How I Met Your Mother Quotes
Kara: [talking about Lily] You should sue her.
Brad: Oh, yeah? On what grounds, Kara?
Kara: On the grounds of... shut up! [She drinks from a beer bong and then spits alcohol everywhere.]
Future Ted: That's our Attorney General.
Brad: Oh, yeah? On what grounds, Kara?
Kara: On the grounds of... shut up! [She drinks from a beer bong and then spits alcohol everywhere.]
Future Ted: That's our Attorney General.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Ted: Okay, we HAVE to get Lily out of that apartment. Her roommate is a raccoon.
Robin: I'd offer her my place, but I have dogs and she's allergic.
Ted: Dogs? I live with her ex-boyfriend. I think she's more allergic to that.
Robin: What about your place, Barney? I know it's shrouded in mystery, but it's gotta have a couch.
Barney: The Fortress of Barnitude?? No way.
Robin: Oh come on. She's desperate.
Barney: Mmm, normally a prerequisite for the women I bring home, but pass.
Robin: I'd offer her my place, but I have dogs and she's allergic.
Ted: Dogs? I live with her ex-boyfriend. I think she's more allergic to that.
Robin: What about your place, Barney? I know it's shrouded in mystery, but it's gotta have a couch.
Barney: The Fortress of Barnitude?? No way.
Robin: Oh come on. She's desperate.
Barney: Mmm, normally a prerequisite for the women I bring home, but pass.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Lily: Why would I want to change anything? This place is great, except you don't have a TV.
Barney: [Points to wall] See that wall? [Turns on TV] 300 inch flatscreen! They only sell them in Japan but I know a guy. They ship it over in a tugboat like freakin' King Kong!
Lily: It hurts my eyes...
Barney: Yeah, that doesn't go away.
Barney: [Points to wall] See that wall? [Turns on TV] 300 inch flatscreen! They only sell them in Japan but I know a guy. They ship it over in a tugboat like freakin' King Kong!
Lily: It hurts my eyes...
Barney: Yeah, that doesn't go away.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Lily: [about Ted's boss, who has designed a building resembling a penis] I can't believe how Mr Druthers treats people, and that building? Talk about overcompensating.
Ted: He's not usually this bad. It's just that his partners have said this project is make or break for us, so lately, he's been testy. [Lily and Robin smirk] You know what I mean, crotchety. [Lily and Robin begin to laugh] I'm just saying, it's been hard on him. [Lily and Robin laugh harder] All right, stop.
Robin: Did you show Lily your design?
Ted: No.
Lily: What design?
Ted: It's nothing.
Robin: It's fantastic. Just for fun, Ted's been working on his own design, and it doesn't look at all like male genitalia...at least, not healthy male genitalia.
Lily: You should pitch your building to Druthers.
Ted: Are you kidding? He's Hammond Druthers! He's a legend — I'm just part of his team. This building is huge for the firm, so it's important that we don't blow it. [Lily and Robin collapse laughing] All right, enough!
Ted: He's not usually this bad. It's just that his partners have said this project is make or break for us, so lately, he's been testy. [Lily and Robin smirk] You know what I mean, crotchety. [Lily and Robin begin to laugh] I'm just saying, it's been hard on him. [Lily and Robin laugh harder] All right, stop.
Robin: Did you show Lily your design?
Ted: No.
Lily: What design?
Ted: It's nothing.
Robin: It's fantastic. Just for fun, Ted's been working on his own design, and it doesn't look at all like male genitalia...at least, not healthy male genitalia.
Lily: You should pitch your building to Druthers.
Ted: Are you kidding? He's Hammond Druthers! He's a legend — I'm just part of his team. This building is huge for the firm, so it's important that we don't blow it. [Lily and Robin collapse laughing] All right, enough!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Barney's in the hospital after trying to sexually satisfy Marshall's law professor]
Professor Lewis: Mr Eriksen, hello. I graded your paper tonight. I was...[looks at Barney] pleasantly surprised.
Barney: [smugly] Yeah she was.
Lewis: [to Marshall, before leaving] B-plus.
Barney: B-plus?!? Marshall, after I've gone though my eight weeks of physical therapy, I'm going to get you that A!
