: You look at me you think I'm like a stuck-up bitch, but yet, like, veterinarian, like that's my soul, like I fuckin' like, save animals, like that's what I do.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Vinny: [about Pauly D's stalker] Yo, Pauly D has a little situation on his hands...she's definitely a stage 5 clinger.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Vinny: Snooki's outfit is crazy, she looks like a birthday cake, she's all decorated, dressed up, with the pink, boobs all out up in her face. I guess she wants to go out with a big bang, literally.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Mike "The Situation": It's obvious that Sammi has a crush on me. It goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Ronnie: I regret that I got caught. I don't regret that I hit the kid, because he had it coming.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Mike "The Situation": [to Snooki] If a guy doesn't like you, it's called fuck you, and there's so many people out there in the world that's gonna like you for you.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
J-Woww: Tall, completely jacked, steroids, like, multiple growth hormones...that's the type I'm attracted to.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Vinny: My uncles want me to just come here and bang everything, but I kinda want better quality girls.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Snooki: I don't go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning... because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Emilio Antonio: How many meatballs do you want?
Snooki: I want two...in my face.
Snooki: I want two...in my face.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Pauly D: [about the cold rain in Rhode Island] Can't stand this weather. Ya can't get tanned in this weather, ya can't creep in this weather, you can't do anything… girls don't come out in this weather, they stay in the house.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Mike "The Situation": Ronnie's at the club, hooking up with Grenades - that is a bigger, ugly chick - and also Landmines - which is a thin, ugly chick - and um, lovin' life.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Mike "The Situation": We have an abundance of wife beaters...and we wear them before we go out, before it's T-shirt time. Right before we go out, we take off the tank and then we put on our fresh shirt.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Mike "The Situation": Can I place an order?
Delivery guy: What's the name?
Mike "The Situation": Situation.
Delivery guy: Name?
Mike "The Situation": Yeah. Situation. S-i-t-u-a-t-i-o-n.
Delivery guy: Whatever man, what's your order?
Delivery guy: What's the name?
Mike "The Situation": Situation.
Delivery guy: Name?
Mike "The Situation": Yeah. Situation. S-i-t-u-a-t-i-o-n.
Delivery guy: Whatever man, what's your order?
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Snooki: [after knocking the marinating chicken onto the floor] My first thought was, I don't wanna clean this up. My second thought was, I just fucked up dinner. My third thought was, what the fuck am I gonna eat?
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Pauly D: My boss seems to think that my hair is gonna fall off and go into the ice cream. This hair ain't movin' my dude. 150 mph on the highway on a street bike...it doesn't move! What makes you think it's gonna move in a gelato shop?
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Angelina: It's not like anybody's gonna be my friend after this anyway.
Pauly D: That's true.
Pauly D: That's true.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Snooki: It hurts my vagina.
Mike "The Situation": OK, come down.
Snooki: No no, I like it!
Mike "The Situation": OK, come down.
Snooki: No no, I like it!
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Snooki: [behind the counter] I can't see any ice creams, I can't see any customers, 'cause I'm a fuckin' Smurf.
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Vinny: You look hot. You just took my breath away.
Snooki: You tryin' to smush right now?
Snooki: You tryin' to smush right now?
TV Show: Jersey Shore
Vinny: Jenni's tits definitely defy gravity. I think Albert Einstein should come back and rewrite his laws of physics and work it around Jenni's tits.
TV Show: Jersey Shore