Homicide - Life on the Street Quotes
Kellerman: [before meeting with Gee] Any advice?
Lewis: Yeah, he tends to spit when he yells. Just step back.
Lewis: Yeah, he tends to spit when he yells. Just step back.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: Well, well, well, Kellerman. Up until now, you've had a who-dun-it here, a dunker there, but now, now it looks like you're finally gonna pop the big-time detective cherry.
Pembleton: My advice to you is that you work this case alone so that if you put this case down, it doesn't look like we helped bail you out or something.
Pembleton: My advice to you is that you work this case alone so that if you put this case down, it doesn't look like we helped bail you out or something.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Gee: It's pretty, isn't it? The way the board just stands there. A silent sentry to the dead and gone. I love the way the red and black meld together in harmony. A haiku of color and vengeance. Uh-oh. Look here. You're upsetting the balance. You see, Mike, you need just a little red. This is too much. I'd do something about that. Maybe some more black. Keep me smiling Kellerman.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: In this corner, representing the pride of the Baltimore Police Department - Michael "I can take a whuppin" Kellerman!!
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: What if it's a trick on a grand scale, like an epic trick? Huh?
Russert: That's really paranoid Munch.
Munch: Thank you.
Russert: That's really paranoid Munch.
Munch: Thank you.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Russert: Frank, how are the flowers coming?
Pembleton: What?
Russert: Flowers, flowers.
Pembleton: The lilies have landed.
Pembleton: What?
Russert: Flowers, flowers.
Pembleton: The lilies have landed.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Grandma: Isn't it a lovely wedding?
Russert: Yes, it is. I'm Megan Russert and this is John Munch.
Grandma: Munch? Oh, you're the one who took too many drugs and damaged his brain. I'm so sorry.
Russert: Yes, it is. I'm Megan Russert and this is John Munch.
Grandma: Munch? Oh, you're the one who took too many drugs and damaged his brain. I'm so sorry.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: Okay, here's the deal; I'm gonna take Mary home right now, and then I'm gonna find Lewis. And when I find him, I'm gonna kill him. I'm a very clever detective, and I will kill him in such a way, I will not be caught; he will simply disappear, and like all sphincters before him...he will not be missed.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: How could anybody be too old for 101 Dalmatians? It's universal; It's like Homer: a great journey of the heart disguised as an adventure story.
Brodie: With dogs.
Brodie: With dogs.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: Can I come?
Pembleton: Come where?
Bayliss: See the baby.
Pembleton: You've seen the baby.
Bayliss: I know, but I love babies.
Pembleton: Then have one of your own.
Bayliss: Hey Frank, remember when I said that I've never been invited to your house. I wanna come to your house, Frank.
Pembleton: No, not tonight.
Bayliss: I'll call your wife. Your wife will let me come over. Your wife likes me.
Pembleton: God knows why.
Bayliss: I'll meet you in the garage.
Pembleton: Oh, happy day.
Pembleton: Come where?
Bayliss: See the baby.
Pembleton: You've seen the baby.
Bayliss: I know, but I love babies.
Pembleton: Then have one of your own.
Bayliss: Hey Frank, remember when I said that I've never been invited to your house. I wanna come to your house, Frank.
Pembleton: No, not tonight.
Bayliss: I'll call your wife. Your wife will let me come over. Your wife likes me.
Pembleton: God knows why.
Bayliss: I'll meet you in the garage.
Pembleton: Oh, happy day.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: Yeah, see when I saw that, I knew she would love it.
Pembleton: She's two weeks old, Bayliss. She doesn't know what she loves.
Bayliss: Sure, she does. Hey, Olivia, you like uncle Timmy, don't you? Yeah?
Pembleton: Uncle Timmy?
Bayliss: What?
Pembleton: Talking to babies in that goo-goo voice, like they're understanding. I hate that. I hate it.
Pembleton: She's two weeks old, Bayliss. She doesn't know what she loves.
Bayliss: Sure, she does. Hey, Olivia, you like uncle Timmy, don't you? Yeah?
Pembleton: Uncle Timmy?
Bayliss: What?
Pembleton: Talking to babies in that goo-goo voice, like they're understanding. I hate that. I hate it.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: Geez, Frank. What must you think when you look into this crib and see that face?
Pembleton: I see - Mary and me, struggling with two salaries to make sure Olivia goes to college. I see - me going ballistic because she comes in after curfew. I see - a guy, just like you, coming to my front door, saying I'm gonna marry your daughter.