Marshall: Let her go. She belongs out there...in the wild. You should be proud. You fought the cougar and lived.
Professor Lewis: Mr Eriksen, hello. I graded your paper tonight. I was...[looks at Barney] pleasantly surprised.
Barney: [smugly] Yeah she was.
Lewis: [to Marshall, before leaving] B-plus.
Barney: B-plus?!? Marshall, after I've gone though my eight weeks of physical therapy, I'm going to get you that A!
Marshall: Let her go. She belongs out there...in the wild. You should be proud. You fought the cougar and lived.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Ted: So I guess that decides it.
Marshall: Yep.
Barney: Hanging out at a coffee place: not nearly as much fun as hanging out at a bar.
Ted: Hey, what's that? [Looks at Marshall's cup]
Marshall: What?
Ted: That cute coffee girl wrote a heart by your name! [in a sing-song voice] Somebody has a crush on you!
Barney: [in a sing-song voice as well] Somebody thinks you're me!
Marshall: Well, what if the heart doesn't mean anything? What if she writes them on all the cups?
Ted: Mine says "Ted", no heart
Barney: Mine says... "Swarley".... How'd they get "Swarley" from "Barney"? It's not even a name. Who would ever be called "Swarley"?....[Marshall and Ted smile] Oh, please don't start calling me "Swarley"... This would never happen at a bar!
[Barney leaves the coffee shop]
Ted: Man! What's up with Swarley?
Marshall: I know. You almost never see old Swarlz get that upset.
Ted: Psssh.
Marshall: Yep.
Barney: Hanging out at a coffee place: not nearly as much fun as hanging out at a bar.
Ted: Hey, what's that? [Looks at Marshall's cup]
Marshall: What?
Ted: That cute coffee girl wrote a heart by your name! [in a sing-song voice] Somebody has a crush on you!
Barney: [in a sing-song voice as well] Somebody thinks you're me!
Marshall: Well, what if the heart doesn't mean anything? What if she writes them on all the cups?
Ted: Mine says "Ted", no heart
Barney: Mine says... "Swarley".... How'd they get "Swarley" from "Barney"? It's not even a name. Who would ever be called "Swarley"?....[Marshall and Ted smile] Oh, please don't start calling me "Swarley"... This would never happen at a bar!
[Barney leaves the coffee shop]
Ted: Man! What's up with Swarley?
Marshall: I know. You almost never see old Swarlz get that upset.
Ted: Psssh.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Barney enters MacLaren's, then suddenly]
Bar Crowd: SWARLEY!!! [Carl the bartender plays Where Everybody Knows Your Name]
Bar Crowd: SWARLEY!!! [Carl the bartender plays Where Everybody Knows Your Name]
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Marshall: Hi, we need a marriage license but we need to skip the waiting period because we're in love.
Clerk: Aaww..I'm gonna waive this waiting period right now!
Lily: Really!?
Clerk: Is what I would say if I could waive the waiting period but unfortunately only a judge can do that.
Lily: Oh, so can we see a judge?
Clerk: Absolutely!
Lily: Really?
Clerk: Is what I would say if there was any chance of you seeing a judge today, which there isn't.
Marshall: [clenched teeth] Why are you doing this to us?
Clerk: Because you're on CANDID CAMERA!
Robin: Really?
Clerk: Is what I would say--
Marshall: You know what? We get it.
Clerk: Aaww..I'm gonna waive this waiting period right now!
Lily: Really!?
Clerk: Is what I would say if I could waive the waiting period but unfortunately only a judge can do that.
Lily: Oh, so can we see a judge?
Clerk: Absolutely!
Lily: Really?
Clerk: Is what I would say if there was any chance of you seeing a judge today, which there isn't.
Marshall: [clenched teeth] Why are you doing this to us?
Clerk: Because you're on CANDID CAMERA!
Robin: Really?
Clerk: Is what I would say--
Marshall: You know what? We get it.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Barney: If there was any shame in a dude getting a pedicure I don't think there would've been a feature about it in Details magazine.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Ted: Wha...I don't get it! Why won't Robin tell me why she hates malls?
Barney: Ted, you should be happy Robin has a secret. The more you learn about a person, the better chance you have of hitting the fatal "Ohhh..." moment.
Marshall: The "Ohhh..." moment?
Barney: Yeah. That moment when you find out that one detail about a person that is going to be a deal-breaker.
[Flashback to Barney with different girls]
Girl #1: It's a promise ring. I made a pact with God to stay a virgin till I'm married.
Barney: Ohhhh.....
Girl #2: I don't have an eating disorder, it's just when I put food in my mouth, I chew it and then I spit it out!
Barney: Ohhhh.....
Girl #3: I just turned 30.
Barney: Ohhhhhh.....
[back to present]
Barney: So trust me, you want to postpone knowing anything about each other for as long as possible
Ted: Hmm...I disagree. If there's some potential "Ohhh...." moment, I wanna know about it right away. I mean, what's the alternative?
[flash to Robin and Ted at the altar]
Priest: I now pronounce you man and wife.
Ted: I love you.
Robin: I used to be a dude.
Ted: Ohhhhhh.....
Barney: Ted, you should be happy Robin has a secret. The more you learn about a person, the better chance you have of hitting the fatal "Ohhh..." moment.
Marshall: The "Ohhh..." moment?
Barney: Yeah. That moment when you find out that one detail about a person that is going to be a deal-breaker.
[Flashback to Barney with different girls]
Girl #1: It's a promise ring. I made a pact with God to stay a virgin till I'm married.
Barney: Ohhhh.....
Girl #2: I don't have an eating disorder, it's just when I put food in my mouth, I chew it and then I spit it out!
Barney: Ohhhh.....
Girl #3: I just turned 30.
Barney: Ohhhhhh.....
[back to present]
Barney: So trust me, you want to postpone knowing anything about each other for as long as possible
Ted: Hmm...I disagree. If there's some potential "Ohhh...." moment, I wanna know about it right away. I mean, what's the alternative?
[flash to Robin and Ted at the altar]
Priest: I now pronounce you man and wife.
Ted: I love you.
Robin: I used to be a dude.
Ted: Ohhhhhh.....
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[The gang watches 'Let's Go to the Mall']
Lily: This is the most amazing thing I have ever seen!!
Marshall: That's YOU?
Robin: Yes. I had one minor hit. I had to go all over Canada and sing this song in malls. For a whole year I lived off of Orange Juliuses and Wetzel's Pretzels.
Lily: This is the most amazing thing I have ever seen!!
Marshall: That's YOU?
Robin: Yes. I had one minor hit. I had to go all over Canada and sing this song in malls. For a whole year I lived off of Orange Juliuses and Wetzel's Pretzels.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Barney: [to James] Oh man, I am so excited that you're here! It has been forever since I have been around anyone even remotely fun! [to Ted, Marshall, Lily, and Robin] Huh... yes offense.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Marshall: Oh, poor me. I get to order yummy pink drinks with chunks of real fruit that guys secretly like but can't order because they'll be made fun of.
Ted: Dude.
Marshall: They're delicious!
Ted: Dude.
Marshall: They're delicious!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[After Ted tells Barney what he called Lily]
Barney: Ted Vivian Mosby!
Ted: That's not my middle name...
Barney: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Ted: Like you've never said that word?
Barney: I don't kiss your mother with my mouth, yet...
[Barney sneezes]
Ted: Are you sick?
Barney: Is it sick to find maturity and experience sexy?
Ted: No, I meant do you have a cold?
Barney: I'm fine. [blows his nose; Ted and Robin look at him] I'm fine. My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out. If you'll excuse me, holiday is the time when people are lonely and desperate. It's the most wonderful time of the year.
Barney: Ted Vivian Mosby!
Ted: That's not my middle name...
Barney: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Ted: Like you've never said that word?
Barney: I don't kiss your mother with my mouth, yet...
[Barney sneezes]
Ted: Are you sick?
Barney: Is it sick to find maturity and experience sexy?
Ted: No, I meant do you have a cold?