Pembleton: I see - Mary and me, struggling with two salaries to make sure Olivia goes to college. I see - me going ballistic because she comes in after curfew. I see - a guy, just like you, coming to my front door, saying I'm gonna marry your daughter.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Kellerman: C'mon Meldrick. Stay on the boat tonight.
Lewis: I love you man, but I'm not in love with you.
Lewis: I love you man, but I'm not in love with you.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: I am good Murder Police aren't I, Gee?
Gee: Yes, of course.
Bayliss: I'm standing here thinkin' about Frank, about everything I've learned from him, the past four years.
Gee: His technique in the box?
Bayliss: Yeah, but it's more than that. You know, I've finally got to a place where I understand how he thinks. See, when I find a suspect, I like to get in their brain, and figure out why they would wanna take another person's life. Why? But Frank, well, Frank, all he sees is a dead body. Doesn't matter to him who they were, what they did. He strips away their personality, he makes them all equal in death, because if they have been murdered, they must be avenged. Forward, without any hesitation, without any moral dilemma, his mind's so clear on that Gee, his mind. I just don't know if I'm gonna be as good a detective as I am without Frank.
Gee: Yes, of course.
Bayliss: I'm standing here thinkin' about Frank, about everything I've learned from him, the past four years.
Gee: His technique in the box?
Bayliss: Yeah, but it's more than that. You know, I've finally got to a place where I understand how he thinks. See, when I find a suspect, I like to get in their brain, and figure out why they would wanna take another person's life. Why? But Frank, well, Frank, all he sees is a dead body. Doesn't matter to him who they were, what they did. He strips away their personality, he makes them all equal in death, because if they have been murdered, they must be avenged. Forward, without any hesitation, without any moral dilemma, his mind's so clear on that Gee, his mind. I just don't know if I'm gonna be as good a detective as I am without Frank.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Gaffney: You know, Al, it's a good thing Russert runs off. Between her and Pembleton, it's like an episode of Nash Bridges around here.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: [Holding coffee pot] Who-who finished the last of the...uh...bagel?
Lewis: Bagel?
Pembleton: Bagel. Bagel. BAY-GUL! Hot. Brown. Liquid? Bagel.
Lewis: Oh, sure. Bagel.
Kellerman: You mean "coffee," Frank.
Pembleton: Th-that's what I said, isn't it?
Kellerman: Right, uh, the bagel.
Pembleton: [yelling] Who finished the last of the bagel, huh?
Lewis: [quietly] Kellerman.
Pembleton: [to Kellerman] You-you-you make the next pot, huh?
Lewis: Bagel?
Pembleton: Bagel. Bagel. BAY-GUL! Hot. Brown. Liquid? Bagel.
Lewis: Oh, sure. Bagel.
Kellerman: You mean "coffee," Frank.
Pembleton: Th-that's what I said, isn't it?
Kellerman: Right, uh, the bagel.
Pembleton: [yelling] Who finished the last of the bagel, huh?
Lewis: [quietly] Kellerman.
Pembleton: [to Kellerman] You-you-you make the next pot, huh?
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: It's okay. I know. I talk funny. I walk funny. I'm a little bit slow. But I still know this job. Me and you. We can find this guy.
Bayliss: Frank, go home.
Pembleton: You don't think I'm good enough to be your partner, do you?
Bayliss: That's not true.
Pembleton: I'm the same man. I'm the same man. You don't think I'm the same man, do you? You think I'm never gonna be the same? You kiss my ass.
Bayliss: Frank, go home.
Pembleton: You don't think I'm good enough to be your partner, do you?
Bayliss: That's not true.
Pembleton: I'm the same man. I'm the same man. You don't think I'm the same man, do you? You think I'm never gonna be the same? You kiss my ass.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: We're gonna find Gerry Uba, and I'm not gonna stop until I put this case down.
Munch: I forgot about this side of you.
Bayliss: What side?
Munch: The obsessive side.
Munch: I forgot about this side of you.
Bayliss: What side?
Munch: The obsessive side.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: You know, this isn't easy for me either. Everything's all switched around. I'm not usually the one who's driving, Frank; you are. And I'm not used to looking at the right side of your face, I'm used to looking at the left side.
Pembleton: [turning to the side] How's this? Now you can look at the back side of my face.
Bayliss: You know, I'm tough with you, you hate me. I'm nice to you, you hate me.
Pembleton: [turning to the side] How's this? Now you can look at the back side of my face.
Bayliss: You know, I'm tough with you, you hate me. I'm nice to you, you hate me.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: I had the stroke; I almost died. I'm supposed to be a different person, huh? I'm supposed to treat people better?