Barney: I'm fine. [blows his nose; Ted and Robin look at him] I'm fine. My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out. If you'll excuse me, holiday is the time when people are lonely and desperate. It's the most wonderful time of the year.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[At Lily's apartment, Ted and Lily try to patch up over the dirty word, but she knows Ted's fake apologies]
Lily: You're clearly still mad at me.
Ted: I'm not mad at you.
Lily: Yes you are.
Ted: [seething] I'm not mad at you Lily, now can we please just...
Lily: I've apologized to Marshall and he's forgiven me, and we've moved past it. Why can't you?
Ted: Because you've never apologized to me. Marshall's not the only one you walked out on. You leave for three months, you don't even call. Come on, Lily we're supposed to be friends!
Lily: Yeah, some friend, you called me a Grinch!
Lily: You're clearly still mad at me.
Ted: I'm not mad at you.
Lily: Yes you are.
Ted: [seething] I'm not mad at you Lily, now can we please just...
Lily: I've apologized to Marshall and he's forgiven me, and we've moved past it. Why can't you?
Ted: Because you've never apologized to me. Marshall's not the only one you walked out on. You leave for three months, you don't even call. Come on, Lily we're supposed to be friends!
Lily: Yeah, some friend, you called me a Grinch!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Robin: [Downs drink] I can't believe my baby sister is planning to lose her virginity to a douche with a faux-hawk. This can't happen, you guys have to help me talk her out of it.
Marshall: A speech to talk a girl out of sex...
Ted: ...yeah I don't have any of those.
Barney: Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.
Robin: Please? I'm her older sister; I'm supposed to teach her how to make good and responsible decisions.
Lily: It's 2 o'clock and you've already had three Scotch and Sodas.
Robin: That's why I need your help!
Marshall: A speech to talk a girl out of sex...
Ted: ...yeah I don't have any of those.
Barney: Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.
Robin: Please? I'm her older sister; I'm supposed to teach her how to make good and responsible decisions.
Lily: It's 2 o'clock and you've already had three Scotch and Sodas.
Robin: That's why I need your help!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Marshall and Lily castigate Barney for describing his first time to have sex with a girl, which seems familiar to Lily]
Lily: That's Dirty Dancing!
Ted: It was on last night.
Marshall: No, it was two nights ago. "She's Like the Wind" has been stuck in my brain for about 40 hours. I just got it out; now it's back in. Damn you, Swayze!
Lily: That's Dirty Dancing!
Ted: It was on last night.
Marshall: No, it was two nights ago. "She's Like the Wind" has been stuck in my brain for about 40 hours. I just got it out; now it's back in. Damn you, Swayze!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Barney: [picks up dart] Hey, guys! Guess what I got? A new dart!
Robin: Oh, wow, a new dart!
Ted: Hey, that new dart is great!
Robin: I did not know you were such a fan of "newdart", Barney!
Barney: Oh yes, Robin, I just love "newdart"...”nude art". "Nude art"!
[Barney, Robin, and Ted laugh.]
Marshall: Okay, all right, so what, you guys found the painting, huh?!?
Lily: I knew this day would come.
Marshall: How did you know that?
Lily: Because I didn't hide it very well.
Robin: Oh, wow, a new dart!
Ted: Hey, that new dart is great!
Robin: I did not know you were such a fan of "newdart", Barney!
Barney: Oh yes, Robin, I just love "newdart"...”nude art". "Nude art"!
[Barney, Robin, and Ted laugh.]
Marshall: Okay, all right, so what, you guys found the painting, huh?!?
Lily: I knew this day would come.
Marshall: How did you know that?
Lily: Because I didn't hide it very well.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Carl: Hey Marshall, whataya have?
Marshall: What I’ll have, oh I don’t know maybe a beer and that nude painting of me hanging behind the bar!
Carl: Oh, I’m sorry. That painting is property of the bar.
Marshall: I know that Barney gave you that painting!
Carl: I don’t know what you’re talking about...
Marshall: Whatever he is paying you I'll pay you double!
Carl: I doubt it.
Marshall: Whatever he is paying you I’ll pay you that plus ten bucks!
Carl: I doubt it.
Marshall: Alright, you know what, Carl? You just lost yourself a regular customer!
Carl: I doubt it.
Marshall: What I’ll have, oh I don’t know maybe a beer and that nude painting of me hanging behind the bar!
Carl: Oh, I’m sorry. That painting is property of the bar.
Marshall: I know that Barney gave you that painting!
Carl: I don’t know what you’re talking about...
Marshall: Whatever he is paying you I'll pay you double!
Carl: I doubt it.
Marshall: Whatever he is paying you I’ll pay you that plus ten bucks!
Carl: I doubt it.
Marshall: Alright, you know what, Carl? You just lost yourself a regular customer!
Carl: I doubt it.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Ted: So let me get this straight. A funeral is the one time you don't suit up?
Barney: Have I taught you nothing, Ted?
Ted: Virtually.
Barney: Suits are full of joy. They're the sartorial equivalent of a baby's smile.
Lily: Sartorial?
Barney: Of, or pertaining to, tailors or their trade. Suits are for the living. That's why, when it's my time to R.I.P. I'm going out of this world the same way I came into it. BUCK NAKED. Yeah. It's gonna be awesome. Open bar for the guys, open casket for the ladies. [In a high-pitched voice] What up? [Raises his hand in anticipation for a high-five]
[Everybody walks past Barney except Marshall, who giggles and gives him a high-five]
Barney: Have I taught you nothing, Ted?
Ted: Virtually.
Barney: Suits are full of joy. They're the sartorial equivalent of a baby's smile.
Lily: Sartorial?
Barney: Of, or pertaining to, tailors or their trade. Suits are for the living. That's why, when it's my time to R.I.P. I'm going out of this world the same way I came into it. BUCK NAKED. Yeah. It's gonna be awesome. Open bar for the guys, open casket for the ladies. [In a high-pitched voice] What up? [Raises his hand in anticipation for a high-five]
[Everybody walks past Barney except Marshall, who giggles and gives him a high-five]
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Ted: [tries to convince the group of watching the recorded Super Bowl together a day after because of the wake for Mark] Who's in?
Lily: I'm in!
Robin: I'm in.
Marshall: I'm in!
Barney: What the hell. I'm in! HIGH-FIVE!!! [raises his hand]
Ted: Dude... we are at a wake!
Barney: [looks around] Sorry.... [puts his hand over the table and speaks in a low and grave voice] solemn low-five!
Lily: I'm in!
Robin: I'm in.
Marshall: I'm in!
Barney: What the hell. I'm in! HIGH-FIVE!!! [raises his hand]
Ted: Dude... we are at a wake!
Barney: [looks around] Sorry.... [puts his hand over the table and speaks in a low and grave voice] solemn low-five!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Marshall: [giving himself a pep talk in the mirror before his run] This is going to be your best run yet. You are going to accomplish all of your goals. [monotone] You are a robot sent from the future to win the Marathon. You are Marshall…You are Marshall….You are Marshall!…Yeaaaahhh!!!.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Barney: [talking with Lily about waiting in line for the wedding-dress sale] I can’t go, I’ve got this thing…
Lily: What thing?
Barney: ...a penis.
Lily: What thing?
Barney: ...a penis.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Robin sees Ted's ex-girlfriends in the things he owns on the living room]
Jeannie Radford, Phone Booth Girl: I'm Ted's college girlfriend. He made me 12 mix tapes. How many has he made you?
Allison Moses, Lamp Girl: He calls you a sweetie pie? He called me a sweetie pie.
Lauren Stein, Throw Pillow Girl: I'm stupid, but my rack is bigger than yours!
Jeannie Radford, Phone Booth Girl: I'm Ted's college girlfriend. He made me 12 mix tapes. How many has he made you?
Allison Moses, Lamp Girl: He calls you a sweetie pie? He called me a sweetie pie.
Lauren Stein, Throw Pillow Girl: I'm stupid, but my rack is bigger than yours!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Barney: [to Lily during his play] Moist. Moist. Moist...
Future Ted: This was the first 40 minutes of Barney's show.
Future Ted: This was the first 40 minutes of Barney's show.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Ted and Marshall are stuck in the snow after Marshall admits he wants to marry Lily someday.]