Bayliss: I'm not people; I'm your partner.
Pembleton: Oh, you're my partner. I sit at a desk. I am of absolutely no use to you and I'm your partner. I watch my weight. I watch my diet. I watch my blood pressure. Every 8 hours, no matter where I am, or what I'm doing, I hafta take a little white pill. If I don't follow the rules, I die. I'm not going to treat you differently. I won't. 'Cause that's not who I am. And who I am is all I have left.
Bayliss: I'm not people; I'm your partner.
Pembleton: Oh, you're my partner. I sit at a desk. I am of absolutely no use to you and I'm your partner. I watch my weight. I watch my diet. I watch my blood pressure. Every 8 hours, no matter where I am, or what I'm doing, I hafta take a little white pill. If I don't follow the rules, I die. I'm not going to treat you differently. I won't. 'Cause that's not who I am. And who I am is all I have left.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: Have you ever been in prison, Meldrick?
Lewis: What? You mean as a prisoner?
Bayliss: Yeah.
Lewis: No.
Bayliss: I have.
Lewis: How come the more I know about you Bayliss, the less I wanna know? So 'fess up. What were you in the pokey for? Drunk driving, date rape, pedophilia?
Bayliss: No.
Lewis: So, what?
Bayliss: I protested human rights violations in El Salvador.
Lewis: Of course.
Bayliss: I was 18, 19.
Lewis: So how much time did you spend in jail for protesting human rights violations in El Salvador?
Bayliss: I was in the holding cell for two nights.
Lewis: Two nights? That don't exactly count as hard time.
Bayliss: They were very long nights.
Lewis: So why didn't you post bail?
Bayliss: My dad refused to come get me.
Lewis: Okay, that's harsh.
Bayliss: Yeah, my dad had very set ideas about life.
Lewis: Well at least I hope you stiffed him on Father's Day.
Bayliss: Every chance I got.
Lewis: What? You mean as a prisoner?
Bayliss: Yeah.
Lewis: No.
Bayliss: I have.
Lewis: How come the more I know about you Bayliss, the less I wanna know? So 'fess up. What were you in the pokey for? Drunk driving, date rape, pedophilia?
Bayliss: No.
Lewis: So, what?
Bayliss: I protested human rights violations in El Salvador.
Lewis: Of course.
Bayliss: I was 18, 19.
Lewis: So how much time did you spend in jail for protesting human rights violations in El Salvador?
Bayliss: I was in the holding cell for two nights.
Lewis: Two nights? That don't exactly count as hard time.
Bayliss: They were very long nights.
Lewis: So why didn't you post bail?
Bayliss: My dad refused to come get me.
Lewis: Okay, that's harsh.
Bayliss: Yeah, my dad had very set ideas about life.
Lewis: Well at least I hope you stiffed him on Father's Day.
Bayliss: Every chance I got.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Kellerman: I just want you to know that I'm here for you. And if you want a hug, I'd be happy to give you one.
Bayliss: A hug?
Kellerman: Yeah.
Bayliss: Do you and Lewis hug?
Kellerman: Yeah.
Bayliss: A lot?
Kellerman: No, not a lot.
Bayliss: But enough.
Kellerman: What do you mean?
Bayliss: Well, do you want Lewis to hug you more?
Kellerman: Forget I brought this up.
Bayliss: No, no, no. You brought up the hugging thing.
Bayliss: A hug?
Kellerman: Yeah.
Bayliss: Do you and Lewis hug?
Kellerman: Yeah.
Bayliss: A lot?
Kellerman: No, not a lot.
Bayliss: But enough.
Kellerman: What do you mean?
Bayliss: Well, do you want Lewis to hug you more?
Kellerman: Forget I brought this up.
Bayliss: No, no, no. You brought up the hugging thing.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Gee: All we need is a couple of facts. We already know the truth.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: Listen to me, I'm sounding like Pembleton here.
Howard: It could be worse, you could sound like Munch.
Howard: It could be worse, you could sound like Munch.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Lewis: I'm looking for Stivers. I'm gonna smack him.
Stivers: Take your best shot, pal.
Lewis: Terri Stivers? You a woman.
Stivers: You homicide guys, always pickin' up on small details.
Stivers: Take your best shot, pal.
Lewis: Terri Stivers? You a woman.
Stivers: You homicide guys, always pickin' up on small details.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Kellerman: Someone's in the jackpot.
Lewis: Yeah, well, it ain't me. I ain't done nothing. Lately.
Lewis: Yeah, well, it ain't me. I ain't done nothing. Lately.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street