Ted: [to Marshall, who's cuddling with him to remain warm] Marshall, are you still thinking about Lily?
Marshall: Yeah.
Ted: Please stop!
Ted: [to Marshall, who's cuddling with him to remain warm] Marshall, are you still thinking about Lily?
Marshall: Yeah.
Ted: Please stop!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Lily is panicking because the Fiero's brakes are too strong, the inertia splattered their takeout food all over the interior.]
Robin: Shut up! Now listen to me. The clock is ticking. Okay, first thing: we scoop up all these little pieces of tofu and cabbage. Next, what we need to take care of are the messy parts; the pools that have collected. We gotta soak that soup up. Last...is the smell. We gotta cover up that Tam Kuk Gai. You mentioned cigars?
Lily: There's two in the glove compartment, but he's been saving...
Robin: Hand me those chopsticks.
[5 minutes later, Robin and Lily are smoking cigars]
Robin: Mmm, hey, how 'bout some tunes? [500 Miles by The Proclaimers starts playing] Ohh, great song!
[Lily shudders]
Lily: These cigars aren't helping at all.
Robin: [grinning] Yeah, this was a terrible idea.
Lily: Uggh, now it just smells like a...homeless guy threw up in here.
[Robin stares at her in amazement; Lily looks back at her. They have their alibi.]
[flash to present]
Marshall: The broken windows?
Lily: We had to make it look realistic!
Marshall: Well why did you break two of them?
Robin: Uhhh...it looked like fun when she did it so I wanted to try.
Marshall: I can't believe this whole time it was you guys; I've been blaming Really Tan Dancing Leotard guy.
Robin: Shut up! Now listen to me. The clock is ticking. Okay, first thing: we scoop up all these little pieces of tofu and cabbage. Next, what we need to take care of are the messy parts; the pools that have collected. We gotta soak that soup up. Last...is the smell. We gotta cover up that Tam Kuk Gai. You mentioned cigars?
Lily: There's two in the glove compartment, but he's been saving...
Robin: Hand me those chopsticks.
[5 minutes later, Robin and Lily are smoking cigars]
Robin: Mmm, hey, how 'bout some tunes? [500 Miles by The Proclaimers starts playing] Ohh, great song!
[Lily shudders]
Lily: These cigars aren't helping at all.
Robin: [grinning] Yeah, this was a terrible idea.
Lily: Uggh, now it just smells like a...homeless guy threw up in here.
[Robin stares at her in amazement; Lily looks back at her. They have their alibi.]
[flash to present]
Marshall: The broken windows?
Lily: We had to make it look realistic!
Marshall: Well why did you break two of them?
Robin: Uhhh...it looked like fun when she did it so I wanted to try.
Marshall: I can't believe this whole time it was you guys; I've been blaming Really Tan Dancing Leotard guy.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Barney's talking on phone to Ted in a deep voice]
Ted: Barney...
Barney: This isn't Barney. ...but I hear that guy's awesome. All right. Listen very carefully. You will get your stuff back if you are able to complete a series of challenges. Number one, put on the suit. Number two, meet me at MacLaren's in an hour.
Ted: How will I know who to look for since we've never met?
[Awkward pause]
Barney: ...I look like Barney.
Ted: Barney...
Barney: This isn't Barney. ...but I hear that guy's awesome. All right. Listen very carefully. You will get your stuff back if you are able to complete a series of challenges. Number one, put on the suit. Number two, meet me at MacLaren's in an hour.
Ted: How will I know who to look for since we've never met?
[Awkward pause]
Barney: ...I look like Barney.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: If Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. [they all laugh] Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squealer." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boni." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: If Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. [they all laugh] Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squealer." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boni." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Barney: Alright, fine, the stripper at Stewart’s Bachelor Party was a 15.
Ted: [Appalled] She was 15?
Barney: A 15. Like in blackjack.
Ted: As in, not sure whether you’d hit it?
Barney: Exactly!
Ted: Nice.
Ted: [Appalled] She was 15?
Barney: A 15. Like in blackjack.
Ted: As in, not sure whether you’d hit it?
Barney: Exactly!
Ted: Nice.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother